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Yeah Mod i guess i can. My mother in law was like that till i won her over and she saw i wasnt taking her son away from her! But still its sad to see so many unhappy people when they can just think about it and see theres no reason to feel like that. (Well in most cases theres no reason!)
Mod 80 but why?? Doesnt every mother want their son to get married and be happy? They go crazy to find good shiduchim for them and only pick THE BEST girl so WHY do they resent that girl?????????? I have 2 amazing daughter in laws and when i see how happy they make my sons i love them even more. Because of some messed up logic i should resent that the’re making my boys so happy?? Do i want them to make them miserable? Then why work so hard to marry them off in the first place??
I think the main reason that there is friction between mother in laws and daughter in laws is because there is sooooo much talk about it you get married and automatically expect things to be like that. The minute a couple gets engaged the jokes start. Ive been to so many sheva berachot where the speeches are mother in law jokes! Im not saying all mother in laws are perfect but at least give them a chance!
My husband is a Rav in a community where 80 percent of the town is Jewish but the majority arent shomer shabbat (well they keep it in their own way). Alot of them drive to shul. Walking home from shul on shabbat we always have that problem. If they see us crossing not only do they stop to let us cross, some of them open their windows to say shabbat shalom, and one of them even stopped, backed up, parked, and got out to come say shabbat shalom in person. (Dont even want to think how many aveirot that is). It really is a big problem.
AinOhdMilvado Im just curious not arguing here. Where do you keep it that it is easily accessable and yet still safe. If you keep in in a closet high up behind everything in a locked box if C”V there is a breakin how is there time to get it? And if its within reach nearby isnt that too accessable?
I dont think anyone would be foolish enough to bring a gun into their home for no reason. If someone needs it for safety purposes or for their job thats different. But there are safety measures that haveto be taken when keeping it at home.
What does being Jewish have to do with it?
Sacrilege anyone who raises 7 of anything deserves to go straight to Gan Eden!
elipse do the 7 boys haveto be in a row? I have 7 boys and i think anyone who raises 7 boys whichever order they come in definately deserves to go straight to Gan Eden!!!
aries i know that is written somewhere dont remember where though
My husbands been doing it for 26 years and it still makes me crazy. I put a second clock in our room which is “my clock” with the RIGHT time but i still get crazy from his!
Imanonov lol!
Blinky i heard that one too! If you drink the Havdalah wine you grow a beard. And however high you hold the Havdalah candle thats how tall your chosson will be.
Is it called superstitious? Whatever its called my mother was very into it! Definately the gum one! And the one where if someone stepped over you you would stop growing! The worst was if you walked in your socks C”V something terrible would happen. We would jump all over the house if we couldnt find our shoes I once took a step in my socks by mistake and i couldnt sleep that night i was so scared. But maybe that does have a source. I dont know.
WIY that apology was very big of you. You didnt mean any harm sometimes things are just taken differently than you meant it to be. Let us all take a lesson from this. Nobody is out to get anybody here. We’re all here to express our opinions on the topic at hand. Nobody means to hurt anyone else. If you do feel strongly about something then say what you think just dont put anyone else down in the process. I think if we work on that a lot more of us will feel comfortable to post knowing we wont get slapped down for our opionions. Slap down the topic not the person!
Eclipse im so happy to see you posting again! Welcome Back!
WolfishMushing i am so sorry! You are right now that im reading it back it sounds terrible! Chas V’sholom i didnt mean to sound like the Shulchan Oruch isnt applicable anymore. What was ok in those times doesnt always work now. Im sure in those times it was different for a Rebbe to tap a child on the wrist with a strap. But from what ive seen having kids in Yeshivos for the last 25 years any incident involving hitting a child was not done out of love.
blueprints i hear what you’re saying. Unfortunately nowadays not all teachers hit with that in mind. Most of them that do hit dont do it out of love to teach the child they do it out of anger. I had a principal hit my son and it was done with such anger he slammed him in the head and his head slammed into a metal locker. He was so dizzy the bus driver had to practically carry him onto the bus. The bus driver saw the whole thing and he flipped out. He couldnt believe thats what went on in Jewish schools. He said if we werent going to sue then he would report the principal himself! We convinced him that it was not normal and those kind of things dont happen in jewish schools, but we took all of our boys out of that school real fast! That is NOT being mechanech a child. That is child abuse.
