abcd2

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  • in reply to: What would you do…? #928430
    abcd2
    Participant

    Yes I am still staying by my suggestions either Rabbi and Rebbetzin Jungreis 718 951 7770 or OHR Naava 718.647.6228(If Rabbi Wallerstien is unavailable someone by OHR Naava office should still be able to help and guide you appropriately). For the communication issues (family and with teacher) you are describing Rabbi Jungreis is an expert in this and can quickly help establish more open communication and can help make a narrowing of the divide you are describing that has come between you and your parents.(The two Rabbis could work together as well)

    As I am sure you are aware hundreds of frum teenaged and married women benefit from what Ohr Naava offers whether it be nightly shiruim, hashkafa question and answer sessions or gym and kickboxing etc.. Regardless of whom you choose to help remedy your situation find out what Ohr Naava has to offer for you.

    in reply to: How to Stop Nail Biting??? #944464
    abcd2
    Participant

    There is a product called mavala or mavala stop(there are also others like it)it is highly rated by many reviewers you can just google ‘Mavala stop’ its between 10-20 dollars and available from many web retailers

    in reply to: What would you do…? #928428
    abcd2
    Participant

    As not knowing you or the side of the story from the other person involved,I can only emphasize that these people are not nogea bidavar and will not have preconceived notions of you. However you will have to make the first step or you will just not be able to rid yourself of the issues you are dealing with.

    Aside from the school issue I can virtually guarantee that with the help of Hashem The Rabbi and Rebbetzin I suggested will help restore your support base at home even if your school issue cant be resolved just yet.Additionally I suggest again to be involved in a more positive atmosphere by perhaps partcipating in OhR Naava events or at least speaking to their staff as they should be able to lift your spirits.

    Most importantly if the Rabbi and Rebbetzin or OHR Naava cannot help you they will be honest with you and guide you to who can and not waste your time.

    in reply to: What would you do…? #928426
    abcd2
    Participant

    superme-

    I hope you realize the posters here(myself included) are not minimizing the feelings of mistrust and insecurity you are writing about regarding authority figures and people that should really be there to help but instead did the opposite.

    It is normal to be afraid of being burned again but please,just because one/ some people made mistakes don’t condemn everyone as ill- equipped to help.

    Many times we put excuses in front of ourselves such as the fear of disappointment (Other popular defense mechanisms against seeking help are I’ll be a bother , they wont help anyway,nobody knows what I really want …).

    From the way you are describing things you need assistance or your choice is to remain upset and confused.

    Additionally,it is natural to feel unpleasant about turning to others for help.In reality most people are more then happy to help another person in distress.

    This is your life, by reaching out to seek assistance you are actually empowering yourself for the better.

    2)Not suggesting “mentoring” but I promise that Asay Licha Rav & Ukine Licha Chaver was not just meant for a teenager in crisis. As mentioned above everyone in life has situations that requires consultations with Rabbonim friends doctors teachers etc…

    I promise the people you consult with will view you as a valuable member of Klal Yisrael and as a person not as a case number in need of a mentoring emergency.

    P.S. I will admit that(whether whom I suggested or someone else) there is a possibility that one of those people that help you through this might actually become a mentor for you 🙂

    3)Focus on the positives! When dealing with a stressful situation it can take away a perspective of what is going good in life. Please try to enjoy the rest of your mid winter break.

    in reply to: What would you do…? #928424
    abcd2
    Participant

    Despite your negative experiences Rabbis do not bite. These are topics that can be and should be discussed in an open conversation.

    As you are not yet an adult (and perhaps even if you were) A Rabbi or for that matter anyone would be reluctant to give you advice without knowing the whole story. Even as I wrote my post I must admit it is difficult to comment without knowing both sides of a story,however I am taking you at your word that your teacher is treating you in an unbecoming manner and embarrassing you.

    You will have to disclose your name,and they will keep it confidential.

    From the names above I would choose Rabbi Jungreis as he speaks very much about Emunah and is very non-judgemental and will work to resolve the situation and can help very much to repair the rift you are describing with your parents.Additionally the Rabbi and his Rebbetzin who can have advice for you as well have been involved in education(they had a Yeshiva) for fifty years as well as kiruv work. 718-951-0737

    My next suggestion would be contacting Ohr Naava as they can also try to serve as a strong base for you socially and spiritually or at the very least direct you the right way 718.OHR.NAAVA (718.647.6228)Rabbi Wallerstein and staff are great people

    You are to be commended for trying to seek help may you have much Mazel

    in reply to: What would you do…? #928421
    abcd2
    Participant

    you should find out who your teachers Rabbi is(where he davens)as this issue is more then you can handle, but needs to be addressed by someone your teacher respects.

    Look up the number in the phone book or walk over to the shule after tefilla After you describe the situation to his Rav perhaps suggest a meeting between him his Rav yourself and your parents.

    Also regarding your own questions if you feel comfortable enough you can speak to your own Rabbi or Rebbetzin of your Shule that is what they are their for.

    So sorry you are going through such a stressful time.

    P.S.If the above does not work there are a few people that you can talk to regarding your many questions and also will find a way to reach out to your teacher all the following are accessible and have listed numbers

    Rabbi Yaakov Salomon at Aish, Rabbi Wallerstein with Ohr Naava (you can just head over to Ohr naava if you live in brooklyn),

    Rabbi Yaakov/Jacob Jungreis

    Rabbi Chaim Cohen (Rov of ger shteible and a dayan)

    Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser

    Aside from all being well equipped to guide you they can also help facilitate a resolution, as the situation you describe is intolerable and should not last another day

    Hatzlacha!

    in reply to: Looking for info on Montreal #925097
    abcd2
    Participant

    Tzaddiq A huge portion of the populace dislikes outsiders especially Jews

    mammalee is right that unfortunately many have gotten a bit oblivious

    Who voted these people in? The people in Quebec

    Instead of writing a whole page anyone in the coffeeroom can just look up Bill 101 on google or how the party tried banning public displays in various settings of religous wear except for the cross and many other instances over the years of overt xenophobia.

    in reply to: Looking for info on Montreal #925093
    abcd2
    Participant

    Tzaddiq-While I disagree with the way berliner wrote about montreal,(certainly comments about Yeshivas and Rabbonim) it is known the Quebeckers dislike most outsiders and the term xenophobic is a constant whenever someone describes them.

