Ex-CTLawyer

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    @Joseph
    Why do you write words that were NEVER posted?

    Neither the OP or myself said the card came from a ‘Friend.’

    Some businesses, professionals, neighbors and politicians send greeting cards this time of the secular year.

    Those who do not live their entire life in a self imposed ghetto are likely to have some interaction with non-Jews in America and other places.

    I don’t have a Jewish cleaning lady, I highly doubt one exists within 50 land miles of my home. Should I not open a card that comes from my cleaning person with her heartfelt wishes? No, I have good breeding, will open it, read it and when I see her I shall thank her for remembering me/us.

    Not every business I can use for my personal and professional needs is or can be owned by a Jew. If my banker sends the CTL firm a holiday card wishing us a prosperous New Year and appreciating our business, should it just be tossed in the trash? NO

    I know you work among Non-Jews as you have posted you teach in the NYC Public Schools, so you venture beyond the ghetto walls, learn to behave like a mentsch, you represent frum yidden to those who have little other interaction with us.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    For the last XXXX years I rec’d a Happy Holidays card from the non-Jewish Chief Elected Official of our town. This was not sent from Town Hall or at Town expense, but from his home address, and he addressed the cards and paid the postage.
    He did not run for re-election this year. Today I received a Merry Xmas card from him.
    He no longer needs Jewish votes (not that he ever received mine) so he is no longer sensitive to our feelings. In the past we’d display these cards from local politicians (including US Senators, Congressman and Governor) and businesses in the office waiting room as a form of ‘free’ advertising. My Roman Catholic Italian-American receptionist opened the card, marked the envelope trash and put it in the junk mail pile. My younger daughter tends to look through that pile while having morning coffee then throws it all in the shredder.

    We do much of our business with Non-Jews, but do not send holiday cards. We also do not hold a holiday party for clients…..we publish a small advertisement in the local town paper saying that in lieu of holiday celebrations, our firm is donating to the local food and clothing bank to aid all area residents in need as cold weather sets in.

    in reply to: Jews Who Are Known By Their Non-Jewish Name #1413146
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I’m 5th generation American and our family stretches to the 9th generation.
    From births starting in the 1880s our family gave English and Hebrew names (NOT Yiddish). The English names were for everyday use and the Hebrew names were for shul, yeshiva, day school religious ceremonies. English names were used in the house.
    When I started Day school more than 60 years ago the teacher looked at the enrollment card saw an English name that began with an ‘M’ (made up for this post) and started calling me Moyshe. I ignored the teacher. After 5 minutes I was asked if it was Mendel. I replied no. In our family our English names have no correlation to our Hebrew names…my Hebrew name is Ben Tziyon (all made up for this post). So in school I had one name and at home another.

    After 1948 some of the relatives looked for names that could be the same in Hebrew and English so we would not stand out in advanced education and the business world. An example is my sister Tamara

    in reply to: ACHDUS! Chabad And Judaism Are One! Let’s Bring Moshiach Together #1413137
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    As a 5th generation OOT frum American Jew of Litvak and Yekke Misnagid descent I have observed that OOT we support all Jews and get along together.
    We don’t have the luxury of dividing into small groups that is possible in Brooklyn, Lakewood, Yerishalayim, B’nei Brak, etc.
    I daven Ashkenaz, but 30 years ago was President of a shul that davened Nusach HaAri with the Tehillas HaSem Siddur. My kids all went to Chabad day school, boys to Litvish high schools and Yeshiva before college/law school. My girls stayed home and went to a Chabad girls high school, then a year at Litvish seminary then college/law school.

    I write checks and support all shuls, day schools, mikvaos, yeshivos, burial societies, free loan associations, etc. in the area. It is important for me that they all survive.

    I may not believe in Chassidus, but if I’m traveling it is a comfort to find a needed minyan organized by Chabad. I’ll even eat their food, the founder of OK Labs was from my home town of New Haven and from a fine family.

    They may have different ways of constructing a mikva than others, but when our local mikva was undergoing renovation, Mrs. CTL was happy to use the Chabad mikva…our Rav had no issue with that.