Trying My Best: I dont think that Shulchan Oruch is applicable nowadays. Anyone that hits a child with a belt is going to have that child and all the rest of their children taken away from them. Social Services isnt very big on straps.
Never, Ever, Ever. Nobody should ever lift a hand to anyone elses child i dont care who he is. Rebbe, counselor, anyone. Never. My father had a counselor who slapped him on the side of his head he busted his eardrum. Even after numerous surgeries he was never able to hear with that ear again.
Yes it does work Sean Ben Noach. Smiling and saying hello to someone you pass shouldnt make a difference if they are jewish or not. Its such a small effort on your part to just smile and wish someone a nice weekend but it really does mean alot. The lady in the post office or the guy thats puts gas in your car. It really does mean alot.
Monsey Review very well said!
I was just thinking this morning that maybe there is a way that we can know whos on in the CR. Sometimes i want to answer someones post from a few hours before i dont know if theyre even around to see it. Could there be a way we can somehow check in when we’re in the CR?
eclipse DO NOT let someones insensitve comments get you so upset. You dont know how inspiring your post was. I wasnt going to bring this up but i had more than one child that gave us nightmares like you wouldnt believe. Im talking major issues not just rebelious teenage issues. And even though sometimes all i wanted to do was just throw them out of the house or just give up somehow Hashem gave us the strength to go on. BH its years later and they are doing amazing and they all tell us the same thing. If it wasnt for the fact that we kept showing them that we love them and we still care for them despite all that was going on they never would have come out of it the way they did. And the friends that they had that didnt have that kind of support from their parents unfortunately didnt turn around. So keep strong and may you end up having much nachas from your daughter!
A woman outside bklyn: I totally agree with you. My husband is a rav in a shul that ten years back there was one woman who covered her hair there. I had just purchased a new wig and did spend the $3000.00 dollars on it which i agree is ridiculous but it was important for the women to see you can be religious and NOT look weird. A girl came over to me the first shabbat i was wearing it and told me if a wig can look like that she will cover her hair. And she did. And so did 20 other women. And yes they will only buy those expensive wigs because its important to them to look good in front of their family members who aren’t frum. Is it an avaira to wear an expensive wig? I don’t think so. Should it be $3000.00? i dont think so either but how can we change that? I guess its better than the $7500.00 one my friend bought from Ralf
eclipse that is beautiful. If all parents of teenage children have that outlook so many more of them would turn out better than they do.
Smartcookie where does it say that wigs that look like hair are assur? I thought the whole point was to cover your hair i dont know where it says make sure if you wear a wig it looks wiggy. Didnt know the whole point of covering your hair was to look ugly. Your husband sees you in your wig too doesnt he?
Im afraid to think of what would happen to this site without the mods. That time period where the posts were going through without moderation was a disaster! Sometimes we feel so strongly about some of the topics that are brought up we dont think before we write. Mods keep on Moderating!
WIY Its a very nice idea. Years ago we lived in Baltimore. It was the norm that when you passed someone in the street on shabbos you would say good Shabbos. If someone would walk by you without saying good Shabbos you knew they were from out of town. We still say good Shabbos when we pass people in the street but some of the looks we get from people in brooklyn are comical. It is a nice thing to work on though. It does make a huge difference not only to Jews but to non Jews as well.
BLN ill take 30-40. Anybody else out there??
It would be great if you could have Nechemia ben Bruria in mind hes in middle of a very complicated surgery right now.
