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The advantage of family burial plots is for the convenience of those who visit the graves.
We have a family cemetery in Queens for my Paternal mother’s line. When I go to visit, I can visit the graves of Parents, grandparents, great grand parents, aunts, uncles, great and great great aunts and uncles and assorted cousins.
We pay much less to have the entire section taken care of by a landscaper each growing season that the cemetery would charge on a per grave basis.
We were able to erect a massive family name headstone to which married last names are added, but all that is required for a new internment is a small footstone. This costs 1/4 of an upright stone per person.
My maternal line is in 5 different cemeteries in the greater NY area. It takes two Sundays in Late August to make the ore RH visits. The deceased appear lonely, just one or two familiar names in huge cemeteries.
I much prefer families to remain together.
It also makes genealogical research easier.I told my sons to always take the girl to a fine restaurant on a first date. If the girl turns out to be of little interest and potential, at least you had a great meal.
Proud to be Socially/Politically Liberal, Fiscally Conservative and religiously Torah true……………..
@Yehidayona……………………….
kohl may be cabbage to you, but Mrs. CTL and daughters have shown me over the years that ‘kohl’ is eye makeup. Mrs’ CTL uses a ‘kohl’ eye pencil.
I’ve never seen one at Kohl’s, but the better cosmetic counters at Macy’s (such as Chanel) do have it.
@joseph
The kinderlach were with us for this last daddy on the ship period. The in-laws are retired and move in at other times.
The whole family is based in France for the summer season and SIL flies back to the states if need be, working remotely via computer. The kids are on the ship often in the summer with both parents. All this ends next school year when her eldest starts full day first grade.I’m old fashioned, I still have a checkwriting machine on my desk at home and one one in the office. Every check is processed through the machine which embosses the amount by perforating the check and inking in red and blue. It can not be altered by hand.
My children used to love helping me pay bills when they were little. Inserting the check, pushing the buttons down in each column for the amount and pulling the handle down to cut the check.
@iacisrmma
I try to make an appearance at least one morning of Yuntif, especially to show off new grandchildren, sons in law, etc.
We had planned to attend First day RH but as MIL was niftiest the night before we cancelled and davened athome. We were there Shmimi Arzeres@Joseph
Husband was on board from Florida and through the Panama Canal then flew home. In s month he’ll fly to southern Argentina and the ship’s jet helicopter will bring him aboard for another ten days. After six more weeks he’ Fly out again for a week and both will fly Home.
Daughter is training a replacement for long voyages. From now on she’ll only do upto 10 days from Florida in the winter or her home in southern France in the summer.
Once the kids start all day school she will give up almost all travel except when entire family can be on the ship.@Iaciscsrmma
Shabbos is not a problem
Our shul’s main sanctuary has old fashioned theatre style seats that have a wire ring to hold a hat under the seat. One places the hat in the loop, lowers the seat and sits down.If there is a simcha or yubtif that requires adding additional seating there is sufficient room in the coat rooms for those hats
@Neville
@JosephThere are 8 countries who have designated their Missions to the United Nations in NYC to also serve as their Embassy to the USA.
This is not an unusual situation, as some countries will designate an Ambassador to serve as representative to more than one country. Israel, for example maintains only 69 embassies while having diplomatic recognition from more than 150 countries. In Latin America and the Caribbean the Israeli Ambassador may serve multiple countries from one embassy and have use of a consular or other office when visiting them
30 YO Ms. CTL is currently sailing down the coast of Chile en route to Antarctica. So many Caribbean ports were devastated this hurricane season that the owner of the ship on which she is an exec decided to sail all the way south this winter.
Joseph.
Yes I had pen-pals as a child. In third grade we were assigned pen-pals in Jewish communities around the world. Each year through 6th grade an additional pen-pal was added to our list. We were expected to write a monthly letter to each pen-pal, so by 6th grade that worked out to a letter per week. My mother would take me to the post office to purchase Aerogrammes on which to write.
I had pen-pals in Israel, South Africa, Canada(Montreal) and Uruguay. I continued correspondence on a regular basis through my Junior High years.
In the summer of 1962 I met my Israeli pen-pal during a family trip to EY. We have remained friends for 55 years and have shared family simchas. Our grandaughters went to summer camp together 2 years ago.
