Forum Replies Created

Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 203 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • in reply to: Quotes #1288515

    bmyer
    Participant

    “We can complain that rose bushes have thorns or we can rejoice that thorn bushes have roses.” -Abraham Lincoln

    “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein

    “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” ibid

    “You aren’t a failure until you start to blame”. – John Wooden

    in reply to: Quotes #1288512

    bmyer
    Participant

    Tell me and I forget, teach me and I remember, involve me and I learn. – Benjamin Franklin

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1288494

    bmyer
    Participant

    Marvin blackstein – the big boss at his company – was complaining in the staff meeting that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read:

    “I’m the Boss!”

    He then taped it to his office door.

    Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

    “Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1288492

    bmyer
    Participant

    Sam was out shopping at the mall when he meets his friend Abe outside the jewelers. Sam notices that Abe has a small gift-wrapped box in his hand.

    “So what have you just purchased Abe?” Sam asks.

    “Well, now that you’ve asked,” replies Abe, “it’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow and when I asked her this morning what she wanted for her birthday she said, ‘Oh, I don’t know, dear, just give me something with a lot of diamonds in it.'”

    “So what did you get her?” Sam asks.

    Abe replies, smiling, “I bought her a pack of cards.”

    in reply to: Quotes #1287895

    bmyer
    Participant

    “The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.”
    “Life’s problems wouldn’t be called “hurdles” if there wasn’t a way to get over them.”
    “To the world, you may be one person; but to one person, you may be the world.”
    “The only reward of taking the easy path is that it’s easy.”
    “There are no short cuts to any place worth going.”
    “Don’t tell God how big your problems are. Tell your problems how big God is.”
    “The Biggest Mistake you could ever make is being to afraid to make one.”

    in reply to: Quotes #1287886

    bmyer
    Participant

    “Who is rich? One who is satisfied with his lot.”
    “Who is strong? One who overpowers his inclinations.”

    -Ben Zoma Pirkei Avos

    in reply to: Quotes #1287885

    bmyer
    Participant

    If Israel were to put down its arms there would be no more Israel. If the Arabs were to put down their arms there would be no more war.” – Bibi Netanyahu

    in reply to: Quotes #1287883

    bmyer
    Participant

    “The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

    in reply to: Quotes #1287881

    bmyer
    Participant

    “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” -Abe Lincoln

    in reply to: Quotes #1287880

    bmyer
    Participant

    Do not look at the vessel, but what is in it.”
    Jealousy, lust, and honor remove a person from the world.”

    – Pirkei Avos

    in reply to: Quotes #1287862

    bmyer
    Participant

    “Who is a smart man? He who looks into the future.” – Pirkei Avos

    in reply to: Quotes #1287836

    bmyer
    Participant

    “I’ve failed over and over again in my life, and that’s why I succeed.” – Michael jordan
    “I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying.” – ibid

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1286789

    bmyer
    Participant

    A couple were recently engaged. All seemed well until he heard some awful rumors about the girl. Eventually he decided to confront her.

    “Is it true what I hear?” he asked. “That the only reason why you are marrying me is because my grandfather left me $6 million?”

    “Don’t be silly!” she responded , “I couldn’t care less who left it to you.”

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1286367

    bmyer
    Participant

    “Yes, there are some worth Satmar mosdos who do incredible work here in hospitals etc., this chilul hashem trivializes those efforts”.

    Are you hashem? Do you know what hashem considers great or trivial? How do you that it’s a chilul hashem? If done right it can be a major kiddush hashem…

    “Their mindless claims”

    The Satmar rebbe was a bigger tzaddik than you or I will ever be even though we may not agree and our rabbanim might not agree that does not mean you can disrespect hashem and those close to him…

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1286067

    bmyer
    Participant

    LB: Was it a joke in the shiur?

    in reply to: Why the husband is in the driver’s seat 🤵🚗 #1286040

    bmyer
    Participant

    “She’ll be trading in the convertible for a married lady’s car suitable for hauling groceries, etc.”

    CTL: What’s wrong with hauling groceries in a convertible?

    in reply to: Emuna #1286045

    bmyer
    Participant

    I heard a great vort that can be related here as well imho.
    The mishnah says “hevey dan es kol haadam l’kaf zechus” which translates to “you should judge all man favourably.”
    The question is why does it say haadam “the” man it seems extra?

