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what do you do when you are so stressed and upset?
When I get stressed and upset, I simply swallow it and ignore it. At one time I used to get upset and slam doors, but I have since learned to stop doing that. Now, I just hold it all in until it dissipates.
The Wolf
A close female relative of mine had a teacher who refused to believe that her Hebrew name was, in fact, a name. She called her by a different name all year.
The Wolf
deleted, this conversation has already ended
i find it interesting, you rant and rave how you outsmarted the torah.
FTR, I NEVER made any such claim.
The Wolf
I’ll tell you what, chesed….
I’ll do the opposite of “heter shopping.” I’ll ask another rav and even abide by his decision. Does that make you happy?
However, I’m also going to ask if you’re allowed to cook for an apikorus on Yom Tov (since an apikorus has a status of a non-Jew vis-a-vis many halachos). Who knows? Perhaps I won’t even be allowed to cook for myself.
The Wolf
now wolf, please do tell the name of the rav that said you can invite a goy for the yom tov meal??
Doesn’t matter, does it? I’ve already decided that I’m not going to argue further with you on this and that we should return the thread to it’s original purpose.
Besides, since you believe I’m an apikorus (for reasons entirely unrelated to whether or not you can have a non-Jew over for Yom Tov) and since I’ve advised everyone THREE TIMES already to contact their own LOR regarding this issue and to NOT RELY ON ME, what difference does it make to you?
One last thing… I hope you never suffer from self-image issues. You wouldn’t want someone to label you an apikorus for it.
The Wolf
When was the last time you saw a herring and Kichel (or salami sandwich) wedding?
Actually, I was at a wedding in Lakewood a number of years ago where they did serve deli sandwiches.
It was (to me, anyway) a refreshing change from the standard fare.
The Wolf
and for g-ds sake stop using your corrupt logic to pasken shalos
Oh, and chesed… I know you’re not going to listen to me because I’m an apikorus and all that, but it’s still proper and respectful to use a capital G in “G-d.”
The Wolf
But to call Wolf an apikores and rasha over something that he discussed with his LOR is just stupid.
To be fair, that’s NOT what he said.
He said:
i know you’ll say OK I’m rasha I’ve been called worse, but that attitude deems you an apikoros,
To me, that reads that I am an apikorus not because I believe you can serve a sandwich to a non-Jew on Yom Tov, but because I don’t view myself positively.
The Wolf
overmutaring
Heh. I read this as “overmaturing” on the first read. 🙂
The Wolf
You know something, chesed… I don’t care to argue this with you anymore. Since you’ve already decided that because I don’t always view myself favorably that I’m an apikorus, then you probably shouldn’t argue with me anyway. I might further corrupt your soul or something like that.
I think we’ve hijacked this thread long enough. How about we return it back to the topic at hand — inviting non-Jews to affairs (that don’t happen on Yom Tov)?
The Wolf
i know you’ll say OK I’m rasha I’ve been called worse, but that attitude deems you an apikoros
Doesn’t matter. I’ve known for a long time that many people deem me to be an apikores for lots of reason unrelated to the ones discussed herein.
So one more issue doesn’t seem to be a problem. You want to call me an apikorus for my self-image issues, go ahead. I don’t care.
The Wolf
EDITED
a sandwich doesn’t make it mutar, ask a real rov.
I’ll tell you what… why don’t you show me a source that says that having a non-Jew over for Yom Tov where there is no cooking is assur?
Do you even know the reason why it’s a problem on Yom Tov and not Shabbos? The reason is SOLELY because of the cooking!
And, for the third time, I’m not advising anyone to follow what I do. I clearly told everyone and anyone to contact their own LOR.
The Wolf
inviting a goy on yom tov is assur!! period.
Is it?
You’re SURE that if I invite a non-Jew to a Yom Tov meal and DON’T COOK ANYTHING (i.e. serve deli sandwiches) that it’s assur?
It’s clearly not. The issur is in cooking, not inviting. All your yelling and protesting to the contrary doesn’t change that.
As for the actual cooking, I clearly recommend you ask your LOR. You may well get a different answer than I got.
The Wolf
By the way I never got how Yishmael became a Jewish name
Pssst… come here… closer…. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Shhhh! Don’t let anyone else know… they might accuse you of kefira or the like.
