Ex-CTLawyer

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  • in reply to: What’s a girl to do if her father is not a Talmid Chacham? #1341713
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    The girl should find a nice boy whose father is in business or the professions, who will value the girl for herself and not her father’s learning.
    One marries the girl, not the shver

    in reply to: Millennials and open floor plans #1340974
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Lightbrite
    Mrs. CTL is a designer/builder/realtor
    I asked her your question…………..
    This is true of Generation Xers
    She has found that Millenials:
    #1 are less apt to buy, they are swamped with student debt
    #2 tend to entertain at restaurants, not their homes and don’t want the large entertaining spaces
    #3 find security in compartmentalization>>>goodbye Great Room and breakfast bar leading from kitchen to family room. Hello formal dining room, a kitchen that is closed off so guests don’t see the mess and smell what’s cooking while visiting

    The days of the McMansions are over, house size has been decreasing for a decade. Millenials don’t want to care for 2-5 acres of land and a 5 Bedroom 5 bath, 3 car garage home.

    Mrs. CTL and I have 5 children, all are married. No child has more than 4 children (so far). Only the youngest who just married is living in a house with an open floor plan, and she didn’t choose it, we gave her the use of MIL’s home next door, as we moved MIL in with us this year for health reasons. She is the almost millenial, born in 1997. She is already asking about renovating the house, closing off the kitchen and creating a formal dining room.

    in reply to: Men marrying younger women: Chassidic vs Yeshivish #1340972
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    We are Misnagid of Litvak and German stock, but many generations in America.
    Personally I think the ages of the couple should be reasonably close (within 5 years), but it doesn’t matter who is older.
    My eldest brother is three years younger than his wife (married more than 50 years)
    My eldest sister is three months older than her husband (married 47 years)
    My eldest nephew is three years younger than his wife….the wife was his older sister’s college roommate and the sister fixed them up knowing they were a match….yesterday was there 20th anniversary.
    My eldest son is a year younger than his wife…they finished law school together and married the next week.
    (married 17 years)
    I’m two years older than Mrs. CTL. Our mothers fixed us up when she was a senior in college and I was in final semester of law school…we’ve been married more than 45 years.
    I have a female cousin who married a man 12 years older than herself. They had nothing in common to talk about. The shadchan kept telling her what a great catch this was….her mother kept saying if he’s a great catch why was he single so long? The marriage lasted about two years, then divorce. A year later she married a man her own age…..(married 35 years).

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    I believe that able bodied adults should lose welfare benefits if they refuse work (including work assigned by the government).
    Last year, the city welfare office in the largest city near me required able bodied adults who were collecting city welfare benefits to shovel snow at city schools, parks, etc. Nothing wrong with that.

    in reply to: Which CR Poster do you want to meet in real life? #1339975
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Geordie613
    I’ve love to meet you and talk about the old days in the Rand

    Ten days ago we hosted our youngest daughter’s chassunah…a wonderful Brai. Made Biltong in my own smokehouse.
    The Chasson is from SA. I give no further hints to protect his family’s privacy. You would have had a wonderful time with us.

    There are many here I’d like to meet of all ages and customs

    in reply to: Should We View Satmar Growth and Anti Israel Indoctrination as Concern #1340013
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    You are attributing words to me that never were typed by me.
    “CTL, yet you do mind the even smaller amount of government entitlement benefits collectively given to “black hat” Jewish families.”
    My comment asking about the difference between Black Welfare Queens and Black Hat Welfare Queens was to show the bias, prejudice and hypocrisy of some posters.

    I have no problem with the truly needy receiving government benefits that they legitimately qualify for. I don’t tolerate lying, cheating and fudging applications to get the benefits.

    I do believe in workfare. Able bodied adults must perform public work in order to receive benefits.

    in reply to: Should We View Satmar Growth and Anti Israel Indoctrination as Concern #1339813
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    mw13

    You post to which I replied asked: “Then what do make of the approximately $233.7 BILLION in aid (adjusted for inflation) that the US has given Israel since the state was formed in 1948?”

    I answered what I make of foreign aid, you then come back and say “you have not answered the specific question of which of these three factors you think would justify the “approximately $233.7 BILLION in aid (adjusted for inflation) that the US has given Israel since the state was formed in 1948”.

