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  • in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545840
    CS
    Participant

    No its not though. See the source printed above, and the Lubavitcher Rebbe pushed for true feminine expression in many ways. I could share stories.

    Granted since we’re still in golus, the feminine movement has allot of garbage mixed in, such as suggesting women should act like men, or women should embarrass/ dominate men. But that’s not real femininity. That’s women acting like men have been.

    However there definitely has also been a positive shift for appreciating feminine qualities in the world.

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545863
    CS
    Participant

    For example, in 1964, Dov Zlotnick ran a gemara shiur for the men in the neighbourhood. He told the Rebbe about his shiur shiur. The Rebbe asked what the women do. He said they prepare the seudas shlishis. The Rebbe said it’s not good enough. So from then on, he taught his wife the material and she taught it to the women.

    This isn’t to say the women told the men to make their own meal. They still prepared the seuda AND got to have their own shiur as well.

    Another example: as quoted elsewhere, the gemara says that a kosher wife does the will of her husband. The Rebbe pointed out that that’s fine and good when he husband wants good things. But what if the husbands desires aren’t in line with Torah? In that case, the gemara means osa – the woman has the power to create the desire of the husband. In a feminine nurturing encouraging way, they can change the husband to want what Hashem wants.

    One more for now: a chosson and kalla came to the Rebbe wondering if they should do the minhag of the chosson stepping on the kallas foot at the entrance to the yichud room to symbolise vhu yimshol bach.

    The Rebbe told them he shouldn’t because if he acts like a proper husband, she will happily allow him to head the home, and if he doesn’t, stepping on her foot is not going to help…

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545808
    CS
    Participant

    and that’s how the world ran- on a paradigm of domination. Doing Torah and Mitzvos wasn’t natural to the worldly environment- it imposed G-dliness on a seemingly unG-dly world.

    Nationalism meant who was going to conquer and subjugate the most nations. etc.

    The world is different today. It is much closer to the Geula paradigm than the golus one. Of course one can still choose to live in a golus mentality, but that is simply unfortunate.

    The question now changes to instead of who should dominate? to which the answer is the man, to Why do we need to dominate?

    I can respect the fact that my husband is better at decision making, and leave that up to him, and my husband can want to term me as a co director in our shlichus, because he recognizes that my role in the marriage and raising the children, (in addition to the few programs I run) bring as many people closer to Yiddishkeit, as the communal and shul events.

    Ie we can respect the different gender roles without one dominating the other.

    Of course this is still a very delicate balance today and we can’t live this reality fully until Moshiach comes-
    for example, women can’t sing in public because men still have a yetzer hara, until Hashem removes it by the Geula,

    but allot of progress can be made towards living in a Geula mindframe. And its a different life.

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545791
    CS
    Participant

    What I mean by the fact that its a good thing for men too:

    Going back to the beginning of creation – the sun and moon- who represent Mashpia and mekabel- were created equal. The reason why the moon was told to make herself smaller was because of the claim that two kings can’t share the same crown. Someones gotta be boss. So the mekabel become the one dominated and Hashem made it up to get by giving her a bunch of gifts, culminating with a monthly apology for making her smaller as she really should be equal.

    In the world between men and women it played out that someone has to be the boss. Otherwise the other one will be. Now it’s better for men and women that men are the boss. Because otherwise, if the woman dominates, the man feels worthless and they don’t have a happy home. Also the man is better suited to lead the home because he is better at making logic based decisions, whereas women are influenced more by emotion. So if someone has to be boss, its the man.

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545790
    CS
    Participant

    For example it used to be because of golus reality that everyone wanted to have boys more than girls because they were celebrated and appreciated more and their qualities were needed more, both physically and spiritually, in a golus world. So there are special tefillos the mothers would say to daven they should have a ben zachar.

    Now that feminine qualities are appreciated and needed more both physically and spiritually, many couples want a girl just as much as a boy. Some even more. Yet we still say more brachos when we have a boy because that’s the established minhag and we can’t just change it because we feel different.

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545789
    CS
    Participant

    Halachic changes – many have to wait. Attitude changes could and should change today. That’s a positive thing. To be explained iyh

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545695
    CS
    Participant

    Now what about feminine qualities?

    So it used to be feminine qualities were appreciated within the home – and not celebrated in the world at meagre large whereas today, the world really appreciates feminine qualities.

    For example the quality of competition vs cooperation. In the past women were valued for their quality of cooperation because it allowed their husbands to dominate at home and thus there was peace in the home and less conflict.

    Today the world at large – even the business world appreciates cooperation. Everything is about teammanship. The boss now tries to build a pleasant work environment where everyone is esteemed for the role they play, instead of intimidating everyone and showing who’s boss.

