Forum Replies Created
To the new mod 77.I wish you much Hatzlacha on your new journey -you are going to need it.I would like to recommend that you bring a sword , sheild and a strong pot of coffee with you!!
I found this post and I thought that it was very funny!
Attention mods you can break this up and put it into 2 separate posts if it is too long to post! Thanks!
to dovid shmuel- I hear your point and you are right! However if you give teenagers boring Jewish music then they will look for it in the wrong places.I am not refering to teens who are at risk.But regular frum kids.Rather let people hear beaty music coming from a frum Jew than from a goy!
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I. ‘
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Bain hasedorim I agree with you to a point.Overall most girls are more mature than boys that is why a girl is bas mitzvah at the age of 12 and a boy is at the age of 13- not that all girls are so mature to begin with.The biggest problem with boys that I find is thir mothers.I get the most insane questions from them regarding my friends does she smoke,what size is she,what summer camps did her grandmother go to ect… Mothers of boys are only intersted in someone who is beautiful,yichus,big name out there,went to Seminary X, forever support and it makes me sick.My friend and myself only want erliche boys from erliche families but apparently they have been brainwashed by their mommies who are looking for a barbie doll with big yichus and money!Don’t tell me it’s not a most people because I have no idea where the normal boys and there mothers are hiding.You can’t win.One woman told my mother that she didn’t want her son to go out with a girl because she was too pretty-this is a normal erliche frum girl.People only want a Rosh Yeshiva’s daughter,billonare’s daughter.Why can’t people pick peole based opn their middos, their avodas Hashem as long as someone comes from a decent erliche family is open to chesed has simmilar goals and values.Why is our generation obsesssed with only the outer things!Don’t get me wrong a person has to be attracted to whom they marry, and marrying a rich person isn’t a bad thing.The problem lies with people’s priorities.What is the most imortant to them.Oh all the mothers who call me up want to know if the girl has good middos but they only dwell on the girl’s middos for a second, they spend more like a half an hour findidng out about the girl’s money,house and yichus.
ENOUGH is ENOUGH!
Middos , middos and some more middos.If the person is lacking in any which way in midos then drop them.
As general principle, Jewish holidays are divided between days on which you must starve and days on which you must overeat.
Many Jews observe no fewer than 16 fasts throughout the Jewish year, based on the time-honored principle that even if you are sure that you are ritually purified, you definitely aren’t.
Though there are many feasts and fasts, there are no holidays requiring light snacking.
Jews take the whole day off for holidays. This is because Jews, for historical and personal reasons, are more stressed out.
The Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays:
— More fasting
Feast for a week +
Hashanah Rabbah —- More feasting
Keep right on feasting
Month of Heshvan
No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Get a grip on yourself.
—- Eat potato pancakes
Tenth of Tevet
Do not eat potato pancakes
Fast of Esther
—- Do not eat pastry for a week
Dairy feast (cheesecake, blintzes, etc.)
17th of Tammuz
Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)
Serious fast (don’t even think about cheesecake or blintzes)
Month of Elul
End of cycle. Enroll in Center for Eating Disorders before High Holidays arrive again.
ames and yossi z. thank you for the welcome back!I am fine baruch Hashem!
Ames-there hasn’t been much improvement in my relatives condition, but thanks for asking! We are just davening!
Sorry everyone I’ve been busy with college and work.I just would like to wish all the YWN members, YWN editors and all of Klal Yisroel a Gemar Chasima Tova-May everyone have a year full of mazel,hatlocha,brochos and only simchos!
Welcome to the Repentance Hot Line. Your call is very important to us and is fully confidential. If calling in the Ten Days of Repentance, when G-d is closer than ever, this is a local call, instead of the usual long distance. Press #10 now.
“During this time, you will hear one long note, three short beeps, nine shorter beeps, and a long note. This series will repeat several times, followed by an extra-long final note at the end.
“Repentance calls for patience and persistence. If you do not get through the first time, try again. If you still do not get through, try again. At any time: Do not hang up!