Purple im sorry such a happy time is giving you so much concern. If there is something that you noticed that could be a big problem later on for example if he has a temper or something that could be a real issue discuss it with a Rav right away. If its just a personality issue that you dont like then let it go. But like mod 80 said NEVER let anyone know you arent happy about it. You arent going to be living with him if your daughter is happy thats the main thing.
BL”N I’ll do 11-20
Haifagirl whenever you get to your computer just let us know that youre ok. BH everyone should be ok
New2thescene: If youre still new to the scene welcome to the CR. If you do hear of anything let me know. If not maybe we can at least split the Tehillim amongst ourselves. Its really out of control there. Hashem Yerachem
cleverjewishpun thanx so much for your advice. I got a very good dvd that helped alot but id really love to take lessons. I used to play when i was i high school but its been a looooong time since then. Im going to look around and see if i can find someone. Thanx
Uh I have a beautiful guitar its a blond wood color works with either an amplifier or without one. Uh it comes in a stunning case. It cost me a major fortune because the guy in sam ash saw i had no idea what i was doing and took me for a ride. And as you can see i dont know the first thing about guitars but i really want to learn how to play. Do you know anyone in brooklyn who gives lessons?
Nobody could ever insult you mod 80 you work way too hard over here. And how can anyone insult someone that drives a super sport Veyron even if it is used!
We once won an Artscroll Shas which was really nice cause even though ive been organizing chinese auctions for years we never won anything. Then we won an ipod which was a hugh headache. Try splitting one ipod among 11 kids! Even my married ones were calling to claim it! But it was nice to win somethning for a change.
whatrutalkingabt: It would be amazing if we could have good times but do you think we would be able to say we actually grow from that? i cant see very many people saying “oh wow Hashem thanx for the amazing business deal You sent me today im going to be more careful with hilchot loshon hora and im going to try to concentrate on my davening more”. Unfortunately it takes a good “smack” to wake most of us up and get us to “grow”.
Reb Doniel i dont know what to say. What is most inspirational about your story is your outlook on what you’re going through. May Hashem give you a complete recovery and give you the strength to keep up your unbelievable emunah. My parents were divorced when i was very young my father remarried a few years later to a woman who made our lives a living hell. When i was 14 and i thought life couldnt get worse my father who was my whole world was killed. BH through some miracle i married an amazing guy. Then i got sick. Then i lost a baby. 14 major surgeries in the last few years made it harder to keep up my emunah and there were times when i can honestly say i wasnt at my best. The frustration after each one knowing it didnt work and that they had to try again really did get me down. But whatever we are going through if we look around us unfortunately there are people going through much worse. Yes surgery isnt fun but at least theres something the docotors can still try. I keep telling myself that and thats what keeps me going.
I tip the bus drivers, post man, etc. but I give it to them around New Years to avoid that issue of giving a holiday gift
Nisht Ahe your insurance company must love you! I have an ’02 Escalade which i love. I like the new Escalade even better but with 180,000 miles my old one is still going strong so im waiting it out. Hub has a lexus it has a really nice ride. The kids have a infinity as old as the hills but its serving its purpose.
I have 2 married and 2 single kids living in Israel and they are very far from spoiled. They arent living in Israel to “live it up”. The sacrifices they make to learn over there definately makes them “unspoiled”. And just btw supporting them in america is way more expensive than supporting them in E”Y.
I booked for December i guess January is a more expensive time. My mom went 2 weeks ago she got tickets for in the 600’s
Ive found Kayak.com to be the best for tickets to Israel. I just found tickets yesterday for $819.00 round trip with just a 2 hour stopover. Sometimes you can find for $600.00 depending on when you’re traveling.
I just paid $247.00!! And no i dont drive a Bentley!
Great idea thank you!
I have a BH wig and i love it. I got one for my daughter too its stunning. The hair is gorgeous and her prices are really amazing.
Rocking Horse Ranch is the Best!!!! Its geared for kids but my husband and I enjoy it just as much! Theres alot to do if you like outdoor fun.