    Enough with the public name calling and shaming, there are more than enough Jew Hating Goyim out there, we should behave better.

    in reply to: Celebrate Thanksgiving? #1411766
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Wolf
    I grew up in the retail business.
    My father owned 15 clothing stores
    His brother owned a furniture store
    My mother’s sister and her husband owned a TV/Appliance store

    Thanksgiving was the last chance for a family gathering before January 1. Every possible working hour was spent in the stores after Thanksgiving.
    We gave thanks for the shopping habits of the Goyim that would enrich us and allow us to pay for our schooling, shuls, homes, etc. that would be made in the coming 5-6 weeks.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    As for Turkey, I roast one every Sunday year round, so it’s no big deal. however, all the extras, stuffing, corn kugel, mashed potatoes, vegetables, pies are extra special and enjoyed by the family.
    We are no longer in the retail business, but some of the nices/nephews and spouses are and this is the last free time we can get together.
    In January, we all start taking breaks ion the sun and really only gather again as a whole family for Pesach at the CTL compound.

    in reply to: Long Island is EVERYTHING! Almost. #1411026
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @NevilleChaimBerlin

    We also call Staten Island Richmond………..(or Manhattan..New York)

    Two theories:
    #1 There were a number of thriving Dutch settlements/communities in Brooklyn, then known as Brueckelen from the 1600s on. In fact, Gravesend rec’d it’s charter in 1645 before New Amsterdam on Manhattan Island,
    The Dutch influence predominated over the English who won the area in a naval conflict and established Kings County of the Province of New York.

    #2 The Revolutionary was was fought against the English King George III, so no one wanted to honor him by referring to the county as Kings. A revolution was not fought against a queen.

    in reply to: Celebrate Thanksgiving? #1410881
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    I did NOT use the word reliable. I talked about outliving usefulness. Most articles in encyclopedias are years old. New research, discoveries and theories are brought out every day on the internet.

    in reply to: Celebrate Thanksgiving? #1410711
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @slominer
    I don’t care who owns EB at this time. It is not the authority on most anything.
    Encyclopedias have outlived their usefulness with the advent of the internet

    in reply to: Celebrate Thanksgiving? #1410095
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Lots of Americans dispute the Encyclopaedia Brittanica when it comes to AMERICAN things. It is not the authority on the USA and our traditions.

    It is just after 1 PM
    I have returned from our town’s high school football game between the two high schools. It was one of my last public functions as a member of Town government. I did not seek reelection this year and my term ends next week.

    Our home smells from the aromas of cooking and baking, About 35 will be here at 2:30 to join in the Thanksgiving feast. In addition to some family it includes Jewish townspeople I don’t invite for Shabbos or Yuntif because I know they would drive.

    We will wash, make motzi and offer Thanks (Benstchen), there will be nothing Christian about our celebration, just American celebrated by Jews thankful to live and enjoy life in the USA.

    The ones who will be most thankful are guests who lived under the Communist regimes in Hungary and the USSR, glad to have been given political asylum here.

    in reply to: The Five Thousand Dollar Dress #1408870
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @RebbYidd23
    If a person doesn’t have the funds available, any purchase besides requisite food, clothing, shelter is generally a bad financial decision.

    in reply to: The Five Thousand Dollar Dress #1408696
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @RebYidd23
    Buying a Diamond Ring may or may not be a bad financial decision. It depends on the individual, purchase, amount paid, whether bought for investment or jewelry purposes, etc.

    In general, the ring one buys for a spouse is not an investment. It is an adornment, not something one expects to sell later at a profit.

    That said, my father and grandfather often bought jewelry at distressed prices from customers and clients because they were good investments. Sometimes the pieces went directly into the vault, sometimes spouses were allowed to wear them but with the understanding the pieces were investments and would be sold at a later date.

    I can’t hazard a guess how many times over 40 years as a family law attorney a divorcing wife has offered her diamond ring as payment towards her legal fees. I don’t accept them, because a judge could later rule they were marital assets. However, I have been offered some lovely pieces at good prices from estates we have handled. Sometimes, an executor will shop a ring around to 4 or 5 local jewelers and tell me the best price he was offered was $XXXX. I have my estate jeweler look at the piece(s) and tell me if I can make a profit offering 10% more than the best offer. If so, I can have the executor submit the quotes from the jewelers and my 10% overbid to the Probate Judge for approval.

