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Right! And if you do it to his sister, he will kill you.
I don’t think DY’s scenario makes it any better. All it changes is the motivation to do these tricks.
But having a “good” motivation doesn’t really help. It is wrong to play with someone else’s emotions to advance your interests even if those interests are to not look picky.
You are dealing with another person, who is being nice to you, and considering marrying you, and is emotionally involved in the affair. Manipulating the other for your gain is very wrong, and I am shocked at DY’s laissez faire attitude about it.
I have a better idea: tell the guy on the date, that you want to say no, but that you don’t want to look picky. Don’t worry, he’ll say no for you, and drive you home right then and there.
Bear: please explain the smicha reference
Yes, you can click on the “RSS feed” button on the bottom, right above the reply box.
Oh, and let’s flip the story.
If I found out a guy had done this to my sister–I would round up my brothers and hunt him down and give it to him the old fashioned way.
And tell everyone in the world.
Sure, and I understand why people would want to kill people and steal their money and wives.
DY: You could just as easily say that people would want to do it because it is uncomfortable to be the one saying no. That’s no less or more of a good reason than not wanting to appear picky to the shadchan.
If I thought someone was doing this to me, I would tell every shadchan I know and every friend of mine about it. It would be l’toeles.
I think I will forever regret not having written that story.
The point of school is to get an education. It’s absurd to defend a school system that doesn’t educate because the deprived students can always educate themselves.
I suspect the communities in question would dispute that as the purpose of their school system. They would probably say the purpose is to teach Torah.
What Averiah is it to visit a wounded solider in the Hospital. last I checked Bikor Cholim was a Mitzvah
That’s a strawman and you know it. Nobody wants thousands of people visiting wounded soldiers–least of all the wounded soldiers.
But if you must, the chareidim would love to send lev l’achim to visit and be mekarev all the wounded soldiers.
And zaka doesn’t need or want another 10,000 people.
Eretz Yisroel belongs to all of us
Exactly and when you live with everybody you have to accept the laws of the land, whatever they are. If you dont like the laws you can either have them changed , live somewhere else or try to live with those laws.
What lunacy is this?
You don’t have a right to come to my land, and impose anti-torah laws on me! And then have the gall to tell ME to leave?
The laws of Eretz Yisroel are the Torah. If you don’t like that, you should leave. Or you can just wait for the Torah’s prophecy to come true, that the land will vomit you.
I’m amazed at how you think. Amazed.
That would be a third question, actually.
Torah613:
I don’t think we know what the question is anymore. Originally you asked about where “you want the boy to say no”. Now you seem to be changing it. Why don’t you open a new thread and ask the question how you want.
If you dont like the rules of a certain country, You are always free to leave.
We should leave? Maybe you shouldn’t come and impose your tzionishe nonsense on our land. Eretz Yisroel belongs to all of us, and if you demand control of it, you should run it in a manner that is acceptable to everyone.
Especially where that everyone happens to be the people who live according to the Torah.
Absolutely unacceptable. If you want to break up, you need to just say so. It is unfair to play with people’s emotions like that.
If you don’t have the guts to say no, you aren’t ready to date.
I think you meant to ask: when does your wife set the shabbos table?
I don’t care; as long as its set when I get home from shul, and isn’t set yet when I sit there friday afternoon and scratch my armpits.
One of my mashgichim used to talk about guys who are “illiterate in 3 languages.”
DY: Yes, thank you for clarifying that. He undoubtedly means the one you are referring to.
These are stores owned by GOYIM, not owned by jews.
Well, frequently they are owned by jews, but there is a non-jewish partner who owns it for shabbos.
blah blah blah
I have no idea if he is guilty. He had due process, so society should put him in jail.
The folks arguing he is innocent are nuts–you have no idea. Yes, the evidence was weak, but probably he was guilty.
The folks gleeful he is in jail are also nuts. You have no idea if he is guilty.
/blah blah blah
Sure, but it is a personal question that should be made based on information.
Ask your local orthodox rabbi.
This is a good place to ask. You can see there was already good information put forward.
They should just give up and call for new elections.
Ah, Rabbi Shechter. He is a son in law of Rabbi Steinberg, and is the one who is machshir all the places in Queens that are open on shabbos.
The Vaad of Queens will not certify anyone who is open on shabbos. People who live in Queens may wish to support the vaad, its monopoly (which I think is a good thing), and its policies by not patronizing stores which don’t use the vaad.