    Even cooking is very popular.

    Anyhow that’s my thoughts for now. I think I’ve gone on long enough 🙂

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545692
    CS
    Participant

    So now some practical examples – my thoughts. As the world is in a state today ready to receive the Geula any moment, the world has shifted to a much more Geula oriented state than golus state in mentality. I’m thinking of elaborating this in another thread.

    As far as women are concerned here’s some examples:
    The world has massively changed. It used to be that people had to slave and work really hard just to survive. Much of it was manual labor where women were useless.

    So women were a liability. They often couldn’t support themselves and the men had to support them. Of course the women worked just as hard in the house and having the children but the first priority was survival, which I think explains why in the unfortunate case of divorce, everything belonged to the man – because he was doing the essential primary work without which they both couldn’t survive.

    Since modernization which lessened much of the manual labor and to the point that today people don’t work too survive, but to have a good income, good food, etc quality, women can be self sufficient and aren’t a liability anymore. In fact single women earn more than single men in the same field in some cases.

    So today when a woman gets married, she isn’t a burden to take on, and her husband is her master, rather she is giving up her earning capacity which could’ve rivalled her husband for the sake of building a family – where she won’t be as competent to work when pregnant and with household responsibilities etc. So as a mother and wife, today she is seem as an equal, not a subordinate.

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545685
    CS
    Participant

    2 brochos we make by the wedding reflect the shift that is to occur (and is already occurring):

    In meheira yishoma we say that hopefully, with the coming of moshiach, we will soon hear in the streets, the voice of the chosson and the voice of the kalla!! In golus the kalla, woman, Malchus doesn’t have a voice she just receives. We see this by the chuppa where the husband says harei at, and the kalla is silent. But by moshiachs times the feminine will have their own voice.

    Another example in the wedding brochos is that in one we say mesameach chosson vkalla. Who causes the groom and bride to rejoice. This refers to golus where the husband is happy and then makes his wife happy. She receives the happiness from him.

    But another brocho says mesameach chosson im hakalla. Where they are both put on the same plane. There will be a feminine happiness that isn’t dependent on the masculine. This will be by Geula.

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545684
    CS
    Participant

    Agreed Joseph. Now to what I was referring to, in the source above it brings how women differ by golus and Geula and the reason:

    Everything here is a reflection on the spiritual realms above. Women reflect the spiritual aspect of Malchus (as does the moon btw which is why we are so connected to rosh chodesh), and men reflect their source of the other six active sefiros- chessed- yesod aka zeir anpin.

    Malchus receives from zeir anpin and brings that down to the next level.

    So too women receive support from men physically, financially emotionally etc and in turn nurture the next level – their children.

    However zeir anpin receives from its mother – Malchus of the world above which is nurturing him.

    When moshiach comes this higher aspect of Malchus will be revealed.

    Tbc. And will get practical in two posts iyh

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545613
    CS
    Participant

    Anonymous jew it seems some of those are misunderstood. Take the inheritance for example. The brothers could only inherit after the sisters were provided their dowry for, and the sisters came first…

    The men were the ones who were able to work the land… It was a different world.

    Testimony : a woman is trusted with the household so kashrus and with the tremendous responsibility of taharas hamishpacha. Her non testifying in other circumstances then cannot mean that is because her word isn’t trusted.

    I’m referring to a deeper understanding of feminine roles and equality which I will iyh post soon and is quoted in the source above.

    in reply to: Women- a golus and Geula paradigm #1545505
    CS
    Participant

    True but their greatness was accomplished by diminishing themselves. Just like the moon.

    For example Rabbi Akivas wife Rochel. She was so great because she lost all her wealth and family support to marry him and then slaved away 24 years in utter poverty, raising the children by herself (and giving up on having more probably).

    Because of her self sacrifice, she was credited with all the Torah learned.

    Jewish woman were always treated better than their non Jewish counterparts. But there still was a hierchy. Husband and then wife. Just take the phrase mshubedes labaal. Both those words connote she is beneath him. Yet that was also her greatness and she was lauded by putting herself aside to build klal Yisrael

    By Geula women will still be feminine but the feminine will be valued as equal.the world has definitely shifted in that direction both spiritually and on a world scale.

    in reply to: Gog umagog #1544880
    CS
    Participant

    “Anybody interested in this topic, go check out Rabbi Mendel Kessin’s latest shiur on TorahAnytime. He explains how current events only make sense as Hashem bringing about the fulfillment of the navuos of what must take place before beeyas ha’Moshiach. (fulfillment of Yitzhak’s brochos to Yaakov and Esav, Yishmael’s teshuvah, war with Paras and Gog u’Magog. It’s mamash fascinating, and Rabbi Kessin is a master in connecting the dots and showing Hashem’s hand in current events in a way that both litvishe and chassishe yidden can relate!”

