Ben Torah

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Viewing 50 posts - 301 through 350 (of 416 total)
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  • in reply to: Should Girls Learn to Drive? #699439
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Since most frum Americans live in Brooklyn, we are surely discussing them as much as any. And as you said, a car is not necessarily necessary in Brooklyn.

    How many Yidden live out of Brooklyn anyways? Everytime I leave Brooklyn, I see its like 95% goyim.

    in reply to: Should Girls Learn to Drive? #699423
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    SJS, why do you assume what you describe (“gallavanting around the country on public transportation”) is any more acceptable?

    in reply to: Weddings – How do you split the costs #698643
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    mosherose, that would only be applicable to the less expensive Chupa ring. The far more expensive “engagement ring”, doesn’t have that problem.

    in reply to: Contemporary Plural Marriage in Judaism #794250
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    SJS: How will one wife be able to manage all 45 kids? I would think she would need at least one more wife to stay home with her.

    in reply to: Yissachar or Zevulun #698480
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    It isn’t rare at all. Many Kollelim offer this partnership. And there are quite a number of takers.

    in reply to: CR Tehillim Group #698503
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Use this. Always good to have a new Tehilim thread!

    Yom Alef: Sacrilege

    Yom Beis:

    Yom Gimmel:

    Yom Daled:

    in reply to: Shidduchim for Children of Balaei Teshuva #699140
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Yeah, but I doubt its chasidesha shechita, so you still have a problem.

    (That’s a joke, btw.)

    Seriously, even if a non-frum person used a “kosher” food vendor, theres the possibility the vendor’s kashrus certification is not up to par.

    in reply to: Kohen following a Mes into a tunnel #698403
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Or to add to da’s question, how could a Kohein EVER enter a tunnel, unless he knew for sure there was NO meis?

    (Same when visiting someone in a hospital. There almost always are meisim in a hospital.)

    in reply to: Shidduchim for Children of Balaei Teshuva #699138
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    What’s the likelihood of a non-frum (especially anti-religious, but even if not so) person using a truly kosher caterer — especially considering kosher costs much more — for an event?

    Very unlikely.

    in reply to: Shidduchim for Children of Balaei Teshuva #699134
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Regarding entering a Reform or Conservative Church, see Igros Moshe O.C. 2:40 and Igros Moshe O.C. 3:25.

    Regarding tznius, it should be made absolutely clear that a frum or non frum relative or guest (of either a FFB or BT) is not welcome at a Simcha unless completely dressed per Hilchos Tznius.

    Regarding attending an event of a non-frum person, if there is mixed dancing, amongst other issurim (i.e. tznius), it would be prohibited.

    in reply to: Contemporary Plural Marriage in Judaism #794239
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    As far as what the Gedolim want, see the above references to the Vilna Gaon and Rav Ovadia Yosef.

    in reply to: Minhug Chasidus (Davening Late, Mikvah, Tish, etc.) #698498
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    mw13, there is a machlokes when shkiyah is, with many poskim ruling it is 40 to 58 1/2 minutes later than what is commonly referred to as shkiyah.

    Whenever you hold shkiyah is, it is best to daven mincha right before that shkiyah.

    in reply to: Contemporary Plural Marriage in Judaism #794237
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Its almost 1,000 years since Rabbeinu Gershom was niftar. Considering if he didn’t implement it just before passing away, its already likely over 1,000 years since implementation.

    In any event, The Shulchan Aruch (EH 1) says that the cherem was to have effect “ad sof ha’elef”, and some people have evidently taken that to mean “until the end of a millennium”, i.e. 1,000 years after it was enacted, but the correct translation is `until the end of the millennium’, i.e. the cherem expired at the end of the year 5,000, or about 300 years before the Mechaber’s own time. The Mechaber says, however, that those communities who accepted the cherem in the first place have continued to obey it even after the expiry date. The cherem now has the force of inhag, a minhag which has now lasted longer than the original cherem did.

    The Noda b’Yehuda in Mahadura Kama EH 1:84 brings a Rama from Shulcha Aruch EH 1, that says that the cherem (ban) on taking two wives was originally to expire at the end of the fifth millenium (i.e. 770 years ago). He says, however, that the cherem against divorcing a woman against her will (which is the subject of that particular tshuva) was intended to remain in effect permanently. He brings similar language in Mahadura Kama EH 1:1, Mahadura Tinyana EH 2:102 and Mahadura Tinyana EH 2:103.

    in reply to: Minhug Chasidus (Davening Late, Mikvah, Tish, etc.) #698496
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Horrified – 5 minutes on Shemoneh Esreh is usually sufficient time for many people.

