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We already have jewish musicians playing non jewish music. just go to the average jewish wedding or concert.
Not only are they discussing it, but some of the most vile anti semitic comments are found there as well.
Its too bad YWN has not implemented the “ignore” feature other boards and blogs use, this way it would be possible to “ignore”, or opt out, of viewing the postings of selected users.
WE DO. WE EXPOSE EVERY NEW JOSEPH USERNAME AS SOON AS WE CAN.
Ask the shadchanim why they always approach the boys side first. Maybe some will make the radical departure and speak with the girls side first.
Does it say don’t teach, or does it say, women should not learn. The difference being that there is no mitzvah of talmud torah, but if they choose to on their own, their is nothing wrong on their part.
In todays bais yackov type high schools and seminaries girls may not sit down in front of a gemara, but they certainly learn gemara. Many meforshei tanach routinely refer to gemaras in their explanations of pesukim and when learning these meforshim in depth, these sources are learned. Many of the things we say in the haggada on leil pesach are torah she baal peh, is there a posek anywhere that says, send the women out at these parts? It implies there is nothing implicitely wrong with learning a gemara. I don’t know what the mechaber etc.. mean, but it is difficult to say it is absolutely forbidden for them to be exposed to and even taught on some level, torah she baal peh. (The next statement is superfluos, but the CR being what it is, I feel compelled to write it) Obviously I am not saying anything lihalacha, I don’t even know if what I wrote is true, they are merely observations that say “look into this further”.
Like I said previously, my wife and I will continue to use both our names in all our correspondence including invitations until my Rav tells me not to. He has received 3 invitations from us for various simchos so far (may we be zoche to many more) and has not made a single comment about my wifes name appearing on the invitation. If “her na” is your ravs geder, so be it, he can make all the gedarim he wants for himself, and those who seek his guidance. My rav calls his rebbetzin by her name when calling to her, “her na” is obviously not his geder.
When I was a bachur I was a frequent guest at the home of the Plonis. I thought for quite some time that Mrs. Plonis name was “Herna” because that is how she was addressed by her husband.
Droid. That is the mailing address.
The invitation is “traditionally” from Mr. and Mrs. Charles and Charlene Cohen.
“So far all the invitations that I recieve are addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Humble Me”
Thats because the mailing labels we used were not big enough to accommodate the entire name. In fact our invitations were sent out to Mr. & MRs. A and S Strauss
For some people, a seudah with 700 guests might be a problem. Everyone has to know themselves and set limits for themselves as they see fit. If you do set a limit on yourself, that’s wonderful, it does not mean the rest of the world must now adopt your limits or that your limits are now the accepted standard. If you feel it is detrimental to your marriage and/or your yiras shamayim to have another couple over for a meal, then by all means don’t invite another couple or don’t accept such an invitation.
I don’t know what happened, but I do know that on bar mitzvah invitations we are sending out it says clearly , mr and mrs avraham and sarah cohen not mr and mrs avraham cohen, would like to invite…
Last time I checked my wifes full name was written on the kesubah, not “bas ploni” and until my rav tells me otherwise will continue to print invitations this way. Iy”h when it comes time to wedding invitations, we hope the mechutanim think the same way, but will cross that bridge when we get to it.
Charlie. it is true there is no extradition treaty. In this particular case, the defendent was to israel and back at least 5 times since being served. If he wanted to run away and not come back, he would have done that already. The defendents voluntarily surrendered to the FBI and appeared in court willingly. Despite that, the prosecutor still insisted they were a flight risk because of their “ties to israel”. The judge thankfully saw through that and didn’t agree. He did place limited restrictions on their movement though. They can’t leave the state without prior notification.
We don’t have a single Rav or Gadol in America? We have to get our mussar and hadracha from an anonymous letter purportedly written by an Autistic child in Monsey?
And wearing bumblebee costumes.
Seriously though, many guys and gals who I know that are on the cusp of dating really have no concept of what marriage is. Many of the guys seem to believe it is simply continuing learning in yeshiva with the same chavrusa and same chevra, only now instead of his father paying tuition is is covered by his shver and meals comes from the wife instead of the yeshiva dining room. Many of the gals seem to believe that nothing significantly will change either. They will still go to class at the local degree mill or touro or still go to work and instead of going home to their parents they will go home to a new roomate called “my husband”.
You dont beat them, because in america the law is you dont kidnap, beat and threaten to kill people, no matter how noble the cause. The law doesnt like vigilante justice. With that said, I think we should be even more concerned with the FBIs insistence at the hearing in Trenton yesterday the the couple be forced to wear monitoring bracelets because their ties to Israel make them a risk to flee, the judge didnt buy that argument though (heard from someone who was in Trenton yesterday).
Wolf. Where can I pick up one of those costumes?
The Debritziner in the Beer Moshe, cheleck Gimmel Siman ayin Zayin, discusses this very shayla. I dont know if external link to hebrewbooks page of this sefer will be allowed, here it is on the chance that it will be permitted…. http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=888&st=&pgnum=116
If the link is not allowed, here is the summary. For his full teshuva, see the sefer.