    I looked him up. Thanks was quite interesting. You’re right he does seem quite relatable to everyone.

    On another note, I find it fascinating how major potential conflicts are just not happening with the latest two being the summit with north Korea and the jerusalem embassy move. Really does look like the Geula is coming bshalom bh!

    Also heard something else interesting. It’s written that the gates of Yerushalayim will extend until Damascus – so technically the war of world powers is happening in Yerushalayim.

    Another interesting tidbit – damesek is the same letters as mikdash- and represents the spiritual opposer of the building of the Mikdash. It is interesting how assad has managed to last so long, unnaturally.

    in reply to: Memale Kol Almin #1544879
    CS
    Participant

    Memale kol almin, vsovev kol almin… That’s all the words I caught from the beginning, as I’ve learnt the concepts

    in reply to: Kedusha #1534509
    CS
    Participant

    DY I looked it up youre right. Kedusha is for the sake of unity but does not mean unity. As in Voavdil eschem min Hoamim liyos li. Or as in marriage as stated above.

    Yeah Joseph thats why multiple wives have never worked out well in Torah. Its not a first option, rather used as a last resort if the couple can’t have children but don’t want to get divorced, or there aren’t enough men to marry and support the women. BH those situations don’t apply as much today and the cherem reflects that it was never a great thing.

    in reply to: Gog umagog #1506033
    CS
    Participant

    *today

    in reply to: Gog umagog #1506020
    CS
    Participant

    Tonight is koach Nissan, a very poignant, difficult, soup searching day in lubavitch. Halevai Halevai Halevai that we were the ones who cared about bringing moshiach the least/ most superficially.

    Its time to rejuvenate and refocus on bringing moshiach again…. By learning and educating more about the times of moshiach, so we care more, so we do more. If everyone will join us that would be amazing. Maybe enough to finally bring him here.

    in reply to: Age discrimination in shidduchim for younger boys #1505852
    CS
    Participant

    Hi I had a relative in the same boat. Once he turned 21 shadchanim and girls families took him allot more seriously and bh he got engaged to a wonderful girl! He also matured allot within the year which helped im sure.

    in reply to: Age discrimination in shidduchim for younger boys #1505853
    CS
    Participant

    I think you need to ask yourself why you feel youre ready now and what you have to offer as far as showing you are a responsible frum boy. My relative thought he could marry a really good girl without making major effort because there are more girls than boys. Once he saw a girl and get family won’t just say yes, and if he wants a good girl he needs to make effort, he started taking his own responsibilities such as being consistent with Minyan, kovea itim etc allot more seriously, and he found his match rather quickly when he reentered the parsha at 21.

    in reply to: Age discrimination in shidduchim for younger boys #1505854
    CS
    Participant

    In Chabad bochurim generally do smicha before marriage. As my relative isn’t a learner type, he hadn’t done smicha. I think if he would have and also been consistent with Minyan etc the girls would considered him much more seriously. Incidentally, I know of another boy who was 20, not in Yeshiva as he wasn’t learning well, but serious frum boy who showed up to Minyan every morning, learned every day and worked. He got married at 20.

    in reply to: Moshiach Here #1497160
    CS
    Participant

    “If someone yearns for Moshiach, but does mitzvos because Hashem commanded, is he a kofer?”

    No. It takes allot to be a kofer and we should never throw around the term lightly. However its not ideal as per the mashal. Laskern also addressed it well.

    The reason why I mentioned the kofer part is because toi was telling off litvishechossid, and said he should just do Torah and mitzvos, implying he shouldn’t care when moshiach comes, and I was also pointing out that yearning for moshiach is a central tenet of Judaism.

    Np toi. I was just pointing out what is wrong with that quote. Not trying to get into discussion with you as we mutually agree that certain prerequisites are missing for that.

    in reply to: Moshiach Here #1496030
    CS
    Participant

    “Your part is to do mitzvos, learn Troah, do massim tovim, and have emunah and bitachon. Ad kan”

    And also yearn for it as we say I davening everyday and part of the yud gimmel ikrim.

    How and why should you yearn for it if it’s Hashem’s business?

    A) because Hahem Himself wants to see we care. And why should we care?

    Because that’s the end goal its the point of all our Torah and mitzvos until now!

    “Nisave HKBH liyos Lo Yisborach Dira Btachtonim.”

    An example (not mine):

    If a worker who makes iphones says he loves his job so much that he doesn’t want /need to get paid is a very praiseworthy worker.