    As far as devening late, it is actually an inyan (i.e. better) to daven Mincha as late as possible.

    in reply to: Shidduchim for Children of Balaei Teshuva #699110
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    frumladygit: And where did you find your bubbe maisa statistics regarding Lakewood and the “biggest” drug and alcohol problem? Clearly your ignorance of the facts resulted in that libel.

    Anonym613: Another reason you cannot attend a non-Orthodox wedding, in addition to the reasons enumerated earlier in the thread, in the inevitable lack of tznius that will take place at the event.

    in reply to: Contemporary Plural Marriage in Judaism #794224
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    I’m only asking regarding frum yidden. I’m aware that the Yemenites (Teimini) Yidden still marry more than one wife. Sefardim in general don’t have any halachic problem with it, and practiced it at least until the last few decades. (Only Ashkenazim were mekabel the Cherem.)

    in reply to: Makeup for 3-day Yom Tov #698948
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    You can look good without makeup, just like Bais Yaakov girls do.

    in reply to: Makeup for 3-day Yom Tov #698937
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Its okay to wear makeup ON a date. There isn’t a justification to wear it all the time because you are in shidduchim.

    in reply to: Shidduchim for Children of Balaei Teshuva #699096
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    pba, anon613 was referring to the BT’s non-frum family (not the BT themselves obviously.)

    in reply to: Makeup for 3-day Yom Tov #698934
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    The Gemorah in Shabbos 62b says that a reason for the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash was women used excessive cosmetics, and that a women should care about her appearance for the purposes of not being repulsive to her husband.

    in reply to: Weddings – How do you split the costs #698633
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Typically the girls family pays for the wedding hall.

    in reply to: Typing on chol Hamoed #1034947
    Ben Torah
    Participant
    in reply to: Tefilin On Chol hamoed In Eretz Yisroel #975676
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Going against the minhug hamokem is a breach in both halacha and proper etiquette.

    in reply to: Hashkofos & Apikorsos #699645
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Who is this history professor Assaf or Samet? Anything like the apikorus history professor Gershom Sholem? Lets hear from Talmidei Chachomim, not history professors.

    in reply to: Hashkofos & Apikorsos #699641
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    simcha613: From the OP: “it says in Chazal that the Gedolim of every generation have Ruach HaKodesh”.

    in reply to: When did dressing "yeshivish" start? #697989
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    What “different” definition of lo shinu es malbusheihem are you referring to?

    in reply to: How It All Began #698329
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    I’m with WIY all the way on this one. Well said. It truly is sad when people feel the liberty to make light at Daas Torah.

    in reply to: Hashkofos & Apikorsos #699619
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    so Rabbanim have the right to call other Rabbanim apikursim.

    The Rambam says someone who, in the course of his Torah learning, makes an honest mistake, misunderstands something he sees in the Torah, and erroneously derives from the Torah a belief that is actually Apikorsus – the Rambam holds this person is an Apikores. (The Raavad holds that he is not, however, he agrees that even though the person himself is not considered an Apikores, his mistaken belief is indeed considered Apikorsus.)

    in reply to: How It All Began #698324
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    SJS, I’m glad you chose the appropriate category for this post — HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT!

    in reply to: Hats? #1039848
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    I like that idea Josh31. Starting the boys with hats several years before the Bar Mitzvah (as some communities already do) would be a wonderful idea.

    in reply to: Hats? #1039841
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Many Yidden do start giving a hat to children under Bar Mitzvah. In any event, Yekke’s and Sefardim start wearing taleisim at Bar Mitzvah. And in all cases they start wearing tefilin then (or very shortly beforehand.) So surely Bar Mitzvah is an appropriate age to start.

    in reply to: Tablecloths on Sukkos #698047
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    We’ll have to see what mamashtakah, the one who quoted this Rebbe (more than once, if I’m not mistaken), has to say to that.

    More than once indeed. Except last time (4 months ago) Moreinu v’Rabeinu HaGaon Shloimala Rosenbaum, shlita was the “Admor of Sherputz”: CLICK HERE, before recently being instated as the “Admor of Shaputnik” (per above) by mamashtakah.

    in reply to: When did dressing "yeshivish" start? #697964
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    The yeshivish world did not feel a need to dress differently than the goyim.