    I currently have about 30 good sized stones in the law firm’s vault. With current interest rates so low, these have been good financial investments.

    in reply to: 5 Second Rule #1407262
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    If food fell to the floor in the CTL household, one of our dogs would be eating it long before 5 seconds elapsed.

    in reply to: The Queen of England is Married? #1405544
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    Camilla, the adulteress, married to Prince Charkles, the adulterer will NEVER be Queen of England. A condition of approval of their marriage was that IF Charles ever gains the throne Camilla will be Princess Consort. (Charles’ father is Prince Consort to Queen Elizabeth II).

    The announcement of their marriage by Clarence House :
    “It is with great pleasure that the marriage of HRH The Prince of Wales and Mrs Camilla Parker Bowles is announced. … It is intended that Mrs Parker Bowles should use the title HRH The Princess Consort when The Prince of Wales accedes to The Throne. The wedding will be a largely private occasion for family and friends.Feb 10, 2005”

    Camilla currently uses the title Duchess of Cornwall, one of Charles’ lesser titles. If this homewrecker had dared to use the title of ‘Princess of Wales’ there would have been rioting in the streets and it would have been a slap in the face to Charles’ sons William and Harry, whose late mother Diana, was beloved as the Princess of Wales.

    Charles is only in direct line for the throne because his Great Uncle Edward VIII abdicated because he was not permitted to marry an American Divorcee (Wallis Simpson) and be King of England, Defender of the Faith, Head of the Church of England. Now, only 80 years later, the church is willing to have a divorced and remarried man sit on the throne and head the church.

    in reply to: The Five Thousand Dollar Dress #1405087
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    Many a car was purchased by a wife
    Many a Bar Mitzvah was paid for by a wife
    Many a Chasunah was paid for by a wife

    Paid for out of the knippel……………………

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Mrs. CTL and I own separate businesses. We each see our joint personal tax returns, neither sees the other’s business tax returns or bank statements.

    in reply to: A letter to the OU #1402551
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Gavriel613
    You are being farsighted
    Too many Organizational professionals are short sighted, only interested in preserving their jobs for their work period

    in reply to: jewish community #1402541
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Huju
    A briskette would be the unmarried daughter of a Brisker

    in reply to: A letter to the OU #1402450
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I may be one of the very few members of the CR who has actually been a President of a OU member synagogue.

    The OU is very hesitant to eliminate member synagogues, particularly those who actually remit dues. A very high percentage of the synagogues shown as members do not remit the head tax to the organization,

    The synagogue I was President of in New Haven approx 30 years ago had been a member congregation for many decades. From the early 1950s until the mid 1980s it had separate seating, but no mechitzah. The OU was happy to accept its annual dues payment and provide services, subscriptions, etc. In the mid 80-s the synagogue installed a mechitzah by request of some new congregants. As long as a synagogue professes to be orthodox, has a rabbi who was ordained at an orthodox institution, uses orthodox siddurim and machorzim, they will be accepted. No one checks to see whether there is a chain across the parking lot on Shabbos or Yuntif, or if the women cover their hair.
    The OU’s strength is in the number of affiliated congregations and members they claim to represent. I know many synagogues that no longer function on a regular basis (some only exist in name and to run their cemeteries) that still appear on the OU memebrship rolls.
    BTW>>>this also happens in the Cnservative and Reform movements,,,,nop one wants to admit falling numbers.

    in reply to: jewish community #1401961
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    No, he’s a Brisker
    But academic circumstances (2 professorships) kept them there for a time

    in reply to: The Five Thousand Dollar Dress #1401946
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    Nice that you can decide I should offer triple…………………….
    None of this is an issue in the CTL family, not only do the ladies dress in an appropriate manner, they don’t need to be asked to do so.

    I believe that this is an issue a couple should have discussed before marriage, just as sheitel, hat, snood, work, where to live.

    in reply to: jewish community #1401813
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    There are Mod Ortho OU. Young Israel. Chabad, JCC, Federation, Home for the aged, Chabad Day School Pre-K-12.

    My nephew and family lived in Worcester for 10 years until 3 years ago when she found the commute to Harvard a bit much and they moved to Newton.