“If you feel that you have reached us in error, this is the right place, for ‘to err is human, to forgive is Divine.’
“This call is being monitored audio-visually by, ‘The Eye that sees, the Ear that hears, and All your deeds are inscribed.’ At any time during your call, you may hear moving renditions of Avinu Malkenu, Kol Nidrei and other High Holiday melodies.
“For Ashkenazic pronunciation, bevakosho (please) press A. For Sephardic, bevakashah press S. Use any language, as long as it comes from the heart. Lip service is unacceptable. If you are not serious, please hang up, try pressing ‘return’ and call back again.
“To review your annual balance, here are some helpful numbers:
“For Mitzvot in general, press #613. For a positive commandment, press #248. For a negative commandment, press #365. Regarding rabbinic laws use extension 7.
“For Teshuvah, press 1, for Prayer press 2, and for Charity 3… to remove the bad decree. You may Press 1 for Echad, M to ask for Moshiach. Press transgressions. Are you sure you want to delete your transgressions at this time?
“If you sinned against another party, contact them first, and call back after they forgive.
“If you sincerely regret past transgressions, but don’t know where to begin, consult the Yom Kippur prayer book’s alphabetical Al Chet directory. Use right hand to press pound at each listing. Thanks to our special Teshuvah advantage program, all your debits have been turned into credits.
“All transfers to charity are credited to your account. Enter pledge now. Press #18 to contribute multiples of Chai.
“May you be inscribed for a good New Year. Thank you, and please call again
Big Mazel Tov to anonymiss and anonymr and to kapusta on her driving!
there is no issur for a girl who is in shidduchim or a kallah to wear makeup .Or any one else for that manner as long as it is refined.If in your circles you don’t wear makeup then fine.
aames i’m not hogging all the chips my friend here have some!
jax thanks for redirecting me here I haven’t been in the coffee room for awhile!I didn’t even know about the general shmooze forum!
I wonder to what chashuv occasion did we(ames, jax, and myself) recieve a visit from the YWN Editor himself on the post that your here forum!?
We better tone the party down a little!
ames I could cry I’ve been working all asummer school(college) and work! I need a vacation from a so called vacation!I’m glad that you and Jax are having fun in the sun!
BBQ yum I’ll bring some salds, french fries and dessert! It’s partee time ames and jax! I think the whole world has gone to sleep!
I won’t be bringing any frozen drinks- (ames the moshe exploding beer joke)!
ames LOL that is why you and I make such a good team as they say “Great minds think alike”
basyisroel2 checking in for duty-
a bit of free time! Shout out to my friend ames!
hello Jax!I guess it’s just you, ames, the mods and myself!
girls are not piecies of property! However mothers of boys feel powerfull when they know they have girls at their sons beck and call.Mothers of boys love shiduchim when they are in the drivers seat-ONLY BECAUSE WE ALLOW THEM TO BE!
A new rule: Call up boy’s mother:
Shadchan” I have a shidduch for your son”..
Mother of boy:”Who is she…”?
Shadchan:” I am sorry but I have to ask do -you have names of other girls or is your son busy with something.When your son has no names or stops being busy give me a call and then I will tell you the girls name”
To mepal, lgbg, nooseisko mazel tov, may the YWN coffee room be zocheh to see many more simchas!
We should ban boys from having lists.How does it help shidduchim if girls names are getting recycled over and over?!
As someone who is in the parsha, if anyone really wants to help THEN REDT SHIDDUCHIM.
Coming up with statistics that there are more girls than boys doesn’t solve anything!We all know those statistics already!
Putting girls in a freezer surves no purpose1July 28, 2009 4:20 am at 4:20 am in reply to: Pet Peeves; A Little Negativity, But a Lot of Fun! #997255
I get very annoyed at people who double or triple park, or those who block off the road while everybody else just sits there in their cars!
I cannot stand people who are inconsiderate of others!July 28, 2009 4:17 am at 4:17 am in reply to: Pet Peeves; A Little Negativity, But a Lot of Fun! #997254
mod I think its a Monsey thing! I had about fifteen people trying to hitch -running after my car as I was driving !