I met my pen-pal from Montreal in Miami Beach in the 1970s when we were both vacationing there. He left Montreal during the anti-English blitz of the early 80s and I lost track of him.
I was in South Africa for much of the late 1970s and met my former pen-pal and his extended family. My newest son-in-law is a cousin’s child.
The pen-pal in Uruguay was the shortest duration, ending in 7th grade. I never met him and have no idea where he ended up. While visiting Uruguay I was unable to trace the family.My eldest children had pen-pals, my youngest were of the email generation and not interested. My grandchildren seldom pick up a pen except for in school or obligatory handwritten thank you notes. They have no interest in pen-pals.
When we broke up my parents’ CT home we found shoe boxes full of aerogrammes saved from our assorted pen-pals. One long summer Shabbos afternoon I enjoyed reliving my letters.
What Antarctican Jews?
There are no permanent residents of Antarctica, only those posted for scientific research or governmental needsI leave it in the car and walk into shul wearing just my yarmulke
When I was growing up in New Haven there was a branch of the Levine family who accomplished just that.
They started capitalizing the V in the middle of the name and became LeVine. This was a ‘faux French’ affectation.
It worked, I now know 4 generations of the family whose name is commonly pronounced with the long I sound.@Lightbrite
Joseph and family were here for the big :Labor Day blowout and fireworks at the CTL compound. His daughter was having such a good time in the country she wanted to stay for a few extra days. Mrs. CTL is a sucker for little girls…are are all married by now and we have loads of empty bedrooms.Joseph said he’d get her after Sukkos, just not which year…………………
This little sweetheart is having a great time. She says she never had a room and bathroom of her own before. Mrs. CTL drives her to and from school, She enjoys our pets, loves the food and frankly is a great addition to the household. At some point I think Joseph’s wife might notice one of the many kinderlach is missingNOT dreams, NIGHTMARES
BTW, will you please come pick up your daughter, she’s been here since Labor Day and now she’s hinting she’d like a full new winter wardrobe…. she looks so beautiful in Lily Pulitzer. It is so much easier when she’s in school at home where they wear uniforms. Mrs. CTL had her ears pierced for her birthday and the 1 carat diamond studs were just the perfect size for the little angel.
Good luck unspoiling her ………………………………………Some shuls have ritual committees who set rules (in consultation or subject to review by the Rav). Our shul set rules that deal with this more than 20 years ago and when we interview new candidates for the position of Rav they are provided with them.
Membership (meaning PAID up to date) has its privilege. If there are 2 men wishing to daven for the amud in the same need to say kaddish standard, the fully paid up member gets the honor. He may choose to relinquish it to a guest, but is not required to do so.
It costs money to pay utilities, insurance, salaries, etc. That doesn’t come from the money a guest might stick in the pushke, it comes from dues and annual pledges.
I know when my father’s Yahrzeit is, when I show up and there is no one in shiva or shloshim, I expect that I or my brothers will daven for the amud. There is no other male member of our shul with the same yahrzeit. My father’s memorial placque will be lit and one of us will be at the amud. Generally, my eldest brother davens Maariv and I davem Shacharis. We provide a breakfast after minyan. We leave Mincha for any member who may be in the mourning year, or a guest if there is one in need. Otherwise, we let a remaining brother daven.
@Joseph
Why do you write words that were NEVER posted?Neither the OP or myself said the card came from a ‘Friend.’
Some businesses, professionals, neighbors and politicians send greeting cards this time of the secular year.
Those who do not live their entire life in a self imposed ghetto are likely to have some interaction with non-Jews in America and other places.
I don’t have a Jewish cleaning lady, I highly doubt one exists within 50 land miles of my home. Should I not open a card that comes from my cleaning person with her heartfelt wishes? No, I have good breeding, will open it, read it and when I see her I shall thank her for remembering me/us.
Not every business I can use for my personal and professional needs is or can be owned by a Jew. If my banker sends the CTL firm a holiday card wishing us a prosperous New Year and appreciating our business, should it just be tossed in the trash? NO
I know you work among Non-Jews as you have posted you teach in the NYC Public Schools, so you venture beyond the ghetto walls, learn to behave like a mentsch, you represent frum yidden to those who have little other interaction with us.