    Typical OOT non-yeshiva community, which means most Jews attending Orthodox and Day schools are NOT Yeshivish or frum.

    in reply to: The Five Thousand Dollar Dress #1401755
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Nice thought, but out of touch with reality.
    Most women have more than one dress…………
    Today’s women don’t do their own sewing and add cloth to lengthen dresses or raise necklines.

    I can’t imagine Mrs. CTL or our daughters trading their decision making power for a little diamond ($5,000 doesn’t buy much of a quality stone these days). This is not to say the CTL women wear short lengths or low necklines).

    Better to say, ‘darling that dress doesn’t flatter y, why don’t I take you shopping and treat you to a new dress that makes you look spectactular.

    in reply to: Salty Personality #1399496
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    A “salt” was a term used to refer to sailors who worked on ocean going ships….saltwater.

    These were men with gruff manners and off-color language

    in reply to: Gargling #1399486
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Lightbrite……………………
    Different professional recommend different things

    My dentist insists adult patients use mouthwash with alcohol (except those with a drinking problem or diabetes).

    in reply to: Being a Paralegal – Legal Secretary #1396458
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Gadolhadorah

    You use a term ‘LA” which I did not and don’t use. Paralegals and Legal Secretaries are specific job titles. An ‘LA” which I assume you mean Legal Assistant, could be anyone who works in the office, makes copies, gets coffee, distributes mail.

    As the principal of a law firm, I’ll not pay attorneys $200,000 per year(or more) to type contracts and do closing papers, and file motions that a Paralegal or legal secretary can do. We don’t have junior associates like the big firms, our full-time attorneys generally are family members or promoted from within the firm. In fact our non-Jewish senior attorneys started as paralegals and or investigators. Until I retire, there will be no partners in CTL firm, then the partners will be my children and in-laws. I am willing to hire non-family members, but they know from the interview that they will never be a partner. This is just not our model and I have no reason to change. I prefer to limit the size and scope of the firm…it’s my name and my reputation.

    I also won’t bill clients the $300-750 per hour that our attorneys bill for work that should be done and be billed at paralegal or legal secretary rates. Firms that do so are taking advantage of their clients.,

    in reply to: Being a Paralegal – Legal Secretary #1396462
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Akuperma

    Technology has changed many industries including the practice of law.
    True, many younger attorneys do their own typing and legal research, but I find it unethical to bill clients attorney rates for work that should be done by a paralegal or legal secretary.
    I and my eldest son are the only members of my firm that have private secretaries, and these do work related to non-law firm family business (our own charitable and family trusts and investments) as well as certain discreet work that is not to be seen on networked computers.
    We have no pool secretaries. We do have a closing secretary for real estate and a custody/visitation secretary for family/probate court.
    Paralegals may have specialties and work in our departments such as Trusts and Estates or Contracts.

    This is what works for us. It is far different from when I was starting out 40 years ago and Mrs. CTL and our mothers often took files home to type, trying to keep the carbon paper aligned,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    in reply to: Being a Paralegal – Legal Secretary #1396151
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Lightbrite
    One warning if you intend to become a paralegal.
    Lawyers want fresh graduates or someone with current experience. We have learned the hard way that a paralegal who takes 10 years off to have children and tries to return to the workplace is so far out of date in procedures, that the person might as well go take the course again.
    Working part-time while raising children is fine for a paralegal, it keeps them up to date.

    in reply to: Being a Paralegal – Legal Secretary #1395705
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Lightbrite
    Paralegal
    In the CTL law office, it’s a fast paced, highly responsible job that involves, interviewing clients, doing assigned research, drafting motions for attorney approval. Electronic filing of motions and lawsuits. Acting as my assistant at trial, maintaining my case files for court.
    It is a highly paid position (75K -165K), only the best satisfy my demands and expectations. It can lead to a firm paid law school education and a full time position as an attorney in the firm (currently 4 staff attorneys @CTL started as paralegals and I paid for their law school education).
    Legal secretary……………..
    In our firm these are highly competent secretaries that type reports, file forms, transcribe taped or recorded meetings. They generally do not do original research (as paralegals do), they do not interview clients , either. The legal secretaries may be generalists who do work assigned by the office manager, or specialists>…such as a closing secretary who organizes all documents needed for real estate closings, or a probate secretary who just handles estate paperwork and we have a custody secretary, who deals with child custody/visitation forms for divorce clients.
    Our paralegals work in the office, some of our legal secretaries telecommute.
    NONE are outside contractors, all are employees. As a small, closely held firm, we tend to keep employees for a long time. One current full time associate attorney (will never be a partner as they are family members only) is the daughter of a legal secretary who has worked for me 35 years. The young lady graduated college and started teaching English, but hated it. She worked for us as a secretary one summer covering vacations. I saw the quality of her writing and offered to pay for a paralegal course. She attended evenings during the school year and worked the following summer as a paralegal. She never went back to the classroom. I also paid for law school…the investment was well worth it. Unlike the big downtown firms our associates are not under pressure to bill thousands of hours and have no home life. She married two years ago and has a baby. She currently comes into the office only about 3 hours a day and does the rest of her work at home.

