shaindel

I got a hilarious reference call for info about a girl, so the mother basically read from a list of 20 questions I felt like shes reading from a list cause she said “did I miss something oh, #6 ” NO JOKE so a while later I was reading Binah’s shidduchim magazine where I saw the exact list of questions -verbatim (Its getting ridiculous) she also wanted to know about stuff no onein their right mind will answer truthfully!! like is she gorgeous? the girl happened to have beautiful midos-wise but she wasn’t extraordinarily gorgeous so what was I supposed to say????

bottom line is the moms call the girls but they wont get straight answers for sure not, everyone I spoke to says they only exaggerate and embellish everything to make it sound perfect! I mean things get back to you and by the way I have one particular friend who calls me and repeats the whole conversation she had with the guys mom sometimes they are normal- a relief- but sometimes I find out who to stay away from!!!! the moms can totally ruin their sons shidduchim with their questions!!

I wonder what happens on the other side girl’s parents call boys references prob. the same…

Bnos-

frum girls more towards yeshivish, solid BY

Raninu-

all diffrent types*****(see Sternberg) more open minded BY

Shira-

frum girls more open minded & yeshivish solid BY

Chedva-

frum girls more open minded-BY

Sternberg-

*****all diffrent types meaning: out of town, in town, frum, yeshivish, middle, modern etc. its a very open minded and everyone can go type of camp

A lot of camps dont have a certain type they get tons of different girls you have to look at were they live, school etc. to get a better picture. Some camps are known to be fancier, more in town, flatbush, out of town, aidel etc. than others

personally I know many girls who go to a camp which on paper is sooooo nooottt their type at all but they love it!!!!

so really check out the individual!!!!

Daven HaKadosh Baruch Hu is Mizaveg Zivugim… the shadchan is a shliach So Daven, have Bitachon yes, IY”H BeKarov!

Be referred to the shadchan, email them, call them, text them call in the mornings!!!!!

some have certain hours— be considerate if your polite they’ll be nice too!

some pointers:

call back once they redd a shidduch in a timely manner

speak respectfully, if the shidduch’s not for you don’t say anything that could hurt the other party involved (he’s ugly etc.)– its just not for you

Hatzlacha IY”H everyone should find their besherte bkarov!

Girls need everyones support and really HaKadosh Baruch Hu Has the ultimate plan. Every one should daven, use the time to become better people, help each other out- chesed-, they have many opportunities at this stage of life since they are capable individuals with a unique role. They can and should do whatever they can to keep busy and not let their single”ness” takeover their lives.

The key is contact everyone they know and let them know your out there because you never know someones bound to know someone! Really contact everyone and have parents, friends do the same it should be a project while you’ll living life!

It makes sense that the best shidduchim are from people you know. There’s a great way to make shidduchim through shidduch meetings it gives people an opportunity to present different singles and come up with good shidduchim! The whole idea is you join a meeting of 20-40 ladies all devoted to spend time for making shidduchim. You describe a single you know and someone there is bound to know of someone or someone’s relative that could be suitable. It really works!!!!

People generally tend to feel safer following protocol but really not everything is clear-cut and ya, sometimes the easy-going mentality ends up being better then following protocol ( going to a shadchan,getting set up,checking out the girl/guy(1week guy next week girl) by the time the girl says yes its take a looooong time!, the shadchan sets the first 2-3 dates,etc.)

Sometimes you should take the risk and be a little open minded so many really great,heimish,frum u-name-it couples met sort of own their own,for example in Israel at a family’s shabbos table later the couple redt them to each other- there’s nothing wrong with it!

Someone emailed me this as a basic outline for a shidduch resume- check if it covers everything.

Full Name, (what your called (optional))

Address

Home Phone

Parent’s Cell(s) -so the shadchan can reach your parents

Your Cell-(optional)

Email Address

Age

Date of Birth

Hgt

Appearance(optional)

School:

H.S.

Seminary/Yeshiva/Bais Medresh

College/Graduate School/Vocational School/Training

Employment:

Community involvement/Chesed/Volunteer work:

Name, Phone number, what you do

Camp, Name

Bungalow Colony/Vacation/Summer Home, Name (if applicable)

Shul, Rav, Phone number

Family:

Father(name), occupation

Mother(name),(maiden name), occupation

Sibling- name, age, what they do?(school, college,etc.),spouse’s name(if applicable)

each sibling

Machatonim- Name,Phone number (if applicable)

References:

Name, how you know them- (Rav,Rebetzin,Family friends,Neighbors,Teachers/principals from seminary/yeshiva/H.S, Friends preferably married,Co-workers,boss etc.)

phone number for each reference

It’s important when you choose references be careful to choose people you trust and really know you well!! Also try to choose people who are good speakers- the key is that the people calling should be impressed with you!

Looking for spouse who?,Looking for Family who?

What your plans are?,What kind of person you are?

I’m not sure if Jdate is soo religious why not check out http://www.sawyouatsinai.com ???? whats with shidduchworld.org I saw it advertised here??

I heard of a girl who was in shidduchim long enough and she wanted to offer a substantial amount,… a couple of thousands… to make shadchanim redt her quality boys, she was told not to do it

Please daven for Dovid Eliyakum Ben Tzivia he is need of all of our tefillos. May Hashem bentch us for this upcoming year to have only bring yeshuos for Klal Yisroel.

I know some seminaries level girls I think its beneficial, since girls who are at different levels can learn at their own pace. The girls who want to learn at a high school level can and those who want more advanced honors classes like learning from certain Rabbis & Teachers or only in Hebrew can gain tremendously! It works both ways…

also sometimes girls can get into the honors class for the next semester if they’re up to it.

I heard of someone who has seizures is that genetic?