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  • in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664393
    ronrsr
    Member

    in the olden days, didn’t they just bring in more boys from Poland?

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664388
    ronrsr
    Member

    I have the greatest sympathy for people who wish to be married and can not marry, due to a shortage of the opposite sex.

    But, this doesn’t sound like that problem. This sounds like a question of either 1) changing standards on the part of the young women (they wish to marry “white collar” workers); or 2) We have a generation where there are many more accomplished girls than the previous generation.

    Will our making more shidduchim help the problem? If there si still a shortage of spouses that meet expectations, then making a shidduch will only take one boy out of the boy pool, and one girl out of the girl pool, still leaving us with the initial problem.

    Is the problem, really, that we have honored the kollel boys too much, and the working boys too little? Have we passed this attitude on to our daughers? There is nothing ignoble or unholy about honest manual labor. After all, if your toilet is backed up,

    who do you call? The rabbi, or the plumber?

    A more realistic solution would be to match girls with higher expectations with charming and hardworking boys, so they can see that such a match may be for them.

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664353
    ronrsr
    Member

    the title of this thread just reminds me of a Smokey The Bear poster with Smokey pointing at you and saying, “Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires.”

    Perhaps a mascot is needed? Shmuelik the Shadchan Squirrel – “only you can make a match today.”

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664352
    ronrsr
    Member

    oh, that is a problem.

    Perhaps it is best for all to learn that you can’t shop for a shidduch like you shop for a dress.

    Here’s my story, which I am reposting from another topic, since it’s relevant here, too:

    Shortly before I met the woman who would become my wife, I heard a shadchan speak. He said his job had become much more difficult in the last 20 years, since people started giving him a shopping list: “I want a man over six feet tall, with a full head of hair, definitely not a republican, etc. . . . “

    He said this had made his job much more difficult, since people a priori excluded so many possible matches, giving him a much smaller pool to choose from.

    He also made the point that most successful shidduchim before that time were people that the two parties would not have selected, given a list of characteristics beforehand.

    I heard him talk, and said to myself, at least I am not like that, I don’t have a shopping list. But still, I decided to be more open-minded and try to do away with the few preconceptions I had.

    Whether I did or not is unclear, but a few weeks later, I met my intended, now my wife. I knew after a week or two that she was meant for me, and within a month I knew we would eventually marry. It was just a feeling I had, she felt right, and everything felt right.

    But, if you had presented her to me as a list of attributes ahead of time — well, she’s short, she’s from Russia, and a few other things I would have perhaps nixed.

    But, she also has kindness and compassion, love and an infectious laugh, and a bounty of other things that make up for the attributes I didn’t much care for.

    So, here is my special formula:

    1. Listen to a famous shadchan speak.

    2. Laugh at the shadchan’s advice, and believe that it doesn’t really apply to you.

    3. Go out and meet the right person.

    We have been married almost five weeks now, and they said it wouldn’t last.

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664348
    ronrsr
    Member

    >>>What do you say about reinstating polygamy<<<

    That would revive the old marriage conundrum: One wife is both too many, and not enough.

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664346
    ronrsr
    Member

    AZ – thanks for the answer.

    I have a followup question, of course: What is believed to be the cause of it? Is it the simple fact that there are more girls than boys born, and more reach maturity? Or are there other reasons? boys marrying out of the faith? Higher mortality rates on boys than girls? More boys than usual not wishing to get married?

    Why is it a crisis now? What happened to change this from normalcy to crisis.

    Thanks in advance for the answer.

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664339
    ronrsr
    Member

    what, precisely, is the crisis in shidduchs today? How does it differ from the past?

    in reply to: Funny or Interesting Vanity Plates #700733
    ronrsr
    Member

    anonforthis – does he have a massachusetts license plate?

    in reply to: Funny or Interesting Vanity Plates #700730
    ronrsr
    Member

    I recently saw “MOHEL” in Brighton, Massachusetts

    in reply to: College, Secular Studies & Judaism #1169500
    ronrsr
    Member

    Money, by itself, is not such a great motivator, though we are quick to think that it is the sole motivator of others. People who do things ONLY for money, tend not to do them so well.

    Other motivators are: prestige, power, satisfaction, love, approval, romance, food, etc.

    The absolute best motivations are usually combinations of those motivators.

    My dear grandfathers knew this, and would frequently reward my good behaviors and learning successes with a small cash gift PLUS a kiss and a pat on the head, a few kind words of approval, acceptance and loving, and a small gift of sweet food.

    That combination created a motivator for learning far more powerful than money alone. That continues to this day. I learn new things because I wish to, and get satisfaction from just knowing things, and I subconsciously recall the love, acceptance and gifts from my grandfathers.

    in reply to: Funny Bumper Stickers #1163595
    ronrsr
    Member

    Defeat Osama, Obama, and Chelsea’s mama!