    in reply to: Why are sheitels so expensive #1395685
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Gavriel
    In developing nations, females do grow and sell hair for income.
    Here in the USA, I know many young ladies, including my 3 youngest daughters (when single) who grew their hair long, so the minimum 8″ could be cut and donated to ‘Locks for love’…an organization that makes wigs for cancer patients who have lost their hair from chemotherapy treatments.
    Youngest daughter, had extremely long, thick and fats growing hair. She did this about 6 times from the age of 12 on. When she had her hair cut before her wedding this summer, 26″ was cut into 3 hanks to donate.

    in reply to: Gargling #1395666
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I must be a Barbarian
    I gargle with alcoholic mouthwash several times each day.
    My dentist recommends it strongly for adults.

    Today there are very limited choices on the market, Listerine is the prevalent brand, and Lavoris the Dentist favored brand of my childhood is still produced in Canada and available in Dollar Tree in the USA.

    Most mouthwash sold in the US is alcohol free and useless for gargling…no alcohol, no killing germs.

    in reply to: Why does Cholov Yisroel milk cost so much? #1395584
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Yehudayona…………..
    Milk .sold in NYC was traditionally done in quarts. Most people lived in apartment houses and the obligatory refrigerators supplied by landlords were quite small.
    People shopped on foot and carried groceries home from the corner market,
    In the 1950s and 60s I remember vending machines in the basement of my grandparents’ apartment buildings that sold quarts of milk and orange juice for 25 cents each.
    It was only after the coop/condo conversion craze of the 1970s that people who now owned their apartments modernized their kitchens and put in larger appliances that half gallon milk sales skyrocketed. BUT, most NYC residents still shopped by foot and the gallon container was too heavy for shlepping home from the local store. This was also the time that milk started to be available in plastic bottles which were far lighter to carry than glass and did not have to be washed and returned.
    I was born and raised in CT. When the NY relatives would visit the women would always marvel that the kitchen was so big and we had room for a 24 cu. ft fridge and a full size freezer. Our milk was delivered by a milk man and we didn’t have to be concerned about the size of the container.

    in reply to: Is A Jew Permitted To Celebrate Halloween? #1392865
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @lightbrite
    The pumpkins won’t become a kugel, but will both make soup and pie.
    The grandchildren will be munching on roasted pumpkin seeds for months to come

    in reply to: What does CRF stand for? #1392652
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Chief Republican Faker
    Complete Russian Fool
    Clueless, Ridiculous, Fool

    Take your choice they all mean Trump

    in reply to: Is A Jew Permitted To Celebrate Halloween? #1392648
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @nisht……….
    Pumpkins do not equal Halloween
    They are a fall gourd.
    We use them to decorate the Sukkah, as well as the front of our home
    We have a historic 200+ year old home in a small Connecticut town, There is a horse drawn carriage (no horse) on our front lawn. It is decorated with seasonal growth. This time of year there is dried Indian Corn and pumpkins………
    It will stay that way until after American Thanksgiving. Then we put the carriage in storage until the spring. It will be decorated with fresh flowers that vary by the season until the fall harvest from our veg patches

    in reply to: What does CRF stand for? #1392649
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Convict Republicans Fast

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    @DaasYochid
    When Mrs. CTL was so ill last year and Tehillim were being said I posted and used the Hebrew name.
    WHY? Because I read it on the framed Ketubah that was hanging on the wall in my MIL’s den. That was from the second marriage.
    This morning, I had a late appointment in New Haven, where MIl was from and I went to her parents’ and brother’s graves. All three had Yiddish names inscribed, not Hebrew.