    Your quote speaks volumes “long as you are polite and speak in french and show you are nice you dont have any problems”

    Unless there is strong family or business reason I do not know why by choice someone would want to live in a place where the general populace dislikes you.

    in reply to: Jacob Lew, Orthodox Jew? #918950
    abcd2
    Participant

    yim-Why not assume that maybe Lew will help things get better?

    in reply to: How to stop a very, very stubborn case of lice #918473
    abcd2
    Participant

    liceconsultant.com

    The above homepage has many free suggestions and was started by the first frum nit picker Abigail Rosenfeld.

    The frum women who run this were featured in many Jewish and non Jewish publications.

    Phone numbers of Frum female lice checkers are on the homepage as well. A few families I know of were helped by them Hatzlacha

    in reply to: The Jewish Press #917958
    abcd2
    Participant

    A) that quote has been attributed to many people Reb Yaakov probably would not speak that way.

    B)There are many Torah personalities that

    contribute to the Jewish press (more so then ever before)if you are denigrating the paper as a whole you are including them as well

    C)Saying they are on the left of most religious issues is very harsh and unjustified and borders on lashon Hara

    as Rabbi Klass who founded the paper was a tzaddik and highly regarded by many Gedolim

    in reply to: Nursing or Social Work??? #915985
    abcd2
    Participant

    Whichever field you choose you must A) Have Mazel and Bracha from Hashem B)Be happy C)Do your hishtadlus by picking something that is viable

    I assume as a guy you might like cars and driving cars. However you would never consider being a full time parking lot attendant just so you get to drive different cars every day.

    You might however take those interests and become a car salesman or invest in a dealership turning your likes into a possibly viable career.

    There is nothing wrong about being realistic about needing to make money.True Hashem can bring a windfall but Ain Somchin Al Hanes,you cannot rely on miracles.

    To answer your other query strictly differences in salary Biderech Hateva you will make more money as a nurse for at least the first five years after obtaining a masters,and in most cases will not have the same amount in student loan debt.

    In order to exceed a nurses salary as a social worker(including getting your masters) after approximately five years in the field you will top out unless you are able to get further certifications (you will work on these things after your masters and it can be done within 3-5 years after graduation)

    Additionally,you most probably will work in private practice and be willing (given the current economic times )to take insurance.

    After you establish yourself as a private practitioner working full time including evening and some sunday hours, salary for a social worker will be at a range anywhere between 65K-low 6 figure. Otherwise your top off point will be bet. 55-60K

    Re Nurse: You will not have to run for clients or worry about salary as your achrayis There are even agencies that will help you find homecare clients. Your top off point if you can get certain certifications and supervisory positions will theoretically be that of an extremely successful social worker.The mid-range nurse without all the above and working full time will be in the 55-75k range still more then a full time social worker that is not in some sort of private practice.( I assume you realize that as a very successful nurse you might also have to work some evening hours)

    Take your strengths and interests and sort them out.The career counselor on campus night be able to be of help.Speak to people in the fields that might interest you and then realize what might be realistic for you. You might even pick a profession that currently is not on your radar

    Hatzlacha in whatever you choose:)

    in reply to: Jewish calendar date request #915023
    abcd2
    Participant

    Thanks 007 for passing along the message to Q and M 🙂

    in reply to: Kashrus observance #914607
    abcd2
    Participant

    It is owned by a non jew,and therefore can be open on shabbos.Just like other kosher non jewish businesses it is spot checked continuosly even on shabbos and yomim tovim.Mashgiach even found a violation and pulled hechsher from one of them.Additionally, all ingredients are reliable and most of the kosher franchises have their product made in a central location so easier to check on Kashrus.The ones on long Island are the same re ingredients and are checked by five towns Vaad.

    BTW the hechsher under Rabbi Mehlman is not valid for baskin robbins in the store(as per sign posted which many people do not realize). He requires that only kosher flavors under KVH or Star D are in the stores he certifies donuts for, but refuses to give hechser on the fresh to order cakes and favors, they must have an individual hechsher from KVH or Star D as ice cream cakes can use different types of fillers and decorations including ones with non-kosher ingredients.

    in reply to: When is it time to divorce? #911960
    abcd2
    Participant

    Do you have a Rav or Rebbetzin to speak to by yourself or that can guide you or refer you to someone qualified? ( the Rav should have experience with relationship issues and also does not have to be your personal Rav) After speaking to such a person you will then get your next steps.

    It is impossible to analyze your plea for help without a face to face meeting from a knowledgeable person that could help you and your family with your crisis.

    Going online with your question shows you still have doubt about your next step and indicates that you still have hope for your marriage.

    Your spouse’s addiction and anger problems are probably symptomatic of something but not that your spouse is Chasvishalom a bad person or is upset with you.

    There are many cases where initial failures occurred before a spouse was ready to realize counseling/help was needed.Eventually the spouse turned around was open to counseling and a remarkable change for the positive happened in the relationship. May Hashem guide you and give you much Bracha

    P.S. I am sure there are certain triggers that you know of that might set your spouse off.Additionally, as much as in the RIGHT you think you may be I am sure talking about this topic or whatever topic that upsets you spouse is a trigger.

    The following books are recommended by many therapists with positive outcomes.

    Fight Less Love More (five minute conversations to change your relationship without blowing up or giving in)

    Author Laurie Puhn JD

    The book describes how to bring up stressful topics from mundane issues to major ones between spouses so as not to lead up to a fight. You can order it online.