Happy birthday and many more til 120 I”YH!
May Hakadosh Baruch Hu shower you with much mazel brocha and hatzlacha!
Yes thanks great job Mods!
ames my friend I am so glad that you were not hurt!
One thing that made my day: a man pushing a full wagon insisted that i go ahead of him as I was only carrying 2 items!
Another thing: I saw a Rav close the garbage cans of a stranger after the garbage men had so carelessly strewn them around!
Mi keamcha Yisroel!
I have done some classes online.You have to be extremley motivated!
I believe that Empire might be able to be done online.
Most colleges in your area will have online classes.My suggestion to you would be to call up a college and ask them if you can get your B.A. online through them.
A rubber band was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption
Building the ark
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: “In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind ofliving thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark.”
And in a flash of lightning he delivered the specifications for an Ark. “OK,” said Noah, trembling in fear and fumbling with the blueprints. “Six months, and it starts to rain,” thundered the Lord. “You’d better have my Ark completed, or learn how to swim for a very long time.” And six months passed. The skies began to cloud up and rain began to fall.
The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard, weeping. And there was no Ark. “Noah,” shouted the Lord, “where is my Ark?” A lightning bolt crashed into the ground next to Noah.
“Lord, please forgive me!” begged Noah. “I did my best. But there were big problems. First I had to get a building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn’t meet code. So I had to hire an engineer to redraw the plans. Then I got into a big fight over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system. My neighbors objected, claiming I was violating zoning by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission.
Then I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the Spotted Owl. I had to convince U.S. Fish and Wildlife that I needed the wood to save the owls. But they wouldn’t let me catch any owls. So no owls.
Then the carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or a hammer. Now we have 16 carpenters going on the boat, and still no owls.
Then I started gathering up animals, and got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me taking only two of each kind. Just when I got the suit dismissed, EPA notified me that I couldn’t complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn’t take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being.
Then the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the Proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.
Right now I’m still trying to resolve a complaint from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission over how many Croatians I’m supposed to hire, the IRS has seized all my assets claiming I’m trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and I just got a notice from the state about owing some kind of use tax. I really don’t think I can finish your Ark for at least another five years,” Noah wailed.
The sky began to clear. The sun began to shine. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. “You mean you’re not going to destroy the earth?” Noah asked, hopefully.
“No,” said the Lord sadly, “Government already has.”
-The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:
“I’m the Boss!”
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
“Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”
-ceasar salad with grilled salmon on top
-pasta- boil up any kind of pasta you can use the tricolor ones, add sundried tomatos and parmesan cheese- mix well put in oven bake for a few minutes(you can add whatever other vegtables you want example: capers..)
-tuna patties with mashed potatos and salad
– Salad Nicoise-
/2 pound new potatoes, quartered
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley(optional)
1/4 cup pitted nicoise olives (any green olives)
1/2 onion, thinly sliced
1 (6 ounce) can tuna
1/3 pound fresh green beans – rinsed, trimmed and blanched
1/2 pound mixed salad greens(any lettuce is fine)
1 cup lemon vinaigrette (any salad dressing can work- balsamic vinaigrette is the best)
3 hard-cooked eggs, quartered
3 roma (plum) tomatoes, thinly sliced
1 tablespoon capers( optional)
Note: You can add your own vegies example, pepers , cucumbers ect. be creative the main parts of this salad are the lettuce, potatoes, tuna, green olives,tomatoes..
1.Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add potatoes, and cook until tender but still firm, about 15 minutes. Drain and cool.
2.In a large bowl, combine the potatoes, parsley, olives, onion, tuna and green beans. Refrigerate for 2 to 4 hours.