    So, Mrs. CTL and I discussed this at supper tonight and we’ll continue her family tradition and use the Yiddish name on the stone.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    That still leaves the unanswered question of inscribing the stone where the first husband (Mrs. CTL’s father) is buried.

    I had a long talk with my BIL, who retired as a shul Rav after 40 years,
    He had an interesting take on the situation.
    He explained to me a similar occurrence in his shul that took place about 25 years ago. The female was buried with the second husband and the children also inscribed the firs husband’s stone, There were nieces and nephews on the first husband’s side who would come to pay respects to deceased husband #1 when visiting their parents and grandparents in the family plot. They would have no reason to travel to another cemetery to pay respects to their late uncle’s now deceased wife buried with husband #2. They would however make a Molei for her when reading the inscription on their uncle’s double stone.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Golfer………..
    Therein lies the rub

    The first Ketubah was written while MIL’s parents were alive and has her Yiddish name. I assume her father told the Rabbi what to write. The second Ketubah (written after her parents were no longer alive) has the Hebrew name.

    As this is a no win situation, I’ll let Mrs. CTL decide, but she asked that I get some opinions

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    Approximately 100 years ago a family foundation was incorporated in the State of NY for the purpose of buying a cemetery. It was named for my great-great grandfather on my father’s mother side.
    My Great Grandfather bought a large family plot in the cemetery (approx 400 graves) for his descendants. He had 4 daughters and no sons. When his wife died he erected the large Family Plot Stone with his last name inscribed in the center near the top.
    When each daughter married, her husband’s last name was inscribed on the next horizontal row.
    The same system occurred in my parents’ and my generation. Most men who married into the family know that their wives wanted to be buried in the family cemetery and they are also buried there. My parents made a decision when they moved to CT that they would be buried here, not back in NY. Half my siblings have decided we want to be buried in the family plot in NY, half elsewhere. The idea of being buried with the husband’s family did not come into play.

    Example of Family Plot Stone (made up names)

    WEISSMAN
    SCHWARTZMAN———GOLDMAN——————————BROWN—————–SILVERMAN
    COHEN——LEVY———–ISRAEL—————-GOLD———–BLACK—————WHITE———————-GRAY

    Here in CT, Jews are generally buried in cemeteries that belong to a synagogue, not association plots in supersized Jewish cemeteries as in NY or NJ and not in any for profit, privately owned cemeteries

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Nishtdayn………

    I tend to agree about double headstones erected while one spouse is still living.
    I asked my MIL about this and she told me that when she erected the stone for Husband #1 the cost was $2500 for a single headstone and $2700 for a double, so it made sense to buy the double.

    My paternal family has 2 family association cemeteries. We don’t erect headstones for individuals, instead there is a large stone for the family plot with the family name at top, and married last names below. Each individual has a foot-stone with their individual information.

    My parents are buried in a family cemetery on my mother’s side. They only have flat in ground individual bronze foot markers. This eliminates the vandalism of overturned stones and makes mowing the grass easier.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    “I think it would be unusual and confusing to put her name on husband #1’s matzeiva if she isn’t buried there.”
    I pondered this and discussed this with the shul Rav
    His take was that because she was the widow of Husband #1 (Mrs. CTL and her siblings father) it would honor their marriage. If she had been divorced from Husband #1, Rav for forbid it.

    There are 3 other stones in the shul cemetery (that I know of) where there is no one buried adjacent to match the description. The stone is a memorial marker in that case.

    in reply to: Jew becoming a lawyer or judge -halachic problems ✡️⚖️ #1391419
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AviK
    Goodman is not the be all to end all in legal decisions. His explanations are nice for the layman, but not the rule of law/bar standards, etc. that vary by jurisdiction.

    Your constant pursuit of this topic may be entertaining to you and a teaching opportunity for me, but are probably boring and off topic for most CR readers,

    Please note: Mentally Defective does not equal criminally insane, and not everyone with a mental defect pleads an insanity defense. A potential 2-5 year sentence in prison, may be far more appealing than a possible lifetime in a mental institution.

