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Ex-CTLawyerParticipant
The aeration or puncturing the skin of the dough allows the rise to occur faster. It can be done with wooden matches, toothpicks etc.
The ‘risers’ also keep the towels or plastic wrap from stocking to the dough and holding back the expansion.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantQueen……….
There is nothing to stop you calling your cleaning lady a maid. I remember when maids lived in, wore uniforms provided by the employer and provided services for the person, not just housework. I’m old enough to have experienced both and differentiate the titles.
At 8 I was responsible for my own laundry on an ongoing basis. What a treat summer camp was..they did the wash. Cooking was taught as a life skill. I cooked occasionally as a child, but mom usually had cooked food in the fridge if she had an evening meeting at school or the Board of Education.
Cooking skills were important while in college and law school. My college had kosher food available Mon-Friday only, and law school not at all, as a single living on own I was so thankful for my early training in the kitchen. In early adulthood, I ended up buying a kosher food establishment that was a good investment. During peak wedding season, I put my Saturday nights and Sundays in behind the stoves or doing prep work.
To this day, I do about 60% of the cooking in the house. My law office is attached to the home (separate outside entrance) and it is easy to slip away from my desk into the kitchen or laundry to put something in the oven or move a load of wash.
As for your comment about kids not washing clothing as often if they have to do their own:
Youngest daughter (19 today’s her birthday) is a laundry nut. Constantly doing wash. When my wife designed the new bathroom and dressing room between her’s and her other single sister’s bedroom, youngest insisted (and paid for it herself) that a stackable washer/dryer be installed for her use. No dragging laundry through the house to the laundry room, or chancing someone else using the machines when she wanted to do laundry.
OTOH, other single daughter tends to just raid youngest’s clothing supply and wear those. They are the same size and have similar clothing taste….and it’s done with permission.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph………..
Shabbos is over. The adult children have gone out for the evening and the grandchildren spending the President’s Day weekend have been put to bed.
I have just put the Shabbos table linen in the wash. They will be dried folded and put away before I go to bed tonight.
My mother Z”L spent her adult life as a teacher and principal, When each of us reached 8 years old she taught us how to do laundry (and cook) and from then on we did our own. I do my wash, Mrs. CTLawyer does hers, and our children do their own when they happen to be here (only two single ones left and both are away at school).
I do the towels and table linens. The one extravagance is that we take bed linens to a local laundry that charges by the pound to launder and iron them. That costs us about $15 per week. Well worth it in my opinion.
BTW>>>we do not have a maid. We have a cleaning woman who comes in one morning per week for 4 hours, then she eats a lunch prepared for her and goes next door for two hours to clean my Mother in law’s home.
Neither my wife or I are above running a vacuum, sweeping a floor, changing a bed, taking out trash, etc.
Most of the time only my wife and I are in residence, so it’s not hard to keep up with the house and laundry.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantgo to the website that belongs to NY channel 13…put Jewish life Europe in the search bar and it will bring up great resources/videos, teaching materials
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantakuperma…………………
Don’t bother translating the discussion into Yiddish for me. This 5th generation born in America frum 60+ year old and is 6th generation children and 7th generation grandchildren don’t use Yiddish.
BTW>>>neither did any of my maternal line, even back in Germany prior to coming to NY in 1868.
and yes I went to Yeshiva in NY, my sons in NY and EY, grandsons too young, and we attended shiurim in Hebrew, English and Aramaic, not Yiddish.
Not all frum people are of eastern European lineage that speak, read, write Yiddish…or have any desire to do so.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph,
One doesn’t need three, but in this case the driver/sofer and rebbi also served as the witnesses. The dayan from Brooklyn doesn’t take/use non-Chabad witnesses and he doesn’t have to say to someone local you are not acceptable to me.
The cost would not have been any cheaper if we needed a dayan and a sofer plus non=partisan witnesses.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoesph…
A simple Get…where the beis din doesn’t have to travel to the clients out of town and both parties are present typically runs from $500-$800.