OK, here’s the deal. During the time of the second Beis HaMikdash many foreign names became “common.” Our Mishna is full of them. What? You thought Tarphon and Antignous were nice, Jewish names? The history of the Bayis Sheini is full of people who have Greek and/or Roman names. That Yishmael could creep in as a name is not very surprising either.
OK, go back and act normal. Pretend this conversation never happened.
The Wolf
A friend or bubba? Or a posek?
No. The man in the moon. : rolleyes :
The Wolf
There is a reason why Yidden sit shiva when, Chas V’Challila, someone intermarries.
I have not seen anyone do this in at least my lifetime. Furthermore, I am not aware of any rav in the U.S. who advocates this today.
The Wolf
You could apply the same logic to shopping in ShopRite. How does an observer know that I’m going to buy something kosher? Perhaps I’m headed straight for the lobster counter?
The reality is that when someone sees me, he probably assumes that I’m there for some permissible activity. While it is possible that I’m loading up my cart with lobster while in there, the observer probably figures “hey, he’s frum, he’s probably buying kosher.”
Likewise I, as an observer, if I saw a frum person enter a nice treif restaurant, would first think “he’s there on business to meet a client and not to eat.”
If I can be dan l’kaf zechus by Shoprite, why can’t I do so by a restaurant?
The Wolf
People have this thing against non-biblical names.
I have a perfectly fine Jewish, Hebrew name that is non-biblical. In fact, now that I think about it, both of my names AND both of my father’s names are perfectly fine Jewish, Hebrew names that are not biblical in nature.
The Wolf
You aren’t modernish just Farmished if you say Seuda Shlishis. Its very rare to hear a Seuda Shlishi”s”. Its either Seuda Shlishit or Shalosh Seudot. Or Shahloshudis. Or Shaluhsheedis or Shalsheedis if you are Chassidish.
In my house you’d probably hear them all.
My daughter went to a school where the modern, Israeli style pronunciation is used. My boys have a more yeshivish style (including using “oy” for a cholom — which ALWAYS grates on my nerves). I use an Ashkenazic pronunciation.
The Wolf
as far as inviting a goy for yom tov meal, wolf is that heter your own, you didn’t see it in a sefer, or did you ask someone?
Yes, I discussed it with someone.
Again, there is no issur, whatsoever, to invite a non-Jew for a Yom Tov meal. If, for example, I were serving nothing more than deli sandwiches, there would be no issue whatsoever. The issue is only in the cooking for them. You simply cannot cook explicitly for them.
In any event, don’t rely on me for a p’sak. By all means, CYLOR.
The Wolf
Amazing how some people twist non-heterim into doing some of the biggest aveiros in the book.
I’m curious which aveiros described here are “the biggest aveiros in the book.” No one has advocated murder, idolatry or sexual indiscretion. To me, those are the “biggest aveiros in the book.”
The Wolf
are you a girl?
??????
Have you been following anything I’ve been saying here for the last two years? Do you think that I’ve been lying about every detail of my life that I posted here for the last two years?
The Wolf
Goyim are never your family. A “marriage” to a goy is a non-marriage.
Technically, yes. In the practical real world, they’re still family.
The Wolf
still assur to invite a goy for a yom tov meal.
Not necessarily. There’s nothing that says you can’t have them over to eat. You simply cannot cook explicitly for them, but if you have them over in a large enough crowd, it’s not nearly as much of a problem. I would cook the same amount for 16 as I would for 12. As a proof, if I were cooking for 12 and they called at the last minute and said “can we bring four more people over, is it okay?” my answer would always be yes — because I ALWAYS overcook.
The Wolf
It is my understanding that the reason it is called “3 meals” is because we are required to eat 3 meals on Shabbos, but don’t get “credit” for the first two until we’ve eaten the third.
Oh well. I guess since I refuse (on grammatical principle) to call the third meal “Shalosh Seudos,” I don’t ever get any credit. Yet another sign that I’m going to lowest depths of Hell in the afterlife.
The Wolf
Why are you acknowledging your goyish “relatives”?
Because you don’t get to pick who your family is.
I’m so happy for you that you have the perfect family where no one ever sins and everything goes perfectly for you. Here, in the real world, it doesn’t always work that way.
