Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Top nine Most Common Visiting Day Sightings at any Jewish Summer Camp
9. Completely staged cleanliness – clothing folded, beds made, bunks Pesadick
8. That camp alumni-fanatic who comes back every year, though now in his 40’s, still wearing the same skin tight camp t-shirt.
7. A golf-cart driving way too fast to address a “serious emergency”; meaning either some item was found with an unreliable hechsher in the canteen, or major camp donor accidentally found his way into messy room.
6. Family having picnic made up of tin-foil shabbos leftovers setup adjacent to Family with tuna sandwiches from Subway
5. Walmart gets free advertising!
4. Jewish Mothers who, by the end of the day, have begun accosting strangers and staff members with the line, “You look very familiar..Are you a Goldberg?”
3. The one kid whose parents didn’t visit, will probably be in therapy for the rest of his life because of it.
2. The over-the-top food package, with enough Pringles cans and water bottles to end starvation in Africa.
-We could certainly slow the aging process if it had to work its way through congress.
-I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon, then it’s time for my nap.
-Money can’t buy happiness, but it does bring a more pleasant form of misery.
-By all means marry. If you get a good spouse you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
-The only reason people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.
-Intelligence is when you spot the flaw in your boss’s reasonning.
Wisdom is when you refrain from pointing it out.
-We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
-Politics is like inflation. The more we have of it, the more things cost.
– A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove you don’t need it.
-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
-The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
-I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
-Caution – I was not hired for my disposition
-In a world without walls and fences, who needs Windows and Gates
-hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
-The best revenge is to live long enough to be a nuisance to your kids.
A woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests.
She told her Rabbi she had one final requests.
She wanted to be buried in Bloomingdales.
“Bloomingdales!” the Rabbi exclaimed. “Why Bloomingdales?”
“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”
Hi guys I am going to be poping in whenever i can my relative is not well and I have been very busy dealing with the situation!
open book,kapusta and ames-Thanks!
Kapusta and ames thanks for being my best friends!
ames-you are the best!
Moish- Happy Birthday!May you have many more years until 120 of much mazel,brocha,hatzlacha and safe driving-lol!
, I can only try , Darchei Noam,mepal, and YWN Mod 72-
Thank you all for your brochos to me and for your well wishes!
ames-no offense-maybe I’m a little technologically challenged when it comes to the coffee room but how do i open my present- what’s the code?THanks!What keys do I have to press!I loved the balloons and the gift-Thanks! everyone has really made my day!
Mazel tov!
wow ames you thanks you are really spoiling me-LOL!That has to be one of the coolest birthday gifts I have ever received!Thanks for being such a great friend!
Jax why must the espionage be stopped?
ames, Jax and YWN mod 72-Thank you very much for all of your happy birthday wishes!
Jax- a belated Happy Birthday-I also think that it is cool that our birthdays are a day apart-May you have many more happy and healthy birthdays filled with much mazel, brocha, and Hatzlacha till 120!
ames-Thank you for the lovely birthday surprise!
Since today is my Hebrew birthday and it is brought down that a person has special kochos on their birthday- especially to give brochos- so here goes:
May Hakadosh Boruch Hu give everyone in the YWN coffee room and all of Klal Yisroel only much brocha, haztlacha, and mazel in everything that they do!
May Hakadosh Boruch Hu give everyone in the YWN coffee room and all of Klal Yisroel whoever needs to find their zivug- should find their zivug hagon bezman karov meod!
May Hakadosh Boruch Hu give everyone in the YWN coffee room and all of Klal Yisroel lots of children who are all healthy and well biruchniyus u vgashmius!
To all thos are awaiting a Yeshua may Hakadosh Boruch Hu send you your Yeshua right away!
May Hakadosh Boruch Hu give everyone in the YWN coffee room and all of Klal Yisroel lots of parnosa bederch uvayin yaffe!
May Hakadosh Boruch Hu give everyone in the YWN coffee room and all of Klal Yisroel only besuros tovos,aimchas, yeshuos and nechomos!
May everyone in the YWN coffee room and all of Klal Yisroel never know of anymore pain!
May this month the month of Sivan be the month that Hashem will bring the Geulah!
“Viyimalei Hashem kol meshalos leibecha/Libchem letovah”
(May Hashem answer all the desires/tefilos of your heart for the good)
Thanks ames!
Attention My YWN Coffee room family My hebrew birthday IY”h will be on this coming up wensday!
Is there anything wrong with that?