I recently brought a Chabad beis din from Brooklyn to CT for a client’s get. The wife was planning to remarry within the Chabad sphere, the couple had a civil divorce granted 5 years ago and had lived apart for 7 years. The dayan’s driver was also the sofer and a member of the tribunal and a cousin of the dayan, who is a long time rebbe in a local day school (a true Talmud Chocham with smicha) served as the 3rd member. We used a classroom at the day school as a neutral site. The fees were $1200 including travel and we made a $100 donation to the day school for use of the room.
As for my use of the word affiliated, it may have been a poor choice. Since 1994 BDA is an autonomous organization, not a branch of RCA. I think the affiliation refers to the fact that BDA’s dayanim are members of the RCA/UOJCA and those organizations hold by BDA decisions and refer cases there.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph………
regarding fee structures………..
The Beth Din of America has set fees to maintain an ongoing organization with offices and full time employees.
This is quite different than Hareidi/Chasidic batei din comprised of part time Dayanim and witnesses gathered on the spot.
To save clients future aggravation I recommend BDA for gittin, as the records are stored in an ongoing concern, not some basement and I know if we need the records 30 years out so a child born of a second marriage can be married in EY or out of town, I can access the records. This peace of mind is worth the $200 the client might save on a get from a lesser known beis din.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph….
The Beth Din of America is NOT affiliated with the RCA. It became an autonomous organization back in 1994. Many people still have this misconception.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph……….
as a trust and family law attorney, any Jewish clients seeking a civil divorce are informed of the necessity of procuring a Get from a Beis Din in order to be able to remarry.
I have sent many to Batei Din for gittin and incorporated the get in the civil case record.
I don’t do a lot of contact work, except for my trust clients. But if there is a contract dispute and both parties are Jewish I do recommend a Beis Din before a civil trial. I have one family in particular, where I handle 5 generations of people who have trusts and beneficiaries who submit to the Beis Din when there are disputes concerning the trusts.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph>>>
copied and pasted from the website of Beth Din of America in NYC:
FEES
Typically, a din torah case is heard by a panel of three dayanim (arbitrators) at the rate of $300 per hour per side ($600 per hour total). Cases involving amounts in controversy of less than $10,000 are typically heard by a single dayan at the rate of $150 per hour per side ($300 per hour total
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantAs taught by the old Irish Spinster in my 6th grade English class (more than half a century ago): You can shut a window, you can shut a door, but you can’t shut up.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI have no idea of the circumstances of the OP’s friend.
Mrs. CTlawyer and I celebrated our 45th anniversary this year. We spent a day in NYC doing some of the things we’d done while dating all those years ago, and not since. Circle Line tour, Empire State Building Observation Deck and a trip to the Natural History Museum.
We did also make a shopping detour on 47th Street for a new bauble
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph….
I did not use Google. I am a history buff. My BA degree is in US History. As for the exact dates of the election, I merely referred to my teaching notes. This is a piece of trivia I use in one of the courses I teach in US Government at a local college.
Federal Election Day was fixed as the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November in 1845. 1848 was the first Presidential election held on that date.
BTW>>>not all local/state elections are held in November. Here in CT there are still some municipalities with elections in March, but that is soon to e a thing of the past and we’ll have a unified date.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantSo, the elections of 1800 and 1900 did not take place in leap years and only part of the first US Presidential election took place in a leap year. January 1-10, 1789 was not in a leap year.
February 1, 2016 1:09 am at 1:09 am in reply to: What if landlord insists on showing the house on shabbos? #1134763Ex-CTLawyerParticipantAbba_S
I was in no way suggesting that a landlord would break a door down to show an occupied apartment to a prospective tenant. I was specifically giving an example of the downside risk of changing the lock without permission and not supplying the landlord with a working key.
Yes, landlords are responsible to keep apartment keys secure and may be liable for damages if they do not. The example of the leak I posted in no way suggested a Shabbos repair had to be made at weekend labor rates. I posted a situation where the tenants were away for Pesach, it could have been a 2 week summer vacation…the landlord needs access to make the repairs and is entitled to have a working key…in some places by law, in most according to the lease.