    But a worker who says he loves the motions of his part of the process and he doesn’t even care if it ends up as a working iPhone is quite dumb, because that’s the whole point of it

    Someone saying he loves serving Hashem so much he doesn’t need rewards or gan Eden is like the former.

    Someone who says he loves doing Torah and mitzvos and doesn’t care if that brings moshiach today or not is like the latter. And more only that but can risk being a kofer cvs. (As the Rambam says, “vchol mi sheeino.. Michake lvioso is not only kofer in Toras Moshe, but in all Neviim) Because ymos HaMoshiach are not just a reward they’re the whole point of Creation – Hashem wanted that this world which is the lowest and farthest from appreciating G-dliness, should get to appreciate it and live it up.

    So

    in reply to: Consulting the Igros #1484507
    CS
    Participant

    “As to wondering who made this up, I’m with you on that one. So, I can declare, just like you, that it’s weird and funny. That’s where I get off.”

    Thank you haleivi for your comments. I’m still happy to answer any questions including that one, just wasn’t able to to on the other thread because it became more of a bashing one with tons of different questions on different topics thrown in before one was resolved completely so I had to recusr myself. I also don’t think this thread is the right place to discuss due to the mocking tone. If you’d like to understand please see the stump the Rabbi site and click on the video that addresses this very question. Hope this helps.

    in reply to: I See Joseph Everywhere #1476667
    CS
    Participant

    Good memory neville. Was an honest mistake.

    in reply to: If you had one era to go back in time… where would it be? #1471631
    CS
    Participant

    Well luckily for us, we about to go back to that and even better. Kimei tzeischa meieretz mitzrayim arenu niflaos and Vlo yikanef od Morecha. Torah chadasha meiIti teitzei with the coming of moshiach which is happening soon!

    CS
    Participant

    They will see Hashem just like us so the truth will be obvious.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1471269
    CS
    Participant

    Now for my final post on this thread iyh. Heres a summary:

    The Rebbe took two FACTS and made a chiddush by putting one as a reason for the other.

    Fact one: Hashem reveals Himself to the world through Tzaddikim. “Atzmus Umehus areingeshtelt in guf.”
    Some mekoros of this idea:
    1) The Rebbe’s five: R Yitzchak called Hevaya bheichal kodsho, a malach called by Hashem’s Name while doing His shlichus, Moshe rabbeinu using Hashem’s pronuon by Vnosati Esev, Rashbi’s face being likened to The Face of Hashem
    2) Nefesh Hachayim 1:4 hagoh- same words pretty much verbatim
    3)Medrash tehillim 90:1
    4)
    כי רועה ישראל חשוב כאלוקים ממש כי יושב על כסא ”
    השם בארץ … והיינו כיון שהגון חשוב כאלוקות

    ההשפעה הבאה מרוח קדשו של צדיק הדור אשר השכינה שורה בתוכו וממנו יומשך קדושה ”
    “לכל דורו והוא מעונו של הקב”ה ששוכן בקרבו

    Both of these quotes are from the Heilige Chasam Sofer (al Hatorah). The first is from Parshas Matos on the Posuk VaYimosru MeAlfei Yisroel the second is from Parshas Ki Tovo on the Posuk Hashkifah MiMeon Kodshecha. (Whis as he says there refers to the Tzadik Hador who is the Maon Kodhso of HKB”H)

    Fact two: We can go to Tzaddikim with requests for brachos, although to ask the sun for brachos would be AZ.
    Sources:
    1) שות מנחת אלעזר סימן סח
    2) Tzaddikim being alive after their passing- NEFESH HACHAIM 4:21, also Tanya Iggros Kodesh
    3)Tshuvos Mahram Shick, Orach Chayim, 293

    So the Rebbe just said the REASON why its ok to go to a Rebbe for brachos is BECAUSE we, Hashem and the Torah are all one, and Hashem is revelaed through the Rebbe.

    Now I wanted to know why people would never question the Nefesh Hachaim for saying the EXACT same thing as what theyre all upset about, but feel the Rebbe they can question if he is a gadol. I said this makes no sense because:
    1) He made this statement before he became Rebbe AND never retracted it (just remember the NH said the same thing, and lots of other sources, no need why he should retract it.)
    2) Spent the rest of his life as a complete tzaddik
    3) Was accepted as such by the majority of gedolim, (and I wont address the minority because I don’t want to go there, and anyway unless you say you specifically follow those one or two on every issue in your life (which i am almost sure you don’t, and choosing them davka here to hate on chabad is exactly that, sinas chinam.)

    So who is anyone else to say that its “problematic”?