    B)To help your Shalom Bayis further especially before Chanuka: Unfortunately hurtful angry statements can leave an impression long after the words have been said. In a roundabout way you can roleplay by the Shabbos table by reading lessons out loud from the book Positive Word Power

    (Building a better world with the words you speak) from Artscroll it is sold in most Seforim stores.

    RE both books:You do NOT have to have Shalom Bayis issues to benefit from these books they can be helpful to everyone.

    in reply to: RV Mobile Trailer Living #910018
    abcd2
    Participant

    There is a very nice Frum Couple that spent significant time traveling. The majority of their travels was in an RV crisscrossing the U.S.

    They wrote a very interesting book about their travels.

    Title of the book is “Home on the Road” it talks about frum life in an RV Shabbossim Kashrus etc.. and of course is filled with all their adventures and tips for long term travel and traveling in an RV.

    The name of the couple is Gindoff (Marylin Gindoff author) it is a great read even if you are not interested in RV travel.

    You can purchase Home on the Road on Amazon and some Seforim stores might have it as well its release was a few years ago.Tzeischem Lishalom!

    in reply to: MINYAN NEEDED #909886
    abcd2
    Participant

    YESHIVAS OHAVEI TORAH

    450 West 250th Street, Riverdale

    Maariv: M/W 6:30, T 8:15 Th 8:00 EST

    School Days Only

    Contact: Rabbi Chaim Pechter

    718-432-2600

    YESHIVA OF TELSHE ALUMNI

    4904 Independence Avenue

    Mincha: S-Th 2:30 EST 1:30 DST

    F 12:30 EST

    Maariv: S-Th 9:30 pm

    Contact: Rabbi Nosson Joseph

    Tel.#:: 718-601-3523

    Bais Medrash on premises

    ALBERT EINSTEIN COLLEGE OF MEDICINE,

    ULLMAN BUILDING

    1300 Morris Park Avenue, Room 625

    Time: M-Th 2:00, All Year

    Contact: Dr. Robert Burk/718-430-3720

    Dr. Dovid Neufeld/718-430-3756

    CITY SOUNDS 3rd AVENUE MINYAN

    2910 3rd Avenue

    Mincha: M-Th 4:15 followed by Maariv EST

    Contact: Lewis/718 993-2270

    ELMAX LUMBER

    1624 Webster, near GW Bridge

    Shacharis: 6:30

    Mincha: 2:00 All Year

    Contact: Moishe Goldberger/718-588-0220

    (Sefer Torah available)

    YOUNG ISRAEL OF RIVERDALE

    4502 Henry Hudson Parkway East

    Time: 10 minutes before Shikiya

    Call for times

    Contact: 718 548-4765

    EAST HAVEN NURSING & REHAB CTR.

    2323 Eastchester Road (in conf room)

    Near Einstein & Jacobi Hospitals

    Time: M-Th 1:45 All Year

    Contact: Isador Braverman/718-655-2848

    Shiur: Halacha 1:30-1:45 pm

    Free parking available, Sefer Torah on premises

    MONTEFIORE MEDICAL CENTER

    111 East 210th Street, in Synagogue,

    Gunhill Road Entrance, up steps, straight at the end of the main

    corridor

    Time: M-F 2:00

    Contact: Rabbi Eugene Katz/718-920-2406

    BETH ABRAHAM HEALTH SERVICES

    612 Allerton Avenue, in the synagogue

    off Bronx River Parkway, Allerton Ave Exit

    Time: M-Th 2:30 All Year

    Contact: Abraham Neufeld/718-519-4145

    CONCOURSE REHAB CENTER

    1072 Grand Concourse East 106th Street

    Time: 1:30 All Year

    THE WAYNE CENTER FOR NURSING &

    REHABILITATION

    3530 Wayne Avenue

    Contact: Mrs. Goldberg 718 655-1700 ext. 5521

    Nearby Bronx in Washington Heights

    89. HARLEM MINCHA MINYAN

    116 E. 125th St., bet. Lexington & Park

    Time: M-Th 12:40 EST

    Contact: Mr. Hurwitz/212-426-1284 x190

    COLUMBIA PRESBYTERIAN

    MEDICAL CENTER

    622 W. 168th Street, Chapel area downstairs

    Time: M-Th 1:40 EST

    Contact: Rabbi Schnaidman/212-305-5817

    K’HAL ADATH JESHURUN

    85 Bennett Avenue

    Time: Mincha 1:15 EST 1:25 DST

    Call First

    Tel.#: 212-923-3582

    BETH MEDRASH YESHURUN

    220 Bennett Avenue, off B’way & W. 190th

    Time: S-Th 1:40, 3:15 AllYear

    Maariv: 9:30 call first

    Shiur: Call for Shiurim

    Throughout the day

    Contact: Mrs. Bass/ 212-781-3399

    YESHIVA UNIVERSITY

    BELFER SCIENCE HALL

    Amsterdam & West 184th Street

    10th Floor, Room 1012

    10 min. before plag Mincha

    Followed by Maariv

    M-Th Nov.- Jan. 10 minutes

    Before sunset, followed by Maariv

    M-Th April-Sept.-1:50,

    F 12:50 DST

    Minyan may not meet on

    Legal holidays.

    Contact: Marvin Resnick/212-960-5392

    YESHIVA UNIVERSITY/FURST HALL

    500 W. 185th St., 3rd Fl., cor. Amsterdam

    Time: S-Th 2:30 All Year

    Minyan may not meet on legal holidays.

    Contact: Rabbi Blau/212-960-5480

    YESHIVA UNIVERSITY

    ZYSMAN HALL

    2540 Amsterdam Avenue

    Minyan may not meet on legal holidays.