As for your suggested items that must be proved by the landlord: A..no need to prove when the leak started, merely that damage is being done to another unit and the landlord’s key doesn’t fit a lock that the landlord didn’t install. B…if the landlord’s key doesn’t fit the lock, the legal concept of Res ipsa loquitor (the thing speaks for itself) applies. The tenant has access and the landlord is denied, therefore the tenant or his/her agent changed the lock without permission and/or supplying the landlord with a new key. A stranger doesn’t just come around changing a landlord’s lock and giving the tenant a key. C…landlord doesn’t have to prove breaking down the door was the most efficient way, merely expedient. Every minute of delay more damage is being done by the leak. Calling and waiting for a locksmith might effect a less costly repair to the door, but a more costly repair to leak damage. The courts will merely decide if the method used by the landlord was reasonable under the circumstances. Reasonable, doesn’t mean cheapest, most efficient or best.
I’ve been a landlord for more than 36 years (both residential and commercial), sometimes one has to pay overtime for timely repairs. Not all plumbers charge extra on Shabbos, most I’ve used do on Sundays.
It’s not all about money. It is possible for landlords and tenants to have a harmonious relationship.
January 31, 2016 3:46 pm at 3:46 pm in reply to: What if landlord insists on showing the house on shabbos? #1134759Ex-CTLawyerParticipantNo, I am not your lawyer. But the post telling the tenant to change the lock to bar entry by the landlord could be considered giving legal advice.
I simply warn non-attorneys not to render legal advice, the state laws are very strict on this practice.
I often post with disclaimers that laws vary by jurisdiction. I advise consulting an attorney in your jurisdiction and checking with government authorities for the local rules/regulations.
Self help can be dangerous and/or costly.
e.g. You have changed the lock without permission and have not given the super/landlord/agent a working key. You and the family are away for Pesach. Your toilet is leaking damaging the apartment below (or more units). The landlord has to break down your door to get in. Not only will you be liable for his costs to fix/replace entry, but you may have been contributory negligent in the damage to other apartments because entry was delayed. Landlord arrived on scene with key that worked when you let the apartment, now he has to go get tools and or labor to break down the door while the leak continues to cause damage.
My advice always tells to to do the equivalent of “consult your LOR” in this case Locally admitted attorney.
January 31, 2016 12:42 pm at 12:42 pm in reply to: What if landlord insists on showing the house on shabbos? #1134756Ex-CTLawyerParticipantactually, the owner of an illegal apartment must tread lightly…he has much more at risk than the tenant. The landlord can suffer heavy fines from the government, risk not being able to collect rent, be ordered to go through the zoning appeals process, a a great cost, to make the apartment legal, and/or be ordered to make major repairs/renovations to the building.
Giving legal advice without being a member of the bar is illegal in most states. You haven’t any knowledge of the lease or the tenancy laws in the jurisdiction. In many leases, and in many jurisdictions, a tenant is required to provide the landlord with keys that work to open the apartment for security/safety purposes. The tenant may be required to receive permission or be forbidden by lease to change locks.
That $20 lock could cause thousands in legal expenses for the tenant if sued for eviction because of breach of contract, or costs of new locks, door, frame, etc. if the door must be broken down for emergency access because the tenant changed the lock and didn’t give the landlord the new key.
January 31, 2016 3:12 am at 3:12 am in reply to: What if landlord insists on showing the house on shabbos? #1134753Ex-CTLawyerParticipanta few observations from posts made by others………..
A frum landlord.
The landlord may be frum, but the Real Estate agent/apartment manager/super may not be. Often the landlord does not show the apartment, these surrogates/agents do.
Standard lease…
The days of walking into the stationery store and purchasing a ‘standard’ residential lease for 50 cents are long gone. There are many ‘standard’ leases on the internet as well as some used by local Boards of Realtors, but there is really no such thing as a standard lease. Most leases are custom, or edited versions of leases obtained elsewhere over time.
