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soliek, based on the Jewish Week website, its rubbish. Totally unsubstantiated. They checked the records. Google it.
And the Holee of Holee (full of holes) hasnt said a word yet.
Wow. D Feldman and Simon and Schuster both got a good zetz in their teeth today, her offering a gooey piece of accusatory gossip as the truth, and S&S for being so sure about her “murder” story which was accusatory gossip, that they printed it, and now turns out to be false. And its not even Purim yet.
soliek, pardon me for being out of the loop, I must have missed your threads or posts. What is your book going to be about?
The interview on the View was somewhat factual (except for part about the Kletzky murderer being Chassidic, that was atrocious. She knows very well the murderer talked in the papers about eating Treif, etc, and we saw pics of his ex-wife, totally NOT Chassidish, far from). It was clearly designed to malign the entire community and make all Chassidim look like people left over from a long ago time capsule. It was painful to watch. Im not Chassidish but I have many Chassidish relatives and they have beautiful normal families. Youd never believe that could be possible by watching today’s program.
How does she not care that she is encouraging Anti-Semitism?
Last I checked, the writer who speaks of neccessary apologies, ought to begin the apologies here for talking down to and treating with disrespect anyone who disagrees with him. Ive never mentioned that I feel that way, others have on numerous occassions, though.
My friend, I believe those sentiments to be worthy of apology to the many CR members who have stated that they feel hurt that way.
AZ:
G-d forgives. You dont. Nice to know.
Now that youre advocating for the Lakewood Shadchanim, who can balance it and advocate for the many Rachmonusdik parents of girls in Shidduchim, and protect their feelings and interests?
In the name of people who have daughters on the market, and Ive spoken to many- from their experience, with very few exceptions, they feel the Lakewood Shadchanim focus on the “low lying fruit”. That involves the girl within a year or two of seminary, the guy within a year or two of Israel. Even those, often never get called back at all, after getting the hard to get appointment, and meeting and getting interviewed by the Shadchanim, after months of calls by parents for appointments. Many never get an appointment!!!!
Zeh Mah SheYaish, based on people who have daughters in the Parsha who have contacted or attempted to contact the well known Lakewood Shadchanim.
Touch of class, a store that sells highly expensive designer clothing in Brooklyn, caters to a narrow clientele (the rule), except when their stuff goes on sale, or smaller less expensive items (the exception). The bulk of what they bring in, suits, coats, dressy outfits, are not affordable to most. Is that Motzei Shem Ra?
Reality is reality, my friend.
I loved every minute of it. It was timed perfectly with the Shmutz book just written by a former Chassidista turned ______.
AZ,those people have been very succesful at bringing about significant change, and iy”h more is on the way.
stay tuned
AZ, were all waiting! Hopefully what comes next will be more palatable than the recent NASI offering which was nausea inducing for many normally very tolerant and easygoing ehrlich people.
GoLearnTorah, Id say- Mostly anyone who has abandoned any ship, become part of an opposing movement who want to point out and often exaggerate weaknesses and warts. This becomes their raison d’etre.
MaidofCH, what you wrote is so beautifully written, Id love to post it on my Facebook page, but that would give my identity away.
Oh well. ;(
I would have loved to hear her take on “Memoir called “Unorthodox” and its affect on us”. Her opinion is always so balanced.
Ive read up on some of what are her direct quotes. She says she sends her child to a Modern Orthodox school, but eats crab sandwiches. Huh?
What a list!
Allow me to go off on a tangent- I envy them all! Theyve got a tiny fraction of 30ish year old girls going through Gehenom in singledom, as the Litvishe do.
Whatever the Rebbes are doing in that area, theyre doing it right! Without the help of Nasi. They dont need it.
AZ, i simply help them.
Have you ever gotten any compensation of any kind (other than Mitvos) in return for such help?
Pardon my legal language. I think the innocent Oilem, all potential members, would want and benefit from such clarification. If you cant or dont want to answer this, then we already know the answer. Dont give me the “call them” answer. Thatll be a clarifying answer too.
YES or NO?