    Time: M-Th 2:30 in Beth Midrash

    Mincha all afternoon: Room 101

    Call for times

    Friday 12:40 EST 1:40 DST

    20 min before sunset

    Sunday and summers 1:30

    Contact: Rabbi Blau/212-960-5480

    May all your tefillos be answered Birachamim Uvratzon!

    in reply to: Very Disheartened #910138
    abcd2
    Participant

    ( sorry meant to write above)When receiving used clothing for sanitary reasons recipients will want to wash them first or the chesed organizations will have to undertake that task before distribution. (even when I get hand me downs from relatives I wash them first)We are sending thousands of pounds of clothing to a place where electricity and water are at a premium and proper facilities are lacking it is not feasible to not only sort but also launder so many things.This lack of electricity and proper facilities is also a reason why (as of last week at least)the only large amount of stored food donations they accept are non-perishables while fresh food donations must be brought in daily.

    in reply to: Very Disheartened #910137
    abcd2
    Participant

    To many of the above disheartened and perplexed posters who wanted to give their I am sure fine condition clean hardly used clothes.

    Please bear in mind that not everyone is as conscientious as you might be when considering what clothing is still good clean etc… If they accept used clothing half of it would have to be thrown out anyway and an enormous amount of time would be wasted having to look at each label and each item inspected.

    Do not judge the people accepting the items or the people in need as I am sure most would take good condition clothes(I have relatives who were affected and I know they and their neighbors use hand me downs)

    I agree with poster if you lose everything it only makes you feel further like a Nebach and refugee when you realize that you cannot afford clothing anymore.

    Someone from a hard hit area told me they have to spend thousands on repair work,and they will not have enough to replace all contents( their furniture sefarim etc..) that were ruined.They do not have the money to do repairs without help and are now with relatives and borrowing money from them and applying to chesed funds.(something which he feels terrible about). If new clothes are available to be sent we can further avoid adding insult to injury.

    They are constantly looking for volunteers to help with clean up work hosting families etc..Perhaps you volunteer for an hour instead or do some other type of help. Tizku Limitzvos!

    in reply to: Cholov Yisroel V.S. Cholov Stam #903491
    abcd2
    Participant

    Along the lines of this topic perhaps someone in the CR can answer:

    I understand as to why Kosher meat is much more expensive then treif but why must Chalav yisrael and kosher cheese product(other then fresh milk) cost between 50-75% more then chalav stam or non-kosher?

    A few examples a box of chalav stam ice cream sandwiches are 5-6 dollars while a box of smaller chalav yisrael are between 6-8 dollars. A large pack of non-kosher string cheese costs five dollars kosher is between 10-12 dollars.Chalav stam cream cheese bet. $1.79 and $2.50 chalav yisrael bet.4-5 dollars

    In my admittedly basic understanding of Chalav Yisrael aside from shemira and delivery cost, I do not fully know the costs involved or the reasons for the cost differentials.

    Also are we paying for some products to be labeled chalav Yisrael when it is do to misunderstanding as to whether certification is truly necessary? (i.e. certain milk powder products)

    It could be I picked a wrong comparison but as compared to meat I can’t find the reason for the higher price as compared to treif.

    Comparing cheese to meat:You dont need an army of shochtim, kashrus inspectors, people flying around to cattle ranches, inspections on every level, and even after it reaches the retail level we still need supervision for meat.

    Re cheese product: after it is manufactured by machinery its done. We pay at least double for many chalav yisroel products even in heavily Jewish populated areas.

    Additionally, with many non-Jews worried about by-products there are also many non-jewish cheese manufactures that do not use trief.There is a chance with certain modifications that it is possible to manufacture kosher cheese on a large scale.Or kosher manufactures could market to those that don’t want treif and could sell on a larger scale bringing down overall manufacturing cost. Many non-Jews by kosher for the reason of no by-products and increased supervision.

    Many people read this forum. Perhaps someone could please shed some light on the cost and manufacturing processes of kosher cheese/dairy product.(I do realize that kosher does have to cost more but why so much more)

    in reply to: HELP!!!!!!!!!!! #902637
    abcd2
    Participant

    I stand by what I wrote. When you look at the YWN homepage,hear current appeals in Shules for sandy for people that literally now have only the clothes on their back, people that unfortunately are suffering greatly etc.. and you see HELP with exclamation points an immediate reaction is that someone is in need.

    The realization of a spoof is only after you click through when you realize the thread is from a year ago.

    Yes you are correct there have been many fun and satirical calls for help and other non-crisis in the CR but there is a time and place for everything.

    I personally(as I am sure many others)know of people that have lost everything.When the news is covered with people suffering it is extremely insensitive to draw attention in such a manner.

    This thread came as we had someone this past weekend on the CR begging for a generator for the disabled.I still maintain a cheerful personality but sometimes “the world does have to stop”if even only for a second.

    in reply to: HELP!!!!!!!!!!! #902633
    abcd2
    Participant

    I will be Dan Likaf Zechus that this was a misguided attempt to inject humor into the current crisis around us.

    What has been accomplished is that a title for a thread that someone who is in a dire situation could actually use has now been taken.I would even say there is a possibility of Geneivas Daas by having this thread and wasting peoples time every time they click.Furthermore it can only inflict pain on those that see this who actually do need help (Regardless if related to Sandy or not BORUCH HASHEM A CRY FOR HELP IN OUR COMMUNITY IS NOT IGNORED),this is not a time for Laitzanus.While humor can many times help alleviate a situation this thread is certainly very inappropriate at this time of crisis for so many.May Hashem only grant us Simchas

    in reply to: Theres a smell of fire in the area of 14th ave, in BP #901316
    abcd2
    Participant

    While not a good thing there is a good chance its not a house but street lamps or transformers.In flatbush the whole night fire trucks have been racing to lamps and transformers it reeks of smoke. If you see a bright blue light it is not lightning but a power transformer or a street light bursting.