    Vegetarian – old Indian word for “Lousy Hunter.”

    Good. We have a new president. No more wars or stupid spending.

    Will work for fuel.

    Ambition is a poor excuse not to be lazy.

    For fast relief, take two tablets (drawing of Moses holding up 10 commandments.)

    Amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

    I thought about being an atheist, but there weren’t enough holidays.

    and my recent favorite:

    Bumperstickers are frivolous.

    in reply to: The Right One #662058
    ronrsr
    Member

    Shortly I met the woman who would become my wife, I heard a shadchan speak. He said his job had become much more difficult in the last 20 years, since people started giving him a shopping list: “I want a man over six feet tall, with a full head of hair, definitely not a republican, etc. . . . “

    He said this had made his job much more difficult, since people a priori excluded so many possible matches, giving him a much smaller pool to choose from.

    He also made the point that most successful shidduchim before that time were people that the two parties would not have selected, given a list of characteristics beforehand.

    I heard him talk, and said to myself, at least I am not like that, I don’t have a shopping list. But still, I decided to be more open-minded and try to do away with the few preconceptions I had.

    Whether I did or not is unclear, but a few weeks later, I met my intended, now my wife. I knew after a week or two that she was meant for me, and within a month I knew we would eventually marry. It was just a feeling I had, she felt right, and everything felt right.

    But, if you had presented her to me as a list of attributes ahead of time — well, she’s short, she’s from Russia, and a few other things I would have perhaps nixed.

    But, she also has kindness and compassion, love and an infectious laugh, and a bounty of other things that make up for the attributes I didn’t much care for.

    So, here is my special formula:

    1. Listen to a famous shadhan speak.

    2. Laugh at the shadchan’s advice, and believe that it doesn’t really apply to you.

    3. Go out and meet the right person.

    We have been married almost five weeks now, and they said it wouldn’t last.

    in reply to: Funny Bumper Stickers #1163594
    ronrsr
    Member

    If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

    in reply to: The Shabbos Goy #1135016
    ronrsr
    Member

    how can you know that? Could be a tribemember of the lost tribes. Are DNA tests required? What do you do about the descendants of converts who reconverted?

    in reply to: The Right One #662021
    ronrsr
    Member

    for a dinner party?

    in reply to: Meaningful Secular Weddings in Israel #661577
    ronrsr
    Member

    I am reminded of a story of the Baal Shem Tov who greets three men returning from a wedding. “How was the wedding,” he asks.

    The first man says that the food was delightful and tasty.

    “You were not at a wedding,” he is told.

    The second man describes the wild and ecstatic dancing.

    “You were not at a wedding,” he is told.

    The third man returns and says, “Thank goodness those two people found each other and got together.”

    “Now, YOU were at a wedding,” he is told.

    Let’s not forget the really important message of the wedding invitation. Two people, against all odds, have found each other, and now wish to spend the rest of their lives together, as husband and wife.

    in reply to: Funny Bumper Stickers #1163591
    ronrsr
    Member

    Sticks and stones are hard on bones,

    aimed with angry art

    words can sting like anything,

    but silence breaks the heart.

    -Phyllis Mcgenlee

    in reply to: Drinking On SImchas Torah #661950
    ronrsr
    Member

    because it makes a mess on the floor when thrown over the mechitza. Or, it ruins someone’s dress.

    in reply to: YOU can Resolve the Shidduch Crisis #664326
    ronrsr
    Member

    Yossi, describe your brother, and we will suggest matches.

    in reply to: College, Secular Studies & Judaism #1169453
    ronrsr
    Member

    <<<<< us to distance ourselves from the Goyim in every way…<<<<

    further, how can we serve as light unto the nations if we separate ourselves from those nations?

    in reply to: Funny Bumper Stickers #1163588
    ronrsr
    Member

    I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk! – Homer Simpson

    I have the answer in my head, I just haven’t found it yet

    Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey.

    If everything is coming your way you’re in the wrong lane!

    Excuse me… have you seen my sanity… I think I lost it.

    Do not envy the one you admire most, instead, try to make yourself one that can be envied

    TO PLANT A GARDEN IS TO BELIEVE IN TOMORROW

    and my all time favorite (it’s a bit arcane, of a geological bent) –

    REUNITE GONDWANALAND

    in reply to: Eruv in Brooklyn #761324
    ronrsr
    Member

    also, there is a phone line with an answering machine that gives the latest status.

    in reply to: Funny Bumper Stickers #1163585
    ronrsr
    Member

    Driver carries only $20.00 in ammunition

    Nothing inside worth dying for.

