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If no one wants to marry you are you then supposed to force someone to or marry a goy so you do not “sin”?
Well if I’m 19 and I have to choose to date someone 6 years older or 10 years- I’d choose ten. If I grow up a bit and still haven’t found my zivug my range would change
Negative sites are on everyone’s taivos. I mean that’s like one of the 3 main mitzvos people- gilu arayos. Where do you things bad sites lead to?
Anyone who has even a small amount of internet access needs to be aware, on guard, and knowledgeable about this.
Okay then ocho sunco@-what does attractive mean to you?
Describe what you mean. You can be attracted to someone but be pushed away by one feature and that does not mean you should turn away. There’s no love at first sight. You need to feel comfortable, like your could spend your life with her, she looks nice, and ??? you don’t need that much more in that area.
Health@ I would go for a boy whom is chassidish, or sefardi, or litvish or ashkanazi, whatever my zivug is. Weight is a hard issue but since I’m overweight myself I can’t really talk, so I’d have to say yes. (Perhaps when I’m in shidduchim I’ll be skinner bezrat Hashem, but I still would say yes)
Age is not a factor, I would marry someone younger than me (as long as he’s at least 20 when I’m dating but I hope to find my zivug before then) and I don’t care that much if he’s 7 years older than me for all that matters. If he has the middos, yiras shamayim, and everything else I’m looking for why should age or skin color play a part?
I tell girls in my class I’d marry an etheopian. Why not? Hashem chooses zivugim and he’ll worry about me. I’m very open minded.
The one thing I cannot have in a spouse though is closed mindness.
That’s a deal breaker.
No theme
Lower your expectations? You can’t find someone that is prefect. You may find a girl who is amazing for you in the middos area, and ruchaniyus area but she is taller than you or a bit overwheight or has a nose you don’t like or something like that-would you turn her down?
If you live in Israel you can avoid OU. Although most people look at us like were weird as immigrant americans not actually eating OU but whatever
And this people, is why our Rav says we cannot eat OU.
When you see a heksher on something you assume the heksher means the entire package is kosher, not half, not a third, not what 1/4, like seriously? If it has non kosher items MIXED with kosher items INSIDE the packahe where they can get stuc together, touch each other, and more- WHY IS THERE A HEKSHER ON IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
It’s completely trief.
We have consmetics and sanitary stuff here. G-d forbid you americans try any other company, right?
Yourself. That might be something you DONT want to leave behind.
Read seminary savy
Did someone say shopping? Lol, search the CR-it’s been posted before
I am already doing that in the zechus of 2 other people but I will add him on. Refuah Shelaima!
Nothing more needs to be said.
I think it’s more about not judging others so much. We judge everyone all the time, all day, what they wear, how they act, even people in your own family. We need to STOP.
Only then the geula can come
apushatayid- perhaps because this isn’t the 90’S.
And to teach us ahavas yisroel and tolerence. 🙂
What’s wrong with teenage girls on the web? I’m a senior and I’m here. I’m the youngest here by far. As long as you respect those around you and act like an adult you will be treated like one in the CR. Use grammar, seichel, and respect, and you are good to go.
Not all sems brainwash. And not all kids are that cut off from reality. Although when I went to look at sems I felt it was very true. No matter where I go I’ve met reality, and I know what it’s like. Perhaps israeli’s are just more mature, realistic, and have dealt with life more considering the wars, arabs, poverty, history of this land, and so many more challenges.
I agree that seminary is being overused, but there are some people who SHOULD go. I myself think that I really need to learn kodesh in a english speaking environment that dorms. This I believe is a personal choice that fits my needs for next year. The first thing that fits the bill for what I need is american seminary. And I’ve checked them out. I feel the majority of girls I saw were immature, in-town, and wasting their parents money. There are sems in america, and seriously- they don’t get to venture out to see Israel that much. You can get the Israel expirience in the summer, a 3 months seminary, free programs available in many Out of town cities, and you can go live there on your own too after completing american sem and paying your own bills.
In any case, I know my parents have 0 money for seminary. That is why I’m being painfully realistic with myself that I have to go to the american israeli seminaries who understand the margin of income for Israelis-people not making it every month no matter how hard they work. Even so, I felt shana aleph in seminary is equivalent to israeli 11th and 12th grade and that it wasn’t for me.
In any case, there are reaosns people go to seminary, and sometimes it IS the best choice for someone. But more often than not girls get here that don’t need it, or even brings them down in the long run (think unrealistic expectation of life) and short run (think sem girls and yeshiva guys at ben yehudah 11pm any weekday night)
I know too many people who abused their sem year. If they would of gone to USA for sem they would of come out as better people versus worse.
As much as my school stuffs it in to us that we need to marry a guy in learning (and this is still high school were talking about) I am realistic. I don’t think I would be able to work full time at all. I think I could do part time working. but not more than that. It would be lovely for my husband to learn all day when we get married but the reality is that even in shana rishona I’d want him to do some kind of work either so we can live comfortabely in shana rishona or to save up- on top of the fact that I think men need to work a bit since Hashem made them that way.
Not everyone should learn. Flatbusher@ – there definetly needs to be learners. But right now I think there is way too many.
I want a guy that does learn when he can. A night chavrusa, 2 hours on shabbos, on the way and back to work-I want a guy that looks at himself realisticly and sees he cannot learn 8 hours a day but he can fit in 3 or 4. And as we have more kids it might diwndle to 1 or 2. But I want a guy that will live for those 2 hours.
I have trouble concentrating for too long. 10 hours days of school are hard for me. But just because 10 hours is hard and I dont enjoy it doesn’t mean I can’t love 2 hours and hold on 2 hours of learning if I had every day. See my point?
There was an asrticle in mishpacha about how a father looked at what his kids needed for a spouse rather than what everyone else had/top kids/ and so on. I think this is the cause of the shidduch crisis. We all label each other, think we need top guys with tops girls with top weddings. Look at his middos. Would you take the guy who wants to learn 8 hours but isn’t a good conversation guy over a guy who wants to learn for 2 but can talk for hours? What would work better with your needs realisticly?
Unfortunately everyone has to put on a show and pretend we are looking for this perfect guy instead of being realistic like this.
The miracle is that despite this messed up system people actually do get married- and a lot! The married ones should be the exception and not the rule in this system
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Depends on what you call normal
“Although I know the spot I dug is not really mine, I spend a lot of time and money digging it out. I just want to let you know that if you park here I will spend the same amount of time and money putting all that snow back around your car. I wish you luck finding a spot and hope you will reconsider this one now.”
– I saw I sign with this on it-now that is smart!
I consider myself to be a OOT and I’m proud of it!
Don’t go to Cincinnati.
L
You mean Yachad?
Whoos human’s error?
Hashem is reading: I was cracking up:
Laden with packages over each arm, running around Malcha Mall looking in all the little stands for an emerald sword for sale.
Now that should be my subtitle lol.
People’s subs should be visionaries oh how the mods think we look like. lol. Or suggestions from posters about how they look like.
Was this so called thread deleted?
What thread? Sounds interesting…..
oh lol. What was with the crazy bumping?
People like me have it tough. I have yet to find anyone/organization/grant for girls whom live in Israel currently.
Hashem will send help. I’m not going for sem for camp. I have reasons I cannot disclose here.
But don’t judge everyone.