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Cooperstown.
“Why do we judge each other?”
Because it is easier than judging ourselves.
Taryag 🙂
My gradfather, a born and bred litvak (came to america prior to WWI in his early 20s with nothing but his Litvish minhagim – succa on shmini atzeres, tefilin on chol hamoed, ate gebrokhts, no kittel by the seder, had no “shin” in his alphabet) took 4 sons in law who were all from chassidishe families – when asked about it by us grandchildren many years later (in the 70s) he replied, back then, the only considerations for a shidduch were, was he a mench and was he shomer torah umitzvos. It didnt matter if he wore a bekkesha or a zoot soot).
The simcha was in that they made shalom.
Hacham. If I called you a Nazi, would you be insulted or would you shrug it off and say well, technically, I’m not a member of that political party.
Nobody loses. If they raise a family of shomrei torah umiyzvos, the ribbono shel olam wins.
I made the mistake of davening for the amud at a minyan that prided itself on never ending after 6:25 (I didn’t know this tidbit when I agreed to daven for the amud). I got many “hurry ups” and “nus” during pesukei dizimra, and the volume and intensity of the comments really picked up after barchu. I walked away from the amud in the middle of birchas krias shma. Nobody wanted to go to the amud. They asked, and practically pleaded but I refused unless they wouldnt try and hurry me along. One guy literally jumped out of his seat and ran to the amud yelling “no, let me, we have to be outta here by 6:25”.
In this same shul (at a later minyan) I once witnessed someone pull $50 from his wallet and offer it to the shliach tzibbur if he would repeat uva litzion as fast as he did the first time, but out loud for everyone to hear. The rav of this shul once made someone who got an aliya repeat the bracha at least 5 times, until he said it slowly and said every word (I was embarressed for the oleh who couldn’t figure out the rav wanted him to say every word – I heard such a chumra exists 🙂 – until the rav spelled it out for him). In short, if you are not comfortable davening for the amud, for whatever reason,don’t. The minyan will do just fine without you.
The adam and steve line is from a bill cosby routine (or maybe a steven wright) from the early 80s. It was almost as popular as billy crystals chineese restaurant in san francisco joke….sum yung guy.
It hppns
Dont worry about your clean name. She wont ruin it. She is probably hoping her yichus will keep you in check and make you afraid to “cause trouble” for her. Dont let her.
I thought there was some negotiation involved. Your aunt can say, you want a DJ, hire a DJ and pay for it. You want it in a restaurant, go ahead, pay for it. Thats my final offer.
The logical advice is to ask a Rav if you are permitted to report this person. If it is halachicly permitted to call 311, let the homeowner know you will do so. You might also want to let the renter know you are doing the same. The landlord will be responsible for the use of the building for commercial purposes it wasnt zoned for, but the one running the playgroup is probably not licensed either and would likely get into trouble. Certainly the apartment is not suited for a daycare center and the one running it would be in trouble.
If you have nothing to worry about, all the screaming of the neighbor wont “smear” your good name. Especially if the neighbors agree with you and are willing to back you up. If she calls you a moser, so what, if you have a psak from your Rav that it is not mesira, who cares what the neighbor says.
You are asking, if one had to choose between 2 mitzvos (levayas hames or nichum aveilim)and was only able to perform one of them, which one takes precedence. A shayla for a Rav.
Nu, so they want to hire a DJ. Are they asking her to pay for something she feel is unnecessary? If they will take on the expense, let them be. I feel she is well within her rights as a hostess to demand that the DJ not say, play or do anything she deems inappropriate.
I’m not sure that’s its so “normal” to “negotiate” with the other relatives to make sheva brachos. What does it mean negotiate? He who comes up with the most outrageous and/or lavish idea, gets to host? What will make the chassan and kallah happy? If negotiations break down, will there be no sheva brachos that day (which is ok too)? Lastly, why is it more “normal” to make a sheva brachos in a restaurant than it is to have a DJ?
And my point is….if the distortions of that “rabbi” bother you, counteract his or her teachings by reaching out to one of his or her congregants.
Not what you could have done. What can you do. There are hundreds of thousands of not millions, of irreligious and unaffilliated jews in the world. All you have to do is start by reaching out to ONE. Any one of them.
No sarcasm intended, but if you are so concerned with the neshama of this singer, where were you 5 years ago, last year, last week?
A variety of non-dairy Sorbet flavors
Non-dairy Smoothies
If non dairy = pareve. speak to the rav hamachsir.
I was there because I had a psak that it was OK. However, sitting in the greek restaurant with 5 coworkers and watching them suck on clam after clam has to go down as one of my worst experiences in the last 15 years. gross doesnt begin to describe it.
I think the one in Times Sq in Manhattan has a hechsher too.
“No, being on a list does not keep a girl waiting. She can see who she wants, regardless of how many boys have her on a list, as long as she hasn’t yet agreed to see someone else.”