    May Hashem guard us and help all of us get through this.Aside from the actual storm the after effects for everyone on the east coast are monumental.

    May Hashem have Rachmonus on all those directly and indirectly effected bodily and materially.

    in reply to: Suicide (R"L) #901789
    abcd2
    Participant

    Most current poskim rule that suicide is due to mental illness (as Zahavasdad said) and not a truly conscious act of the ill person trying to control their destiny.

    Learning Mishnayos Liuley Nishmas is considered a tremendous merit regardless if someone was frum or not. A tinok Shenishbar would have an especially tremendous Zechus by Torah study being done in their memory as they were not properly exposed to it in their lifetime.

    Sorry about your loss and only Simchas in Klal Yisrael

    in reply to: HURRICANE SANDY #901870
    abcd2
    Participant

    Hashem gave us a tremendous Bracha by allowing us the technology to recognize that a very severe damaging (and in some places even life threatening)storm is coming. We should all take advantage of the calm before the storm and utilize the time wisely to ask Hashem for Rachmonus. He is the only one that can control the weather. Daven that people should not Chasvishalom suffer harm and property damage to be minimal.Even if you do not live in a storm area, many people are due to be affected please keep them in mind. For some people even a short loss of power can be catastrophic and/or economically ruinous.People lost their lives in a similarly forecasted storm (Irene)

    May Hashem send Geshem of Bracha to all

    in reply to: A good bagel in NYC? Fave toppings? #909546
    abcd2
    Participant

    Tzaddiq:cheese fries are french fries that after done have cheese melted on top of them in an oven or microwave.Very good very fattening:)

    in reply to: A good bagel in NYC? Fave toppings? #909540
    abcd2
    Participant

    Damoshe:Just a note about a little known fact and could be important for an out of towner. Brooklyn Bagel and Bagel Hole as everyone (myself included)calls them are misnomers and actually the name of non-kosher establishments.

    The actual name of the kosher bagel store on Nostrand is Original Brooklyn Bagel.

    We found this out as once a friend from out of town with a similar request as the opening poster wanted a bagel store and we recommended Brooklyn bagel. Apparently Brooklyn Bagel gets called many times a month for people looking for the kosher store on Nostrand.

    Next time you pass,look at the big letters Brooklyn Bagel on the storefront, prior are the words Original superimposed on a bagel.The real name for Bagel hole is Kosher Bagel Hole

    Here are their phone listings:

    Original Brooklyn Bagel Nostrand Ave (718) 253-5928

    Kosher bagel Hole (718) 377-9700

    Going with Brooklyn bagel or either Bagel Hole are solid choices,Brooklyn Bagel also has real in store seating.

    in reply to: Advice about appliances #899681
    abcd2
    Participant

    perhaps you can replace the area with a small stove top and oven (24 inch wide)or slide in range and you can use the empty space in the wall for a convection microwave if you want fast cooking without bending down. It might not cost more then replacing an in wall oven especially if you have to worry about rewiring and cabinet repairs. Additionally,some of the small ovens are non electric ignition.

    In the meantime if you have or can borrow a stovetop oven from someone (Camping/pesach style)it would be faster then toaster oven.They retail bet.30-40$

    p.s.downside of convection microwave: most convection microwaves due to the cooking methods and mix of inner metal and plastic cannot be kashered for pesach,and should be treated like a regular oven I.E. designate it for milchigs and the main oven for flieshig and double wrap items if switching.The upside is it browns as well as an oven and cooking time is more then halved.

    in reply to: Advice about appliances #899676
    abcd2
    Participant

    Drimmers on coney Island Ave.Drimmers is local and it is nice to support a local business as well as easier to deal with if something is wrong. A friend (after shopping around) recently got some appliances by them, they had two out of the three items at the cheapest asking price and the third they price matched.Additionally,I got a washer and dryer by them they were cheapest including install.

    I do however echo above that town appliance has very similar and fair pricing.

    Whomever you choose ask for suggestions as they might have something on closeout or a cheaper model that you do not see in the showroom.

    in reply to: How should one protest against shmoozers during davening? #901811
    abcd2
    Participant

    The gentle approach is always the best. With a smile just gently say that you are having a problem concentrating or explain that as you have so many distractions during the week that when you get to shule on Shabbos it is really your only restful time to communicate with Hashem.

    Whomever you speak to already knows about assur lidaber bishas hatefilla. I have been to shules and people scream SHaa, NU or quiet or give loud claps. They make just as much a disturbance as the people talking, come off as meddlesome even though they are in the right, and nobody really listens. Eventually calm demeanor wins over the respect of others and when people see you, people will know that you are someone that does not like talking during Davening. They will automatically clam up when they see you and perhaps change their own behavior from your example.

    B) I ask you to consider your opening paragraphs in describing the situation you faced in Shule.

    ” davened in a certain shule this past shabbos.” Does that mean you were a visitor? You also wrote “The scary part is that the Rav ….?”

    It seems to me that you were a guest.If so it is basically impossible to judge a Rav or the people that Daven there. Even if you are a regular perhaps the Rav is working behind the scenes.

    Don’t get me wrong whether a guest or a regular you are entitled to a normal Davening, but perhaps the Rabbi is working on this Mida with his shule and you dont know about it? And perhaps even some of the perpetrators themselves are trying very hard not to talk.

    I have been a guest by family, friends, neighbors… on Shabbos.Sometimes the same kids act out repeatedly in the same manner,and you wonder why the parents are not disciplining differently.(similar to the Rabbi this is a main function of their job) but of course we don’t fully know what is going on behind the scenes based on our short visit.As an outsider looking in it is not always possible to get a clear picture.

    In some extreme examples I know of two people with short term memory issues, one with a mild social anxiety disorder,and a few people with major tzaros that just want to blow off steam to their friends. (these are people whom if you saw them on the surface in a million years you would never suspect such things are going on)These people truly struggle with keeping quiet in shule and it is a real nisayon. It is very hard to know how others are truly working hard on their midos.