Real Estate and tenant law varies by jurisdiction. Especially as pertains to small buildings 2-3 family homes or less than 6 unit buildings, and if the owner lives in the building.
Be proactive, if you know you are not planning to renew your lease, a reason that your apartment will be shown, send your landlord a certified letter by the required notice date in your lease and offer a general set of times when showing are most convenient for you. It makes it easier for the landlord to know that Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 7-8 PM and Sundays from 1-3 PM are convenient for you so he can offer that to the prospective tenant, rather than have to go back and forth between multiple parties to arrange showings.
January 28, 2016 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm in reply to: What if landlord insists on showing the house on shabbos? #1134724Ex-CTLawyerParticipantThis attorney will remind you to read and comply with the lease. Chances are that your lease allows the landlord to show the apartment. BUT he MUST give notice (the parameters may be defined in the lease) and you may reject a showing time by offering an alternate time that is convenient.
When it comes time to sign a new lease insert language that says no showings on Shabbos or yuntif. Chances are the landlord will agree.
If you repeatedly refuse showings and cause the landlord to lose a bonafide renter you may find yourself in court being sued or the economic loss.
If you are concerned about pictures and your privacy, take a set of pictures with those items removed and offer them to the landlord to duplicate for prospective tenants.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantPot au feu
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantQueen…it doesn’t matter that this is a school rule or why they made the rule……
The original post asks “what do you guys think?”
I’ve told you what I think. This has nothing to do with whether I’d allow my girls to break a school rule…I would not.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantQueen………
and is that necklace 16″ 18″ 22″ or 14″ in length? Are those pearls matinee or opera length?
Even more perplexing is a rigid necklace that would open up more space right to left than a chain that hangs.
The information you give leaves much to interpretation.
This reminds me of a chasanah I attended more than 50 years ago. The boy was a BT and the girl from a Brooklyn Chasidic sect. Her future mother in law was told to wear a dress that had a high neck and long sleeves, she arrived at the hall in such a gown, but it had cut outs in the bodice and an open back.
My mother A”H rushed over and quickly wrapped her own mink evening wrap around this lady, explaining that she’d be much more comfortable that way.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantQueen,
If your girls want to schlep a sweater or jacket, fine. My princesses took outfits of different weights.
BTW>>>
as a disclosure, my father owned more than 15 clothing stores, my grandfather manufactured clothing, I both owned 3 clothing stores and a sewing factory in early adulthood, before going to law school.
Since clothing was our parnossah, I am predisposed to young ladies owning and wearing varied wardrobes.
I also believe that one is supposed to wear one’s best to honor Shabbos, and nothing requires you to wear only one outfit per Shabbos. What is fresh and crisp and clean at 6PM on Friday may be limp, wrinkled and even have a whiff of odor by Mincha Shabbos, especially at a Shabbaton with dancing and activity.
I don’t wear the same clothing in the evening that I wear in the office or court during the day. I also don’t wear the same suit or shirt, etc Friday night and Shabbos morning. I put on a fresh laundered and starched shirt and a suit that is not wrinkled. In summer, I also may change to a lighter weight suit before walking back to shul for mincha.
None of this has to be about showing off or competition. Flaunting wealth thru designer logos is gauche, and often the modus operandi of noveau riche or wannabees.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantMy girls always wore multiple outfits for Shabbos. It wasn’t based on competition or showing off. They always packed different clothing for evening and daytime to account for different temperatures, etc. Walking home from shul after a program at 9pm might require warmer clothing than walking to shul in the mid morning sunshine.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph………..
Your basic premise is flawed.
I live in Fairfield County, CT. Definitely part of Metro NY, lots of commuters to Manhattan on Metro North. But my small town is definitely considered out of town. It is NOT considered hick or hillbilly. The level of education of residents is much higher than NYC–daughter did a sociology paper on this demographic last semester.
Those who choose to live here may well be pretentious, and don’t necessarily lead a simple life. I am an attorney, father, grandfather, property owner, landlord and an elected official……….
