Forum Replies Created
As far as men’s clothing, the best value is bespoke, although it is the priciest. The reason it is of high vlue is that a well made custm measured suit will last far longer than anything off the rack. The issue is affording it, which I can’t.
A wig is holy? Why then did the Chatham Sofer, in his ethical will, prohibit his daughters from wearing one?
I haven’t seen this at all. Maybe I need new glasses.
“In Jewish law there is no concept of Bankruptcy or Statute of Limitations. “
What of “Lo tonu et reiecha?” What of shmitat ksafim? How about minhag hashuk? and as has been pointed out minhag hamedina?
Croup is far scarier than it is dangerous. But it does need to be addressed competently to avoid respiratory distress, which is VERY serious. Cold air or a steamy room can alleviate it. But if it is chronic, or related to asthma, more medical intervention might be needed. My son has asthma and would get croup with the change of the seasons, and also asthmatic at the same time. His doctor put him on twice daily Albuteral treatments along with steroids for a period of time and the croup disappeared. He still gets it maybe once a year though, and we deal with it. Croup is very manageable, good luck.
aaris, it’s not that simple. O that it were so.
For answers to some of your questions, read Allan Nadler’s The Faith of the Mithnagdim
Who says it is? And if it is a holy language, is Ladino as well?
Cedarhurst, you ask a good question. I don’t have a good reason why not, but I do have a bunch of typical shvach ones.
TMB, I don’t think it would be. Moreover, the inability to do everything, is not an excuse to do nothing.
Not only do I have yichus, I am yichus!!!
TMB I don’t have a precise answer.
If by sharks, you mean attorneys, in New York they generally bill anywhere from $200.00-$500.00 per hour int he family law world. Assuming the program is done correctly, I would envision anywhere from a 25%-50% discount on those rates plus reimbursement for expenses. Mind you, I do not envision a program to help every poor person going through a divorce. Rather it would be for people who fit certain criteria as their cases are of interest or importance to the Jewish community. At the top of the list for me would be those cases involving an erstwhile Orthodox parent, who has abandoned Orthodoxy and the issues concerning the children that result of that lifestyle choice. A second category would be cases involving a party who is a mesareiv l’din. Concievably other socially important issues could be included as well (i.e. drug abuse, domestic violence etc.). People who have such cases and fall within defined economic criteria would recieve assistance from the program. Depending on how the program is defined would determine the amount of money needed. Ideally, it would be funded out of private philanthropy as well as institutional philanthropy like Federation and/or be made a line item on organizational budgets.
APY, how about “Saving Neshomahs?”
TMB, I don’t read the Cyrilic alphabet. Moreover, when it comes to getting accurate information in the Orthodox world, it’s clear that one cannot depend on the Orthodox publications, but their very own admission. The recent ban of a frum news site was essentially based on the accuracy of their reporting.December 29, 2010 4:18 am at 4:18 am in reply to: Keeping in touch with old friends, who are Non Jewish #723346
The answer lies in the motivation for the question. With what is the OP uncomfortable? Only s/he can answer that.
I think I’ll stick with the Jewish Week.
Perhaps we can now return to the topic at hand?
Cedarhurst, the scenario you describe often happens. From a secular POV it’s fine so long as everyone concerned is on board. But if a Beth Din requires a party to sign the p’sak, rendering it an agreement, or face communal sanctions that raises the whole issue of duress etc. Another issue is how a Beth Din might go about making its determination. Do they use forensic psychologists in dtermining custody? Do they take necessary steps to determine income for support purposes. Do they provide for sufficient discovery in order to divide assets? The answer to those questions is a mixed bag. Various batei din do better jobs than others.
“I think the edited portion is where the main point was made. That portion was not edited in the original message from the now closed forum. Perhaps a general fund under the auspicies of whoever, is not such a bad idea.”
Indeed the main point was edited out. A general fund to defray some of the legal fees associated with end of marriage issues, is precisely what I refer to. I would take it further. Young lawyers in need of experience could be enlisted to do the work at a discounted rates, while more experienced practitioners would provide those younger colleagues with guidance and advice, gratis, and perhaps step in as needed; also at a reduced fee. It could turn into a tremendous service all round.