    May Hashem see that we are truly Amech Kulam Tzaddikim in what other nation in this day and age would you have people complaining and working on a Mida about talking in the presence of a G-d that can’t be tangibly seen or heard?

    Tizku Limtzvos!

    in reply to: Difficult questions about grandparents #899649
    abcd2
    Participant

    Gut vuch

    A) were they raised here or Europe

    B)are they holocaust survivors

    C)age range of kids

    will have simple answers that you might want use

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899463
    abcd2
    Participant

    Avhaben. I am sorry but your numbers are wrong perhaps I was not clear enough in my suggestions.Even if someone is currently a full time teacher you are looking at a full week covering bet. 35-38 hours.

    Extending fridays by1/2-1 hour translates into a 1-2% increase in workload.

    Only Fridays for half the school year are till 1pm and of course due to yomim tovim and vacations a percentage of fridays will not have school scheduled.

    BTW many girl schools have dismissal at 1230 on Fridays already year round.It is a very high percentage of boys schools that end 12pm on Fridays and as explained above, there would be a wash with sunday hours for boys Yeshivas and Rebbeim.

    Regarding preschools: A standard schedule is usually 9-3 monday-thursday 9-12 friday = 108 hours if there was a full month. If you want to say tuition is 5000-6000 average then you are (25 children per class) at $125-150K gross per year for the school.We are working solely for tuition.Why should young preschool parents who are just starting out have to pay similar pricing to 1-8th graders who have longer hours and less days off?(Yes in pre-school you must have assistants aside from a Morah, which explains part of the costs but the hours are still to short) Having dismissal at 3:30 pm and fridays till 1230/1 could make a tremendous difference.

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899457
    abcd2
    Participant

    Avhaben:For teachers in girl and preschools we need a give back of time to adjust to new economic realities. Workers across the country in both low and high paying jobs have been asked to give back time or money in every industry. I never proposed a salary increase.

    Asking teachers to stay till 1pm on a long friday is legitimate.

    Regarding pre-schools that end before 3:30 pm or charge extra to stay after two pm: There are plenty of caring educated loving teachers that are qualified to be pre-school morahs and assistants that would be willing to work till 3:30 pm at current pay scales.

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899455
    abcd2
    Participant

    Re: girl schools on fridays to extend for a 1/2-1hour.The same applies to preschools as well who end way to early for the working parents.

    The only costs incurred will be for the few hours or so of lighting and maintenance per month. If girl/preschools want let them add a 30 dollar charge to the building fund. The (dependent on class size) 6-900 dollars raised per class will more then cover the extra hours per month of fluorescent lighting and maintenance increase.According to various online estimates the annual cost of a 110 watt high powered fluorescent used three hours daily is between 3-4 cents. (Preschools usually are housed in the yeshiva building to begin with and should not cost more then lighting and maintenance as well)

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899453
    abcd2
    Participant

    to avhaben For boy schools switching hours from sunday to friday is a wash and does not cost more money. Re: girl schools on fridays to extend for a 1/2 hour I am advocating that schools have to adjust to the new reality and offer school till 1230 or 1pm (as I said above girl schools have many off days and teachers usually have off every other friday to begin with.)

    Regarding extending the school year through July of course tuition is expected to be paid

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899431
    abcd2
    Participant

    I wrote”Our schools are communal Tzedakas ….”And your response was they are not.lets change that a bit

    The entire focal point of the Jewish people is its continuance and heritage of Torah. For to long we have entrusted this task to schools without enough communal input even though continuance of Jewish education is what is most important to the community as a whole.

    (Perhaps the good people at Yeshiva World can help make this petition a reality)

    Our Yeshiva administrators do a great job they did not create the current crisis, we did as a community by sitting on the sidelines.We must become more vocal in being able to control the viability of our Yeshivas and destiny of our children.

    Tuition paying parents can make these simple economically beneficial suggestions a reality through a petition to our local schools to ask that as of the coming year

    A)To request all Yeshivas have dismissal Erev Shabbos not earlier then 12:30 pm.When Shabbos is 5pm onwards,dismissal Erev Shabbos should not be earlier then 1pm (In exchange Rebbeim who generally have hours that exceed that of a Bais Yaakov teacher would teach 1/2 hour-one hour less on Sundays)

    B)Preschools should end no earlier then 3:30pm

    C)Prior to the upcoming school year schools will recognize a set time for Chanuka and Winter vacations. Schools will each decide how many days to give off but start and ending times will cover the same periods.(In example for winter vacation: one Yeshiva might want to give an extended weekend off another might want to give five days all must start on the same day.)When scheduling the calendar prioritize giving off time when Chanuka or Winter vacations can coincide with a legal holiday.

    This is a new economic reality that we are living in and we must help each other.

    None of the above suggestions will cost our Yeshivas any amount of money. In most dual income families one parent is working solely for tuition obligations. I ask our Yeshivas to please help parents help you!

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899422
    abcd2
    Participant

    To some above posters who say that that schools do so much already or that we have no right to complain. Again we must help each other. The current system is broke the more chances a school gives a parent to pay tuition on time and as high a rate possible for the given parent the better it is for everyone involved.

    Yes we have a Mitzva to teach our children and the actual chiyuv is on the parent but what would you suggest? A bunch of poor Jewish families because parents can’t work? Aside from the fact that even the best parent cannot always teach their kids, especially as they age.

    We must assert more of a communal responsibility over our schools. Schools have generally speaking made poor progress in combating tuition issues and just simply kept raising tuition.

    Disclaimer: What I am writing I am happy to provide to my Yeshivas and its teachers and am just trying to illustrate a point and have immeasurable Hakoras tov despite paying for my children to go to Yeshiva.