    Incorrect. Yidden have always dressed differently than the goyim. It is one of our hallmarks. Ever since there has been Yidden. A Yid dressed like a Yid.

    in reply to: What's Wrong With Therapy? #698378
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Most people who had gone to therapy sometime before marriage for issues with an overbearing parent or life’s stresses will not be passing on that information to anyone, including shadchanim and dates, anymore than they would mention their visit to a foot doctor 3 years prior. So generally you’ll never know of it in either event.

    in reply to: Sleeping in Sukkah #698258
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    WIY & Sister: Thank You.

    in reply to: Sleeping in Sukkah #698256
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    normally in a home the husband sleeps in the same room as his wife then he doesn’t have to sleep in the sukkah.

    Sister, that doesn’t make much sense. I would hope all husbands “sleeps in the same room as his wife”. That would negate the entire mitzvah if then “he doesn’t have to sleep in the sukkah.”

    in reply to: The Girls Parents Supporting #697813
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Well said yitzy99.

    in reply to: Where to go on a date? #722683
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    What’s the protocol? First date or two a lounge, next date or two a restaurant, then some some outdoor activities?

    in reply to: Respect: Why many dont have any and how to change? #697697
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Thank You Mr. Yid for sharing your thoughts.

    in reply to: is there some way we can get along? #698422
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    SJS, that statement said practicing gays should be welcomed and honored in schools and shuls!

    And the so-called ills of chariedi society you attribute, are actually worse on all accounts via-a-vis the MO.

    And did you miss Moq’s point the difference is the permissive ideology? NOT the individual sins – that are NOT condoned by anyone. NO rabbi said tax cheating is okay.

    in reply to: The Girls Parents Supporting #697792
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Sacrilege, its true it isn’t incumbant upon the in-laws to offer that support. But nor is it incumbent upon the bochor to marry their daughter if the support isn’t offered.

    in reply to: The Girls Parents Supporting #697789
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    SJS: Is it my fault you ate lunch at 11:00? Whoever heard of such an early lunch…

    in reply to: Where to go on a date? #722672
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Is Chelsea Piers appropriate for a date?

    in reply to: The Girls Parents Supporting #697787
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    APY: Girls have historically provided dowries even if not “the BEST bachur”.

    When you hear the various stories of rabbonim helping raise hachnosos kallah for a poor bride’s dowry, the indigent brides weren’t marrying what you call top bachur.

    in reply to: Respect: Why many dont have any and how to change? #697684
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Who said it is worse today than it was in previous generations?

    in reply to: What we are truly missing in this generation #697649
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    I completely agree with Kapusta. There are way too many unnecessary divorces. I would venture and say most divorces are avoidable.

    in reply to: is there some way we can get along? #698416
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Right Wing Orthodoxy also has its well known aveiros (they are more likely to hide molesters, cheat on taxes, pull lots of money shtick, and speak a ton of lashon hara compared to the MO groups I’ve seen)

    That is all sheker, SJS. Molesters, need I remind you of the well known MO molester who was allowed in his high position at a major MO org for decades? And then when they came forward, their internal beis din backed him up against the girls? Taxes? Need I list all the MO who were in the news for financial crimes? Loshan hora? Another aveira – like the others you brought up – that MO are much bigger on than non-MO frum.

    in reply to: The Girls Parents Supporting #697782
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    APY: Dowry.

    SJS: There is nothing wrong with government support that is legal and available. Yidden shouldn’t not accept what they qualify for, when other yidden pay tons of taxes and other goyim take advantage of the system to is maximum legal extent. A yeshivaleit is no less.

    in reply to: The Girls Parents Supporting #697763
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    tell me if being a true blue kollel couple is possible at all without support

    Yes, it is very possible.

    in reply to: The Girls Parents Supporting #697754
    Ben Torah
    Participant

    Like I said, not everyone takes this approach. Those who do, should be praised. As far as the girls parents supporting, I am pointing out that the girls parents making a large dowry is not a new phenominon. We always hear old stories of how tzadikim raided “Hachnoses Kallah” so the kallah can pay a dowry and get married.

Viewing 50 posts - 301 through 350 (of 416 total)