Couple that with Jewish involvement, learning, being on the board of assorted shuls, day schools, Jewish charities..that doesn’t make my life simple.
I certainly question what you mean by sophisticated? I think your urban centric attitude is myopic.
Not everyone wants to live in a ghetto, even if it is high income and self-imposed. We are not kollel people. We go to Yeshiva, seminary and then University and graduate schools. Jews need members of the tribe who can represent them in the civil legal system, tend to their medical and dental needs, etc.
One can be part of the Yeshiva affiliated world and still have a profession.
I only live an hour from midtown Manhattan, that’s out of town, but not hillbilly.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantWe knew (via weather reports) Thursday night that the snow was expected early Shabbos morning and would continue all day.
So the board of the shul cancelled Shabbos services then. The phone squad went to work calling the regulars (after all the snow birds are in Florida) and we had more than a dozen guests including the rabbi for Shabbos in our home.
They carpooled Friday afternoon, so no cars were left outside to be shoveled out after Shabbos. We set up for davening in our sunroom where our sifrei torah are kept in an aron. The women guests plus my wife and youngest daughter davened in the den. It has a glass wall overlooking the sunken sun room and with the transoms open they could hear.
My wife prepared a couple of large cholents which went into clay baking vessels buried in the hearth. There was a huge kettle of soup simmering all night hanging on a tripod near the fire, as well as an old brass samovar of hot water. The main part of our home was built more than 200 years ago and there are 5 working fireplaces (which we use all winter), two of which are set for cooking. No need to chance a power outage in a blizzard.
It was still snowing at the end of Shabbos so we had a mini-melava malka. Some of the teens came by on snowmobiles or in 4 wheel drives. The storm tapered off about 8PM. We had about 15 inches. It took about 1/2 an hour to shovel the walks to out driveway and garage. By then out plow service had cleared the driveway and my 2nd son-in-law and I drove everyone home.
This type of a home Shabbos occurs once or twice each winter when a storm is expected, and once each February as a planned retreat for 5 local families including wives and children.
January 24, 2016 5:37 pm at 5:37 pm in reply to: If you do not have s'micha, can you advertise yourself as "Rabbi"? #1134336Ex-CTLawyerParticipantDaasyochid…”presumably, the menahel who hired a rebbe vouched for his appropriate level of scholarship for his position.”
If only that was true.
Too many day schools and primary grade yeshivos have faculties populated by relatives of the Menahel. Many lack the appropriate level of scholarship.
When you live out of town, you often have no choice as to which yeshiva or day school to send your youngsters. This is why we made 60 minute trips each way to take our kids to yeshiva in another city when they were in 2-5 grades.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantMy great grandfather was niftar when I was 22 months old. He lived with us his final year of life. I can remember seeing my father help dress great grandfather and that he wore long john underwear……
That memory is more than 60 years old…but I won’t tell you how many more years than 60.
edited
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantwe have 4 dogs. Their food is stored and prepared in a small treyf kitchen built onto the back of our garage. The refrigerator/freezer, stove and keilim are not used for humans. The door is kept locked and only Mrs. CTLAWYER and I have the keys. Our children were never allowed to prepare or serve the dogs’ food.
As to bleach, we often use it in the sink and it may get on keilim, so a hechscher is nice even if not required. Laundry detergent or floor cleaner with a hechscher is just a way for the kashrus organization to raise money.
January 17, 2016 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm in reply to: East Ramapo School Monitor with Veto Power Bill #1133293Ex-CTLawyerParticipant“If a realtor brings to a seller a legitimate buyer with a legitimate offer, the seller has the right to refuse for any reason”
If a realtor presents a bonafide offer from a ready, willing and able buyer that meets the terms of the listing (full price, no contingencies, etc.) and the seller refuses, the seller may find him/herself liable for the full commission to the realtor on a house not sold.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantTechnical21…….
No comment was made as to your parents and their opinion, just to you considering a statement offensive.
There is no condescension in my observations about how opinions change with maturation and aging and I gave an example of myself to show that.