    Other sources on the importance of connecting to a tzaddik and how hashem’s hashpoah comes through the tzaddik:
    Sefer Hamitzvos 7 (connecting)
    Tanya Perek Beis (hashpoah through)
    darshos haRan 8 (and even after passing)
    Noam Elimelech https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/chabad-shluchah-please-explain-why-davening-to-betten-a-rebbe-is-okay/page/7/#post-1466838

    NO ONE DAVENS to the Rebbe, just asks for brachos to be brought down from what Hashem has alloted.

    To understand more, there’s a need to learn the concept that NOTHING is a separate entity from Hashem (that would otherwise be the opposite of achdus Hashem cvs), it can only look that way, and our job is to REVEAL how everything is one with Hashem. by a tzaddik this is revealed. (See Shaar Hayichud vHoemuna which is Tanya section two for more on this)

    AZ is something that thinks its a separate existence or power from Hashem, and serving it, is treating something like something separate and having power other than Hashem.

    Sources outside of the Rebbe about looking at the image of a tzaddik to arouse Yiras Shomayim:
    1)Kav Hayashar (16th century)

    Concept of mimutza hamechaber vs hamafsik and the need for tzaddikim through which we connect to Hashem

    @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay

    Anyhow there’s many many more sources I am sure, because chassidus never makes things up, just emphasizes the ideas, brings them out of hiding, and elaborates. If you want to ask something else, feel free on another thread. Just do me a favor and stick to one question at a time. Otherwise, its impossible to address properly.

    On why we obssess over our Rebbe and how the Rebbe helps me serve Hashem better:

    @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay

    @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay

    As requested:
    Rebyid 23: why not Moshe Rabbeinu himself
    https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/chabad-shluchah-please-explain-why-davening-to-betten-a-rebbe-is-okay/page/3/#post-1462840 #1

    Rso: https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/chabad-shluchah-please-explain-why-davening-to-betten-a-rebbe-is-okay/page/7/#post-1467089

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1471157
    CS
    Participant

    “Are you proposing the above as sufficient positive evidence to substantiate your proposition? Or is it merely sufficient for one who is already a Chabbad Chassid (such as yourself), whereis a non Chabbad Chassid (such as me) should accept the proposition based on a leap of faith?”

    Look, technically I should tell you that by looking at the Rebbe’s neshama, you can see who he is etc. The problem is that we are not holding at that level. Tzadikim can see who is holding where, and who is a Neshama of Atzilus here in this world, but I havent reached that point, and assuming that neither have you.

    So the best evidence we have of who a tzaddik is, is from what we can discern, speech and action (body language as well), also where his interests lie etc.

    The neshama can sense when someone is completely batul to Hashem and you can get a glimpse through stories of people’s encounters. Also learning the tzaddiks Torah can reveal allot. Both of these are available. There is a great book called My Story, that came out last year, about people’s encounters with the Rebbe. Its available to be bought and read.

    By me, simply learning the Rebbe’s Torah shows who the Rebbe is. The miracle stories and open ruach hakodesh just add atop of that.

    in reply to: Why Was Woman Created? #1471053
    CS
    Participant

    BTW the Bgashmius example I have of lyofi is from gemara and I gave it a another example. However the Rebbe explained the second one.

    in reply to: Why Was Woman Created? #1471054
    CS
    Participant

    To answer the tu bav questions:

    The girls all said the bochurim should choose for lofty reasons. Then they divided into groups:

    The pretty ones felt that since they were spiritually beautiful, this radiated and was reflected physically as well. That’s why they said they were beautiful as a maala.

    The yichus ones were advocating the fact they came from fine families gave them fine values which they would in turn imbue their kids with.

    The ugly ones is a thing on its own – gotta run but if you want to hear I’ll write up

    in reply to: Why Was Woman Created? #1471051
    CS
    Participant

    “Ain haisha ela lyofi” a woman was created for beauty. She’s the one who brings beauty to the world and that’s her role b gashmius and bruchnius..

    Bgashmius she serves Hashem this way by uplifting her husband with her beauty and opening his mind to serve Hashem better. (Acc to gemara – 3 things open a man’s mind… A beautiful woman)

    Bruchnius she doesn’t just do the plain act of the mitzvah, rather she infuses it with ahavas and yiras Hashem, does the mitzvos with excitement, bhiddur, and influences her family to do the same.

    A woman is more emotional and she infuses get mitzvos with emotion, beautifying them and granting them the two wings of Ahava and Yirah to fly up to Hashem.

    Ain haisha ela lbanim – a woman’s good qualities aren’t only left for her, but she infuses her kids with the same. A woman transmits her qualities to her children.