    NICE TRY…….you did NOT ask that specific question, so how could I answer it.

    I don’t have to justify the foreign aid given to Israel by the USA. We live in a representative democracy, and empower our elected members of Congress to make these decisions. They have to justify their actions or risk losing reelection.

    Personally, I think it was money well spent for all three reasons.
    Money to resettle refugees (food, clothing, shelter, education)
    Money to build a political ally’s might in a region that hates the USA
    Money to assuage guilt for not taking refugees from Europe when the USA could have done so in the 1930s and 40s.

    I don’t mind the small amount of my tax dollars spent on foreign aid to Israel

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Nevillechaimberlin

    Just because I said something made sense, does not mean I agreed with it. It was a radical proposal by a very Conservative talk show host who wanted to be mayor of NYC.
    His point, knowing that this could never be an enforcable law, was that after 2 out of wedlock children a mother would receive no additional welfare benefits for more kids.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    MW13
    What do I make of foreign aid by the US government?

    #1 Humanitarian aid is a good thing it it alleviates starvation, disease and homelessness
    #2 Military aid may be in our best interests, many Americans would rather arm others than have our own children go off to fight
    #3 Some foreign aid is to assuage guilt

    in reply to: The Casualties of Yiddish in Litvishe Chadorim #1338117
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sorry,
    in America, most youngsters have to struggle to learn Chumash and Rashi in a language they do not understand>>>>>HEBREW. My first year of elementary yeshiva we had three books: Raishis Daas to learn the aleph beis, sfer B’reishis to learn Chumash, and a Shilo Siddur (because the print was large. More than 60 years later I still remember that the Shma was on page 59 and the Shemona Esrai began on page 64.
    I did not encounter any Yiddish being used for instruction until I was in High School and my rebbeim were all born in pre-war Europe. It was not a language I ever heard used by my parents or grandparents. BUT, I was fluent in Hebrew and German (Oma taught me) and I got by.

    in reply to: Bachelor in 1 year #1337940
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @NiceJewishBoy
    You’ll find that most Master Degree programs in OT require a specific set of prerequisites including many science classes with labs that cannot be done on line or on your own.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    I haven’t seen any thread where such a comment would have been appropriate for me to make.

    Remember the Bob Grant proposal for mandatory sterilization of welfare moms after 2 out of wedlock children (1970 or so). It was extreme and unconstitutional but made sense

    BTW>>>>what’s the difference between the black welfare queens you mention and black hat welfare kings besides prejudice?

    The halachik difference is that one is a group of Jews.

    in reply to: Should We View Satmar Growth and Anti Israel Indoctrination as Concern #1337918
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @moderators
    Since I have no access to my original censored comment I can’t agree or disagree with your characterization. I have no hate for Satmar. I pointed out that their has been explosive growth of a group dependent on US Government handouts and that is a concern to US taxpayers.

    In fact, although I am from a long line of misnagdim, my father and grandfather A”H sponsored, brought in to Brooklyn and employed more than 100 Satmar after the WWII. They wished it could have been many times that, but that was all the visas that could be obtained.

    You have changed my original post from ‘excised…strong’ to excised.

    My point of view may be strong, but it is not untrue and does not denigrate a group of people. It points out how dependent a group is on social welfare programs.

    I’m a believer in earning one’s own way in the world.

    in reply to: Bachelor in 1 year #1337919
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @niceJewishboy
    A reality check is NOT an attack.
    Too many yungermen have terrible secular educations. They have been sold a bill of goods about short cuts to college degrees. Degrees that are meaningless in the real (secular) world.

    I’m an employer in a sophisticated field (law) that required multiple degrees. I also teach law. I know the difference between a real degree and a scheme.
    There are many holding degrees who lack good writing skills, they are not to be hired by me or my colleagues.

    It is not just Yeshiva grads who have bad English grammar and composition skills, most college freshmen in the US require a remedial course.

    in reply to: Should We View Satmar Growth and Anti Israel Indoctrination as Concern #1337900
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Well the moderators have censored my post………………
    I questioned whether taxpayers should be concerned about the growth of any group which is highly dependent on government handouts (here in the USA).