AZ, you are entitled to your opinion
Have you spoken to G-d about the definite success of the new NASI initiative? What has HE said to you to make you 100% sure about YOUR opinion? Has HE given you any guarantees?
The opinions you’ve formed are well intentioned.
Guaranteed!!!!?????, no way.
I havent had an experience where the calmest most easygoing people I know have gotten frazzled and shocked by anything, since this new NASI initiative. My opinion is that if the Nasi initiative is so expensive to run, it aint going nowhere unless they make loads of Shidduchim real quickly!
more, that’s why there’s a shidduch crisis. if pple adhere to halacha and not emotions then the men will be saved first according to halacha and we’ll have more of those creatures in the world.
Had your mother not have been saved, we’d have less deepthinkers like yourself ch”v.
Perhaps you ought to move to India where most female fetuses are aborted. They have no Shidduch crisis.
Feif Un, I agree with much of what you say. At this years AJOP conference held a few weeks ago, R’ Twersky from Milwaukee (the younger one) spoke to the huge crowd and said how funny it is that guys are embarassed to say theyre working. He repeated what he heard someone tell someone else- “I left Kollel recently, but dont worry, Im not working”. The crowd was rolling.
Here goes:
I think NASI should be disbanded in favor of Gedolim, Gedolim hopefuls and their Rebbetzins, offering five hours a week to meeting older singles and redding them Shidduchim. When a Gadol (sort of like EF Hutton) speaks, people (hopefully) listen. What it takes others weeks of researching/convincing, etc., a Gadol can do in one hour.
IF Nasi is credited with making 100 Shidduchim in any year (Halevei), at the charge of $500 each for those who arent the first 50 to join, that comes to $50,000 for that year. It might not make anyone “filthy rich”, but sure is nice jingle in one’s jeans.
Ideally, if they’d take that money and offer “free memberships” to poor older girls from large families, people would have less teinehs. Ads should be offered free by newspapers, to lessen the cost of running Nasi, and most of the costs should be undertaken on volunteer basis, leaving the bulk of the income for “free memberships”.
DY,
I know of shadchanim who try to focus on girls who didn’t just start dating, without any $ incentive.
You got me cackling like a goose. OBVIOUSLY they’re few and far between or we WOULDNT NEED THE NEW “HELPFUL” NASI INITIATIVE!!!
Now Im really ROTFL. Is this the cofee room or the comedy hour? I feel guilty laughing while the poorer girls out there are crying. Dont do this to me!
DY,
… most shadchanim are well meaning, and once their attention is placed on finding shidduchim for older girls, even the ones whose names are not on the list will be thought of.
I dont think you could sell that to even a five year old. That got me rolling. Better than barfing.
Will be thought of, perhaps, after ALL the girls on the list, older and younger, if they’re in the mood.
Also, most “girls” who are 22 and above have been working for a couple of years and have some money saved up.
MOST SHMOST! A nechtiger tug!
This is the most award winning inaccurate post of all the hundreds on this topic! Chassidishe girls who dont go to college, get f/t jobs straight out of school. NOT so with 95% of Litvishe girls.
1. Teachers are all penniless, always.
2. Many girls are still in college/masters programs, way into their mid-twenties, paying hefty tuitions from their small p/t salaries, if the programs theyre in allow them time to work at all! If they break even, theyre doing great.
BARF the 4th time.
And, no Im NOT feeling better, and neither are the hard-working/studying penniless girls, since this “helpful” (oy) initiative. Helpful in keeping them at the back of the line.
Is it possible that some Rabbonim backed NASI’s new initiative because they realize that the Shidduch matzav is Gehenom for girls, and better to do something, even if it’s clearly imperfect and counterproductive for some (leaving poor girls more behind than before), than do nothing?
NASI never said most can. DY isn’t NASI.
That legitimate point has bee addressed numberous times in this forum as well as other media. In fact a few of the rabbonim who endorse the program raised that very question. Only after hearing a very satisfactory resonse did they lend their endorsement to the program.
Can you please refresh our memories. I think many here would want to hear exactly how Rabbonim were satisfied with the Klal’s involvement in this, where the rich can afford it a lot easier than the poor, and will thereby give the poor very much less opportunities, if the NASI initiative ends up being a viable long term operation.