3.In large bowl, toss greens with vinaigrette and top with chilled potato mixture. Garnish with eggs, tomatoes, capers…
you are a billion percent correct! However coming from the girls side I’m not accusing anyone I just would like to know from a boy’s perspective how you would feel about a few things that bother me:
1.What is up with boy’s mother’s asking what size the girl is- who cares you can have a skinny girl that wears a big size and a fat girl that wears a small size, as long as the person appears to be neat,slim and put together-maybe we should start asking what size pants is the boy!
2.Why do boy’s have to see girl’s pictures, it is kosher for boy’s mothers and boys themselves-to see the picture but why isn’t it kosher for a girl’s mother or a girl to ask to see the boy’s picture?
Welcome to the YWN coffee room I’d advise you to get a sheild and sword
Welcome to the YWN coffee room I’d advise you to get a sheild and sword!
I’m sorry i wasn’t trying to come down hard on you.You seem like a nice person.However I was just stating some unpleasant facts!July 16, 2009 1:49 pm at 1:49 pm in reply to: Lakewood – Getting Accepted Into Girls High Schools #650959
Are you a mathmatecian or do you do survey’s of populations in your free time?!
Happy Birthday and many more till 120!
“Viyemalei Hashem kol Meshalos lebecha letova”
May Hakadosh boruch Hu bentch you with gezunt,Mazel,Health , brocha,Hatzlacha and whatever you wish yourself till 120!
you mised my point why keep on giving boys thousands of names you just make more girls to wait around.the mother of the boys know that they have the upper hand so they will take years to look into all the girls.These people wouldn’t be so high and mighty if their sons didn’t have a thousand names.the point is to try and lessen the upper hand.You have to look at reality.Reality-easier for boys so why on earth do we make it even harder for girls and easier for boys .why are you offering three thousand girls to the mother of the boy.it should be a rule you can’t look in to more than a few at a time.It is disgusting that we have fallen so low that to get a date you have to be on some royal highnesses list.We girls should start having lists and we should start being picky then perhaps no boys would have an equal time in shidduchim as the girls!
you said “What the shaddchan is supposed to do, is instead of rolling down a list 1st,
is to ask what type of girl is your son looking for? Not too loud not too quiet?
then on his list should omit from metioning girls A & C & redt Girl B”
Yes you should omit.you said so yourself that the tachlis of dating is to get the right person in our case mention the right person.How in the world does redting a thousand girls serve that purpose?The only purpose it serves is to blow up boy’s and their mothers egos who all need to get off of their high trojan horses and face reality!A few girls doesn’t mean a thousand! why on earth do mother’s of boys harbor names?
I understanding redting a few but lists?! That should be banned! I am sorry if you disagree but as someone who is has made shidduchim I see only flaws in boys having a lists no good can come out of it.
You have to put yourself in someone else’s shoes! I am sure that you like the list after all your a boy who wouldn’t be happy if they had the whole world running after them!
Lists serve no purpose.Girls are just degradaded,humilated and dragged through the mud!
Maybe I should get a list of boys from all over and start rating them!
LOL! You put Liquor in ur coffee!I hope you saty off the roads.I personally love Starbucks coffee freshly brewed it is very strong and has a wonderfull smell!
Happy Birthday and many more till 120.”Viyemalei HAshem kol Meshalos lebecha letova”
A belated Happy to you-
May HAkadosh boruch Hu bentch you with gezunt,Mazel,Health , brocha,Hatzlacha and whatever you wish yourselves till 120!
Mazel Tov ambush, May you have many more simchas!
you are a billion percent right.
It makes sense.if you have options then you can choose.if you only have one then you can only deal with that one.Which is why in my opinion that the one thing that is contributing greatley to the shidduch crisis is the lists.
My friends who have brothers in the parsha and shadchanim that my family knows described the boys list scenerios to me.
Most(not all) boys have lists of girls names.Their mothers find out which girls are the richest, prettiest and compare and which ever one is the best catch in their mind .And all the other girls fall to the waste side( yes I know that if Hashem wants some one to get married he will find a way but why do we have to be the cause of someone not getting married right away we don’t have to be the shaliach of that- “Megalgilin Zechus al yedei Zakai vechova al yedei chayav)These other girls get -excuse me for a better lack of words – “recycled”.