    The moderators should not hide their heads in the sand and pretend that some groups of low income, large family people are highly dependent on Welfare, SNAP (Food Stamps), Medicaid and Public Housing (including Section 8 vouchers) do not exist.

    The explosion of that part of the population must be a concern to all US taxpayers, whether it be members of a particular Chasidus, or African-Americans or Latinos or Illegal-Immigrants.

    The moderators aren’t hiding their heads in the sand to the idea that sometimes a poster has a legitimate or at least presentable opinion, regardless how negatively it presents the “other side” but they have trouble refraining from inserting their global prejudice or hatred among the words. You obviously understood that, as is evidenced by your re-write, but seem reluctant to acknowledge doing so.

    in reply to: Should We View Satmar Growth and Anti Israel Indoctrination as Concern #1337853
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    These are two quite different questions…………………………..
    excised

    #2 Should we view Satmar anti-Israel Indoctrination as a concern.
    Yes and No
    Yes for those in the USA who register and vote and support anti-Israel funding. Whether we agree with the secular Zionist government or not, Israel is America’s only true ally in the middle east and neccessary to protect our interests and safety (the Mossad and Shin Bet supply invaluable information about situations worldwide)
    No for those who live in EY and demonstrate against the government. They are viewed as a crackpot minority, they are too small in number to have any real effect except to make Jews a laughing stock in the world media. They have proven that they can’t get along with themselves (split into 2 groups hating and suing each other) why would we expect them to get along with other ‘normal’ Jews?

    in reply to: Bachelor in 1 year #1337836
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @niceJewishboy
    Reading your post, it appears you’ll need a remedial English grammar and composition class before completing a ‘Bachelor’s’ or ‘Baccalaureate’ degree program.
    One does not get a ‘Bachelor’ unless one is a single girl looking to snare a husband who has never been married.
    A do it yourself program that combines Hebrew and English subjects will have little value or respect in the ‘real world,’ the world that hires and pays you a living wage.

    BTW>>>on-line classes run by accredited colleges and universities are NOT do it yourself methods. You participate in actual classes conducted by school staff. I have taught an on’line class for a Law School the past 6 years. The student join in a Skype round-table at a set time each week. Students and myself can see and hear each other and interact live. They are required to take the final exam in person either on campus or at a specified academic testing center with a professional tutor in place.

    in reply to: Babysitters #1337721
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    If a babysitter were to be left alone in our home and expected to feed the children, yes we’d use only Frum babysitters.
    In an instance such as watching the grandchildren at a chassunah we’re hosting and are both present and providing all food and drink, there is no reason for the babysitter to even be Jewish. In fact I’d rather a non-Jew than have a non-frum Jew as a role model or person in authority,

    in reply to: Babysitters #1337688
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Every season the American Red Cross runs Baby Sitting certification classes in most communities. The fee is less than $20 (or free in our town as the town provides the space and tuition as a community service)
    We had our two youngest take this course and felt much more comfortable allowing them to babysit after formal training as to what steps to take in an emergency, what is proper behavior while babysitting, basic first aid response, etc.

    In addition to references, I’d insist on certification/formal training before engaging the services of a baby sitter for my grandchildren.
    This past week when we hosted my daughter’s chassunah, I hired 3 graduates of the spring class to supervise the youngest guests so their parents could enjoy the simcha weekend.

    in reply to: Are civil rights a bad thing? #1337206
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @DovidBT
    You are sounding like a socialist…you want me to give up 80% of my land…………..
    OTOH world peace sounds good

    in reply to: Tight-fitting clothing and tznius – the elephant in the room #1337151
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Actually Judicial Discretion permits a judge to express their opinion about how a child is being raised (including dress, language, activities, school, friends, bedtime) especially when a parent is seeking custody.
    I don’t know what other reasons the judge may have had, if any. BUT, if a judge decided that allowing a 12 year old to come to court dressed for the beach is bad parenting, the judge is within her rights.