    (My example) if a mother has yiras shomayim, she’ll quickly grab her childs yarmulka up if it falls, transmitting to get cold that its very important to constantly wear a yarmulka. And so to with everything. Whatever she is passionate about, she implants that passion in her kids. If she is Aidel, she imbues her children with aidelkeit and mentschlichkeit.
    Etc.

    in reply to: Why Was Woman Created? #1471052
    CS
    Participant

    One more, very much a favourite among the women:

    Eizuhi isha ksheira osa rtzon baala.

    Normally a woman accomplishes her role by being batul to her husband – taking his spiritual instructions and leadership, and running the home according to his wishes and standards.

    However what if the husband wants something that isn’t in line with what Hashem would want of them? What is she to do then?

    So here comes the second way of reading the maamar chazal : she can osa – create – the will of her husband.

    A woman can, in a feminine – gentle way, with her subtle influence, change her husbands will to be in line with what Hashem wants. And this is her task in those situations.

    in reply to: Why Was Woman Created? #1471050
    CS
    Participant

    There’s actually a few ways to wholesomely understand it.
    The girls would actually start by saying (brought in same gemara) bachur sa na einecha – raise your eyes, and don’t look at a girl for her exterior. Sheker hachein vhevel hayofi. So how then did the girls themselves say ein haisha ela lyofi?

    Anyhow here’s in very short – I’ll be happy to elaborate on any.

    in reply to: Why Was Woman Created? #1471048
    CS
    Participant

    Lots although to address the op I would need to live it up with the pesukim. I definitely can- I went to a marriage class where the speaker did exactly that in a beautiful way – but I haven’t seen everything she said inside although the hashkafa is right on. I can always find out though. If that’s OK I’ll be happy to post that.

    in reply to: Why Was Woman Created? #1471049
    CS
    Participant

    Looking at this thread, here’s some things I have seen inside:

    When I was in high school I heard of the whole tu bav story and heard the women would say ein haisha ela lyofi.

    Now I realized I must be missing something, because if the gemara says it, its true, but why would the women demean themselves in such a way? Especially we say in eishes chayil sheker hachein vhevel hayofi? And weren’t the people of that time on a much higher level than being so shallow?

    So I looked into the Rebbe’s sichos to find what I was missing. I found it bh.

    in reply to: What do you think of “The Becher?” #1470840
    CS
    Participant

    The Geula process has already started unfoldiNg. Things have really picked up this year. Moshiach will be here by then so if I would afford it id buy him a valuable becher he can donate to be used towards the beis Hamikdash or keilim.

    in reply to: Minhag Hamakom #1470835
    CS
    Participant

    Important clarification : to the best of my knowledge, the Rebbe’s response regarding women driving only applied to women who had moved to a community where women didn’t drive, not merely visiting.

    I remember hearing this together with another story that one woman drove anyway I guess because she figured it can’t be that bad if our Rabbanim pasken that its fine. End of story : unfortunately she was involved in a bad car accident r”l.

    The Rabbanim who don’t allow women driving base it on the fact that a woman isn’t meant to be “out there” in the world like a man. I don’t know more as it isn’t our shita in lubavitch but that’s what I recall hearing.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1470839
    CS
    Participant

    Moshes rabbeinu, the first Rebbe, said, I stand between tog and Hashem… And so does every Rebbe. This is how:

    1) makes my connection to Hashem stronger:
    A) by the Torah he teaches
    B) by showing a dugma chaya of living an existence which has no other desires other than what Hashem wants. This is our potential, revealed, and that inspires us to reach that in our own level.

    For example, when I see the Rebbe cry over Hashem and his children still remaining in golus, that inspires me to care, and to devote my life to getting us out of golus.

    Another example: it can sound like personality suicide to give up everything you want and have no other life then what Hashem wants. By seeing the Rebbe’s living example, u see that such an existence is really who I am, abs far from being a depressing existence, it is the best thing I could ever do for myself. The more I get in touch with the real me, my neshama, the less limited I am by the normal limitations of the world.

    Hashem to me:
    1) every generation and individual has a specific mission. A tzadik can tell you what Hashem wants you to devote your life to. Which areas you should use your talents. Where your are meant to live etc. Personal guidance from Hashem via the tzadik.

    2) a tzadik can bring down brachos from Hashem and tell me where I need to improve in general, and also to make the brachos happen in reality.

    Hope this helps.

    I do not want to take any other topics in this thread as once a thread gets so long, it is easy to misconstrue things that are said due to missing information and or context spread out over the thread

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1470838
    CS
    Participant

    @avrammd
    I think we both are saying what a Rebbe is or isn’t. For some reason you are misunderstanding me. I hope to clarify for the last time iyh what the role of a Rebbe is. This would apply to all chassidim/ talmidim of tzaddikim by definition of Tanya.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1470836
    CS
    Participant

    Rso its not circular reasoning, just one point out of many. Truth is there should be nothing left controversial as all questions have been answered with various sources, and no counter sources have been brought that have not been addressed.

