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so is it better to get a boy from a open not so strict family or rather a boy from the same type of harsh strict up bringing
Any mother who purposely brought up her children in a strict environment would never ask this question. In her mind that is the proper upbringing and also, she wouldn’t consider it strict. She would think it’s normal.
And if you didn’t have a say in how your daughter was brought up, then why would you have a say in who she marries?
Was she brought up elsewhere, and now she lives with you? It is usually better to marry a likeminded person. If you have think that maybe it would indeed be better for her for marry someone who is not so strict, you should be discussing that with your daughter, not with strangers on an anonymous forum.
Maybe you did bring her up and had a say and now regret how strict you brought her up? If she’s ready for marriage, it’s probably too late to change that.
Do you put what you’re looking for on a resume? And what kind of person you are?
The title of this thread gives me the chills.
I have nothing against women learning gemarah, provided it is halachically permissible. But I highly doubt learning gemara will help you appreciate Yiddishkeit more. You thought you could have made up what you learned in Chumish and Navi? Why do you think learning gemara will change your thinking?
There are other seforim you can learn from to appreciate yiddishkeit. I’m sure some cr members can come up with a few.
You want to learn gemara for “intellectual stimulation”? I can understand that. But don’t confuse it with wanting to appreciate our rabbis and Torah more. I won’t work.
Perhaps the Waqf having control of har habayis is a blessing in disguise. If the Jews controlled it, then Jews might walk on areas that we are not allowed to.
Why should ishto kgufo apply by chanukah candles only? Where do we have that one person can do a mitzvah and that exempts his spouse?
GeshmakMan: I agree with you totally. People should ONLY deal with friends when listening to shidduchim.
btw, rav moshe paskened it is assur and against halacha for them to wear tefilin and even a talis.
Why did he say it is assur, and where is your source?
Who agrees with OnDayAtAtime that it is alcohol abuse to drink alcohol before something that may make someone nervous (like a social event) in order not to feel inhibited?
How often does one drink for it to be considered a problem?
Nobody answered my q above, so I will ask it again. If a person drinks before he does something that may make him nervous, would that be a sign of a potential alcohol abuser?
If a person uses drinks to relax before something that he believes will make him nervous, do you think that indicates a potential drinking problem?
Shraga18 – I’m not really convinced that smartphones can be equated to physical addictions like smoking and alcohol, there actual chemicals are physically rewriting the workings of the brain. Here you just don’t like smartphones.
Google “internet ruins”
Let me tell you what comes up :
internet ruins…. lives, relationships, everything, attention span, memory, kids, marriages ,creativity, social skills, life.
How about “internet ruined my life”?
“Internet ruining the world.”
“Internet ruining society.”
I think comparing it to drugs and alchohol is a good comparison. I think the internet is a whole lot worse than smoking.
Just my hapense: show me another thing that google will bring up as being as damaging as the internet (besides drugs and alchohol)
Shraga18: Kol hakovod!
Teimani customs are all beautiful and the closest to the original Mesorah from Har Sinai, Including their vocabulary.
How do you know?
Were you unhappy before you started reading the coffeeroom?
I googled “does internet usage cause depression?”. It seems that numerous studies show that it does.
newcommer: Try mindfulness exercises. When you do things, pay close attention to what you are doing (like doing dishes or folding laundry, or even when you are getting dressed.) When you do these things, don’t think about the past. Don’t think about the future. Just pay close attention to what is going on in the present moment. It may be difficult at first, but if you keep trying, it will do wonders.
And like others said, it’s important to figure out what it is that is disturbing you. Some things are obviously beyond our control. Some people live with others who cause them to be depressed. And one must learn how to live with that without it bringing them down. Sometimes a person’s own belief system causes them to bring depressed, when in reality they have a belief that is all wrong.
This girl wears tightish skirts which barely cover her knees
She should say that and let the person she’s speaking to decide if that is tznius enough or not.
I usually tell people that I don’t answer open-ended questions
Basically, you should just say you don’t give information at all. Because you’re really not giving any information. Like you said: everyone is somewhat tznius. Everyone is also somewhat smart. So really, the information you give is not worth anything.
I don’t believe in the story of the golem. I also don’t have an opinion on whether the Maharal was able to create one. Why must one believe that he was able to create one? It seems that everyone here believes that one must believe that.
If the mother also carries an x-linked genetic disorder, then there is 50% change for children (male or female) to actually have the disorder.
I meant if the mother has the same x-linked defective gene as the father, then there is 50% for either male or female to have the disorder.
If only the mother is a carrier, then 50% chance for the female child to be a carrier, and a 50% chance for a male child to actually have the disorder.
But there is no such thing as a male carrier of an X-linked genetic disorder. (I’m discussing Hemophilia B)
I don’t believe that is correct. A male who has an x-linked genetic disorder will #1 have the disorder (as opposed to just being a carrier) and #2 pass the gene on to ALL of his daughters (making them carriers) and none of his sons.
If the mother also carries an x-linked genetic disorder, then there is 50% change for children (male or female) to actually have the disorder.
If only the father has the disorder, all his daughters will be carriers of the disorder.
A job!
A Boyaner chosid once defined me the Neturei Karta as a bunch of attention seeking people,
that want to be known as rabonim, without being talmidei chachomim.
I don’t think that’s a very good definition. That applies to plenty of people that I know, and they are not Neturei Karta.
(I think it also applies to people who call themselves Rabbi without any qualitifications.)
Babies that age think that you going out of the room means you’re not coming back.