    Lawyers don’t have to believe in the case they are presenting, they are not paid to do so. It helps, but is not a requirement of doing one’s job.

    in reply to: Jew becoming a lawyer or judge -halachic problems ✡️⚖️ #1391204
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AviK
    #1 It is not the lawyer’s place to determine the client’s best chance and force the client to accept a plea deal. The lawyer MUST represent the client’s wishes to the best of his ability.
    Usually a lawyer with a client who will not speak to the lawyer or aid in the defense, has been assigned the client by the court, not taken the client with a big fat retainer check. The client may be indigent or mentally defective (not politically correct but chosen to make a point). The judge will not let you off a case like that.

    #2 There is a big difference from erasing something from your memory and not taking it into consideration when deliberating a verdict. It can be accomplished. Most people want to be fair.

    The CT Supreme Court (our highest appeals court…unlike NY where it is a trial court) set down rules decades ago about these volunteer juror panels that generally restricts them to civil trials to assure criminal defendants get a true ‘Jury of their peers’ drawn from a cross section of society. That’s why CT does not only call registered voters, but also uses drivers license and registration lists to call potential jurors.

    in reply to: Jew becoming a lawyer or judge -halachic problems ✡️⚖️ #1391053
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AviK

    #1 Permission to withdraw is usually granted if the attorney is severely ill, becomes aware of a conflict of interest after taking the case (e.g. a late witness is added to the other side’s list and the attorney has represented this witness, or the witness is a current client, friend or relative), the client refuses to speak with or aid the attorney in the client’s defense. When my mother died the judge would not let me withdraw from a civil case under trial (there was no jury) he adjourned for 2 weeks.

    #2 Do I believe juries ignore everything they are told to ignore? NO, but small town educated juries are more apt to follow the judge’s instructions than large city, lower income, less educated juries.
    We have a pool of middle aged and senior citizen volunteer jurors in our district who actually enjoy serving on civil trials. They are on a volunteer list. Many are retired educators who take civic responsibility to heart. They tend to both understand boring expert testimony and to follow the judge’s instruction to a T

    #3 Jury nullification is a TV and high profile criminal case thing. Most of us practicing attorneys have never run into it.

    in reply to: Jew becoming a lawyer or judge -halachic problems ✡️⚖️ #1390775
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @jj2020
    Witnesses give sworn testimony. They swear or affirm that they will tell the truth and are subject to criminal prosecution for perjury if they are found to lie under oath.
    Nothing the attorneys, bailiff, judge say is sworn testimony. it is peripheral and not to be considered by the jury when considering guilt.
    Please don’t confuse moral with legal or actual. They are different things.

    in reply to: Coin Collecting – Numismatics #1390776
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @Joseph
    My collection has two distinct focal points.
    #1 US and colonial 18th and 19th Century coins in silver or gold specializing in rate dates and short lived mints such as Dahlonega and Charlotte.
    #2 Gold coinage of the minor European principalities, duchies, kingdoms before the amalgamation into modern countries such as Italy, Germany, Yugoslavia.

    I also have a small representation of ancient Roman and Judean coins.

    The value of my collection is not something I’d disclose to anyone except my insurance carrier.

    in reply to: Jew becoming a lawyer or judge -halachic problems ✡️⚖️ #1390713
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @jj2020

    The only person in the courtroom who must tell the truth is a witness on the stand. The attorneys (plaintiff, prosecutor, defendant) are not given sworn testimony. In fact there opening and closing statements are not testimony, they are meant to sway the trier of fact (judge or jury) to decide in a given way.

    The judge when rendering decisions on objections, admissions of evidence; charging the jury and explaining the law is giving his/her interpretation, not issuing truths,

    in reply to: Jew becoming a lawyer or judge -halachic problems ✡️⚖️ #1390711
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AviK
    I presented scenarios as an educational tool.
    As I’ve stated many tines I don’t practice Criminal Law.

    Contrary to your opinion, a lawyer can not just withdraw from a case at will. He needs the permission of the judge (which is not often granted for the reasons you state).

    Secondly, you may think something immoral…that’s by your or Judaism’s moral standards. Government courts deal with society’s morals, they are different. Attorneys must adhere to a Professional Code of Ethics or be subject to sanctions/penalties,consequences.

