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Viewing 50 posts - 101 through 150 (of 180 total)
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  • in reply to: How To Take Control of Your Marriage #869533
    computer777
    Member

    Are you feeling okay, yichusdik? What did I say that offended you or prompted that outburst? And how is it related to anything I said?

    This is classic manipulation!

    in reply to: Why Computers? #869208
    computer777
    Member

    Computers have caused a lot of problems in the world. I don’t think this is one of them.

    Unless it’s a government office that needs to get rid of some excess $$$$

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932194
    computer777
    Member

    Csar: if a woman separates from her husband, she has walked away from her marriage. And even if he’s a great guy and a good marriage, chances are he will divorce her.

    in reply to: MARRIAGE IN CRISIS #885853
    computer777
    Member

    There exists a need not to get all that one desires!

    It’s interesting that you didn’t respond to the flip side of what I said.

    As for this, yup there indeed does exist a need not to get all one desires. But you said that if all one needs are met only then can they be givers. Are you saying that that becomes true only if ALL needs are met? And if in one area it’s not met, then it becomes not true. Sorry. I don’t think there is any truth in that. And I highly doubt you can find many people who have all their needs met, and certainly not by the givers of the world.

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932192
    computer777
    Member

    Many posters have written, eg. avhaben, that women are at fault. In other words, they might be initiating divorce because they think that they are being abused, but in Reality they are NOT!

    Did you see avhaben’s creditials that you can decide that he is an expert?

    avhaben thinks it’s perfectly fine for a husband to dominate his wife. In my view that is called abuse. You can agree with him and think it’s not, but doesn’t make either you or him correct.

    R’ Moshe Meir Weiss says a story that a couple came to him to resolve an issue. The wife said her husband told her she can’t visit her parents. The husband told R’ MM Weiss, to tell his wife that it’s within his right and she must obey. R’ MM Weiss answered him, you are correct, but if you want your wife to stick around…….

    Most women will not walk away from a good marriage. Those that do likely have big issues. Big deal! There are men with big issues and women with big issues. It’s not a womens’ thing to have big issues. It’s a human thing. There are a great many men who have big issues too.

    in reply to: How To Take Control of Your Marriage #869529
    computer777
    Member

    sushe: “The Torah is absolute. “

    What is your point? Who argued about what it says in the Torah?

    in reply to: How To Take Control of Your Marriage #869528
    computer777
    Member

    avhaben: I was simply stating my opinion. A home in which the husband controls his wife is not a home of mercy. Very far from it. It isn’t a home of right or wrong either. I have a right to that opinion.

    And if they get divorced, you and Patri will state, “well, it’s the woman’s fault. She couldn’t handle married life!” And you have a right to that opinion too. Though I don’t agree with it.

    in reply to: The Freedom To Be #868060
    computer777
    Member

    Thanks.

    in reply to: MARRIAGE IN CRISIS #885848
    computer777
    Member

    I disagree with the OP. In life, children who were always given whatever they wanted, expect to continue adult life with the same attitude and they are not givers at all, they are only aware of their own needs. OTOH, the flip side is of those children who’s needs were not taken care of as children very often become extreme givers in adulthood and they are not aware of their needs let alone try to take care of them.

    in reply to: How To Take Control of Your Marriage #869513
    computer777
    Member

    Patri: I reread what the post says. It says “the Shechina is manifest in a house which is conducted according to the attribute of mercy.”

    I had read it wrong and of course this is true, a home that is run with the attribute of mercy, the Shechnia will reside.

    On the other hand, when the members of a home are controlled by the man of the house, that home is usually NOT a home of mercy. I don’t care what proof you will bring to me that shows that it is.

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932176
    computer777
    Member

    yichusdik: I agree totally with what you said. And that goes for the “blameless” spouse. Anyone who initates divorce should evaluate why they married that person in the first place and if need be get professional help (or whatever help they can find) to insure it doesn’t happen again. If we don’t learn from our mistakes we are bound to repeat them. And that applies even if the person is completely blameless.

    in reply to: How To Take Control of Your Marriage #869510
    computer777
    Member

    yichusdik: forget about no bad happening in the house. Anyone who thinks the Shechina is found in such a home is a fool

    in reply to: How To Take Control of Your Marriage #869509
    computer777
    Member

    Patri: It works. (At least it did for me.)

    I highly doubt it. And it explains your other thread “Who is at fault for divorce?”

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932172
    computer777
    Member

    Oomis: 5-6 weeks is pretty long time to date. I highly doubt there are more divorces in that group than those who dated a year. A year is way too long and is ridiculous.

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932163
    computer777
    Member

    popa: since your posts are twisted and crazy (which reflects the kind person you are), does that mean all men are twisted and crazy? (dont answer that ur a woman since clearly u r not)

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932156
    computer777
    Member

    Patri: regardless of whether the statement is true or not, it is obvious Naysberg made it up in response to moiauss’s statement.

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932151
    computer777
    Member

    I think some of the time they are both at fault for this reason: One is to blame for the breakup of the actual marriage, and the other one is to blame because s/he married the spouse for wrong reasons and should never have agreed to the engagement in the first place.