Though there are methods to deal with this i’m sure, I have never let my child CIO. Ever! I don’t believe it is the right thing to do.
I do not remember who this story applies to.
There was a rebbe who lost his son due to an illness.
Another rebbe went to be menachem avul and told him
“I am jealous of you.” Everyone’s ears picked up.
How can a person say such a thing to someone who just lost his child?
The rebbe went on to say “I once had a beautiful daughter, who had a daughter of her own.
They were both killed in the holocaust and I don’t know when their yartzeit is, nor do they
have a burial place for me to go visit”.
The other rebbe answered “You have comforted me.”
miritchka: I think you should be able to answer the question yourself. First friend made you feel better. Second friend made you feel worse. Trust your feelings. The one who made you feel better was correct. The one who made you feel worse was wrong.
People usually feel better when the speak to someone who went through the same thing they did (even if the other experienced worse). They feel validated and understood. Much more than speaking to someone who didn’t experience same.
yep123: You have to ask the YWN moderator to delete it, either on the thread you createad or perhaps throught “contact” http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/contact.php
Mod?
No, I believe a lot of things I hear. Some things I don’t believe. I didn’t say it’s not true. I said I don’t believe it. Just because people have decided that’s why he married her, doesn’t mean I have to believe that that’s indeed the reason.
Many times people try to figure out why something happens that doesn’t make sense to them, so they come up with a reason that could be plausable. Doesn’t make it fact.
Instead of saying with certainty that it’s true, you could rather say you believe it’s true.
How do you know it is true? Did you speak to him before he got married and he told you he knows she is a nervous person but he is marrying her anyway? Or you know someone who spoke to him before he got married and got that info?
Gematria ???? 95 same as Daniel
Together 95+30 is Kohanim (125)
I also heard another modern (post WWII) gadol (I heard the name but I forget which) married someone he knew was a very nervous woman.
I can easily find out the name of the person, but I won’t ask the person who told it to me, because when I heard it, I didn’t believe it for a second (that he married her as a cheseed because he knew she had mental issues and would have a hard time finding someone to marry her).
gematria from Yehuda is 30. Pidyon haben takes place the 30th day.
JustHavingFun: +1111111111111
The children of the non-Jewish second husband are Jewish but are also probably mamzerim.
That is incorrect. Doesn’t apply to children of a non-jewish father.
100% Jewish.
If you still doubt it, ask an authentic orthodox Rov.
The raffle isn’t for one million dollars. The winner gets 1,000 times their donation up to a million dollars. So if the winner conributed $100, their prize is $100,000. If the winner gave $5, the winner receives $5,000. A person who donated $1,000 will receive $1,000,000. Not so many people will be donating $1,000, hence chances are they won’t have to give the winner one million.
be pleasant, eventually the bully will have to change for the better. either he will reciprocate or he will stay away from you to avoid your friendliness
mewho: Normal people such as yourself don’t realize that that’s the worst advice to give someone who is dealing with a bully.
Be nice, and a bully will think you’re an easy target for bullying, intimidation and critism, and they will love the “power” they have over you. And they will hurt you over and over and over. They need this “supply”, otherwise how will they feel important if they have nobody to control? Bullies look for friendly nice people, who will be friendly and nice even when treated badly.
This applies mostly to adults. Children usually bully others because they have a hard life or going through a hardship in their life. It’s important to find out why and how to help such a child. Not so an adult. Adults who bully have usually had a hard childhood and they had to learn coping skills, hence the bullying. But by then it’s ingrained in them and usually too late to change them.
The way I deal with a co-worker who is a bully is: I keep away from him when I can. When I do need to speak to him, I speak to him with confidence and with authority and in a detached way. Detachment is always important when dealing with such people. This shows them they have no power of you.
apushatayid: My sentiments exactly. Excellent! +1
Matan1: You sound like a well adjusted and good hearted person.
WIY: You statements is not fair, nor is itcentirely correct.
I know some childen from divorced homes that are very well adjusted also.
Bustercrown, to answer your question. Yes, being miserable is a great reason to get divorced. The only question is if there is hope that things will get better. From what I get out of your post, you have tried and it didn’t help. Now what you have to consider is: are your children better off with your spouse, or without your spouse. Divorce greatly affects their present and their future, so that is something that is very important to take into consideration. If you and your children will be better off, then yes, divorce is the answer.
It is important to see what your spouse’s issues are, and according to that, see how likely it is that such a person will change with professional help. If it is unlikely (and there are a great many books that will help you determine that), then you have to decide for yourself if you want to take that road.
Uriso (after her husband’s name) is the proper Jewish way to refer to a wife.
What makes it proper? Can you bring a source?
Since this thread talks about therapists, I would like to mention that there are tons of self books out there that are excellent. Many are better than a real life therapist, and they are certainly cheaper.
(Sure there are those that need real live therapists for their issues, but there are a great many people who got the help they needed from a self help book.)
Rabbiofberline: One doesn’t wait for another tragety to strike. In this case, patience is not a virtue at all. Is Jewish blood cheap?
ZK: Your posts are almost always full of wisdom, chizuk or humour. I find this thread none of the above.
Thank Hashem you are able to work. People would love to but can’t due to health reasons or are out of a job or other issues.
I know you’e trying to be humourous. But people sometimes don’t realize how grateful they must be for being able to work.
I would suggest that a twice divorced woman may have the same status as a twice widowed woman.
No comparison.
While nursing is usually not done from an open would, it COULD be done from an open wound. Pretty painful, but does happen.