Not if she starts the game later because she was “presented” to the boys first, who then took their time coming to a decision. I think the situation should be reversed and you will see, boys complaining about a lack of dates.
“The reason the boys are busier is because there are fewer of them.”
Without exception, every single girl that I know of that is dating, when they hear this comment says, “slight correction – there are fewer GOOD boys than girls”.
From coldstones website….
Is Cold Stone Creamery ice cream Kosher?
Although Cold Stone is not a kosher restaurant concept, the majority of our ingredients are kosher. The ice cream mix used to make Cold Stone ice cream is certified kosher, meaning that animal-based (beef, pork, etc.) ingredients cannot be used. The mono- and diglycerides we use are not from animal sources. Most of our ice cream flavors are also made with kosher ingredients. The agency certifications for the ingredients will vary depending on the product. In addition, several of our store locations are certified kosher. As all of our locations are individually owned and operated, you will need to ask your local store directly if they are certified kosher.
All I can add is. Speak to your Rav. Your lust for blood is bordering on the unhealthy. If you believe yesh din vyesh dayan, you wouldn’t obsess with this.
Its easy enough to find out if his attorneys are from the public defenders office. Either way, who cares? Perhaps its his family. Perhaps he has money stashed away in the cayman islands. Perhaps the lawyers arer working pro bono. The lust for venegence is getting a bit out of hand. Is this all you have to worry about?
(Needless to say, this is not a psak) I would imagine one could not pattur up an obligation of tzedaka by doing chessed, even if the IRS allows it.
DY. I think you are wrong. Girls get lost and waste lots of time on “lists”. If family “a”, utilizes shadchan cohen, and shadchan cohen mentions the girl to 4 boys who “are looking into her”, this girl does nothing but sit around until shadchan cohen gets back to her. Lets say she is lucky and after all is said and done after a month bachur gets back to shadchan cohen. Then the girls family spends a week looking into the boy. Finally, they agree to go out. If they go out 2-3 times, that might be over the course of 2-3 weeks. If it doesnt work out, its back to the drawing board. How many guys might a girl go out with in a year in this scenario, 5? 6? The avg guy on the other hand has shadchanim fawning all over him and can go out with 2,3 or more girls in a month if he wanted to, all the while keeping 3-4 girls in his back pocket “just in case”.
With all the statistics everyone is throwing around, has anyone done a study on girls and boys dating for 18 months, how many girls the avg guy might have dated during that time, compared to the number of guys the avg girl may have dated?
For about $13 on Amazon you can buy the Medelco universal filter. You can buy any coffee you like. Fits all Keurig machines.
Where do you get that datan kalos means lightheadedness? From Rashi in Kiddushin it appears the translation is easily persuaded. Light headedness is common translation for Kalus Rosh, which is not the same as datan kalos.
Where do you get that datan kalos means lightheadedness?
Certainly, halachos that are based on this principle are still in force today. For example the halacha that one man may not be secluded with 2 women.
“The point of Da’atan Kalos is that she had no desire on her own, she was won over.”
Which is more clearly spelled out in Rashi in Kiddushin peh amud b. The mishna says 2 woman are not a shmira for each other regarding yichud with a man. The gemara says it is because “ndk”. Rashi explains each one can be persuaded to sin (and the other one knows the possibility exists) so neither is worried about sinning and the other finding out. “Persuaded more quickly” is how Rashi interprets “ndk”, at least in kiddushin.
See the Maharal in chidushei aggados. This is a summary.
The lesson to both R’ Meir and R’ Akiva (very next gemara) is that even when one manages to completely separate themselves (he ties how the yetzer hara appeared to them to the passuk lo bashamayim vlo me’ever layam) from a yetzer hara it is because they worked on it and more importantly the torah that they learned is a special protection for them. When Hashem removes that protection, they are as vulnerable as everyone else. In fact, the greater the person, the greater the yetzer hara.
Under normal course of events, R’ Meir would not be nichshol, but the lesson to him is, you still need the siyata dishmaya, maybe even more than the average person.
It would be an interesting tidbit to know if this incident with the satan happened before or after the incident with bruriah.
Rashi is not trying to prove NDK.
Rashi mentions the story in the context that bruria “scoffed” (anyone have better translation?) at the halacha that 2 women do not act as a shemira for each other when with one man and an issur yichud remains because of NDK. As Rashi explains since they are easily swayed (at least as far as this topic is concerned – see gemara in sota, rotze kav echad etc) each woman will assume the other sinned and will not be embarressed to refrain herself. Bruria disagreed. R’ Meir proved that she could eventually be swayed. Where do you find that R’ Meir “failed” such a nisayon?
If you want pshat. Look at the gemara Rashi in Avoda Zara quotes. Kiddushin peh amud beis. Rashi in Kiddushin, tells you exactly what the term means.