    Your Kid May Be An Honor Student, But You’re Still Dumb.

    I Just Got A Gun For My Wife – Best Trade I Ever Made.

    now dated:

    I wish I lived in New York so I could vote against Hillary.

    in reply to: Funny Bumper Stickers #1163584
    ronrsr
    Member

    Free Michelle Obama!

    Don’t crash this party.

    Falling Muffler Zone.

    Yes, it is a Pinto, No, this is not as fast as I can go.

    Someone stuck my car onto this bumper sticker.

    What is the meaning of life? (answer on front bumper)

    I wasn’t put on earth to test your reflexes.

    Don’t follow me, I lose all sense of direction when drunk.

    No brakes, get as close as you like.

    Oink if you’re a road hog.

    New member: Kamikaze club.

    in reply to: Eruv in Brooklyn #761322
    ronrsr
    Member

    also, there is a phone line with an answering machine that gives the latest status.

    in reply to: Eruv in Brooklyn #761321
    ronrsr
    Member

    In the boston area, the statuses of the various Eruv’s are posted on the web before Shabbats and Yom Tovs.

    in reply to: Eruv in Brooklyn #761320
    ronrsr
    Member

    >>my rebbe, R. Shlomo Drillman z”l was steadfast in his opposition to it.

    what were your rebbe’s objections?

    in reply to: Meaningful Secular Weddings in Israel #661576
    ronrsr
    Member

    that’s too bad. In all fairness to the Tzohar rabbis, the invitations usually go out BEFORE the first meeting with the rabbi, and it’s possible they didn’t yet know better.

    Many Israelis are polarized by the battle between the religious and the secular in Israel, and have come to consider religion required by law as intrusions into their lives.

    This seems to be exactly the rift that Tzohar wants to mend.

    in reply to: Gifts For Simchas #661413
    ronrsr
    Member

    not sure if it has to do with love. Maybe it’s me. Perhaps I need to learn to accept the gift in the spirit given. Both my mother and my cousin love me, I have no doubt. I just feel a bit guilty that the cousin’s gift was so large, because I believe she could not afford it.

    Oh well, nothing to do but write her an effusively thankful thank you card, I suppose.

    in reply to: Fun Words #923718
    ronrsr
    Member

    Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you

    absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

    Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

    Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

    Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a

    proctologist immediately before he examines you.

    Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your

    soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

    in reply to: Fun Words #923717
    ronrsr
    Member

    Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

    Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you

    have gained.

    Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after

    you are run over by a steamroller.

    Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

    Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with

    Yiddish expressions.

    Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat

    stomach.

    Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    in reply to: Yeshivah Boy in a Co-ed College #661689
    ronrsr
    Member

    I don’t know of any university that doesn’t offer single-gender dorms, if requested.

    in reply to: Fun Words #923711
    ronrsr
    Member

    we had some gulls over our succah, but they were too gullible?

    in reply to: Fun Words #923709
    ronrsr
    Member

    Aloha oy!

    (Love; greetings; farewell; from such a pain you should never know)

    and, for your amusement, famous telephone answering machine messages:

    “You have reached the offices of Dr. Jekyll. Thank you for your patience during our transition.”

    “You have reached Weight Watchers. If this is an emergency, press the pound sign now.”

    in reply to: Fun Words #923707
    ronrsr
    Member

    Don’t incorrige me, I’m incorrigible.

    in reply to: Fun Words #923706
    ronrsr
    Member

    mshandle — call a woman by the wrong name

    in reply to: Fun Words #923705
    ronrsr
    Member

    Habit-forming – a compulsion to make clothing for nuns.

    Hannah – biblical character from the book of Palindromes.

    Hamster – a gentile.

    Hex – Yiddish symbol used to mark the spot.

    Hello – the official gelatin of Mexico.

    Hunchback – Notre Dame football player who relies on his intuition.

    Hexagon – Italian exorcism.

    Herring – teutonic bar mitzvah.

    Housebreaking – to toilet-train a burglar.

    in reply to: Meaningful Secular Weddings in Israel #661571
    ronrsr
    Member

    Thank you, Jax.

    There is more info on the web at http://www.tzhohar.org.il

    Did I mention that until recently, the services of Tzohar rabbis was free of charge? I think they just recently started accepting fees, due to a dose of financial reality.