“I have a close family member who litigates divorces in the yeshivish/heimish community, and he says that 95% of divorces are the fault of the man. I also heard a big Rav saying the same thing. While yes both sides can be at faults, we have to be practical, and rescue women first, find out the facts later, or we risk losing and ruining many lives. “
I don’t know who your family member is, but I’ve been litigating such cases for quite a few years. That figure is completely wrong. Like the rest of the world, most frum divorces happen due to mundane things like loss of affection between the spouses, incessant arguing and disagreements, and are not generally the “fault” of anyone.
I won’t get into the clinical specifics of abusive marriages; it’s not my field. But as a matter of legal services, the community pays woefully inadequate attention to the matter. There are many good honest people caught up in horrific family situations. Those issues might include domestic violence, drug use, a spouse or fomer spouse who is no longer religious, dead beat parents who don’t pay child support and myriad combinations of those issues and others. One common denominator among all those people is that they desperately need legal representation, and unless they are very well heeled or have parents who are of significant means, it isn’t available. (Remember the old joke where a prominent attorney says he wouldn’t be able to afford his own services? That’s what I mean. The cost of the legal services to really help these people is that high.) People are suffering much more in these situations than they need to because they cannot avail themselves of the legal services that might alleviate some or most of the difficulty. Attorneys, who are willing to do their part, cannot however afford to represent too many people for free; as they are called upon to do. They have families as well as staffs who have families etc. But, as a matter of trying to do their part would be willing to discount their fees to help some of these people. We in the frum legal community, especially those of us who specialize in family law, have long noted this problem and are dumbfounded by the complete lack of community response to it.
When would one wear the monogram shirt, in yeshiva or at college?December 22, 2010 5:55 pm at 5:55 pm in reply to: If You Could Be ANYONE For One Day,Who Would It Be? #720734
Me at my absolute, self actualized best.
To prevent mixed dancing.
I don’t have “a t.v.” in my house.
Joseph RoseDecember 16, 2010 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm in reply to: Inappropriate Opposite Gender Interactions in the Workplace #1075584
Following the guidelines quoted spells a disaster for frum Jews in the workplace. The fact is that in the 21st century, co-workers, never refer to one another as “Mr” or “Mrs” or “Ms.” I can definitely say that if I were to insist that my secretary call me “Mr. Cantoresq” and I were to call her “Mrs. Secretary” she would, at best think me laughable, and at worst a standoffish, insufferable fop and snob. Such a relationship with someone I entirely depend on to do my job is simply untenable. Perhaps such standards can be implemented in offices were everyone is frum and subscribes to the same Halachik standards of modesty. But that is not the overwhelming majority of work places. Indeed workplace modesty is important. But of at least equal importance is the need to avoid giving the impression that Orthodox Jews look down upon and disdain other people, or that Orthodox Judaism is misogynistic. (Remember our non-Jewish colleagues have not learned all about the beauty and respect for women tzniut is supposed to represent. They don’t get see us show out wives the highest levels of respect and deference. All they will see is an aloof man in a yarmulke who refuses to show them the basic respect of referring to them by name) As a general matter though, I avoid closed door meetings alone with my secretary, even though her husband works in the office next to mine. I do that in order to avoid closed door meetings with other women in the office. I have explained that I don’t like those closed door meetings in light of the laws of Yichud, and people respect it. I’m generally no longer a gossip (I used to be, but I’ve simply lost interest) and thus aside from the occasional joke I might tell I don’t participate in the office banter.
