Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Please advise next time you go to the kever. Thank you
BYA is in Har nof
what do you think is appropriate if the boy and girl have stopped seeing each other and meet each other?
Shidduchim is a topic which occupies many peoples lives. The topics being discussed are of interest to them even if they are not always so informative.
Yes rocky it is completely ok to speak to friends but sometimes its difficult to really get a clear picture as well being that they are biased.
Maybe its because this is a serious thread
I’m assuming you are a girl in which case you don’t know whether they are tryin to suggest you to boys or not. Shadchanim cannot force a boy to give a yes. I would suggest you give them a friendly reminder to try to continue to work for you.
Can someone please give specifics about nachlas and peninim they both are not as well known as bnos chava, sora bjj etc.
I’d like to change the tone of this thread back to poppa’s topic. I fully agree with your sentiment no one is going to marry a girl for her looks. Guys want to feel like they connect well with a girl as a person and also want to her to be attractive. As was mentioned this is the teva that hashem created them with.
I also agree with the concept that girls should try to present themselves in the most appeasing way possible not only for dates but also in their everyday life. I think its important for people to be concious of how they present themselves to others. You don’t have to shop at sacks to look presentable.
Even if their story was 100% legit they had no right going on national television being depicted as orthodox jews suing over a religious item which the rest of the world has no idea about. I don’t know who was guiding them in this process but I’m sure a rav was not consulted before agreeing to go on the show. Furthermore they had extremely weak evidence going into the case. Its probably not so difficult to determine if the wig was made of sythentic or human hair and assess a price based on that but they would never go so far on these types of shows and generally its the plaintiffs responsibility not the judges!
Maybe someone can clarify something? Does the torah forbid mishkav zachor for goyim?
MW13: If it would be a tznius issue it wouldn’t change after marriage. Personally I don’t understand what the issue can be?
Some parents can’t afford that type of compensation just for a 2nd date! And then do the shadchanim expect full compensation if the couple gets engaged? I do agree with the concept of compensation but more as a token of appreciation and not a bribe. Around $100-150 for a 4th date seems appropriate. It generally means that it was a decent try. A 2nd date doesn’t mean too much.
I think thats a great idea hope the mods are reading this!
simchafan I think this is a great idea and actually tried starting a thread simmilar to this before. Problem is the mods don’t allow people to post email addresses or phone numbers of shadchanim so I’m not sure if youre going to get too much info.
Heres another angle to understand where people are coming from: Consider a prospective shidduch where the boy/ girl is coming from a broken home but didn’t negatively affect the child. As we all know the first few years of marriage the parents of the children are heavily involved and the newlywed has to become aclimated to a not-so-ideal family situation. Shouldn’t that be a concern for a parent with a child in shidduchim? Simmilarily, a parent is concerned about their child becoming aclimated with non-religious relatives etc. I think thats very understandable
Frumlady your story is very painful and I’m sure it mustve been even before painful to write. Whether it is correct or not the stereotyping that exists in shidduchim will not go away. I heard from a rav say that in todays dor because it may harder than previously, we have to do more hishtadlus than before. Since you face the extra challenge try to network with more shadchanim, friends etc. Iyh your daughter should find her true bashert bikarov!
Thank you didu for bringing up such an important topic. Although I agree that its incorrect to write off a shidduch simply because the parents are bts I do think it brings up more for consideration: Two points which are critical which were already mentioned are having non-frum relatives and the difficulties it brings as well as the parents orientation to shidduchim in the frum society.
But I also believe its possible that althought the bt parents raised their children to be frum there still can be differences in a childs upbringing between the bt parents and the ffb parents. Certain hashkafos and ideas can really only be transmitted from birth and are very hard to explain to bts to become accustomed with. I’d esspecially be concerned if it was the parents oldest child.