AMI Magazines Aim for kids had a project for kids in last weeks issue. Baking cookies in the heat of a car. I’ll let you know in about 5 hours how they come out.
Is it helpful to tell someone, “hey, it happens to everyone”?
Who said you have to say anything? Perhaps all your friend wants is a shoulder to cry on and someone to understand she is going through a difficult time.
Shlishi. Yes. Basicly the point I was making is that despite the claims of some that the halacha follows R’ Eliezer, the CC clearly says that R’ Eliezer would not hold his opinion in our (he said his) generation.
I’m very confused. Every bachur I try to redt a shidduch to is always busy with a girl and has this loooong list of names. What names do these bachurim have, if not for girls? Is the same girl on everyones list that we are talking about an imbalance? Girls cant get dates because you redt a shidduch to a a guy and he adds the name to his list and never does anything with it. Shadchanim are facilitating girls getting put on lists, not going out with anyone. I propose shadchanim revoke a shidduch suggestion from a bachur after a reasonable amount of time passes without a firm commitment (yes or no) from the bachur. If it happens enough times, the list will dwindle to nothing and suddenly bachur (and his mother) will start getting nervous about how he has no dates. In fact, I think the whole process should be reversed with shadchanim mentioning the names of bachurim to the girls first. Let them compile long lists of boys names and take their time making decisions. Within a year we will be hearing about all those “older” bachurim who cant get a date.
This is getting a little to sci-fi, but why not implant a tracking device in every kid a few days after they are born. There wont even be a shayla for those who dont wear a watch on shabbos where there is no eruv. In fact, you will be able to keep tabs on your teens as well. Want to make sure he is in the beis medrash instead of the bowling alley, activate the locater. Want to make sure your teenage daughter is really at her friend studying and not at the mall with the wrong crowd, its a good thing you implanted that locater.
I agree with the maniac. I think we are going a little bit to far here.
It is to early to place an order for 2 dozen latkes and 4 dozen apricot hamantash?
Shlishi. According to the CC. In the time of R’ Eliezer they didnt their daughters ANY torah. They learned from their parents (mothers?) what to do and not to do.
For some context. Rashi in avoda relates the story that beruriah disagreed with the saying of chazal “nashim datan kalos aleyhen” which Rashi tells us was said in kiddushin peh amud beis(the statement appears elsewhere in shas too, but rashi specifies this place) where the gemara says this is the reason 2 women may not be secluded with one man. Rashi (in kiddushin anyway) explains datan kalos to mean that they are easily persuaded, and since it is the case, neither woman would be afraid or ashamed to do an aveira because they figure the other will do so as well. Beruriah objected to this explanation Rashi in avoda zAra tells us. R’ Meir sent one of his talmidim who eventually did persuade her (not that she actually did), and out of embarresment she killed herself. I thought I saw it mentioned that r’ meir was able to enter a “beis zonos” and emerge unscathed. It should be pointed out that r’ meir purposely entered that place because he was being chased by the romans who wanted to kill him (for rescuing his siter in law – bruriahs sister – from a beis zona – oh, and she never sinned). What are we trying to prove with this rashi?
The opinion of Rabbi Eliezer in the Mishna in Sotah that was quoted in previous thread “as if he taught her tiflus”, according to the Choftez Chaim (brought in likutei halachos) was applicable back in the time of R” Eliezer. Nowadays, he wouldn’t hold this opinion according to the CC. It should be pointed out there are two other opinions in the mishna as well. One that one is obligated to teach his daughter torah (ben azzai) and one that I’m not quite sure how to put into words that the mods will allow. See the gemara on chaf beis amud beis.
It would seem to me that the analysis of the OP is very much along the lines of the chofetz chaim in likutei halachos.
The Debretziner in a teshuva about swimming on shiva assar bitammuz (I forget the exact mareh makom right now), discusses an activity that is not inherently “hanah” (in his teshuva, he is discussing bathing in cold water), if it is made enjoyable (in his case swimming) is it prohibited as something which is a pleasurable activity. He concludes that it is not (which is why he says swimming on the fast day is halachicly permitted (he adds, that for hashems house, perhaps we can forgo the swimming anyway). I (not the debritziner) would apply that logic here. Cooking is not inherently an activity that is prohibited by chazal during the three weeks, that it gives you enjoyment is not a reason to prohibit it. That you will have enjoyment from this activity in 2 and a half months, is probably not a reason to forbid it either. Of course, I am just apushatayid. Ask a posek.
“Favorite Frozen Pizza “
I hate frozen pizza. I wait until it thaws out.
But you are likely crazy if you are unsure 🙂
Need a kazoo player?
I’m not familiar with the gemara, or the Rashi, only as they were quoted in another thread. Those who did learn this gemara/Rashi, did you look to see if the Mahrsha, Iyun Yackov, Mahral or Ben Yehoyada talk about this gemara/rashi?
A rose is a rose is a rose.