Yes, I have non-Jewish relatives, not through any choice or fault of my own. I’m sorry if my family makes me unacceptable to you, but they *are* still family and so they are still welcome in my home. We’ve had them over for happy occasions and for sad, for Shabbos and for Yom Tov. We believe that it’s important for those kids who are halachically Jewish to see what a Jewish home is and that in the cases where the it’s the wife who’s not Jewish that perhaps they might want to convert.
The Wolf
Note: while you are correct that this aspect of the Sixth Amendment does apply to the states, not every aspect of the Bill of Rights does. (Honestly, who here knew that?)
Nonetheless, the vast majority of the Bill of Rights *does* apply to the states due to the Due Process clause in the 14th amendment.
The Wikipedia article below has a good summary of which parts of the Bill of Rights have been incorporated into the states and which ones haven’t.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incorporation_of_the_Bill_of_Rights
The Wolf
You’re equating the two is completely laughable
Yes, I realized I used “you’re” instead of “your.”
Nonetheless, your argument is so ludicrous that it’s the same as saying that we need to prevent jaywalkers because “one we go this crazy route, what’s wrong with murder?”
The Wolf
that’s what’s wrong with your hashkafa, walking into a treif restaurant is ASUR! and so is marring a goy.
You completely missed my point.
One is an issur d’rabbanan and one is an issur d’oraissa (and a fairly severe one at that). You’re equating the two is completely laughable.
The Wolf
i mean once we go this crazy route, what’s wrong with marring a goy if you don’t have kids with her?
C’mon… you’re comparing walking into a non-kosher restaurant with intermarriage? As long as you’re making ridiculous comparisons, why not go all the way and say “once you go this crazy route what’s wrong with blowing up the world?”
The Wolf
I tend not to worry about such things. When He determines that it is the right time, He will make it happen in whatever manner He deems fit.
The Wolf
When Moshiach comes and the Beis Din is restored, will there be such a thing as Jews sinning? Will there still be a need for misas beis din amongst Klal Yisroel?
As the Rambam famously states:
There is no difference between this world and the next except for the subjugation by the nations.
The Wolf
I have never heard it applied to the time after the indictment before trial or punishment.
In most (all?) jurisdictions in the United States, the state has a limited amount of time after indictment to begin the trial. This is due to the 6th amendment which states:
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial
The Wolf
IOW, Wolf, why did you ask only me to back up my claim? Why not the OP? Why the double standard?
You’re going to laugh, but the reason is because I did not read the OP, but I did read your post.
The Wolf
Do you then disagree with the Department of Sanitation’s program of yellow stickers on the windows of alternate side violators?
As a matter of fact, I do. But don’t expect me to fight City Hall on this. 🙂
The Wolf
Are you trying to say that if a mechallel Shabbos convict escaped after conviction but before execution, if he is caught 25 years later he can be executed?
I would have to learn the sugya again to be certain, but I believe that to be the case.
Of course, the rules of testimony in the new case are the same as in the old case. Two witnesses who witnessed the conviction would have to testify to the conviction (not to the actual chillul Shabbos).
And does it matter if he was convicted and sentenced by beis din (is there even a “sentencing phase”?) or if he escaped after conviction but before sentencing?
There is no sentencing phase. The penalty is already set by the Torah.
Indeed, upon conviction of a capital crime in beis din what is the procedure? Is he immediately taken to the place of execution, or are there other formalities first?
The convicted is taken for execution immediately. However, he is allowed to try to put forth new arguments for his acquittal. Each time he is returned to the Bais Din. However, after a few times, he is only returned if there is substance to his arguments.
The Wolf
Shtuyot vehavalim. The more sheltered, the less OTD.
I’d LOVE to see your evidence to back this up.
The Wolf
“Rumshpringen”
The word you’re looking for is Rumspringa.
The Wolf
Can you not agree with the simple proposition that one who is inconsiderate towards others would possibly learn from being on the receiving end, and thus might possibly change their behavior?
Yes, he would. He would also learn if the homeowner slapped him in the face or did any of half-a-dozen other things to him too. That doesn’t necessarily make it right.
Look, I really understand his position… and in his shoes, I’d probably be *highly* tempted to do the same. And furthermore, I agree there is some form of “justice” to it. But in the end, as my mother always taught me, two wrongs don’t make a right.