I don’t live in Queens, so I don’t need to be involved in their politics. I eat from his establishments, with gusto.
whose smicha is valid only after shkia
I don’t get the reference. Tell us more.
I like bagels.
How about you tell us what the hechsher is, and we’ll tell you whether we personally rely on it (if we’ve heard of it).
GAW: ok.
inEY: Perhaps the first question should be: Do you identify as ashkenazi chareidi?
Won’t make a difference. The only way to speed up the process is to gun the engine. (Some people might advise against gunning a cold car)
This entire thread is based on a false premise.
This entire thread is based on a false premise.
The false premise is that the good girls are “grabbing up” more than one guy.
I’m a bit bothered by the way you are asking this question in the objective–almost as if there is a right way and a wrong way, and that you think there is a possibility that a guy in shidduchim must be clean shaven or he is violating some inyan in hishtadlus.
yevamos
It was 70.4%
Veltz M has a good suggestion. You should do that.
It is very inapropriate for a bas yisroel to be working with men. A true frum girl should find herself a teaching job and leave the money making up to Hashem.
That is not the opinion of the gedolim that I rely on.
I also want to mention that this is not a segulah like the witchcraft that people sometimes do.
The purpose of this is quite clear: to remind you that Hashem provides for us, and that we need to turn to Him for our parnassah–the same way we turned to Him and He provided for us in the midbar.
So I said it. And posted about it on here.
I always wondered what Haman had to do with having a parnassah. And why it wouldn’t make more sense to say it on purim.
But hey, if it works…
Ok, now it’s time to tell us what happened.
Come now. Don’t be mad at the school. It isn’t such a big deal. Take a minor role, and just play nicely with others.
Lady: If you’re actually considering sabotaging your job over this, you ought to ask your rav first if that makes any sense.
And make sure he knows that it is the standard in almost every business office in America.
The standard in the business world is to call people by their first name. It doesn’t connote anything weird or “family-like” about the office.
If your chossen/husband is so opposed…too bad he will just have to give in. Remember, it’s the binah yesairah in a marriage that makes it work.
Oh my. I assume by “making it work”, you mean “getting divorced”.
In non-frum circles, it isn’t expected that people make large weddings with all of their friends. They don’t need to know.
I’d say, don’t invite any of them.
Work from home.
Most jobs I know require you to work from home (unless you can stay overnight every night at the office).
Are you saying dressing without “class” is inappropriate? And what does “inappropriate” mean in this context?
I agree with OOM.
I think you are confusing the standards for bnei torah, and the standards for anyone else.
I read the OP like DY, with a slight twist.
The first choice is “frum” and obviously includes MO.
The second choice is MO/conservative, which is a term apparently coined by the OP for lack of better term, to refer to the 5th column which call themselves (Open) Orthodox in an attempt to fool people, but are essentially the conservative of the 1950’s.
BL, GAW,
Another significant difference is that in halacha, it was the rabbonim who decided when to grab money from the rich folks. In America, it is the poor people themselves deciding to take money from the rich folks.
Halivai we’d have Robinhood. It’s stealing from the rich and keeping it for myself that I have a problem with.
That’s interesting.
Because of the Debt Overhang. Google it.
Basically, even if they can get financing for the deal, and it is a good deal, the equity holders might end up with less than they were before because the added benefit is going to the debtholders.
For example:
Suppose there is 40m of debt. And currently there is a 50% chance they will have 60 and a 50% chance they will have 10 (and go bankrupt).
Now, they have opportunity to invest 30 in a sure deal that will make 40. So they should really borrow 30 and to that deal.
But they won’t do it.
Because what would the new debtholders ask for? They will ask for high enough interest that it will be worth it to take the risk, since even though the deal is a sure thing, in the bad state of the world, the other senior debtholders are going to take most of the money and leave them with only 10–a loss of 20. So we will need to promise to double that loss in the good state and give them 50!
Now, what do the equity holders get? Currently, in the good state of the world, they will have 20 left after paying the debt and in the bad state will have nothing, so their chances are worth 10.
But if they do the deal, then in the good state of the world, they will have 60+40 and need to pay back 40+50, so will have 10 left. But in the bad state of the world, their chances are only worth 5!
The intuition is that the added value is going to the debtholders–not to the equity. And who do you think makes decisions? The equity.