For the last XXXX years I rec’d a Happy Holidays card from the non-Jewish Chief Elected Official of our town. This was not sent from Town Hall or at Town expense, but from his home address, and he addressed the cards and paid the postage.
He did not run for re-election this year. Today I received a Merry Xmas card from him.
He no longer needs Jewish votes (not that he ever received mine) so he is no longer sensitive to our feelings. In the past we’d display these cards from local politicians (including US Senators, Congressman and Governor) and businesses in the office waiting room as a form of ‘free’ advertising. My Roman Catholic Italian-American receptionist opened the card, marked the envelope trash and put it in the junk mail pile. My younger daughter tends to look through that pile while having morning coffee then throws it all in the shredder.We do much of our business with Non-Jews, but do not send holiday cards. We also do not hold a holiday party for clients…..we publish a small advertisement in the local town paper saying that in lieu of holiday celebrations, our firm is donating to the local food and clothing bank to aid all area residents in need as cold weather sets in.
I’m 5th generation American and our family stretches to the 9th generation.
From births starting in the 1880s our family gave English and Hebrew names (NOT Yiddish). The English names were for everyday use and the Hebrew names were for shul, yeshiva, day school religious ceremonies. English names were used in the house.
When I started Day school more than 60 years ago the teacher looked at the enrollment card saw an English name that began with an ‘M’ (made up for this post) and started calling me Moyshe. I ignored the teacher. After 5 minutes I was asked if it was Mendel. I replied no. In our family our English names have no correlation to our Hebrew names…my Hebrew name is Ben Tziyon (all made up for this post). So in school I had one name and at home another.After 1948 some of the relatives looked for names that could be the same in Hebrew and English so we would not stand out in advanced education and the business world. An example is my sister Tamara
As a 5th generation OOT frum American Jew of Litvak and Yekke Misnagid descent I have observed that OOT we support all Jews and get along together.
We don’t have the luxury of dividing into small groups that is possible in Brooklyn, Lakewood, Yerishalayim, B’nei Brak, etc.
I daven Ashkenaz, but 30 years ago was President of a shul that davened Nusach HaAri with the Tehillas HaSem Siddur. My kids all went to Chabad day school, boys to Litvish high schools and Yeshiva before college/law school. My girls stayed home and went to a Chabad girls high school, then a year at Litvish seminary then college/law school.I write checks and support all shuls, day schools, mikvaos, yeshivos, burial societies, free loan associations, etc. in the area. It is important for me that they all survive.
I may not believe in Chassidus, but if I’m traveling it is a comfort to find a needed minyan organized by Chabad. I’ll even eat their food, the founder of OK Labs was from my home town of New Haven and from a fine family.
They may have different ways of constructing a mikva than others, but when our local mikva was undergoing renovation, Mrs. CTL was happy to use the Chabad mikva…our Rav had no issue with that.
Enough with the public name calling and shaming, there are more than enough Jew Hating Goyim out there, we should behave better.
@Wolf
I grew up in the retail business.
My father owned 15 clothing stores
His brother owned a furniture store
My mother’s sister and her husband owned a TV/Appliance storeThanksgiving was the last chance for a family gathering before January 1. Every possible working hour was spent in the stores after Thanksgiving.
We gave thanks for the shopping habits of the Goyim that would enrich us and allow us to pay for our schooling, shuls, homes, etc. that would be made in the coming 5-6 weeks.
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As for Turkey, I roast one every Sunday year round, so it’s no big deal. however, all the extras, stuffing, corn kugel, mashed potatoes, vegetables, pies are extra special and enjoyed by the family.
We are no longer in the retail business, but some of the nices/nephews and spouses are and this is the last free time we can get together.
In January, we all start taking breaks ion the sun and really only gather again as a whole family for Pesach at the CTL compound.@NevilleChaimBerlin
We also call Staten Island Richmond………..(or Manhattan..New York)
Two theories:
#1 There were a number of thriving Dutch settlements/communities in Brooklyn, then known as Brueckelen from the 1600s on. In fact, Gravesend rec’d it’s charter in 1645 before New Amsterdam on Manhattan Island,
The Dutch influence predominated over the English who won the area in a naval conflict and established Kings County of the Province of New York.#2 The Revolutionary was was fought against the English King George III, so no one wanted to honor him by referring to the county as Kings. A revolution was not fought against a queen.