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Times surely have changed. 18 years ago, we (my wife and I) were encouraged by our rabbeim to invite other couples from the yeshiva to our shabbos and yom tov seudos and they were encouraged to do the same.
I can see not paying staff, or paying a very minimal amount. But charging someone who will work for you, almost as much as you would any other camper, that I dont see as yashrus. On the other hand, nobody is forcing anyone to take any job where they dont like the pay, so, anyone who takes such a job under those conditions really has no right to complain.
I can speculate why a R”Y wouldnt sign. The next logical step in this progression is for bachurim to start dating at a younger age (if they dont, we will have a new scourge on our hands, girls 19-21 years old who nobody is dating because the R”Y directed bachurim to date girls closer in age – these girls will have little to do but go to college not just a degree mill in BP which gets them a piece of paper in 9 months or less – then, we will have another problem on our hands, nobody willing to date these “college girls”) Which ultimately means leaving the yeshiva at an earlier age.
What would be more productive than convincing bachurim to date girls closer in age, would be a directive to bachurim (and there mothers) to stop shaking down the parents of females for every dime to their name in order to allow their tzadikel to even consider dating their daughter.
I believe it is possible.
Why would anyone want to be a moderator?
In the time of the beis hamikdash when beis din tried capital cases, how did the general population react? Did bloodthirsty crowds gather in shuls and write on the blogs of the time to exhort beis din to stone the guy? Did beis din say “what a monster, death”? Perhaps someone who has learned through sanhedrin can enlighten us?
DY. Ok. Of the families that you know that have daughters above the age of 25, what percentage of those families have a single daughter. How many people can say 1/3?
MDD. This is not a democracy. The editors of Pravda had a more lenient policy towards those who disagreed with them. These are the rules under one attempts to post a message in the CR. You have to take the good with the bad. Zeh hachaim. Hachaim lo picnic.
Is there anyone who can make the same claim as the OP that 1/3 of the litvishe families they know have.a 25+ year old single daughter?
DH. Anyone can set whatever standards they want for admission into a school, including dress. The point you apparently missed was rejecting those who “do not conform to the halachos of tznius”, not this high level of tznius for “baale madrega” as they were referred to. This is what “gets peoples goat” as the saying goes. If you reject someone for “not adhering to our chumros and standards in tznius” that is one thing. To simply say “she doesnt conform to the halachos of tznius, is quite another. Unfortunately, the latter statement is made by those “baalei madrega”.
“basic halachos of tznius??”
You REALLY want to know? Ask your Rav.
Droid. If there are so many more available boys than girls, why has the emphasis and all the hand wringing over the “shidduch crisis” centered around girls? Why have initiatives that have been started all been geared to getting more boys into the dating pool, not less?
“Pushing chumros onto everyone?
Did someone come to your house and tell you that your women must dress a certain way or suffer consequences?”
They dont have to. By excluding families (from schools for example) that do not dress this way and labeling them “untznius” is more than enough. Rabbeinu Tam tefillin is also for ballei madrega, would you say someone who doesnt wear these tefillin are not following halacha?
“Or do you mean that the guilt you feel from not wanting to be a ba’al madreigah compels you to dress in a certain level of tznius that you feel is above you?”
I have not seen anyone label dressing a certain way “madreigadik”, just tsniusdik.
“Most beis yaakovs in New York give them out to the students.”
Perhaps this is true in Boro Park.
Either that, or the chacham will recognize you for the fool that you are (not YOU specifically) and ignore the gibberish.
I for one, am very looking forward to what Rav Lieff Shlita will say tonight.
“The letter” that keeps getting mentioned has signatures of R”Y who encourage closer in age shidduchim, nothing more, nothing less. My R” Y is signed onto that letter. It is all he signed on to. anything else espoused by Nasi and claims to be endorsed by the signers of the letter is not endorsed by my R”Y and in fact, each signatory to the letter would have to be asked if they agree. Be that as it may, I am aware of NO R’Y who has advocated bachurim en masse getting married earlier as a solution to anything. Bachurim, hopefully start to date when they are mature enough to handle the process, not sooner, no matter what their age or how many available bachurim are needed to match up with available girls.
Over shabbos, I overheard this very conversation between several married women (my wife among them) and an older single girl (35+). Someone made the comment that there are more girls than boys, this single quickly corrected that statement to, there are many more “good girls” than there are “good boys”. I didnt catch the specifics of this distinction, but the way my wife understood it is that this girl is not lacking for dates (nor was she), even at the age of 35. The girls feel that there are so many more “good girls” than available “good boys” (however they define the term).
“Refuting the liberal claims about the tragedy.”
Are there liberal claims about this tragedy?
Rav Falks sefer seems to be accepted in the chassidishe world (emphasis on seems). In the litvishe world, not only is it not accepted, I know rabbonim (mine included) who have told people not to use it, even as reference.
Supply and demand. Nobody said it was yashrus though.