Generally, all I really want from my family in terms of gifts are a card and a kiss. I’m pretty good at spoiling myself. Besides my wife is incapable of shopping for clothes for me, except for very casual wear. She and I have completely different opinions on what I [should] like in terms of suits and ties etc. She never learned enough about fountain pens or live bootleg chazzanut to make an aquisition there either (BTW conversely, I can’t buy her clothing or jewelry either without her being with me. Our tastes are that different). But there are two things I hope my family, specifically my wife, buys for me while I can still use them; a sterling silver menorah and a nice Megillah. I want her to buy them for me so when my children inherit them, the story will be “My mother bought this for my father . . .” She and I should be joined together in the tangential religious legacy we leave our children.December 8, 2010 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm in reply to: Shaitle Fraud Chillul Hashem Video: Sha'ar haTumah haChamishim #717916
I’ve just been told, on good word, that Georgie Wigs has commented on this incident as follows:
Where might one find this comment?December 8, 2010 2:49 pm at 2:49 pm in reply to: Shaitle Fraud Chillul Hashem Video: Sha'ar haTumah haChamishim #717899
I just want to clarify one thing regarding allegations that Judge Millian overstepped her authority in calling the wig manufacturer. While dressed as a courtroom with a “bailiff” etc, this is not a court of law. It’s an arbitration, to which all parties have consented. Judge Millian, although referred as a judge is actually an arbitrator. She is not bound by any rules or code of judicial conduct. As opposed to judges who are bound to consider a case solely on the evidence presented, arbitrators are at liberty to conduct their own investigations, and they frequently do. (Any one who has experience with Beth Din knows just how far arbitrators might go in this regard) As such Judge Millian was completely within her rights to call the wig manufacturer. Moreover, an arbitrator is not even bound by the law in making a decision. All an arbitrator need do is apply equity as s/he deems fit. absent any proof of collusion or corruption, rulings, if they contradict the law, are binding.December 7, 2010 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm in reply to: Shaitle Fraud Chillul Hashem Video: Sha'ar haTumah haChamishim #717840
I thought what happened was what poppa bar abba wrote…
C. An expensive shaitel was sent in and ruined. It was a few years old, and they don’t have the receipt. So they grab the Georgi receipt thinking it’s about the same anyway, or maybe thinking it is the only way to recover anything.- I think something along these lines is what happened.
In other words, commit fraud and falsify evidence with no regard to the chilul Hashem created in the wake of their dishonesty.December 7, 2010 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm in reply to: Shaitle Fraud Chillul Hashem Video: Sha'ar haTumah haChamishim #717807
Moderator-80, as I recall, there is no kaparah, in this life, for chillul Hashem.December 7, 2010 4:46 pm at 4:46 pm in reply to: Shaitle Fraud Chillul Hashem Video: Sha'ar haTumah haChamishim #717802
I once had a client who settled his child support case on this show. The cases are real.December 7, 2010 3:53 pm at 3:53 pm in reply to: Shaitle Fraud Chillul Hashem Video: Sha'ar haTumah haChamishim #717793
GAW, it was a clearly frum couple suing a non-Jewish laundry service for ruining a sheitel. The uncontroverted facts were that the sheitel got mixed up in the laundry. The laundry called the owners to insure they wanted it washed. There was a mix up, with the owners saying “don’t wash it,” and the laundry hearing “wash it.” The wig got ruined. The owners sued for $3,000.00 The judge did not ficus so much on whether the owners authorized the laundry to wash the sheitel, since once they undertook to do it, they had a duty to not ruin the item. Rather the judge focused on if the wig can be repaired or not. Ostensibly during a recess, the judge called the wig manufacturer, and learned that the wig in question was not the wig sold for $3,000.00 and that the frum couple were lying.December 7, 2010 2:40 pm at 2:40 pm in reply to: Kosher Activities For Teenage Girls On Motzei Shabbos #885552
In all fairness to kids, it’s unreasonable to expect them to entertain themselves in light of the ever evolving standards of what constitutes modest behavior. What was deemed appropriate for most girls twenty years ago (i.e. ice skating, going to certain movies, going to the theatre or certain concerts etc) is, for myriad reasons which are irrelevant to this conversation, no longer allowed. But children and teens remain children and teens with normal and healthy curiosities about the world in which they live. They should seek to broaden their horizons at this time in their lives when they learn to think critically about the world. But given the plethora of adult imposed rules, they cannot be left to their own devices. As such, I think parents and educators have the obligation and responsibility to provide appropriate entertainment. The frum world has gotten very good at enunciating what entertainments are forbidden. Perhaps it’s now time for it to state definitively what is allowed and encourage our young to partake of it.