    The beautiful answer is that you should read it as “if you judge the [whole] man it will be favourably.
    Meaning…if you saw the WHOLE “person” ( as in his “pekeleh” / life story / motivations etc… ) it would be CLEAR why you shouldn’t judge him.
    (It’s much better in hebrew but I can’t type it…sorry)
    I think you could apply a similar hashkafah here because we can’t see the full picture by anyone or ourselves but if we did…

    in reply to: Why the husband is in the driver’s seat 🤵🚗 #1286043

    bmyer
    Participant

    “This is even the case among frum families where women are permitted to drive.”

    Joseph: I know plenty of families that the wife is the primary driver..it’s usually just whoever likes driving more / whoever is more comfortable driving..and that’s how it should be…

    in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1286034

    bmyer
    Participant

    No to the details but I’m pretty sure the barclays center doesn’t seat anywhere near 50,000..more like 15,000…

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1286027

    bmyer
    Participant

    On a beautiful Sabbath morning, all of the members of the congregation were praying dutifully in their seats.

    Suddenly, at the bimah, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the synagogue except for one man who sits calmly in his seat, seemingly oblivious to what’s going on. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to him and says, “Hey, don’t you know who I am?”
    “Yes” he answers.
    “Well, aren’t you afraid of me?”
    “Nope.”
    Satan, perturbed, says, “And why aren’t you afraid of me?”

    “Well, I’ve been married to your sister for 25 years. How much worse could you be?”

    in reply to: Quotes #1286022

    bmyer
    Participant

    There’s no I in team. But there’s an I in win. – Michael Jordan

    There’s no I in team. There’s no U either. – guy I know

    There’s no I in team. There is M-E… – guy I know

    in reply to: Quotes #1286023

    bmyer
    Participant

    “I’m not doing nothing I’m DOING nothing.” – Every guy ever…

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1284512

    bmyer
    Participant

    The introduction to this joke is that it’s a joke…

    In the Garden of Eden, Adam often wandered the fields until late in the evening. One morning, Eve became suspicious. “Why are you always out so late? Are you seeing another woman?” she asked.

    “Nonsense,” Adam responded. “You’re the only woman for me. In fact, you’re the only woman on earth.”

    The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.

    It was Eve.

    “What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.

    “Counting your ribs,” said Eve.

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1284519

    bmyer
    Participant

    Moshe and Leah go out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, Leah notices a tear in Moshe’s eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together.

    “No,” Moshe replies. “I was thinking about the time before we got engaged. Your father threatened me and said he’d have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn’t marry you. Tomorrow I would’ve been a free man!”

    in reply to: ANYONE HAVE GOOD JOKES #1284516

    bmyer
    Participant

    A rabbi was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

    The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing with that dog?”

    One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”

    Of course, the rabbi was taken aback. “You boys shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie,” and ending with, “Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.”

    There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the rabbi was beginning to think he’d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give him the dog.”

    in reply to: ANYONE HAVE GOOD JOKES #1284515

    bmyer
    Participant

    Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk.

    One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.

    “This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr.”

    “This is my second son. He is a martyr also.”

    After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully, “They blow up so fast, don’t they?”

    in reply to: ANYONE HAVE GOOD JOKES #1284514

    bmyer
    Participant

    A rabbi was giving his first sermon at the inauguration of the new shul. The sanctuary had wonderful new stained glass windows, so he wanted to craft his sermon to highlight the new windows, and also talk about how the new shul should serve as an important place to educate the children of the community. The rabbi’s message centered on how each child is like a canvas, a picture, just like each pane of stained glass.

    And then he said, “You see each one of you is a little pane.” And then pointing to each child, “You’re a little pane. And you’re a little pane. And you’re a little pane. And…”

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1283491

    bmyer
    Participant

    An old couple in their late 80s called a handyman to do some work around their condo.

    “Honey why don’t you sit down by the table and we’ll start supper,” she said to her husband of 50 years.

    “Sure thing,”he replied, settling himself down.

    “Now darling, would you like the soup first or the salad?” she asked.

    “Umm I guess I’ll take the soup,” he responded.

    After a whole meal of one endearing term after another, the handyman who was watching in disbelief couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. He snuck into the kitchen and asked, “Excuse me ma’am. Do you always talk to your husband like that?”