This isn’t limited to camps though. I recently overheard several seminary age girls on the “F” train heading to a job interview at a “heimishe” business for a basic 9-5 office secretary type job(I wont reveal the business name for obvious reasons). They were discussing What they would answer if asked what their salary expectations were. One girl said she would ask for $250 a week and another replied, dont, she knows another girl who asked for that earlier in the week on her interview and was told that they were not looking to pay that much.
Back to camps for a second. When counselors were employees and paid by the camp, they took their responsibility to ensure a good time for their campers a lot greater. Now, while as a whole they are a group of good boys and girls, since they have to pay to be in camp, or dont get paid for doing their job, they seek to maximize their own fun as well, sometimes to the detriment of the campers.
The challenge ahead is to explain to our kids that on the one hand if c’v they need help, they ask for it, while simultaneously being suspicious of those who they ask for help.
Some of the basics should be, always ask for help in a well lit public place and ask publicly for help, so that more than one person is aware you need help. Ask those helping you to call your parents or guardian AND 911. Remain where you are and wait for your parents or the police, do NOT get into anyone elses car, no matter how nice he or she seems.
Just to echo an earlier sentiment. How is a male on male crime, perpetrated on someone from perhaps the most tzanua of neighborhoods an indication that other women from other neighborhoods must improve their own tnnius? If that is your take away from this tragedy, then act on it, others have made their own individual cheshbon hanefesh and have come to different conclusions. This doesn’t mean anyone is right or wrong. Perhaps everyone is right, perhaps everyone is wrong, although I don’t believe that an honest and sincere cheshbon hanefesh can be wrong. Incomplete, perhaps. As for the klal, I will leave it to my rav to determine where the kehilla as a whole is lacking and where it can improve.
Whatever the torah says, simply doesn’t apply to a non jewish court system. Instead of bickering about a hypothetical situation (may it be non hypothetical bikarov) talk about ways to be michazek those who need chizuk in dealing with this terrible situation. There are plenty of those.
Droid. You missed my point entirely.
Oomis. If there are no eidim and/or hasrah will a beis din ever issue a psak of death? Much of what we know is based on his own admission. I’m no expert in halacha but I’m pretty sure his admission is not enough for a beis din to convict. On the flip side, I’m also pretty sure “insanity” is not a valid defense in beis din. Either way, he is going to be tried under the laws of the state of NY. He was charged with “murder 1” which under NY law if found guilty carries a penalty of life with no chance of parole. All other discussions are purely hypothetical and theoretical.
Its easiest to point fingers at everyone and everything else. It helps one avoid making their own cheshbon hanefesh.
Does anyone believe the death penalty is a detterant for a phsycopath or someone who is clinically insane? With that said, as a community, we must learn how to identify such people and report them to the appropriate authorities. Some clarification of the laws of lashon hara and the ever dreaded word “mesira” by Rabbonim would be very helpful to.
If you had to make the return in person, in front of a long line of customers would you do it? That is my litmus test for yashar for the average person.
I know this story firsthand, I witnessed the phone conversation. Someone called Lands End asking if it was possible to buy just a pair of pants from a suit. He explained that he gained weight and needed the next size pants but not the next size jacket. He went round and round with the agent who finally convinced him to return the pants for the next size. He tried explaining that he wasn’t unhappy with the pants, and she told him but you are unhappy, with the size, send it back for the next one. He explained that he WAS happy with the pants, he was not satisfied that he gained weight. After 15 minutes of going round and round he finally gave in and accepted the RMA number to make the exchange. Same company, I had a shirt that the collar frayed. It was at least 3 years after I bought it. They asked me to send it to them for analysis. I did and forgot about it. About 6 weeks later I got a check for the full purchase price of the shirt along with a note explaining how their lab determined that the fibers used in the shirt were not up to their standards and it should not have frayed. They may not be the most stylish or have the coolest logo, but we keep going back to them.
Alternatively, be prepared to date almost every free minute in between semesters. If you are interested in dating, be prepared to have to miss class time in order to do so. If you do meet the right guy, circumstances may dictate that you relocate to his city, or to a 3rd city so be prepared to transfer to a new school. Whatever you decide, much hatzlacha.
Several thoughts.
1: Did Paroh kill any jews personally? Haman?
2: Is hitler y”sh evil because he killed jews or because he preached a certain hatred towards jews?
3: Would hitler y”sh be any less an evil person if the german population resisted him?
4: Harbei shluchim lamakom. He didnt have to volunteer for the job (the Rambam says something very similar regarding mitrayim).
“the emphasis on tznius (which, to the best of my knowledge, wasn’t mentioned ONCE during the levaya)”
Perhaps there is a reason for this “glaring omission”.
A coworker of mine loves fish. In fact has a 60 gallon fishtank on his desk at work. He only buys his fish from petstores that guarantee their fish for at least a week. I’m not quite sure how they can make such a guarantee, but witnessed him return 2 dead fish to the store for a full refund, no questions asked ($4 a fish).
When companies consider their return policies, they weight all risks including those customers who will take advantage of them. As long as it doesnt hurt their reputation or bottom line, they will put up with those customers.
The only thing I will say for certainty is that the torah demands “midvar sheker tirchak” even if the return policy is quite liberal.