    Do we hold fundraisers for the electric company? Do we have our kids run and collect tzedaka for the gas company?Do we pay for our mailman’s life insurance policy? Do we give holiday bonuses or have special loan funds for our sanitation dept.? Do we pay for building funds and dinner campaigns for the police department?Donate almost all our discretionary income to the fire dept.? And for many who cannot provide monetarily,then so much of their free time to any other entity that serves our public good?

    Our schools are communal Tzedakas and for to long we have not been organized enough to oversee how best we can help them and they help us.

    Ironically I have found posters who keep on defending schools, view it as a struggling business or a provider of service to the public yet have no concrete suggestions how they themselves can help that struggling business other then saying charge the customers more or that schools can charge because they provide a service.Even the MTA this past year was famously denied a fare hike as it was considered to much of a public burden.You can’t just keep on raising rates.

    As a humorous aside for all those saying school is like a babysitting service and for those against:

    It would be beneficial if it was. Group babysitting is usually an average of five dollars an hour AND you only pay for use.

    If school is 9-5 four days and current three hours on fridays then a full week is $175, boy schools approx $200 per week, pre-k around $160 per week. If a full month were in fact existent then you would max out between 640-800 per month.Our schools charge significantly more then this.

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899415
    abcd2
    Participant

    avhaben: I am aware that girls do not have school on sunday. However,girls elementary school charges are almost on par with boys yet their teachers have off every sunday and in many cases every other friday.Girl schools also have more vacation time in general.

    Asking a teacher to stay till 1pm on friday when shabbos starts at 5pm or later can make a tremendous difference to a parent. As mentioned above plenty of industries have been giving back in order to survive. The Rebbes switching time from Sunday to Friday will not cost a penny more nor will co-ordinated vacation weeks between all schools.

    Re school in July: As opposed to a decade ago far less people have been sending their children away for the eight weeks of summer. This has resulted in a number of frum camps closing down,many rent out their grounds to vacationers and yeshivas, and others now have day camps on their premises.Unfortunately many are just struggling to remain vialble entities. Even camps that received UJA grants had to raise tuition significantly this past summer to a level that many parents simply could not afford as UJA slashed funding.As part of this topic fewer families have been going up to the the catskills due to the high cost and most women are unable to get away from work as they must meet tuition obligations. If you live in Flatbush you can see the proof in front of you.

    Stores and streets which used to be completely empty during the summer are now at least half full.

    I am sorry if I was not clear but of course I expect that tuition should be charged for July. An eight week break is not good for anyone. Parents struggle with the additional costs of summer and camp.Certainly, most Rebbes and teachers do not like finding themselves in the unenviable position of looking for summer work, many times having to find one job for July and one for August.A light learning schedule (with 1/2 amount H.W.)plus supervised physical and educational activity would be a good break and compromise for all. Students will have free time and perhaps concentrate on certain limudei kodesh or secular matter that they would not normally have time for and the extra physical activity would be no different then when a teacher watches kids during recess.Similar systems (with shorter hours) are in place till late June/early July in Baltimore and Lakewood. I would propose a regular school schedule with the exception for boys who usually end past 5 pm to end no later then 430/5pm as this way the boys have a continued break and teachers still have some extra time off despite getting paid at whatever their current salary level is.

    In some states outside the NY area a shortened summer vacation or a higher amount of school days is already the norm. Many western countries (among them Japan, Australia, England ) for decades have had a four-six week summer vacation.

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899402
    abcd2
    Participant

    Hodulashem: Nobody is bashing teachers or not showing hakoras tov to them. But the reality is that current economic situation cannot allow for the current system to survive.

    The least painful option would be to give back free time and to extend friday hours with a possible give back from sunday hours when parents are off anyway.

    Current teaching schedules for the most part have been in use since agricultural society was dominant.Another solution would be to teach in July schools/teachers would get more money and parents would save money. The summer does wonders for kids but August would be sufficient they do not need eight weeks off. July could have divided days with half learning half play with teachers supervising.

    Every profession and Industry all over the country has had to implant change to save money and survive. Unfortunately our Yeshiva system is not immune.You can’t draw water from a dry well, tuition rates can’t go any higher. The schools must be more creative so they can help us help them.

    While tuition has been hard since time immemorial, it did not grow into the current monster it is until the late 1990’s as salaries have not kept true pace with inflation. However, the schools have been raising tuition every year.

    If salaries have not gone up commensurate with expenditure this money is just not there.

    The only solution is further communal involvement in schools, and just like all professions across the country a give back to the people.Schools have by and large put burden of tuition on parents and ignored the problem.It has now reached a point where schools must give something back to the parents and together with us come up with fast easily executable solutions options or our Yeshivas will not survive.

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899394
    abcd2
    Participant

    Avhaben: I would amend your statement to say full tuition to the BEST of their ability. The system as it stands cannot work anymore.

    In NY to meet full tuition payment usually both parents are working and the necessary income level is 3x’s that of the average American family.(Outside of Brooklyn and Lakewood you are looking at a starting asking price between 10-15k per kid.)

    We must view the relationship between parents and our Yeshivas much more then a creditor/debtor situation (as I am sure you do). With the exorbitant cost of tuition and current economic climate full tuition is very hard and currently out of reach for many.I guarantee if people had they would definitely fargin the Yeshivas to charge as much as they want.

    May Hashem answer all those in need and answer ALL our tefillos today!

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899385
    abcd2
    Participant

    litvishe kiryas yoelite

    I assume you are talking about chasidishe mosdos chaim berlin tora vadas chofetz chaim mir etc.. all have at least an extended weekend in january or feb.

    Have a good Shabbos!

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899380
    abcd2
    Participant

    Shmoel as I said above the realization about a connection between parents working = teachers getting paid is sometimes lost in the collective conscious of parents and teachers.

    Switching an hour from sunday to friday does not add to a rebbe workload and would be beneficial to all. In girls schools they charge just as much as boys and most teachers have off every other friday. Asking them to stay till 1pm would be a tremendous help to parents and their work schedules.