    Rest assured that before the judge left her chambers to sit on the bench she had access to the full parenting report from the court/family relations social worker and school records, etc.

    in reply to: Tight-fitting clothing and tznius – the elephant in the room #1337024
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I was in family court this morning to file a motion for a client. A self represented couple was there filing motions for custody of a 12 year old girl. The mother was dressed in see through cotton top that did not reach her pants waistline. The pants had cut slits at the thighs and behind. The father was in an old, but clean black suit with a white shirt and red tie.
    The bailiff came to the mother before the judge entered and offered her a shawl to wrap around her top, the mother refused.
    The judge entered. The couple was the 3rd motion to be heard. When the names were called the judge (female 60s) asked the wife if she thought her dress was appropriate for court, the wife replied ‘it’s summer’
    The judge asked the wife if she’d let her 12 year old appear dressed the same way. The husband said the wife brought the daughter for supervised visitation and daughter was in the hall. Judge had daughter brought into the courtroom, Daughter was wearing a halter top, short shorts and flip flops.
    Judge lectured wife that this might be appropriate for the beach, but not court or city streets.
    Arguments continued for about 20 minutes. Judge awarded custody to the father, saying mother did not comprehend what is acceptable for a 12 year old to wear in public and questioned the mother’s judgment in general.

    in reply to: The slowly disappearing community school of old. #1335444
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @lesschumras
    You can pay staff with only $1,000 per student tuition if the school has:
    1> a LARGE endowment
    2> a substantial benefactor (or a few) who underwrite the difference between income and expenses
    3> does substantial successful fundraising
    4> subsidies from another organization (such as Federation)
    5> other sources of income (I know one school that makes enough from rental of classrooms and facilities at night to a college for a satellite campus to cover 1/3 the annual budget

    in reply to: Un-babyproofing your house #1335220
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    It’s not problematic, it’s just that none of these things were done for ‘babyproofing’

    A child does not equal a baby…(going into the kitchen to get a serving piece, etc.)
    I locked chemicals in my home when I was a single based on my parents’ methods. They started doing it when the youngest was already Bar Mitzvah and no grandchildren.

    The fact that a baby might be safer because of these methods does not make it babyproofing.
    For example, we never had gates on the stairs

    in reply to: Un-babyproofing your house #1335007
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @lightbrite
    I know I’m a lot older than you.
    What your grandparents and Great grandparents did is a function of where they lived and their income.
    My great grandparents lived in NYC. They had electric lights in their homes, not oil lamps and candles.
    By the late 1920s the icebox in their homes had been replaced by GE refrigerators.

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    If you wish to improve A/C efficiency and reduce entry of dust from inside the drywall to your living space. Go to Home Depot or similar and buy the foam inserts made for behind switchplates. They are available in single or doubly gang size and have punch outs you remove for outlets or switches. You unscrew the switchplate, punchout the shape of the outlet or switch, insert the foam piece and reinstall the switchplate. You’ll find that this also cust down on drafts from aoutlets and switches on outside walls that are under insulated.

    in reply to: The slowly disappearing community school of old. #1335005
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    A problem avoided OOT. Communities generally have one school and all are welcome. The greater Jewish community (non-frum) supports these schools though allocations from the local Jewish Federation.

    in reply to: Un-babyproofing your house #1334803
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Avram in MD……………….
    Replacing the outlets was required to bring the renovation area up to State of CT current building code. Our youngest is 20 (married this past Sunday). The area being renovated is Mrs. CTL’s Real Estate home office…no babies in there either, but it’s the law.

    We’ve always kept cleaning chemicals and bug chemicals, etc under lock and key. Not to keep babies away, but a senile grandparent who lived with my parents once poured liquid rat poison into the soup while cooking. We’ve had non-English reading cleaning help over the years and feel safer this way.

    Our kitchens are locked because we live in small town New England. The nature of our OOT living is that non-Jewish and non-Frum neighbors and associates are often in our homes for meetings (political, etc.) This way no one who doesn’t understand the true workings of a kosher kitchen goes in and attempts to help by putting things away, grabbing the wrong serving piece, etc.

