dunno is right

there is another thread like this

its called “new albums coming out”

mods- this one sould be closed and continued from there

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.

To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a

sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.

He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.

So he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’

The next day someone stole it!

They walk amongst us!

---

*One day I was walking down the beach with

some friends when someone shouted….

‘Look at that dead bird!’

Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?’

They walk among us!

---

While looking at a house, my brother asked the

real estate agent which direction was north because

he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’

My brother explained that the sun rises in the east

and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,

‘Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff….’

They Walk Among Us!

---

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,

when we overheard an admin girl talking about the

sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.

She drove down in a convertible, but said

she ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned

because the car was moving’..

They Walk Among Us!

---

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car

which is designed to cut through a seat belt

if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

---

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman

with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.

My friend said, ‘Ouch! The chain must rip

out every time she turns her head!”

I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear

remain the same distance apart no

matter which way the head is turned…

They Walk Among Us !

---

I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and.

went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and told me not to worry

because she was a trained professional and

said I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me,

‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…

(I work with professionals like this.)

They Walk Among Us!

---

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man

ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and

the cook asked him if he would like it cut

into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time

then said ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry

enough to eat 6 pieces.

They Walk Among Us!

And last, but not least:

Dumb as a box of Rocks

A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS, TRUE STORY:

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

‘Would you mind telling me, Doctor,’ she asked, ‘how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?’

‘Nothing is easier,’ he replied. ‘You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.’

‘What sort of question?’ asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?”

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, ‘You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.’

how about benny friedman and avraham fried?

did anyone here read aleph-shin?

was it any good?

is it worth buying?

a man was driving around town with a truckload of panguins.

a cop pulls him over and tells him”you cant drive around town with panguins,go take them to the zoo!”.

so the guy sais ok and they bolth leave.

the next day the same cop sees the man with the panguins again but this time the panguins are wearing sunglasses.

the cop pulls him over and sais to the man “didnt i tell you to bring them to the zoo?” so the man sais”yea,i did,and today we’re goin to the beach!!!”

to straighten things out:

wellinformedyid is 88

hadalxtp is 89

fulltimenews-theres no halves here-is 90

hie-bro is 91

seferkid613 is 92

and im 93 yay!!!!!!!!!

Lyrics:

Early days of younger years,

Full of childrens’ joys and fears,

Whether school or home,

always felt alone,

In a way,

what’s a child to do?

Days and months went rushing by,

Bar Mitzvah in a suit and tie,

And my loss still there,

much too deep to share,

In a way,

what’s a child to do?

But I know,

you were there the whole time,

Looking down,

from a window in heaven,

And your touch,

like the gentlest breeze,

Saying, I will remember you son

Even though

you could not shake my hand,

You looked down

from a window in heaven,

And your touch,

like the whisper of wings,

Saying, I will be there for you son,

in a way

Milestones of life flew by,

Couldn’t help but wonder why,

You had to go away,

I never heard you say, “oh my son”,

What’s a child to do?

At the Chupa we stood as one,

Being watched by everyone,

And the tears that flow,

both joy and sorrow,

For the One,

who’s not here with me now

But I know,

you were there the whole time,

Through each step

you were guiding me forward,

And your touch,

like a breath of fresh air,

Saying, I’ll always love you my son

Even though

you could not walk me down,

I could tell

you were standing beside me,

And your touch,

like the wisdom of old,

Saying, I am so proud of you son,

in a way

Now I hold him tenderly,

My baby son, for all to see,

I am overcome,

by my actions done, today

What’s a child to do?

My son will bear your name with pride,

Holding Zeide’s torch inside,

And the part of me,

which was so empty,

Is now full,

as I reach out to you

And I know

you were there the whole time,

Looking down,

from your place in Shomayim,

And your touch,

like a magical spell,

Is embracing me tightly right now

Even though

he was not on your knees,

You were here,

on a visit from heaven,

And your touch,

Like the sweetest of wine;

postsemgirl,i agree with you all the way!!!it gets me soo nervous when ppl make up words to a song.now i know im not the only person who reads the pamphlet it comes with!!

economic downturn – is when they lose money

recesion – is when you lose money

depresion – is when i lose money

my teacher was a tuna beigal.

she dressed very very in style and up to date so we thought she was normal litvish lady…

until we saw her with her husband on shabbas!!!

he had long peyos

a streimal

and a bekeshe

on!!!!!while she was walking next to him with her bcbg 3 1/5 inch heels!!!!

what about girl and boy first cousins talking in a group just having a normal discussion?

not a one on one.

i dont know.

i never heard that b4 but you can do it.

it will probably sound nice!

your welcome.

glad you enjoyed.

mama rochel wins of course

but second best is av harachamim from dovid gabays first album

ilon from shwekeys newest album is also touching

eternity which shwekey sang on the oorah cd a few years ago is buetiful

moishele that lipa sang for the mambai kedoshim is moving too

awesome concert!!!

how shwekey sang for 2.5 hours is beyond me!!!his voice at the end was as powerful as his voice in the beginning. all his songs were great and all the guest performers were great too.abie rotenberg was funny.he described how he missed all his flights that day and just drove to the theatre!!!the songs came out great even without a rehearsal!!the end of the concert was very insperational.the cast sung rachem for 2 of shwekeys sick freinds and by the last medely they brought up some kids from the speical childrens center to dance on stage!!!!

well worth every penny i spent!!!!