    “Son, I’ll be honest with you,” she replied. “It’s been five years now, and I just can’t remember his name but I am just too embarrassed to ask!”

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1283503

    bmyer
    Participant

    A little boy is at his cousins wedding and asks his mom, “Mommy, why does the bride wear white on her wedding day?”

    His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”

    He thinks about this, and then says, “Well then why is the groom wearing black?”

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1283498

    bmyer
    Participant

    Wife tells her husband, “I’m short some ingredients for the cake I’m baking, so could you please get some things for me from the supermarket?”

    “Of course I can, darling,” he replies. “What do you need?”

    “Please get one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six.”

    Fifteen minutes later, he returns with six cartons of milk.

    Why on earth did you buy six cartons of milk?”

    “Because they had eggs,” he replies with a smile.

    in reply to: Losing the battle against technology? ⚔️ 📵 #1282952

    bmyer
    Participant

    “You can’t battle against technology because you don’t have any weapons.”

    RY: You have the torah, davening, siyata d’shmaya and yiras shomayim those are as powerful weapons as you can get…

    The war is not over! The war will never be over!! As long as there are yidden that care about hashem and his torah the war will not be over!!!!!

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1282950

    bmyer
    Participant

    Very good! I have a lot more but if noone wants to hear or share i’ll keep them to myself…

    in reply to: Schools! 🏫🏫 #1282949

    bmyer
    Participant

    We don’t know you and your “various reasons”…also you want a school “for just twelfth graders” ??

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1282666

    bmyer
    Participant

    A couple was expecting their first child and signed up for birthing classes.

    “Ok everyone,” said the instructor trying to get everyone’s attention. “We are going to do an exercise now, that’s purpose is to help the men sympathize with their partners.”

    “We have here what’s called a pregnancy suit,” said the instructor, holding up an artificial stomach with a strap. “This imitates the feeling of being pregnant. Which husband volunteers to be the first one to try it on?”

    “I will” said the husband, taking the suit and trying it on. “This isn’t too bad,” he said, walking around the room. “I think I could get used to this.”

    “Ok”, said the instructor smiling. “Now I would like you to bend down and pick up my pen from the floor.”

    “You want me to pick it up? Just as I would if I was pregnant?”

    “Yes!” said the instructor.

    “Honey,” he said turning to his spouse “do you mind picking up that pen for me?”

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1282631

    bmyer
    Participant

    That may be be true but you can definitely make jokes about marriage…
    Just trying to lighten the mood around here…

    in reply to: dating YOUNGER 2.0 👦 #1282644

    bmyer
    Participant

    So yes. But…

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1282638

    bmyer
    Participant

    Shimon and Reuven are playing golf one day at their local golf course. Shimon is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.

    He stops in mid-swing, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.

    Reuven says, “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. Shimon, you truly are a kind man.”

    To which Shimon replies, “Well we were married for 35 years.”

    in reply to: marriage jokes 💍😂 #1282188

    bmyer
    Participant

    Sam is enjoying his 80th birthday party with family and friends. Even Rabbi Landau is present. Sam is so happy that he decides now is the time to let out his secret and to everybody’s surprise, announces his forthcoming marriage to 50-year-old Hetty.

    Everyone comes up to wish them mazel tov. Later, Rabbi Landau takes Sam aside and says, “Don’t be offended, but I must ask you a few questions. Do you really love Hetty?”

    “To tell you the truth, Rabbi, I’m not sure,” Sam replies.

    “Well, is she a good cook? Is her chicken soup special?” asks Rabbi Landau.

    “I’m not sure, I’ve never seen her in the kitchen, Rabbi,” Sam replies.

    “Is Hetty rich?” he asks.

    “I’m not sure about her finances, we’ve never discussed money,” replies Sam.

    “But if you don’t know whether you love her, if you’re not sure whether she’s a good cook, or if you don’t know whether she’s rich, why on earth do you want to marry her?” asks Rabbi Landau.