I’d monitor form but not content.December 7, 2010 1:55 pm at 1:55 pm in reply to: Shaitle Fraud Chillul Hashem Video: Sha'ar haTumah haChamishim #717789
So right, that’s not exactly accurate. In truth theses are real cases and controversies between individual parties. They have agreed to adjudicate the claims in the televised forum, which is a technically a form of alternate dispute resolution. They agree to do that since the show’s producers agree to pay any award that is made. That way a defendant ordered to pay money winds up paying nothing, and a plaintiff is guaranteed payment. But this couple was real, they did lie and try to perpetrate a fraud, using Tzniut as the prop.
Maus hu alai is a basis for demanding a Get.
SJSinNYC I read Portnoy’s Complaint at 12. I’m not sure which would have been a better use of my time.
SJSinNYC even the trashiest Sidney Sheldon novel is more valuable than those video games.
2006 Mercury Montego. I have seven payments left and plan to drive it until the wheels fall off and the transmission hits the pavement.November 30, 2010 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm in reply to: #714167
Uh Charlie, Schoenberg’s music is not influenced by any musical style that preceded him.
I have something much better than a game system in my house. I have friends with game systems. In truth, I’m still fighting the fight against getting one for most of the reasons expressed here. Additionally, with the exception of Wii Fit and similar programs. these systems promote more of the sedentary lifestyle that is killing us all. There is no safe outdoor equipment I would ever refuse to buy my children. Anything that encourages them to play and run around more is absolutely welcome in my home. To that end, we have a big swing set and a trampoline. All of my kids have bikes and scooters. Every summer we buy some sort of outdoor water contraption like a slip and slide. Next summer I’ll probably buy a basketball hoop if my oldest doesn’t go to camp. I’ll buy my kids most any book that is age appropriate, and doesn’t contain anything too blatantly contradictory of Orthodox Judaism. Same thing for board games, barbie dolls (for my daughter),Lego, Thomas the Train, Krazy Bones, action figures and even toy guns and all kinds of other chazerai that may serve to stimulate their imaginations. But I draw the line at game systems that add nothing constructive to their lives or intellects. I did however compromise and get my older kids Nintendo DS’s. They are a godsend on long car trips.
I stand by my theory until someone provides a text proof that predates the Besht,
The mitzvah tantz as practiced by by some misguided Chassidim today does not stem from the Besht
CantorEsq: What type of Mitzvah tantz does then stem from the Best? What is the basis for the current practice? BTW, the style of dance I’m referring to is done my admorin. Youtube is rife with videos of such dances. What is the basis for it?
BTW In Skver no one neither her father nor the Choson holds the Kala’s hand
Having now checked the citation provided by Not as well informed as WIY, I am more convinced that I am correct. The Machzor Vitry clearly says that after benching, the bride would be brought to the men and seated opposite the groom. Then young men and boys would dance before the couple and sing their praises. That custom is better reflected in the practice in Modern Orthodox and some Yeshivish weddings where during the first dance the bride comes and sits next to the groom and men dance before them. The Machzor Vitry does not at all address the Chassidic practice of a man dancing with/before the bride while they both hold a gartel or sash. And BTW R. Gross does not use the reference to the Machzor vitry as a basis for the Mitzvah Tantz. Rather he uses the reference to strengthen his view that other women should not be present during the dance and that the mechitza should not be opened for the dance. What is the basis of the current chassidic practice? It most definitely is not the Machzor Vitry. I stand by my theory until someone provides a text proof that pre-dates the Besht, for the mitzvah tantz as practiced by Chassidim today.
As to the second part of tunabeigel’s question regarding the propriety of the Mitzvah Tantz, why not? It’s a nice quaint and even charming custom. It certainly is no worse than the Mezhinke Tantz.
We give cash gifts to the mailman and paper delivery man. We give a gift card to our babysitter. I buy my secretary (without whom I literally cannot work) a gift.
Does it not say in Tehilim “Hodu LaHashem ki tov, ki leolam chasdo?” A turkey unto G-d for he (the turkey, not G-d) is good, His (G-d’s not the turkey) kindness is everlasting. How much more proof do we need?
Myfriend, your reliance one but one responsum of R. Moshe Feinstein is flawed in light of R. Broydes analysis of the entire corpus of R. Moshe’s statements on the subject. Moreover, R. Yosef dov Soleveitchik, R. Ephraim Greenblatt and R. Eliezer Silver are all matir.