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932150
    computer777
    Member

    Naysberg: You made that up. OTOH, what moi aussi said is likely true.

    in reply to: Divorce: Whose Fault Was It? #932144
    computer777
    Member

    PBA: “Women are twisted and crazy.”

    HEALTH: “So TRUE!”

    Health, with such an attitude, who will want to marry you?

    in reply to: OPEN SHABBOS – KOSHER PIZZA #873795
    computer777
    Member

    I don’t understand. Monsey Mom said Chag kosher v’sameach, implying it was post from shortly before Pesach. Post says it was posted 6 months ago, which wasn’t before Pesach. Can anyone explain?

    in reply to: Sad that Pesach is over #867781
    computer777
    Member

    I also love Pesach and am always sad when it’s over. However, I wouldn’t want it to be for a month, I think a week is perfect. Everything Hashem does is perfect, and no doubt that makes a week of Pesach perfect.

    computer777
    Member

    …. and while of course they never admit to anything, to others who read the exchange it becomes clear who proved what.

    Excellent!

    computer777
    Member

    popa_bar_abba: I agree. Which goes to show how idiotic the book is. And damaging to a good marriage rather than helpful

    in reply to: MO wanna-bes #861231
    computer777
    Member

    Middlepath:”computer777, actually, I think it DOES apply here. Obviously, we must do our best to try to have a positive influence on other religious Jews to make them want to stay religious, but if someone DOES become non-religious, we still should consider them Jews, and never treat them as second class. “

    I agree with what you said, but I fail to see how that has to do with the goyim considering them Jewish enough to hate and persecute them. They are Jews and we must treat them like Jews because they have a yiddish neshama which cannot be changed, not because the goyim consider them Jews.

    Oomis: what the world cares is not our concern. If the world would decide that being unobservant makes them not Jewish, would that give us license to treat them as not Jewish?

    in reply to: Strobin vs. Fidler #861287
    computer777
    Member

    The frum people wanted Ed Koch out of office because of his being pro toeiva. And look where that gots us!

    Vote for the canditate you feel will do the best job.

    in reply to: MO wanna-bes #861223
    computer777
    Member

    Oomis: I never understood that argument. We don’t determine a Jew according to what the goyim think.

    And in fact, goyim who had a Jewish father or other Jewish ancestor were also considered Jewish by the Nazis and persecuted and killed just like the Jews were.

    And it certainly doesn’t apply here. Is it ok for a ffb to want to be not religious and we say, oh, no problem, at least you remain a Jew since the goyim will still consider you a Jew.

    Now your message itself, that we shouldn’t look down at others who are (in our minds) “less observant” is well taken.

    in reply to: Another former Hasid on TV…AGAIN! #857467
    computer777
    Member

    Logician: When people get married they already know how to treat their spouse from their upbringing, whether in a good way or a bad way.

    Sure, chosson & kallah teachers can do more teaching in how to treat a spouse, but a few lessons is usually not going to do the trick for those with issues.

    These boys & girls who are going off the derech after they get married, are not ones that were emotionally healthy and erlich and after they got married all of the sudden they wanted out of yiddishkeit due to the hardships in their marriage.

    in reply to: How Can A Wife Be Yotzei Matanos Levyonim #856733
    computer777
    Member

    Sushe: I don’t know the % of wives who release their husbands from their obligation, but I’m sure it’s much less than 99%.

    Furthermore, for some strange reason, women are not told they have this option.

    in reply to: How Can A Wife Be Yotzei Matanos Levyonim #856732
    computer777
    Member
    in reply to: How Can A Wife Be Yotzei Matanos Levyonim #856730
    computer777
    Member

    A woman has a right to release her husand from his obligation to support her, and her earnings and possessions then remain her own.

    in reply to: murder mysteries #857687
    computer777
    Member

    mary higgins clark – excellent

    in reply to: saying tehillim at night. #854270
    computer777
    Member

    from revach.net

    The Arizal says that you should not read pasukim at night. Does this apply to saying Tehilim as well? The Btzel HaChochma (4:46) brings down a number of sources that say the Arizal never meant saying pasukim of Tehilim. He further says that it has become an accepted practice in Klal Yisroel to say Tehilim after Chatzos.

    He quotes the Yosef Ometz who says that in Chevron and Yerushalayim, where they followed the Minhag Ari, they would wake up at Chatzos to say Tehilim. The Medrash says that Yaakov Avinu said Tehilim at night. Dovid HaMelech said Tehilim at night and even composed most of Tehilim at night. However, adds the Yosef Ometz, that although when asked by someone about this practice he permits it because there are sources to rely on, nevertheless he himself is afraid and he refrains from doing so. The lone exception is Thursday night and Friday night since Rav Chaim Vital specifically says that the problems of saying pasukim at night are not applicable on these nights.

    Lastly he brings from the Aishel Avrohom that even before Chatzos it is permissible to say Tehilim since Chazal tell us that Hashem considers the Tehilim we say as if we are learning the difficult mishnayos of Nega’im and Ohalos whose time is the beginning of the night. The Btzel HaChochma therefore concludes that it is permissible to say Tehilim the entire night.

    in reply to: Chassidim shaving after wedding #854092
    computer777
    Member
    in reply to: Women's Suffrage: Right or Wrong? #852994
    computer777
    Member

    Doswin: It is enough that she doesn’t want to live anymore with her husband. The only thing that can happen if she doesn’t have good enough reason is she doesn’t get her kesubah.