    Keeping breakables off low tables is to prevent the dogs from breaking them, not babies. Again, our youngest is 20, but our youngest dog is 4.

    in reply to: Jewish big brother program #1334638
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    By using the volunteer match portal…it’s a dot org
    you can get to: Jewish Community Services offers the opportunity to serve your community through “Jewish Big Brother Big Sister Program”.

    in reply to: Jewish big brother program #1334615
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    That went out in 1984

    in reply to: Un-babyproofing your house #1334546
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    We never ‘babyproofed’ our home.
    Setting and teaching boundaries early and watching the children closely avoids most problems.
    That said there are certain safety items that are now building code. We just pulled an electrical permit for a little remodeling work. We were forced to bring the existing work to 2017 code requirements. Think meant that all electrical outlets had to be childproof. They are made so that a child can’t just stick something such as a paperclip into the socket and get shocked/electrocuted or start a fire.
    Our kitchen has locking doors, and we keep them locked so no child or non-immediate family adult enters on their own,
    We keep cleaning supplies and other chemicals (wasp/hornet spray for example) in locked cupboards.
    Having 4 dogs we don’t keep breakable items out on tables

    in reply to: Bar-B-Que #1334319
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    RebYidd23….
    we have a complete outdoor kitchen, but even here in New England it is not for summer only. I grill 12 months a year, even in rain, snow and ice.

    As mentioned in another thread, yesterday was our youngest daughter’s wedding. It occurred in the gardens of the CTL compound. By here request the seudah was a BBQ. Many meats had been smoked in our brick backyard smokehouse, including homemade sausages, ribs, briskets, poultry and biltong.
    There were multiple grills, outdoor ovens, rotisseries going to feed the 250(+-) guests.

    We do lots of cooking in our indoor kitchens, but some things are always cooked outdoors: steaks, chops, boneless chicken breast, kebabs, hamburgers and hot dogs.

    in reply to: Same Day Burial #1334318
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @bored
    Where’s here?
    I live in Connecticut and the Jewish cemeteries are not controlled by unions.
    We have a family cemeteries on my Paternal side in both Queens and Suffolk counties that have union workers.
    Decades ago when the cemetery workers were on strike in NYC, my cousins and I dug a grave in Mt Hebron Cemetery (Flushing) so a relative could be buried without being held in a morgue until the strike was over.

    in reply to: Mazal Tov to the family of CTLAWYER #1333580
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    Your views on Medinat Yisrael were a refreshing break from all Trump discussions. This being an election year in our town the locals ignored your comments.

    We look forward to hosting you again.
    BTW> the chassan/kallah loved your gift

    in reply to: Mazal Tov to the family of CTLAWYER #1333575
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @lowerourtuition11210

    OOT we don’t get hung up over the politics of hecksherim. If the shul Rav was eating, the Mesader Kedushin (my BIL) was eating Joseph was eating. Kashrus HaMakom is an important concept. I believe that if Joseph did not trust the kashrus at the CTL compound he’d have stayed in NY.

    in reply to: Same Day Burial #1333473
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    There are logistical reasons why a burial may not be able to take place the same day that are out of control of the family/funeral director.
    In some place the Funeral Director needs an official Death Certificate before the interment can occur. Local city and town halls don’t issue them after 4 or 4:30PM.
    As was mentioned already there may be a delay from the society in approving the burial and notifying the cemetery that it is ok to bury the mais.
    The deceased may owe money to the synagogue who owns the cemetery and they won’t allow an interment until the bill is paid in full.

    Here, OOT, there is generally only one Jewish Funeral home in each city. Sometimes they have more funerals than they can handle in a day and try to push them off.

    There are synagogues where the rabbi’s contract says that only he may officiate at a burial in the synagogue’s cemetery. If he is not available the burial can also be delayed.

    Lastly, and often the most important factor is weather. My mother A”H died at about 2 AM in a nursing facility. It was blizzard like weather. The funeral home could not retrieve her body until 4PM due to road conditions. The cemetery roads were not plowed until 2 PM the next day so the interment was 3:30 that afternoon.

    in reply to: Mazal Tov to the family of CTLAWYER #1333420
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    Yes, I spotted you during the dinner when I was walking my daughter form table to table to greet the guests.
    You were enjoying a rack of beef ribs that I had smoked in our own smokehouse along with roasted in the husk Silver Queen corn on the cob grown in our own vegetable garden. I saw the remains of ratatouille also made with our own vegetables on your plate. I don’t think you had yet tried the Biltong, but Geordie613 said it reminded him of the good old days in South Africa.
    You apologized for not shaking hands, but they were sticky from the bbq sauce on the ribs. You did rave about my MIL’s cole slaw recipe.
    I overheard your remark about how nice it was to attend a chasunah that served beef and not chicken. I guess you had not yet been to the serving station where the chicken shish-kebabs over coucous were being served. Sorry you had to rush back to NY. This morning’s breakfast included both lox and whitefish that were also smoked in our smokehouse.
    We have a grandson’s Bar Mitzvah planned here during sukkos….we look forward to seeing you again. Maybe you’ll arrange a van and bring a few of our CR friends. After all, if you eat by me, I expect the rest except KJChusid will as well.