You are young, enjoy your youth. I pray that you have a long, healthy and productive life. You will find that opinions, attitudes and tastes change over the course of a lifetime.
No one is advocating that you do anything that is not right for you or your parents.
I have advocated that each make decisions according to his/her own situation at the time. My parents were married in February 1944-in NYC in the middle of WWII. Wartime rationing was in place. Adults were allowed one new pair of shoes per year. Brides could not buy material for gowns, they were rented. Guests attending the affair had to give their ration points to the caterer in advance so the caterer could obtain sufficient food. It didn’t matter that my maternal grandfather was a wealthy doctor and my paternal grandfather was making his fortune by manufacturing army uniforms. A lavish chasunah with black market purchases (which were fully available) was not appropriate in that situation.
I hope that when your time comes you and your parents arrange a chasunah that conforms with your ideals/values.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipant@Daasyochid
I think that in 20 or 30 years Technical 21 will have changed her opinion. It is amazing the wisdom gained with age.
I learned at age 40…My father was always right, just sometimes it took me 10 or 15 years to recognize it.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantToday’s YWN featires a photo essay on Day 1 of Aguda’s Winter Yarchei Kallah. Many of the attendees (adult males) photographed have no beards
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph…………….
I feel obligated to provide my daughter with the type of simcha she desires as long as it is comfortably within my means. It has nothing to do with keeping up with others. My ‘comparable’ remark was in response to another poster’s remark about living in a community where this is the norm.
Technical21…………..
I have no idea of your parents circumstances. Chances are that I (in my mid 60s) am substantially older than them. My children are grown and educated, my home is long paid off and my housing cost for a large home is far less than the monthly cost of a 2 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. I have a successful professional practice, built by hard work and long hours, that now has the next generation involved. One can spend money commensurate with their station in life without being a showoff.
Doing things elegantly doesn’t mean shameless waste. One does not amass wealth through waste. As I’ve posted before, I may have a large home in small town Connecticut, but I still mow the lawn, shovel snow and take out the garbage.
I earlier described (in another thread) that the actual Chasunah will be in our home late morning with a sit down luncheon of approximate 80 closest relatives and friends. That is the small and intimate experience my daughter wishes. The evening affair is in NY to include the not so close relatives, business associates and not as close friends from school, yeshiva, seminary, law school and camp in honoring the simcha.
Hoping to avoid offense or sounding gauche, those who cannot afford to make large and/or lavish affairs often profess to prefer small, intimate and simple affairs.
My wife and I live for our children and grandchildren. We don’t spend money vacationing. We were brought up to value money and not waste. My Oma taught me to buy the best, even if you can only buy less, as it will last and cost less in the long run. “Cheap is dear.” Poor quality items must be replaced quickly and cost more in the long run. This philosophy has served me well in the long run. My everyday watch is a Rolex bought 35 years ago for $1600…a cost of ownership of $45 per year. I expect that I’ll wear and enjoy it for the rest of my life and then my eldest son may have it. I drive a 12 year old car. Yes, it was very expensive when new, but I’ve yet to hit 60,000 miles and will probably own it for 20 years when I get my next car.
It is a matter of priorities and choices. I’d rather spend on simchas than sadness. I’ll not give one cent less Tzedaka because of the cost of the chasunah, in fact, I’ll probably make extra contributions in honor of the event.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantYou are correct that I can afford to make the chasunah I describe. If I couldn’t afford it, I’d not be making it. What someone may consider extravagant, some one else may consider ordinary.
In today’s dollars this will be quite less extravagant than my own wedding when we took over an entire hotel for a 3 day weekend…times have changed.
The chasunah will be comparable to many made by those in my profession or whom I do business with. This evening affair will be in NY, not the community I live in. It will be tasteful, not gaudy, brash or loud. It is made to honor the simcha, not impress guests, neighbors or friends. the food will be quality and plentiful, but not the extreme waste we often see, and there will be no sushi….we don’t care for it and don’t feel obligated to serve it.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantIt is not for you to determine what is a waste of my money. The relief keyboard player will also play soft background music as guests enter the dining room and the orchestra is making their transition from the shmorgasbord room to the dining room, and during other scheduled orchestra breaks.