If I will ever find out that a boy that I was dating is dating another girl the same time as me i would dump him.This is because it is not right! How can you focus your attention and feelings on one girl when he is busy dealing with his feeling about a diffrent girl!Despite the fact that we have a shidduch crisis and there are “more girls the boys” I am not a piece of meat for sale.I am not a cow for sale.I personally feel it is an aveirah, and the boy who double dates will be over geneivas daas-I think he is intersted in me and he pretends to be, but he likes someone else at well!If you feel that boys should double date-which no good can come out of it other then agmas nefesh and heartache-then how about girls double dating? How would your son feel if I was dating him 6 diffrent boys at once? How would he feel?I feel double dating goes against everything we stand for as yiddin!We don’t date to date like the goyim do-we date for a purpose to get married and not to make peole go around in circles!Goyim double date and do all sorts of things thats why most of them are not married!We as yiddin do things diffrently!
The man to call his name is Rabbi Daniel Mechanich
ames I’m right with you there.Although I fell people including myself-need to carry this middah beyond the coffee room.We need to take the middah with us whenever we deal with others.
There is a person that I have heard of that is very helpfull in dealing with at-risk,OTD, or people who have problems with their emunah!
attention mods
; if he is known publicly and will not mind being known as he is well known may I say his name-the man that deals with OTD people?
Yeshivish car bumper sticker-Warning can explode at any moment!
KApusta I’m here my friend.
I am sorry the coffee room is going to have to put up with me coming and going! This is due to the fact that a relative of mine is not well and I have to help more at home! However I will pop in whenever I can!I would just like to personally thank everyone in the coffee room for being there, for helping to put a smile on my face, and for helping me take my mind off things! Thanks!
Folks you won’t belive it but i have just one the ‘U.K.” lottery!
-Work harder millions on welfare depend on you
-Pay someone a compliment while it’s still tax free
-Don’t drive faster then your gaurdian angel can fly
A very happy birthday to you MOD 39-
You should have only much mazel,hatzlacha , brocha, and nachas in the future!
May Hashem grant you many more healthy and happy birthdays until 120 I”YH!
“Viyimaleh Hashem Kol meshalos lebecha letova”
When I was in school one of my teacher(a rebbe/rabbi) told us a long time ago everyone use to pronounce everything OH and then the Perushim came along and they were vrey makpid on a lot of things like dikduk so then we changed the havarah from oh -> oy
we wanted to show that we are nothing like the perushim so we now-the men pronounce it as Oy-it is really Oh-if you go to a yekkee shul I belive that they pronounce everything/ lot of words as OH!
happy birthday jr. 72! you should have only much mazel,hatzlacha and brocha in the future!May Hashem grant you many more birthdays until 120 I”YH!
“Viyimaleh HAshem Kol meshalos lebecha letova”
Are we doing english birthdays or only hebrew?
My birthday is coming up very soon!
YW Modererator and ames- Thank you! I put up the chola’s name on the YWN’s tehilim list!
I would like to apologize to the YWN coffe room oilam! I was unable to get a dvar torah due to the fact that a relative of mine is unfortunatley not well I will bli neder try to work on it and I will get back to you-the mods- on when I will be posting a Dvar Torah!
JAx-
Basyisroel 2 reporting for duty!
What is on the agenda!
A Jewish boy come home from school and tells his mother he’s been given a part in the school play. “Wonderful? What part is it?” The boy says, “I play the part of the husband.” The mother scowls and says, “You go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”
So , You wanted a Kosher Computer
I don’t know if you know this but they are now selling Kosher computers (Made in Israel) called DELLSHALOM. It is selling at such a good price that I bought one. Mine arrived yesterday.
If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you should know that there are some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:
The cursor moves from right to left.
It comes with two hard drives–one for fleyshedik business software and one for milchedik games.
Instead of getting a “General Protection Fault” error, my PC now gets “Ferklempt.”
The Chanukah screen savers include “Flying Dreidels”
The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
The “Start” button has been replaced with “Let’s go!! I’m not getting any younger!” button.
The multimedia player has been renamed to “Nu, so play my music already!”.
When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud “Oy Gevalt”
There is a “monitor cleaning solution for Pesach” from Manishevitz
After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes “Schloffen.”
Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
The Y2K problem has been replaced by “Year 5761-5762” issues.
If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed manner, the following message appears: “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
When Spellcheck finds an error it prompts “Is this the best you can do!
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday,
and it said I needed an upgrade.
-A Jewish telegram: “Start worrying. Details to follow.”
-A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
-Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair.
Hi everyone BY2 is back reporting for duty!I am all test burnt out!
I don’t think that I can look at a test the same way again-LOL!
Everybody put on some music and smile because today is Lag Baomer!
Happy Lag Baomer to everyone(can you say that?!)!
PS. no shooting arrows in the coffee room!
ames-
My friend i am so sorry that I mised your birthday!
Well here is a message for you-
Happy belated birthday!May Hakadosh Boruch Hu shower on you all the Brachos that you have wished on everyone else!May you have many many more happy and healthy birthdays till 120 IYH.
“Viyimalei Hashem kol meshalos lebecha letova”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
BAs yisroel is back and exahusted!I missed my Cr family!I am all test burnt out ! I need to get away!