    I’ll be happy to summarise all questions and answers in one post although it’ll take longer than a few minutes, which is hard for me to spare, so I’ll be glad if it’s not necessary or someone else offers.

    in reply to: Minhag Hamakom #1470521
    CS
    Participant

    I remember learning in kvuda bas melech that minhag hamakom only works to up a standard, not lower it. And of course it can’t compromise halacha.

    So if I visit anywhere and my Rabbonim hold its best to wear a sheitel, I keep the sheitel.

    But if I know that the wedding im attending in willi the people there only wear black id probably have to wear black but not sure if that’s a Tznius thing or a minhag hamakom thing or both.

    If I go to a bungalow colony where people wear flip-flops I can’t do that because it lowers my standards.

    And the meah shearim lady would not be able to take off her shawl if that is considered a higher standard is tznius.

    in reply to: Minhag Hamakom #1470522
    CS
    Participant

    BTW regarding women drivers the Rebbe explicitly told people is not our minhag to forbid women from driving but it depends if it’s the minhag hamakom by them. If it is they need to be careful about it there.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1470233
    CS
    Participant

    @non political
    “How do you know this? Better yet, how can anyone know such a thing? You would need knowledge of all the details of someone else’s life including intent.”

    A persons personality is driven by what gives them pleasure. They then desire that which gives them pleasure. They then use their sechel to think about what they want and really understand it. This results in emotions- love or fear etc of whatever the item is. Finally the emotions make the person develop a plan of action to achieve what they want.

    The soul / personality is the sechel and middos.

    A person reveals who they are through the three expressions of the soul: thought speech and action.

    Thought is closest to the soul. It then gets expressed though speech and or action.

    A beinoni struggles with the yetzer hara but never does an aveira. Still, this struggle is apparent and expresses itself through the garments of the soul.

    A tzadik sheeino gamur doesn’t struggle anymore with thought speech and action. Their yetzer hara is permanently drugged. They struggle with feeling – how much they can tolerate bad. A tzadik gamur has transformed his yetzer hara (or more correctly his nefesh habehamis) into another nefesh haElokis, so he doesn’t tolerate any bad at all as his love for Hashem is complete.

    The Rebbe never exhibited any signs of struggle with the bad. What did he cry about? That the shechina is still in gadlus, that Jewish children don’t know Alef beis. What made him happy? Activities furthering Torah and mitzvos.

    Besides there’s a whole mystical side of a Rebbe that can be sensed but I can’t put it into words as I am kind of clueless in that area. But people that met the Rebbe will share of that. There’s tons of personal recollections on jem.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1470236
    CS
    Participant

    @non political
    As for your other well articulated points, you are correct.

    Again the remarks were made in 1950. I’m not aware of any such gathering of rabbis that said these remarks were cvs against halacha. And I am aware of many Rabbonims high regard for the Rebbe. I also am not a Rav myself, I know very little, and I think my Rabbonim would best know what situations are halachically binding etc

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1470075
    CS
    Participant

    @Eli p
    That’s a very interesting answer. Thanks for sharing.
    I wasn’t offended, just disheartened. So thanks for that.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1469732
    CS
    Participant

    The Rebbe once said, that even within the Lubavitcher Rebbeim, each Rebbe had what they stressed, and based on what the chossid koched in, the Rebbe could tell whose chossid it is.

    Then the Rebbe said that his chassidim koch in three things:

    1)What a Jew is
    2) Mivtzoim
    3) Moshiach

    And that’s what our conversations usually revolve around

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1469728
    CS
    Participant

    BTW the reason why sechel and maybe others doubt im mainstream is because mainstream lubavitchers never bring up these topics. I wouldn’t either as they’re really not the things we focus on. Like I said this whole question of this thread I never knew was controversial before.

    However the Rebbe never evaded questions, even uncomfortable ones. Chassidus demands emess, and I feel if we’re being asked we should answer fully, honestly and truthfully. If a chossid can’t do that, they have to examine why. As everything a chossid does should have a firm foundation.

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1469724
    CS
    Participant

    @79 thanks allot!


    @joseph
    rso
    I think the next big topic to address is HOW Chabad chassidim are mekushar today. This thread was discussing the concept of hiskashrus itself, and its quite long. That can be opened on a separate thread.

    Btw rso I find you quite ironic. First you ask me if I know of anyone else who is a tzadik gamur of Tanya, I respond no and I’d love to know of another, as there is no reason to be unique in that regard. You respond that feivel thinks his Rebbe is one, and then refuse to give his name. Do you get the irony here?