    “She can drive at night,” replies Sam.

    in reply to: dating YOUNGER #1282165

    bmyer
    Participant

    The other thread is asking parents this is asking the girl…would you let yourself but not your kid…?

    in reply to: MORE shidduchim 👰🤵👰🤵👰🤵 #1273309

    bmyer
    Participant

    WTP: So basicly when you get there you’ll know…
    Is that for girls only or also guys?

    in reply to: Shabbos soap: Liquid vs bar #1272377

    bmyer
    Participant

    I’m no posek but i’m 99.9 % sure that it is ASSUR to use bar soap on shabbos.
    Liquid is also a problem so I recommend that you ask your LOR…

    in reply to: MORE shidduchim 👰🤵👰🤵👰🤵 #1272365

    bmyer
    Participant

    “One needs a lot of siyata dishmaya to find her/his other half, so a lot of davening is necessary.”
    EXACTLY! If only people understood that then they wouldn’t be so picky!

    “Marriage is supposed to be about uniting 2 halves of a neshama. I think when people talk about “just knowing he was right” they mean that their neshamos connected,”

    Can you explain that?

    in reply to: How did Rabbi Akiva die? #1272361

    bmyer
    Participant

    “Huh? How could you say that?”
    meno: For EVERY jew that was not religious and wouldn’t have become (which was a lot) it was the BEST thing that could have ever happened to them!

    Also like LU said: ” Everything that happens is the best thing that can happen to everyone. ”
    Meaning themselves and/or the world…

    in reply to: How did Rabbi Akiva die? #1271904

    bmyer
    Participant

    During the holocaust, the Gedolim tried to save as many Jews as they could – they didn’t say, “Great, they get to die al kiddush Hashem. Better they should die al kiddush Hashem now than die later not al kiddush Hashem.”
    There is a halacha that you can’t stand idly and watch your brother die (which is any jew) therefore if you have a chance to save them you MUST.
    That being said, for a lot (not all) of the jews that died in the holocaust r”l it was without question the best thing that ever happened to them and us…

    in reply to: How did Rabbi Akiva die? #1271900

    bmyer
    Participant

    “Another example at the end of vidui on Yom kippur we say “..Mah shechatasi lefanecha mechok berachamecha harabim aval lo al yidei Yissurim….”
    ubiq:
    Dying al kiddush hashem and having yissurim are NOT the same thing and you can most definitely have one without the other…

    in reply to: I saw a fidget spinner last Shabbos… #1271880

    bmyer
    Participant

    I’ve seen and used them and I don’t get it…

    in reply to: MORE shidduchim 👰🤵👰🤵👰🤵 #1271862

    bmyer
    Participant

    Sorry for not getting back earlier was busy the past few days…
    Part of the question was about people going out with the mindset that you’re going to marry THIS girl or guy. Most people do not fall in love at first site or even after ten dates (even if they think they do it’s not real love..contrary to the west’s’ opinion…) also being able to “stand” or “talk” to each other goes without saying but liking every single thing that he or she does or, that because you like the same food (insert any other example here) your marriage is going to be perfect. Marriage is not easy (huge understatement) it’s a work in progress, you get out what you put in…(insert cliche here). THEREFORE if you have similar hashkafas, are holding in similar places in life and understand that nobody is perfect then why not get married to him or her?
    ” I always tell shadchanim that personality is more important to me than hashkafa.”
    LU: Why? (unless that’s what you mean by personality)

    in reply to: MORE shidduchim 👰🤵👰🤵👰🤵 #1271868

    bmyer
    Participant

    It is possible, and it is done in chassidish circles and to a somewhat lesser extent, in Israeli Chareidi Litvish circles. The parents check out extensively, in essence do the preliminary get-to-know you dating, so by the time the couple meets, they know that this can really be someone they can marry. There is no need for prolonged dating then.

    Why is it not done in “our” circles? Why do we have the “need” for prolonged dating?

    in reply to: MORE shidduchim 👰🤵👰🤵👰🤵 #1270410

    bmyer
    Participant

    LU I wasn’t disagreeing with that option just clarifying. Back to the original point of this thread is it possible for two nice jewish people who are holding in a similar place in yiddishkite and have similar hashkafas (i.e. yiras shomayim gadlus hatorah…) to go out with the INTENT of getting married? Not to see if you “click” or are “perfect together” ?
    Or maybe we have just been way too affected by western society and their portrayals of love, romance and..divorce…?

    in reply to: What's the secret to a good cholent? #1270411

    bmyer
    Participant

    Shabbos.

Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 203 total)


Trending