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he made his decision, he’s going back to the cavs in Cleveland.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ”I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general…and all in the name of humor!”
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ”You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
make sure you not trying to reach a number that is not possible. also keep in mind that increasing your water is a great way to end a plateauJune 17, 2014 7:56 pm at 7:56 pm in reply to: Liberal way vs. keeping tradition and Law re to oo #1019915
“We sometimes though have a sweet tooth and we give in to our desire. A little in moderation is okay.”
that’s not ok – with torah and derech Hashem there is no giving in just a little and doing averios to satisfy our desires, everything we do needs to stem from the correct place.
Ein Gadi is very little hiking and a stunning view with nice water.
go sit in the local library or coffee house.
Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
you went from pits to pity – dropped the s
you just did it again you went from tan to art and dropped the n
ill fix it..
when you get to the point where no one can top your word you win.
plusingflower – you cant omit any letters.
that’s because your doing it wrong.
this is how it goes
you add a letter each time but can scramble the word up.
ill start :
13 hours a day plus 1.5 hours traveling.
marshalls and TX Max have some very nice colored long shirts and maxi dresses.
tznius is one of those things that you just got to jump in and do it all the way even if you don’t feel it yet then by listening to shirium u will start to feel it. its very hard to internalize it before you actauly do it. once u start u will feel so much better about and wont feel defensive from listening to a shiur.
tuni eye three
now your sounding like me…
I feel that one of the major issues are with the “jewish” clothing manufactures. since when are tight short bright colored skirts allowed, that is what the frum stores sell. when people shop in goyish stores they ask themselves if what they are buying is modest but when shopping in a frum store people assume its ok. that is not ok, a frum store should need a hechsher just like food does.
I did a good deed and did not feel the need to publicize it and get recognition. so that counts as 3 good deeds. the actual thing, that I didn’t share it and that I taught u a lesson in good deeds.
ok I was not clear enuf before lets say im friends with X and I got redt to her brother is it right if X nixes the idea because she thinks its awkward?
is it right for a sis to nix just cuz it would be awkward to be related to her friend
there is no need to b mean to him/her but we should use this thread as a reminder to not pry into others lives and to know that if u do they will change their names and tada u can b friends with them again.. I wish the real would was like that..
im not trying to sound mean but if you keep bashing us and trying to pull information out of us then you need to share first..that’s the way life works.
sorry but based on your response you definantly psycho-analyzed this whole conversation.
stop analyzing everything. if you feel this is wrong why don’t u use ur real name?
Somehow I think well all survive and live a lot happier by going behind pseudonyms.
8 days of a break can cause an 8 LB gain.. for someone who’s working really hard I cant afford that gain.
anyone have any healthy recipes that will keep my diet going over the rest of pesach?April 17, 2014 4:41 pm at 4:41 pm in reply to: If at first you dont succeed…. (Matzo Brei Tips Please!) #1066880
everyone needs to hold by their own rabbi and minhugim.April 17, 2014 1:32 pm at 1:32 pm in reply to: If at first you dont succeed…. (Matzo Brei Tips Please!) #1066878
do not soak the matzah in anything it will get soggy and taste gross…start frying your eggs and when they are almost done butter your matzah break it into small pieces and toss it to the frying pan. this way it will still be crunchy and tasty.
we have this amazing ice cream recipe which is egg and nut free.
you melt 2 bars of choc in a double boiler add 2 tbs. coffee dissolved in 4 tbs. hot water. add 3 TBS coffee/choc. liquor. mix for 5-10 minutes then let it cool for 10 minutes.
beat 16 oz. richers whip until stiff and fold in the choc mixture freeze. make a choc. cup to put the ice cream in by lining a plastic cupcake holder with choc. then drizzle with choc. liquor.
make yourself a goal in term of what you want to weigh after pesach and set aside a reward if you manage to keep to your goal. or punishment if you don’t make the goal. make sure the goal is realistic. like I will not gain more then 2 lbs. it can even be I wont eat any desserts, or I can have one dessert but then I need to go jogging for an hour.
dessert you can always do home made fruit ices those are always a treat if the weathers nice.
if I come across any egg free recipes I will let you know but that sure is hard!