    in reply to: Mazal Tov to the family of CTLAWYER #1333383
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    The wedding was a success, I”H the marriage will be also.
    All the guests departed last night and the cleanup will be complete this morning as they started removing tents at 7 AM.
    Mrs. CTL, that very smart lady I am married to insisted that it was fine for us to have Shabbos guests prior to the chasunah, but everyone could stay in hotels last night. My next eldest brother and his wife are hosting breakfast today for those who stayed the night.

    We were extremely lucky with the weather, it was sunny and only in the low 70s with a nice breeze. As the evening wore on we lit fire pits to keep the guests comfortable.
    This was the second of our 5 children to be married at our home and I would not trade the feeling for the most grand hotel or hall. We were in complete control with no one telling us what is or is not permitted under the contract or charging extra if the guests wanted to stay longer than anticipated.
    Our neighbors were wonderful, small town America pitches in to help residents celebrate. The local fire house has a large parking lot 2 blocks away. 4 neighbor teen volunteered to shuttle guests’ cars to and from parking and refused payment or tips. We sent trays of food to the firehouse for those on duty. No one complained about the lights and music lasting into the night., One neighbor actually set off fireworks at 11PM to celebrate the newlyweds.

    Mrs. Plony>>>>no I am not worried that I’ll be identified. There is and will be no coverage in the typical simcha pages on line or in print. I don’t think there were a dozen guests from NY and they were family, not friends who’ll not speak about it, we value our privacy. The officiants were all close family members.

    As for CR members, in the years I’ve been a member only once was I contacted, and it was by a moderator seeking legal/medical help here in CT. He apologized for contacting me via email. Even the email address I use for CR is a blind and not in my own name.

    in reply to: Mazel Tov to the Family of Little Froggie #1333384
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Mazel Tov…………….
    We’ll be with you in spirit, sorry we can’t attend as we’ll be dealing with Shevah Brochos this week.
    We’ll drink to your son and new DIL and your joy as well

    in reply to: Mazal Tov to the family of CTLAWYER #1333052
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I have been banished to my home office for a short time while hair and makeup sessions are going on and have a chance to check the computer.

    Thank to everyone for their best wishes.
    Tents, tables, chairs are set up. Flowers are next.
    The pergola leading from our sliders to the swimming pool will be the Chuppah. 8 years of training the Wisteria to grow up the columns and hand wrapping it around the top lattice makes for a beautiful and functional chuppah and sukkah.
    The chasson and his family are ensconced in MIL’s former house across the driveway. SIL hosted all the Shabbos guests for breakfast and minyan at her house just down the street. Our kitchens are going full blast, making trays and preparations. The BBQ pits have fires roaring to be reduced to coals by 1.

    Feeling joy and melancholy as the baby becomes a married woman today. B”H all the OOT relatives have arrived or are within a short drive (having stayed at my siblings’ homes for Shabbos), only our kids, spouses, grandchildren stayed here.

    Mrs. CTL gave me the final counts, daughter got what she wanted about 250 people, 60% family, 30% friends, 5% neighbors, and 5% obligatory Judges, Attorneys, politicians. The obligatory guest will attend the chuppah, have a drink and a couple of appetizers and take off before meal speeches, dancing.

    B”H Mrs. CTL has recovered from her terrible health ordeal last year and seems to have gained strength planning this event.

    I don’t expect that I’ll be able to post again until tomorrow, but I’ll keep all you in mind, drink a glass to your help and encourage any of the singles to get moving, we have some really nice eligibles here in the CR

    in reply to: Do any frum poets know how to write anything other than free verse? #1332687
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @DovidBT
    My poetry has been written to/for my wife and daughters. I’d not feel comfortable posting them publicly

    in reply to: Market hits record high under Trump Administration #1332610
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @joseph
    A rise does not mean the market likes the policies. It may be that war is expected and the companies in the DJI that benefit from military buildup are driving the increase.