Thanks in advance.
DY,
Were you honestly pleased with those “takanos”?
How is Rabbonim signing a letter advocating an organization, drastically different than Rabbonim making Takanos? Either you like empowering Rabbonim and you like your life being controlled by Rabbonim (hopefully we all do), or you dont. What is this “pick and choose” tone youre employing here?
BPT, I had to log in to comment, even right before Shabbos.
Yes, how right you are! Many are too focused on the list of things a Shidduch HAS to have, and now, the list the single is on or isnt on! Outrageous! Power to you!
That will make them a better wife/mother? Oy vey.
AZ, Total transparency or not? Otherwise something is wrong somewhere. Names of each successful Shidduch publicized from Day 1!
No girls who were waiting for their Bashert for years and it finally came through the NASI initiative, would want to keep it a secret from other suffering older girls, and chas v shalom not do whatever they can to encourage more! Id personally bli-neder contribute to finding a poor girl a Shidduch, but only if I see total transparency! Others might want to as well! Dont discourage us! When people see a vital cause as successful, open and honest, they become very generous. You’ve got your finger on a vital cause, now all you have to be is successful, open and honest. May we ALL SEE results CLEARLY, b’Karov, with the help of Hashem.
Earlier, you wrote, “Good, smart, fine, accomplished older girls having to put out big big big bucks to get Shadchanim’s attention, is humiliating to the older girls.”, and now you want the names of those who put up the money to be “totally transparent”?
Without question! Once theyve found their basherte, theyre drowning in happiness and gratitude and wouldnt give a hoot to publicize it and thereby encourage others to do the same!
AZ,
Is NASI willing to be totally transparent to the Shadchanim and investors, offering names and dates of successful Shidduchim? (to atleast somehow guard against it becoming a mini Ponzi sceme).
I have an idea. Why don’t you start a similar program to NASI’s, with yours working on an honor system, and let’s see which one works better.
Ouch. Thats a sad commentary on your view of truth and commitment in our community. Possibly undeserved. (Barf, the third time)
AZ,
so your entire beef with this specific project is why does everyone need to “prepay” is that the toatlity of your complaint?
Is that what it’s about?
A nechtiger tug, just one of the many complaints.
But please address the distrust of the frum community by obligating ALL interested parties to prepay, even if its a minority who wont pay up after a Shadchan successfully completes a Shidduch.
DY,
paying more for a more difficult, time consuming job is not being victimized.
And where has trust gone? Has trust gone out the window among us? Are we assuming that there are many cases where people wont pay up (that it’s not a very rare occurence where people are stiffed)? Otherwise why the need for everyone to prepay?
DY,
Are you agreeing or disagreeing with my opinion that redting a shidduch with an older girl is more difficult than with a younger one?
Definitely. No one is denying it. BUT further victimizing the victims, is NOT the Torah way. Shadchan incentives should have come about from other means than the pockets of the already badly pained victims, and not be that steep! This is a bone in the throat of every sensitive person. Hard to tolerate.
A good shadchan does a lot more than just present a name (DY reply)
C’mon. No one is that out of touch.
Anyone who reads the papers knows what the Shadchan’s goal is, whether subtle or not, and one of their reason$ for pushing an older girl over a younger one (to some very much the Ikar unfortunately, to some the Tafel). If Shadchanim earning more money wouldnt be a great incentive to work harder for older girls, this initiative wouldnt have been created (barf) :-o. Nasi admits that. Boys and their mothers are very well aware of this.
You can talk til youre blue in the face, when a Shadchan calls to red an older girl, boys and mothers know what the Shadchan is up to, no matter how skillful the Shadchan is (the NASI initiative took the lishma and special Schar away from the Shadchan in exchange for $$$), proving to all how money-centric many in our community are, and how we allow it and even encourage it (barf again)!
DY,
I know they had one a couple of years ago
If it wasnt publicized on YW, it didnt happen! 😉
Seriously, this should be done monthly. Very easily financed by the people who make NY Hilton weddings and that crowd, etc. (if you know one, tell them so) or others with sympathy for older singles.