WE NEED TO PUT A STOP TO BOYS HAVING LISTS!
As a shadchan when you call up a boy tell his mother I have an idea for your son and ask her if she has any other names.If she says yes then tell her when you are done with those then call me up and I will be glad to give you this girl’s name.What is the point of adding another girls name to a boy that already has girls just so that she becomes another girl to compare to.This isn’t a cattle market.You are dealing with people.You are dealing with yiddishe neshamos!And belive it or not a lot of girls find out who they are being redt to.And these girls sit and pray that one boy will say yes to them.They and their parents sit by the phone and cry every night! These ridiculous lists are destroying people!The lists make some boy’s balei gavah,their mothers ask ridiculous questions because they can’t choose between the “rich girls” and “they all sound the same”, it makes girls cry that they are not good enough!Girls don’t have lists -good girls go months with out having one date!
Is this what Hashem wants?! Is this the way we build a bais neeman! Do you think that by making people cry Hashem will bring bracha?!
By making people cry do you think that the Bais Hamekdash will be built any faster? I don’t think so!
Klal Yisroel has suffered enough!
By shlomo hamelech they lost the milchamos because Klal Yisroel wasn’t beachdus- and they were a dor of Tzaddikim.And by Achav who was a rasha they won their milchamos because they were achdusdik.When there is achdus Hashem brings Bracha! Perhaps in the zechus of us helping to take away other people’s pain or try to prevent someone else’s pain, Hashem will look down on us and see our pain in galus and bring the Geulah bemhaira veameinu amen!
I have heard of people breaking off engagment for money reasons-it’s preety sad!
New Year’s Resolutions for peopel who are addicted to YWN coffe room…
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily…well, once a week… okay, monthly then…or maybe…
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.
When I hear “Where do you want to go today?” I will not reply “MS Tech Support.”
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL… LOL!”
I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than “password.”
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning… 6:30 is much more practical.
I resolve… I resolve to… I resolve to, uh… I resolve to, uh, get my, er…
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
I will don’t mind bringing the coffee and doughnuts!
MAZEL TOV YWN Coffe room and to all its members for making the YWN CR the best place to be at odd hours-lol!
If i were you I would check into why did the boy break his engagment BEFORE i would agree to date him.This is because there may be emotional issues that you may not be aware of, and you do not want to be the rebound girl!
Also once you start dating a person you become emotionally involved and if there really is an issue it’s going to be very hard for you to stop seing the person! That is why it’s best to find out whatever you can before the date!
Hi there mepal ! I missed you guys busy with school baruch Hashem my relative is doing a bit better so I have a bit of breathing time here!
MAzel tov PM and to your wife and your future established minyan!
Joseph- you said
“bein hasdorim, why is it preferable to prevent the girl from being turned down (rather than the guy)? Is it the emotional issue”
That is because the average bochur has alot more girls being redt to him while the girls aren’t getting redt to as many boys.So if one girl says no to him then he just moves on to the next girl.Boy’s have lists girls don’t unless they are super rich and have the whole world running after them!
I know personally of cases where after the boy gives a yes to a girl, while the girl is checking into the boy, the boy is busy looking into other girls so he has “other girls for backup”
I heard that swiss air has good food, and when I flew El Al had the best kosher snacks-edible crackers and pretzels!
There was a student that made a lot of problems in class; he fought with classmates, made a lot of noise
The teacher tried a lot of things, but nothing helped.
Father: What do you want me to do?
Teacher: Maybe take him for a check-up.
Father: How is that going to help?
Teacher: Maybe the child should take Ritalin (a calming drug).
Father: How am I going to get this Ritalin?
Father: Who is going to remember to give it to the child every day in a house full of children?
The father agreed to the plan. Every morning the teacher prepared the pill next to the coffee machine and went into class. After a few minutes the child would come in with the coffee, and everything went fine.
ames that sounds like fun.I am seriously considering art lessons!
kapusta I posted some humor just for you!