    If the rabbi ever considers retiring from officiating at weddings, he could have a second career as a badchan.

    in reply to: Yeshivah Boy in a Co-ed College #661636
    ronrsr
    Member

    what do you mean by “belong?”

    in reply to: Yeshivah Boy in a Co-ed College #661635
    ronrsr
    Member

    Yes.

    in reply to: Music – Musical Instruments #668396
    ronrsr
    Member

    frumpet?

    in reply to: Fun Words #923700
    ronrsr
    Member

    Yisra-ale – top-fermenting beer made in the Holy land.

    in reply to: Bochurim Hitching Rides on Avenue M #661498
    ronrsr
    Member

    <<I have been taking rides for FIVE years and i never got kidnapped and i don’t know anyone who did>>

    As the man who jumped off the Empire State Building said as he passed the second floor:

    “So far, so good.”

    in reply to: Fun Words #923699
    ronrsr
    Member

    Cross-fresser – one who eats a dairy meal, then goes across town immediately and eats a meat meal.

    in reply to: Gifts For Simchas #661411
    ronrsr
    Member

    I was just married a month ago, so I would like to offer a few fresh perspectives.

    1. Cash gifts are wonderful, and always the right color. We are older, and each had our separate households, so we’re all set in the chotchkes and appliance department. In fact, if you would come to our house and take some of our surplus chotchkes, that would make a wonderful gift.

    2. Please do not bring the gifts to the reception — it is too easy for them to get lost, and it is just another thing for the newlyweds to keep track of on a busy day. Etiquette books tell you this, and I have been trying to convince my new bride of this for a few years. Now that she has had the experience, she finally agrees with me.

    We have some generous friends who I am pretty sure sent a gift, but we did not receive it. This puts us in an embarrasing position. It would be rude to ask directly, and rude not to send an acknowledgment. I did send a card thanking them for their attendance, and thanking him for standing by as ‘backup witness’, in case one of the two witnesses got writer’s cramp.

    3. Don’t send perishable or time-sensitive items, unless you are delivering them yourself.

    My brother sent 150 roses for our reception from Florida, where he lives. He shipped them by overnight mail, and he waited for them to be delivered all day. They were actually delivered about 10 days later, and had lost some of their, um, beauty, in the interim. Fortunately, he can get a refund for the postage, which was substantial, and possibly an insurance payment for part of the cost of the flowers from the postal insurance.

    I was very touched by his gesture, but I felt awful that he was waiting for the delivery here, and the flowers wouldn’t have matched our tablecloths or decor at the reception. He was very disappointed, and that detracted a bit from our joy on that day.

    One other thought:

    One cousin sent a very large cash gift. She is not doing well financially, and I know that this gift represents perhaps a half-week’s salary for her. That makes me feel a bit guilty. I can’t return it, so all I can really do is feel bad about it, and be extra-nice to her the next time I see her.

    My mother gave us a huge gift, 50 times the size of this cousin’s gift. But, she’s my mother, she’s been waiting and saving for this, she derived a huge amount of personal satisfaction from giving the gift, etc., and she can afford it.

    So, it’s not the size or monetary value of the gift that counts, but rather the feeling, and I still get a twinge of guilt or something, when thinking of the gift the cousin gift.

    in reply to: Roll On Antiperspirant on Shabbos and YT – mutar? #659603
    ronrsr
    Member

    this stuff works better!!! The commercial, scented deodorants are sold to you as better, but the only effective ingredient in them is a basic antiseptic or antibacterial, which sells for a fraction of the cost of commercial deodorants.

    in reply to: Roll On Antiperspirant on Shabbos and YT – mutar? #659600
    ronrsr
    Member

    almost any mild antiseptic or antibacterial will do the trick. As long as it doesn’t irritate your skin or make a mess.

    in reply to: Refinancing / Mortgaging To Make A Chasunah?!? #659183
    ronrsr
    Member

    no, they were limousines every bit as nice as the limo rental. Same make and everything.

    in reply to: Refinancing / Mortgaging To Make A Chasunah?!? #659180
    ronrsr
    Member

    I didn’t know that about the dowry. Can I go back and negotiate retroactively?

    in reply to: Refinancing / Mortgaging To Make A Chasunah?!? #659179
    ronrsr
    Member

    yes, when we were looking to give some tzedekah for our wedding, we looked at the possibility of sponsoring a wedding in Eretz Yisrael, perhaps one the same day as ours. The cost of one of those weddings was higher than our wedding! My bride was reticent to sponsor a wedding much nicer than our own. She felt more comfortable sponsoring something more practical, like kitchen utensils, etc., for a new bride.

    One thing I noticed, too, is that when you are shopping for simcha components, the price goes way up when you mention the word WEDDING.

    We told the hotel where some of our guests were staying that it was a family reunion (well, it was that, also!)

    When I needed some rented transportation for a friend’s wedding a few years ago, I called a limo service that specializes in weddings, and I also called a funeral director who had a few nice cars usually reserved for mourners.

    Guess which one was 1/2 the price of the other?

Viewing 50 posts - 1,501 through 1,550 (of 1,596 total)