@Joseph
I did NOT use the word reliable. I talked about outliving usefulness. Most articles in encyclopedias are years old. New research, discoveries and theories are brought out every day on the internet.@slominer
I don’t care who owns EB at this time. It is not the authority on most anything.
Encyclopedias have outlived their usefulness with the advent of the internetLots of Americans dispute the Encyclopaedia Brittanica when it comes to AMERICAN things. It is not the authority on the USA and our traditions.
It is just after 1 PM
I have returned from our town’s high school football game between the two high schools. It was one of my last public functions as a member of Town government. I did not seek reelection this year and my term ends next week.Our home smells from the aromas of cooking and baking, About 35 will be here at 2:30 to join in the Thanksgiving feast. In addition to some family it includes Jewish townspeople I don’t invite for Shabbos or Yuntif because I know they would drive.
We will wash, make motzi and offer Thanks (Benstchen), there will be nothing Christian about our celebration, just American celebrated by Jews thankful to live and enjoy life in the USA.
The ones who will be most thankful are guests who lived under the Communist regimes in Hungary and the USSR, glad to have been given political asylum here.
@RebbYidd23
If a person doesn’t have the funds available, any purchase besides requisite food, clothing, shelter is generally a bad financial decision.@RebYidd23
Buying a Diamond Ring may or may not be a bad financial decision. It depends on the individual, purchase, amount paid, whether bought for investment or jewelry purposes, etc.In general, the ring one buys for a spouse is not an investment. It is an adornment, not something one expects to sell later at a profit.
That said, my father and grandfather often bought jewelry at distressed prices from customers and clients because they were good investments. Sometimes the pieces went directly into the vault, sometimes spouses were allowed to wear them but with the understanding the pieces were investments and would be sold at a later date.
I can’t hazard a guess how many times over 40 years as a family law attorney a divorcing wife has offered her diamond ring as payment towards her legal fees. I don’t accept them, because a judge could later rule they were marital assets. However, I have been offered some lovely pieces at good prices from estates we have handled. Sometimes, an executor will shop a ring around to 4 or 5 local jewelers and tell me the best price he was offered was $XXXX. I have my estate jeweler look at the piece(s) and tell me if I can make a profit offering 10% more than the best offer. If so, I can have the executor submit the quotes from the jewelers and my 10% overbid to the Probate Judge for approval.
I currently have about 30 good sized stones in the law firm’s vault. With current interest rates so low, these have been good financial investments.
If food fell to the floor in the CTL household, one of our dogs would be eating it long before 5 seconds elapsed.
@Joseph
Camilla, the adulteress, married to Prince Charkles, the adulterer will NEVER be Queen of England. A condition of approval of their marriage was that IF Charles ever gains the throne Camilla will be Princess Consort. (Charles’ father is Prince Consort to Queen Elizabeth II).The announcement of their marriage by Clarence House :
“It is with great pleasure that the marriage of HRH The Prince of Wales and Mrs Camilla Parker Bowles is announced. … It is intended that Mrs Parker Bowles should use the title HRH The Princess Consort when The Prince of Wales accedes to The Throne. The wedding will be a largely private occasion for family and friends.Feb 10, 2005”Camilla currently uses the title Duchess of Cornwall, one of Charles’ lesser titles. If this homewrecker had dared to use the title of ‘Princess of Wales’ there would have been rioting in the streets and it would have been a slap in the face to Charles’ sons William and Harry, whose late mother Diana, was beloved as the Princess of Wales.
Charles is only in direct line for the throne because his Great Uncle Edward VIII abdicated because he was not permitted to marry an American Divorcee (Wallis Simpson) and be King of England, Defender of the Faith, Head of the Church of England. Now, only 80 years later, the church is willing to have a divorced and remarried man sit on the throne and head the church.
@Joseph
Many a car was purchased by a wife
Many a Bar Mitzvah was paid for by a wife
Many a Chasunah was paid for by a wifePaid for out of the knippel……………………
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Mrs. CTL and I own separate businesses. We each see our joint personal tax returns, neither sees the other’s business tax returns or bank statements.@Gavriel613
You are being farsighted
Too many Organizational professionals are short sighted, only interested in preserving their jobs for their work period@Huju
A briskette would be the unmarried daughter of a BriskerI may be one of the very few members of the CR who has actually been a President of a OU member synagogue.