    The reality is we work for tuition it is incumbent upon schools to help us help them.

    Whiteberry- A) Chanuka vacation and winter vacation are two separate times off of school and usually are not put together.

    Chanuka vacation was an invention just like getting presents instead of gelt. This helped kids in America compete against x-mas. I admit that the idea worked. Chanuka becoming openly celebratory definitely has helped Jews when they are surrounded by christmas advertisements and decorations to not feel left out. However this has nothing to do with our current needs for most right wing yeshivas.

    Chanuka is really a time of Torah learning and simcha. It would be better if schools had an extended winter vacation so kids and rebbes time off in mid year.Perhaps make a local field trip and party in honor of chanuka. I am sure parents would pay for the costs as opposed to shelling out what it costs to have kids home for chanuka vacation.

    your third point: Unfortunately one cannot pick and choose days off. For instance this year all yomim tovim fall out during the work week eating up personal and vacation days.

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899363
    abcd2
    Participant

    kfb:This is standard practice in right wing leaning NY and Lakewood boys yeshivas, none of them give a full week off.( all boys have school on Sundays and 90% of girls schools do not.)

    Yoelite- if one child has off the week prior and then your next child has off friday through monday the following week that is a nice chunk of time off.

    Additionally non-coordinated schedules for winter vacation come a few weeks after taking off from work for Chanuka vacation.

    BTW: what do you think of extended time for fridays in spring and pre-k till 4pm? As a give back to Rebbes who also teach on sundays I would lop off an hour on sunday and switch it to fridays.

    in reply to: Working parent letter: two implementable ideas I posted #899358
    abcd2
    Participant

    Kiryas Yoelite:Boys yeshivas typically have a long weekend (Friday-Monday) as a winter vacation.All the major boys yeshivas in Brooklyn give anywhere between 2-4 days off.While girls schools have anywhere between a long weekend and a full week.

    in reply to: Need more comfortable Yom Kippur shoes #898141
    abcd2
    Participant

    Nike makes a whole line of sneakers using Hyperfusion or hyperfuse technology (just google nike hyperfusion) you can get low top high top or running styles they give a terrific amount of support and are completely synthetic. BTW Sam2 is correct, a fair amount of sneakers these days do not have leather.

    p.s.I am hoping that Moshiach comes before tishabav rolls around and above info will be used for informational purposes only 🙂

    abcd2
    Participant

    Shomrim went out enmasse tonight (motzai Shabbos) and have also started distributing flyers.Im Yirtze Hashem I hope that we should have a happy ending to this tragic episode. May we all be zoche to a gut gebentched year

    in reply to: Roshei Yeshivos of Major American Yeshivos #897977
    abcd2
    Participant

    we are not daas torah: I honestly have no clue about the choosing process of Roshei yeshiva in Mir. However, I am sure all the above choshuv Rabbanim decided to pick for whichever reasons the present Rosh Yeshiva.I am sure you did not realize when you wrote it and it was completely accidental,but to say”r’ reuven shepansky probably should have become rosh yeshiva, but l’maaseh he didnt.” is actually an insult to the current Rosh Yeshiva and administration. I would ask mods to remove the comment

    in reply to: Which American community it right for us? #897666
    abcd2
    Participant

    to Nechoma: “As far as your other kids, do find out a…. segregated based on their backgrounds” You unfortunately have been exposed to prejudices that exist in Eretz Yisroel due to political affiliations. In Brooklyn Baltimore Chicago etc… the yeshivas have balei teshuva. Only a chasidic school is where this might be an issue, and that is not do to being a baal teshuva but only because you are not chasidish.

    While finding a job anywhere needs mazel for the husband it will Not be to bad re being from UK as the poster is American.

    in reply to: Which American community it right for us? #897662
    abcd2
    Participant

    Boropark and williamsburgh are chasidish. Flatbush, and Marine park in brooklyn are a mix.Kew garden hills in queens and flushing are a mix as well but does not have as many education or employment choices as brooklyn.

    Far rockaway is very nice as well but your monthly expenses will be very high for all said purposes it is dependent heavily on the five towns for its shopping work and educational needs and cars are a must. As mentioned above the Boys Yeshiva in that area Darchei Torah is an excellent yeshiva and as referenced by the above poster for a child with needs they do a tremendous job of integrating kids.Yeshiva tuition and day camp will run you about 30% more then Brooklyn. As you said you were from L.A. the five towns are very similar in cost.

    Solely on your brief description of your son, I can think of a few Yeshivas in Brooklyn that can cater to your son very well in mainstream classes. Therapists meet with boys during and after school hours and if your son can be only partially mainstreamed there are boys yeshivas that have classrooms within the class or use arrow smith and other resources if necessary.

    I actually know of a few boys with sensory issues and adhd that are doing quite well.

    If your son needs a Yeshiva with modified learning but not necessarily full special ed there are a few of them in Brooklyn.

    in reply to: Which American community it right for us? #897659
    abcd2
    Participant

    Boropark and williamsburgh are chasidish. Flatbush, and Marine park in brooklyn are a mix.Kew garden hills in queens and flushing are a mix as well but does not have as many education or employment choices as brooklyn.Far rockaway is very nice as well but is dependent heavily on the five towns for its shopping work and educational needs and two cars are a must.

    In Brooklyn a few boys yeshivas can cater to your son very well in mainstream classes just based on your description. Therapists meet with boys during and after school hours and if your son can be only partially mainstreamed there are boys yeshivas that have classrooms within the class or use arrow smith and other resources if necessary.

    I actually know of a few boys with sensory issues and adhd that are doing quite well.

    If your son needs a Yeshiva with modified learning but not necessarily full special ed there are a few of them in brooklyn.

    Unfortunately I have lost contact with them but I know of two therapists that were actually brought to Eretz Yisroel to help modernize programing.

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