    Women go out today whenever they need to. To the doctor, the grocery or anyplace they feel is necessary. If she is allowed to go out when necessary, then she can go to work even if it’s only because she wants to.

    Coffee Addict: you implied otherwise.

    in reply to: Women's Suffrage: Right or Wrong? #852990
    computer777
    Member

    Such nonsense posted here.

    According to halacha a woman is allowed to work. Has nothing to do with what kind of husband she has. Even if he is wonderful and she has not interest in leaving him, she is allowed to work outside the home.

    According to halacha a woman is allowed to leave her husband. This has nothing to do with women’s lib. She’s allowed to, period! Sure, she shouldn’t if it’s not a good idea, but that doesn’t take away her rights.

    And CA, a woman is a ezer kenegdo, but she has a right to be ezer to the husband she wants to be one to.

    in reply to: Giving A Year To R' Elyashiv #893006
    computer777
    Member

    The way I heard the story of the Chofetz Chaim was that he gave one (or five) minutes of learning (or tehillim).

    What is your source for him giving up 1 (or 5) minute(s) of his life?

    in reply to: MESSAGE FROM AYC #851652
    computer777
    Member

    In addition just because one forgives someone that does NOT necessarily mean that you pick up the relationship where you left off.

    What does it mean to forgive? If you don’t go back to the same relationship as before, how are you “forgiving”?

    Why is it important to forgive? Not forgiving keeps us chained to that person forever. It takes a lot of energy to hold that grudge and be angry at someone. Choosing never to forgive someone means that you are forcing yourself to remember that person and choosing to be angry at them consistently reminding yourself of what that person did to you. “I will never forgive “x” for ……. and so on. This is a daily process almost from waking to going to sleep.

    Says who? I can choose to ignore a person I feel did wrong to me. Doesn’t mean I think about the person at all. I don’t have to conciously forgive the person, I can just cut that person out of my life without ever having to give him/her another thought.

    in reply to: Holy Kotzker! #851743
    computer777
    Member

    “If I am I because I am I – and you are you because you are you, then I am I and you are you. But if I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you.”

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868622
    computer777
    Member

    A Woman outside bklyn: I don’t understand why your post went through. Isn’t that against the rules of this coffeeroom?

    in reply to: Self Esteem Books #851694
    computer777
    Member

    For anyone suffering from low esteem I recommend “Pulling Your Own Strings” by Wayne Dyer. It is an amazing book, and has the power to literally change a person’s life.

    in reply to: QUOTES #850339
    computer777
    Member
    in reply to: LYEING #850005
    computer777
    Member

    Truth always rests with the minority, and the minority is always stranger than the majority, because the minority is generally formed by those who really have an opinion, while the strength of a majority is illusory, formed by the gangs who have no opinion- and who, therefore, in the next instant (when it is evident that the minority is the stronger) assume its opinion… while Truth again reverts to a new minority.

    in reply to: Things that Cause one to Forget their Torah #1215778
    computer777
    Member

    Cell phones & internet make one forget Torah.

    in reply to: Who is your role model and why #847470
    computer777
    Member

    R’ Shalom Shwadron. I read the book: “Voice of Truth: The life and eloquence of Rabbi Sholom Schwadron, the unforgettable Maggid of Jerusalem”, a few times. An amazing inspiration.

    in reply to: Please daven for Chaya Esther Bas Faiga Yenta #848298
    computer777
    Member

    I will bln say today tehillim 1-15 inclusive. anyone else?

    in reply to: Facilitated Communication #847326
    computer777
    Member

    It is very interesting but every single case of what these kids say are basically the same (at least what I have read). My guess is the facilliator is the same person and everything is coming from her/him.

    The first time I read it around 20 years ago, I thought, you know maybe it’s real. The second time, I felt it was less real. The third time, no way. They can’t all be saying the same kind of talk. For example they all speak about the egel hazahov. Sorry, it’s impossible they all have the same manner of speaking.

    So I don’t believe in it.

    in reply to: Someone who 'doesn't want' to get married? #849859
    computer777
    Member

    A woman is not required to marry.

    in reply to: Stories-tribute to Habachur R' Dovid Robbins ZT'L #847306
    computer777
    Member

    Dovid clearly had a very special neshama. He was a real mentch, a ruchniusdiga person and had a good affect on everyone he met.

    in reply to: Liquid medicine #846381
    computer777
    Member

    Mod 72: there wasn’t much medical information posted in this thread. It was basically just opinion. (aside from Rabbaim that stated something I didn’t know about.) Health telling me to change doctors because he thinks she is incompetent is opinion, not medical information.

    in reply to: Lady Bus Drivers for Mesivta boys #846083
    computer777
    Member

    crazybrit: so men don’t cause motor vehicle accidents, only women, huh?

Viewing 50 posts - 101 through 150 (of 180 total)