The OU is very hesitant to eliminate member synagogues, particularly those who actually remit dues. A very high percentage of the synagogues shown as members do not remit the head tax to the organization,
The synagogue I was President of in New Haven approx 30 years ago had been a member congregation for many decades. From the early 1950s until the mid 1980s it had separate seating, but no mechitzah. The OU was happy to accept its annual dues payment and provide services, subscriptions, etc. In the mid 80-s the synagogue installed a mechitzah by request of some new congregants. As long as a synagogue professes to be orthodox, has a rabbi who was ordained at an orthodox institution, uses orthodox siddurim and machorzim, they will be accepted. No one checks to see whether there is a chain across the parking lot on Shabbos or Yuntif, or if the women cover their hair.
The OU’s strength is in the number of affiliated congregations and members they claim to represent. I know many synagogues that no longer function on a regular basis (some only exist in name and to run their cemeteries) that still appear on the OU memebrship rolls.
BTW>>>this also happens in the Cnservative and Reform movements,,,,nop one wants to admit falling numbers.@Joseph
No, he’s a Brisker
But academic circumstances (2 professorships) kept them there for a time@Joseph
Nice that you can decide I should offer triple…………………….
None of this is an issue in the CTL family, not only do the ladies dress in an appropriate manner, they don’t need to be asked to do so.I believe that this is an issue a couple should have discussed before marriage, just as sheitel, hat, snood, work, where to live.
There are Mod Ortho OU. Young Israel. Chabad, JCC, Federation, Home for the aged, Chabad Day School Pre-K-12.
My nephew and family lived in Worcester for 10 years until 3 years ago when she found the commute to Harvard a bit much and they moved to Newton.
Typical OOT non-yeshiva community, which means most Jews attending Orthodox and Day schools are NOT Yeshivish or frum.
Nice thought, but out of touch with reality.
Most women have more than one dress…………
Today’s women don’t do their own sewing and add cloth to lengthen dresses or raise necklines.I can’t imagine Mrs. CTL or our daughters trading their decision making power for a little diamond ($5,000 doesn’t buy much of a quality stone these days). This is not to say the CTL women wear short lengths or low necklines).
Better to say, ‘darling that dress doesn’t flatter y, why don’t I take you shopping and treat you to a new dress that makes you look spectactular.
A “salt” was a term used to refer to sailors who worked on ocean going ships….saltwater.
These were men with gruff manners and off-color language
Lightbrite……………………
Different professional recommend different thingsMy dentist insists adult patients use mouthwash with alcohol (except those with a drinking problem or diabetes).
You use a term ‘LA” which I did not and don’t use. Paralegals and Legal Secretaries are specific job titles. An ‘LA” which I assume you mean Legal Assistant, could be anyone who works in the office, makes copies, gets coffee, distributes mail.
As the principal of a law firm, I’ll not pay attorneys $200,000 per year(or more) to type contracts and do closing papers, and file motions that a Paralegal or legal secretary can do. We don’t have junior associates like the big firms, our full-time attorneys generally are family members or promoted from within the firm. In fact our non-Jewish senior attorneys started as paralegals and or investigators. Until I retire, there will be no partners in CTL firm, then the partners will be my children and in-laws. I am willing to hire non-family members, but they know from the interview that they will never be a partner. This is just not our model and I have no reason to change. I prefer to limit the size and scope of the firm…it’s my name and my reputation.
I also won’t bill clients the $300-750 per hour that our attorneys bill for work that should be done and be billed at paralegal or legal secretary rates. Firms that do so are taking advantage of their clients.,
Technology has changed many industries including the practice of law.
True, many younger attorneys do their own typing and legal research, but I find it unethical to bill clients attorney rates for work that should be done by a paralegal or legal secretary.
I and my eldest son are the only members of my firm that have private secretaries, and these do work related to non-law firm family business (our own charitable and family trusts and investments) as well as certain discreet work that is not to be seen on networked computers.
We have no pool secretaries. We do have a closing secretary for real estate and a custody/visitation secretary for family/probate court.