The Wolf
Wolf, when i glue signs on the cars, i place them only on windows, and with a gluestick not crazy glue. this is similar and a lot easier to remove then those annoying yellow department of sanitation stickers. it is a nuisance to remove, but not as much of a nuisance as being stuck without my – legal – driveway
But is it right to create a nuisance for someone else just because they did for you? I’m not convinced that it is.
Trust me, I understand your plight… and inwardly I can appreciate what you’re trying to do and can understand the sense of satisfaction from doing it. But nonetheless, I’m not at all convinced that it’s the right thing to do.
The Wolf
The most intresting tread yet noone is posting!!!
I think you owe seven people an apology. We are not “no one.”
The Wolf
Wolf- If you weren’t named that until now, then you are fine! You need a boost of self confidence and stop caring about what other will say about you all the time.
That’s okay… it was just a joke (as indicated by the smiley on the end).
I’m not too worried about anyone calling me “modernishe.” 🙂
The Wolf
Why mar a simcha with a nochri?
Why do you feel that a nochri, by his very being there, mars the simcha?
The Wolf
wolf
you write “Then don’t invite any non-Jews to your wedding.”
isn’t the point of posting here to voice OUR opinions? it doesn’t make much sense to say “Then don’t invite etc.”
Fair enough. You’re entitled to your opinion as much as I am entitled to mine.
as far as the cost of the wedding, your comment again doesn’t make much sense, this isn’t about what we can or can’t afford. or what we should be spending. the average goy that goes to a heimish wedding and sees the band, the hall, clothing, jewelry, etc… will come out with a certain notion, which isn’t necessary
Why do you assume that our weddings are any more or less fancy than non-Jewish weddings?
“it adds simcha to the choson and kalla”
i don’t think the father inviting his friends or co-workers adds anything to the choson and kalla. we’re not talking about the babysitter that’s been with the family for 30 years.
Who said anything about the father inviting friends? When Eeees and I got married, some of the non-Jews who attended were *our* friends, and yes, it did contribute greatly to our simcha.
you’re getting old,
I don’t see why my age is relevant.
all your points on this one were way off,
No they weren’t… they were quite to the point.
not sure if you just wanted to argue and didn’t have any good points, or you didn’t sleep well last night.
I slept quite well… thank you for your concern.
on a side note I’m sure you’re a great guy,
Oooooh… a backhanded compliment.
but you should find a rav and get really close to him. most of your hashkafa is way off.
Pray tell… in what ways are my hashkafos “way off.”
The Wolf
i really want to apologize for the tension between us. i feel at fault for it.
Apology accepted
but seriously “wolf”, it doesnt take much more than half a brain to realize that i , a bochur in israel, would know about this issue as a whole.
No, it means that you’re *more familiar* with it than I am. But that hardly makes you an expert — no more than my being a frum Jew makes me an expert in all of Orthodox Jewish culture.
Take my advice, learn a little bit about data sampling and statistics before you start making generalizations from a small subset.
The Wolf
I know I’ll be labeled a “modernishe” person for this, but I refer to it as Seuda Shlishis. 🙂
The Wolf
Wolf: Good for you, that is the right thing. I still don’t have a megillah (after all these years), I just don’t see it as required over other expenses.
Well, as I said, I won it at an auction. I probably would not have bought it outright.
Plus I do a fair amount of work with it.
The Wolf
Wolfishmusings is VERY far off about Jews being no more showy. Anyway, since when are jews okay if their acting exactly like the non-jews?! Aren’t we expected to live more meaningful lives than goyim? Aren’t we supposed to be a “light unto the nations”? A shining example for the rest of the word of how to live moral, meaningful and fulfilling lives?! It scares me what’s become of this world when I see a comment like that. Wake up and see the light WolfishMusings! Repent while you still can!
Let me get this straight…
Another poster makes the comment that Jews are more showy than non-Jews.
I disagree and state that they aren’t any more showy.
You then decide that *I* have to repent because Jews should act better (i.e. be less showy) than non-Jews.
While I don’t argue that Jews should NOT engage in ostentatious displays, is there a reason you’re picking on me rather than on the OP who posited an even worse position vis-a-vis the behavior of Jews? Tell me why I need to “repent while I still can” but the OP is free and clear?
The Wolf