It’s lag baomer turn up your music and dance!
anonymisss-“I suffer terribly, though from cr addiction”
Oh tell me about it!LOL!
I’m gonna call it a night folks I have got finals this whole week -I hope and pray that I will pass!
I may not be on the YWN Coffee Room till next week Tuesday!So I want to give everyone the heads up before anybody starts panicking that I left!
Everyone have a wonderfull shabbos!
To all those that are taking Finals/tests like myself Hatzlacha Rabbah and may you pass your Finals/Tests with flying colors!
See you all IY”H on Tuesday!
anonymisss-
I know the answer is about the mets
I was refering in my previous post to when you said “BY, good answer” – Which B”Y?
, BYM and I agreed That people should specify to whom they are posting to otherwise it gets to complicated!
Kapusta on the other hand refers to me as B”Y which is fine!
You can post whatever you want I just wanted to know who you were refering to!
anonymisss-
I wish that I could cill the way you think I can! I haven’t shopped in a mall since before Pesach!
All of these research papers for college make me starving, so latley-especially now-which is around final season I eat, work,eat,work,work, and some more work!LOL!
I motivate myself to do my work -by telling myself when x amount of work is done then I can go into the CR!
YWN mod -72
I am busy with college work but I will try and and aim for next Friday-i will bli neder give you the heads up in this thread!If you cld pls tell me in which thread to post the Dvar Torah?
it goes here:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/ywn-coffee-room-nightly-dvar-torah
thanks. YW Moderator-72
Jax-what do you mean that I just nominated myself? I don’t get it?It must be the time of day!
I don’t want to take away some choshuv member’s Dvar Torah giving spot!
Kapusta-of course we are still friends why wouldn’t we be?
YWN moderator 72-If it’s o.k. with you and the CR oilam I will ask my father for a Dvar torah for next week Friday not this Friday but next week! Thanks- Please post back and tell me if that’s o.k. with you!
Jax-
ames: HELLO! You’re not breaking it over smoking! You’re breaking it over deception and manipulation!
very well said, perfect!
how can a marriage start, when he’s lying from day # 1 !?!!???
Well guys how about benchwarmers-boys who lie they say that they are learning when they are not!
Now a lot of people lie about that!
Let me tell you something that it is one of the most disheartining things in shidduchim!It creates one of the biggest Chilulie Hashem!
If you know of a boy who is not really learing(pretending) you need to ask a sheila how to answer this question with regard to shidduchim, Don’t give the answer in which we can all read through “He is a real bal kishron”!A person may have the talent for something but may not actually doing it!
A person may know how to learn- very well in fact-but that dosen’t mean that he is!
lkwdfellow-
Read my post above I answered your question exactly!
One of my friend’s parents had this issue when they got married.My friend’s father use to smoke her mother told him that it’s either me or the ciggarets!He choose my friend’s mother!
I will not date a guy that smokes! If he smoked once or twice in his life but promises to never try a ciggaret again then I will be willing to go out with him!
I know everyone says that guys who are heavy smokers get shidduchim-no they don’t-not unless their friends cover up and lie for them!
Basicly if you wanna get married don’t smoke!You will save yourself a lot of unnecessary trouble!
anonymisss
Well guess what i am in also in College, I work full time and I have a life!.This idea is not for every day, but for on occasion!
lkwdfellow-
with the case you mentioned above-I feel that if they found out that he has been smoking he will have to PROMISE to his kallah that he will quit otherwise..
Who ever is going to be giving a dvar Torah every dat hatzlacha rabba!
YW Moderator-72
no joke I think that I won from there to!
Yw mod-72-What did I warn you and the rest of the fellow cr members-you will recieve at least two a week/month I have had the unfortunate zechus of “winning the Asian, Irish,microsoft,Indian, and African lottery”-
Boy it’s hard being fake rich!
-I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
-What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers?
anonymisss
right there with you I always have mint sugar free gum on me! I also always eat three meals a day otherwise I will es and fress the whole day!
The best trick is to go shopping in a mall that has very little kosher food!When I go to the mall I end up spending almost the whole afternoon/day theer so I am not hungry/don’t have time to eat,I have to go shopping -so when I come back from the mall I am starving and I end up eating one big thing instead of 15 big things!
an open book
Thanks for clarfying that for me!Sorry for the mix up?
where is shkoyach, or Mrs. Beautiful?
Bais yaakov maydel this is why
anonymisss
said BY, good answer!
The question is which one?
John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 am. While his coffee pot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (made in MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL), poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can’t find a good paying job in AMERICA.
AND NOW HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT MADE IN KENYA
an open book
– Yes I did read the posts but people have been mixing up other peole’s names so it’s confusing!
kapusta said that”BYM, also engaged, probably getting married soon” so I asked kapusta about BYM I know that curious is engaged.Anyway I give all of those a bracha who are still
looking for their basherts may Hashem find you all your zivugim bekarov!