Paralegals may have specialties and work in our departments such as Trusts and Estates or Contracts.This is what works for us. It is far different from when I was starting out 40 years ago and Mrs. CTL and our mothers often took files home to type, trying to keep the carbon paper aligned,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
@Lightbrite
One warning if you intend to become a paralegal.
Lawyers want fresh graduates or someone with current experience. We have learned the hard way that a paralegal who takes 10 years off to have children and tries to return to the workplace is so far out of date in procedures, that the person might as well go take the course again.
Working part-time while raising children is fine for a paralegal, it keeps them up to date.@Lightbrite
Paralegal
In the CTL law office, it’s a fast paced, highly responsible job that involves, interviewing clients, doing assigned research, drafting motions for attorney approval. Electronic filing of motions and lawsuits. Acting as my assistant at trial, maintaining my case files for court.
It is a highly paid position (75K -165K), only the best satisfy my demands and expectations. It can lead to a firm paid law school education and a full time position as an attorney in the firm (currently 4 staff attorneys @CTL started as paralegals and I paid for their law school education).
Legal secretary……………..
In our firm these are highly competent secretaries that type reports, file forms, transcribe taped or recorded meetings. They generally do not do original research (as paralegals do), they do not interview clients , either. The legal secretaries may be generalists who do work assigned by the office manager, or specialists>…such as a closing secretary who organizes all documents needed for real estate closings, or a probate secretary who just handles estate paperwork and we have a custody secretary, who deals with child custody/visitation forms for divorce clients.
Our paralegals work in the office, some of our legal secretaries telecommute.
NONE are outside contractors, all are employees. As a small, closely held firm, we tend to keep employees for a long time. One current full time associate attorney (will never be a partner as they are family members only) is the daughter of a legal secretary who has worked for me 35 years. The young lady graduated college and started teaching English, but hated it. She worked for us as a secretary one summer covering vacations. I saw the quality of her writing and offered to pay for a paralegal course. She attended evenings during the school year and worked the following summer as a paralegal. She never went back to the classroom. I also paid for law school…the investment was well worth it. Unlike the big downtown firms our associates are not under pressure to bill thousands of hours and have no home life. She married two years ago and has a baby. She currently comes into the office only about 3 hours a day and does the rest of her work at home.@Gavriel
In developing nations, females do grow and sell hair for income.
Here in the USA, I know many young ladies, including my 3 youngest daughters (when single) who grew their hair long, so the minimum 8″ could be cut and donated to ‘Locks for love’…an organization that makes wigs for cancer patients who have lost their hair from chemotherapy treatments.
Youngest daughter, had extremely long, thick and fats growing hair. She did this about 6 times from the age of 12 on. When she had her hair cut before her wedding this summer, 26″ was cut into 3 hanks to donate.I must be a Barbarian
I gargle with alcoholic mouthwash several times each day.
My dentist recommends it strongly for adults.Today there are very limited choices on the market, Listerine is the prevalent brand, and Lavoris the Dentist favored brand of my childhood is still produced in Canada and available in Dollar Tree in the USA.
Most mouthwash sold in the US is alcohol free and useless for gargling…no alcohol, no killing germs.
@Yehudayona…………..
Milk .sold in NYC was traditionally done in quarts. Most people lived in apartment houses and the obligatory refrigerators supplied by landlords were quite small.
People shopped on foot and carried groceries home from the corner market,
In the 1950s and 60s I remember vending machines in the basement of my grandparents’ apartment buildings that sold quarts of milk and orange juice for 25 cents each.
It was only after the coop/condo conversion craze of the 1970s that people who now owned their apartments modernized their kitchens and put in larger appliances that half gallon milk sales skyrocketed. BUT, most NYC residents still shopped by foot and the gallon container was too heavy for shlepping home from the local store. This was also the time that milk started to be available in plastic bottles which were far lighter to carry than glass and did not have to be washed and returned.
I was born and raised in CT. When the NY relatives would visit the women would always marvel that the kitchen was so big and we had room for a 24 cu. ft fridge and a full size freezer. Our milk was delivered by a milk man and we didn’t have to be concerned about the size of the container.@lightbrite
The pumpkins won’t become a kugel, but will both make soup and pie.
The grandchildren will be munching on roasted pumpkin seeds for months to comeChief Republican Faker
Complete Russian Fool
Clueless, Ridiculous, FoolTake your choice they all mean Trump