    Like the anti-Viet Nam War button reads: ‘war is good business, invest your son’

    in reply to: Do any frum poets know how to write anything other than free verse? #1331596
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Personally, I prefer Yards, feet and inches to meters.

    BUT I learned decades ago to write in Iambic Pentameter

    in reply to: Market hits record high under Trump Administration #1331259
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Big Deal……….
    The Dow Jones hit a record high under another lousy Republican administration>>>>>Hoover, then lost 90% of its value and hit a record low and the US was plunged into the Great Depression.

    in reply to: If you can go to war at 18, you should be able to drink at 18 #1331051
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @lowerourtuition

    I tend to interchange purchase and drinking age as the same. Many states have specific drinking age exceptions for parents proving certain alcohol to their own children in their own homes.

    in reply to: If you can go to war at 18, you should be able to drink at 18 #1331016
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sounding old, again…………
    Back in the Viet Nam war era…the chant of young men subject to the draft was: “Old enough to die, old enough to vote.
    So Congress passed and the states ratified a constitutional amendment lowering the voting age to 18. Then the cry went out: ‘Old enough to die, old enough to vote, old enough to drink’

    Many states such as Connecticut lowered the drinking age to 18. NY was already 18.
    In a short period of time the number of automobile fatalities caused by teen-aged drunk drivers skyrocketed and there were calls to raise the drinking age. The draft and Viet Nam war had ended.
    Only states can set drinking age, no national law would be constitutional, so Congress used the power of the budget. If a state did not raise its legal drinking age to 21, the federal government would withhold Federal highways funds from that state. Thus an almost universal 21 drinking age in the US.

    in reply to: Things chosson should do #1330974
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @lowermytuition11210

    You did not argue or bash ‘gift slinging’ you simply stated what you did not receive and did not give.

    People must understand that NO gift can be a must. There are traditions, period. I have constantly advocated on the CR that people should live within their means and not go into debt.

    I have worked hard for what we have amassed. We have also been fortunate to inherit things, not money. I never would have gone out and bought Mrs. CTL a 5 carat diamond ring. However she wears a stone of that size that my grandfather received in settlement of a debt in the 1930s. Some day, I expect it will adorn a grandson’s or great grandson’s wife’s finger.

    We’re making our last daughter’s chasunah Sunday. No wedding palace and $200 per plate meal. It will be in our gardens by her choice. The cooking and baking has been done in our kitchens.

    We are not and have never been in competition with our friends and neighbors. I remember many decades ago an old camp friend of Mrs. CTL making a snide remark because our eldest baby didn’t have a Perego carriage, but a no name carriage. About 6 years later, they called asking for the name of a good bankruptcy attorney.

    in reply to: do you support repeal & replace obamacare? 🚫🔀🤵🏿💉❓ #1330706
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Ubiquitin
    Anthem Bluecare which is her Medicare and wraparound refused the order for DME made by #1 Internist, #2 Oncologist #3 Physical Therapist (paid for by Anthem Bluecare. They insist on the evaluation by the Gerentologist.
    A wheelchair require specific face to face notes from the evaluating doctor, not just an Rx.

    None of the insurance pays for things such as shower chairs. The insurers will pay for 6 weeks of 1 hour per visit twice weekly home health aides. Once she is evaluated, she’ll get 9 hours oper day 7 days per week

    in reply to: Hasidic areas in New Jersey #1330678
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Read the NYTIMES article I mentioned. 62 families of assorted Chassidus

    in reply to: Hasidic areas in New Jersey #1330606
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Today’s New York Times website has a lengthy article about ‘Ultra Orthodox’ Jews leaving NYC for new homes. It features the 62 Hasidic families that have settled in Jersey City buying large homes in the $300,000 range. Worth reading as an asnwer to the OP’s question

    in reply to: Things chosson should do #1330587
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    I don’t think this SIL learned to be happy and enjoy finer things until her mother stopped interfering in SIL’s life. Her mother denigrated all the material things she could not afford and did not have.

    My OMA told all her grandsons that if they wanted to know if they would be happy with a prospective bride over the years of marriage the boys should take a good look at the girl’s mother and maternal grandmother to see what they’d be living with over the years. We do become our parents in many ways

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