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1469694
    CS
    Participant

    @NP
    “Which Gedolim (past or present) are on record endorsing that a Rebbe is mahuto v atzmuto mamish areingishtelt b’guf ? Can you cite a credible example of even one?”

    Honestly, I never heard of that sicha being viewed as controversial before this thread. I happened to have learned that year of the Rebbe’s sichos many many times so I knew where to find it. On this thread, one person was mentioned as having called that the opposite of avodas Hashem cvs, so thats where I picked that up from. So being honest, as I do try to be, I’m going to make a distinction here between me and you so you know exactly where I stand.

    For me: I know, as all Chabad Chassidim know, that the Rebbe lived his entire life as a Tzaddik Gamur of Tanya, and accomplished incredible things. Every time we learn a sicha of the Rebbe, Kal Vchomer a Maamar, it lights up our neshama and gives us renewed energy to serve Hashem. It sets our sights and goals higher.

    It’s true that an individual can go off, no matter how great they are, but no one goes from being a Tzaddik gomur to an oved…. in a snap, and then back again, unless they are mentally unstable.

    For example, Shabsai Tzvi started off as a bright student and looked like a promising Torah leader. If yoshke lhavdil was the student of R Yehoshua ben Prachia, he did too. (Both of them though were not at the level of a tzaddik gamur as when it came down to it, they showed ego/ crassness. The first by refusing to listen to his teacher, and the second by his crass comment which showed his world view.)

    However, he went on to think he knew better than his teacher. He continued down a spiritually destructive path until it ended very sadly.

    However, The Rebbe lived his entire life desiring nothing but what Hashem wanted. Before he went to cheder he was already picturing how the Geula would look. He never took one action, word and we can assume thought against Hashem. So since he is known to us as such, this controversial statement will remain that, controversial to others, but we accept it as the truth.

    Now it could be for other communities, to say such a thing would lead to the opposite of avodas hashem for them because they don’t understand/ learn achdus Hashem in the light of Tanya. So for them, it can be a statement their Rebbeim feel is assur.

    For example, Satmar is known for their anti Zionist protests as part of their avodas Hashem. For one of their bochrim to engage in it is considered a good thing. But if a BMG Bachor would participate, I would think his Rosh Yeshiva would scold him roundly for the bitul Torah because that’s not his path in avodas Hashem and he’s just wasting time.

    Similarly the Breslov on their Simcha trucks. I dont see a chareidi wide condemnation against it, because we see where its coming from and they focus on simcha. But we probably would scold one of our own bochrim for spending his afternoon on one.

    So what I’m saying is two points:

    1)I’m really not interested in how many people were for it not for it etc. because the Rebbe is known as a tzaddik gamur and never did anything against Hashem, so this must also be truth.

    I’m glad I know now all this information so I can be respectful in other communities to their views, such as with my BY students.

    2) If you want, you can present here a list of Gedolim who said this is explicitly against halacha, and I think you’ll see its the minority. And it’s fine they dont endorse it, you dont find Lakewood gedolim endorsing anti Zionist protests, and we all have a different view with how to approach Zionism, yet we understand that this is a legitimate thing for Satmar to do even if it isn’t for us. Am I making sense?

    From your posts it is clear to me that you are a sincere person. You know very well that the objection to this chiddush is not only from one Gadol. I’m very surprised you would claim such a thing.

    “Also it seems to me, although I could be wrong, that there is a halachic “due process,” like by the gemara they hashed out their proofs for their opinions, and then voted on the final halacha.”

    There are many examples post chazal where there is closure in halacha and dayos. For example:
    1) Turning on a incandescent light bulb is chillul Shabbos
    2) The Zohar HaKadosh is authentic

    Right but that doesn’t address what I wrote.

    fixed-79

    in reply to: @Chabad Shluchah Please Explain Why Davening To/Betten a Rebbe is Okay #1468916
    CS
    Participant

    @non political
    OK but there are also plenty of times where a yachid reveals a chiddush which is a valid path in Avodas Hashem. Shivim panim laTorah.

    Also it seems to me, although I could be wrong, that there is a halachic “due process,” like by the gemara they hashed out their proofs for their opinions, and then voted on the final halacha.

    So, your example doesn’t seem to apply here because :

    A) Afaik there was only one gadol who came out against this chiddush as the opposite of Avodas Hashem cvs, while the others did not, even if they wouldn’t claim it as their own chiddush. So if anything, that one person would be the yochid here.

    B) did even that one gadol really hash it out with the Rebbe and follow “vshoalta vchakarta vdorashta heitev?” For obvious reasons we won’t discuss b, but you can respond on a.

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