I hope this one doesn’t offend anyone.
A college student walks down the road when he sees a beggar on the side of the street.
College Student (C): Hey mister! whatsup!
Beggar (B): Yea how you doin’…
C: So, how long have you’ve been a beggar?
B: It’s about eight years now kid..
C: WOW! Thats long time.. how much do you get per day?
B: Not that bad… about 250 bucks a day…
C: That’s enormous!
B: Yeah.. Enough for living my family..
C: Owch.. you got family too! Where are they now?
B: My wife’s dead. I got three children, one of them in Harvard University, one in MIT, and the other one went oversea, he goes to Oxford University…
C: *pause, surprised* That’s..that’s really great… So, when they’re gonna be graduated?
B: No kid… they’re not studying! They beg in there! just like me!!
I doubt the joke is actually true but the point is. im sorry if that bothers you.
do you have any good ones?
txting is way better then emailing, but calling someone shows that you really care about them… trust me I txt all the time.
bake for 45 minutes. we like it on the raw side and serve with ice cream as a desert or well done as a brownie
we have this awsm choc cake that is so easy and so good..my family was begging for samples last night.
1 cup oil
1 tsp. vanilla sugar
1.5 cups sugar
in a separate cup put 1/2 tsp. vinegar and 1 tsp. baking soda and stir until foamy add to first bowl
add 1/2 c. cocoa and 3/4 c potato starch
I’ve only been a member for a few days but I’ve been “lurking” for weeks now and read most threads from beginning to end. so joke all you want im up to speed.
here’s another good beggar one with a point!
Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friend’s act of generosity.
“What on earth did you do that for?” shouts Frank.
“You know he’s only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!”
Matt replies, “What…and we weren’t?”
their both the same thing.
sorry that you found it offensive, I just felt it was so true.
take your exact kisius of matzah at the start of the meal and don’t eat any extra throughout the meal. plus eat lots of fruit to balance it all out.
try to take as many walks or jogs as possible.
Saysme – your exactly right. I asked a rabbi once and he said its assur to do to those 3 jumps at the end of shmoneh esrie.
Jose and Carlos are beggars. They beg in different areas of town. Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects about $8.00 or $9.00 a day. Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day, he drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a lot of money to spend.
“Hey, amigo,” Carlos says to Jose, “I work just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?
Jose says, “Look at your sign, what does it say?” Carlo’s sign reads; “I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.” “What’s wrong with that?” Carlos asks him.
“No wonder you only get $8.00 or $9.00 a day!”
Carlo’s says, “All right, what does your sign say?” It reads, “I only need another ten dollars to get back to Mexico ….”
Two astronauts land on Mars. Their mission: to check whether there is oxygen on the planet.
‘Give me the box of matches,’ says one. ‘Either it burns and there is oxygen, or nothing happens.’ He takes the box, and is ready to strike a match when, out of the blue, a Martian appears waving all his arms… ‘No, no, don’t!’
The two guys look at each other, worried. Could there be an unknown explosive gas on Mars?
Still, he takes another match… and… A crowd of hysterical Martians is coming, all waving their arms: ‘No, no, don’t do that!’
One of the astronauts says: ‘This looks serious. What are they afraid of?
Nonetheless, we’re here for Science, to know if man can breathe on Mars’. So he strikes a match – which flames up, burns down, and…. nothing happens.
So he turns to the Martians and asks: ‘Why did you want to prevent us from striking a match?’
The leader of the Martians says: ‘It’s Shabbos, you idiot!’
reb – do you think anyone can understand what you wrote? or was it for your personal reading pleasure alone?
as long as the word is in English its not the end of the world if there’s a typo. but making up Yiddish words and spelling it wrong makes t completely impossible to read a post.