    An attorney is obligated to present plea offers to the client, but the attorney cannot make the client accept them.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    If the defense attorney’s name is on the prosecutor’s witness list, the judge will excuse the defense attorney from the case. One of the major reasons is that witnesses are not generally allowed to enter the courtroom before being called to the stand (unless a party to the action) because their testimony might be colored by what has transpired in the trial before they are called. If the defense attorney is not in the courtroom, he can’t effectively defend the client.

    in reply to: Coin Collecting – Numismatics #1390056
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @ZD
    Collecting coins is not just gashmius and the way of the goyim. It is a great way to teach a child world history and geography.
    It is also a possible investment
    Unlike paintings and other valuables that people may collect, coins are small and easily transportable. Many people have used them to bribe their way across borders and effect ransoms in times of danger

    in reply to: How long? #1390053
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Things to check>>>>
    Calibration of oven
    Using dark colored metal baking pans not disposables
    Pyrex needs to bake at 25 degrees F lower temp
    Is the oven fully preheated
    Is the cake on the center rack and the ONLY item in the oven
    Did you make sure to use LARGE eggs in the mix….that is the size commercial recipes call for in the US, larger eggs in the batter require longer baking times.

    Remember: cooking is an art, baking is a science. It requires accurate measurements, time and temperature

    in reply to: Food question #1390051
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    My Vegan/Celiac Niece-in-law makes this and it is quite good. She does not remember where she got the recipe (it is not her own).

    10 potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
    ½ cup (1 stick) margarine
    ¼ cup non-dairy creamer
    1 teaspoon salt
    2 onions, sliced
    2 tablespoons oil
    ½ teaspoon sugar
    Place potatoes in a large pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil and reduce heat. Simmer until potatoes are soft – about 20 to 30 minutes. Drain and mash with margarine, non-dairy creamer and salt. Spread potatoes in a greased 9 x 13-inch pan and smooth top.
    Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Sauté onions over low to medium heat until lightly browned – about 10 minutes. Add sugar and sauté 5 minutes more. Lay across top of the potatoes. Bake for 30 to 45 minutes.

    in reply to: Jew becoming a lawyer or judge -halachic problems ✡️⚖️ #1389949
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    @AviK
    One of the first things law students are taught in their first Criminal law class is don’t ask your client of he did the act for which he/she is charged.

    Again, I don’t practice criminal law, but I do teach as an adjunct professor at a law school and have taught Legal Ethics/Professional Responsibility.

    If your client admits to having committed the act with which he/she is charged. The lawyer is required to enter a non-guilty plea if that is the wish of the client.
    This plea is often entered at the arraignment and/or bail hearing. It is useful in negotiating a plea bargain with the prosecutor. The client may never go to trial to decide guilt, only before the judge for the acceptance of the plea bargain and for sentencing.
    If the client goes to trial for the crime charged, the lawyer must defend the client to the best of his ability. This is usually done by presenting alternative theories of the crime: who else, had motive, opportunity, access, etc. This is not the lawyer making a statement that the client is not guilty, but presenting scenarios that could raise doubt in the eyes of the trier of fact (judge and/or jury). What the lawyer may not do is put the client ion the stand if he knows the client will be lying. I have discussed this in an earlier reply.

    Example> my client John Doe is arrested and charged with shoplifting under $200 worth of merchandise. This would be a misdemeanor charge of larceny in the sixth degree in CT. Client tells me he took the goods from the store without paying. I go with client to arraignment, enter the plea of not guilty and he is released on a promise to appear. If he entered a plea of guilty, he would immediately be taken into custody and could be held in jail for up to two business days until he went before a judge for sentencing. He would then on a first offence be offered accelerated rehabilitation. Make restitution, stay clean for a year, pay court costs and all records would be wiped out in one year. If it was a 2nd or 3rd offense, then he’d probably get ordered to pay restitution, a fine, 90 day sentence, suspended and probation for a year.

    If he pleads not guilty and has no appreciable record, the prosecuting attorney will want to clear the workload and will offer a small fine, no jail time or probation. No need to be held in jail awaiting a trial. If no previous record, accelerated rehabilitation will be offered. In both these cases with no trial, the client will not be made to pay court costs.

    Felonies are different, but pleading your client not guilty may allow him to be out on bail while awaiting trial. A guilty plea usually means instant incarceration

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