If I wanted recorded music, I could have hired a DJ. We want live music arranged and played as we choose and at sound levels we determine.
The orchestra will not be absent during the entire meal service, they’ll eat during the main course. As for getting back to the job they were hired to do, that is what they will be doing, according to the terms of a contract that is fair to both labor and host.
We hire professionals and pay accordingly. When a chasunah involves a full 8 hour shift plus travel time, the orchestra members are entitled to ample breaks, meal, snacks and beverages.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph………..
It was a Jewish senior judge who gave the clothing color advice.
The question of the beard is not religion related. Non-Jewish attorneys of my generation don’t wear them either.
In fact, I tell non-Jewish clients who are going to testify before a jury to get rid of their beards. Studies have shown that potential jurors give less credence to testimony of bearded men. They think a clean shaven man has less to hide.
Wearing a yarmulka was never an issue in law school or in court (40 years experience).
Some jurisdictions are more progressive than others. I know female attorneys that will wear a pant suit in NY courts, that always wear a below the knee skirt and dark stockings/tights here in conservative New England.
My maternal side is Yekkah. To quote my late maternal grandfather Z”L, ‘the bigger the beard, the bigger the faker.’ Unfortunately, this attitude is often expressed by those involved in trials, why should I jeopardize my livelihood or my clients’ interests when an electric shaver is permitted by halacha?
My lack of beard hasn’t hurt my children’s shidduchim. I have 3 married and 1 engaged. Two fathers-in law have beards, one not. The engaged daughter’s father-in-law to be is a surgeon who does not wear a beard.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantNo.
In fact as a parent I prefer that boys be where their parents can keep a proper eye on them.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantSome of us make our living in the general population and a beard may be detrimental to one’s success.
It is not considered appropriate in the conservative courtrooms here in New England. In fact about a year ago I commented that when I first started practicing law, a senior judge took me aside and told me that only the Judge wears black in the courtroom. So I wear Midnight Blue or extremely dark grey suits.
I have found that the younger generation (under 45) can get away with a neatly trimmed beard and my eldest son does wear one in his practice. As for me, a beard will wit until I am fully retired.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph…
I’m endorsing making a wedding appropriate for your means at the time of the wedding.
My eldest has been married more than 25 years. You can’t expect that I’d spend the same amount of money on a weeding this year.
Also, we come from a tradition that says the kallah’s family pays for the chasunah. Therefore, how fancy/expensive my sons’ weddings were was determined by the machatunim.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI guess Mrs. CTLAWYER is old fashioned and out of the loop. She read Mashiach Agent’s comment about choice of a one man or 5 piece band and asked me if this is the relief while the orchestra takes their break or eats dinner?
Daughter’s chasunah is less than 90 days off, and both an orchestra (no singer) and a relief keyboard player have been hired. Orchestra will eat when guests have their main course and the keyboard player will provide soft background music that allows conversation at the dining tables.
CTLAWYER has been repeatedly told to remember the mantra: DADDY WILL PAY. Wife was given a healthy budget, but I’m sure she is supplementing it from her knippel.
Lastly, my own comment…there is no need to go broke. BUT regular is based on one’s economic circumstances. A 45 year old marrying off his eldest while the youngest are still to be educated, etc. is in different circumstances than a 65 year old marrying off one of his youngest, and all are educated and self supporting.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantMsPrincess………
From personal experience, I can tell you that our shul rabbi’s contract included tuition to Miclalah for his three daughters. I am one of the baal batim who shouldered the cost of tuition and airfare. Often, the salary of a shul rav is only a small part (taxable) of the total compensation package. Housing, education, travel, clothing are often supplied.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph……………..
Please explain to me how ‘Ted’ Rafael Edward Cruz, could meet the Constitutional citizenship/birth requirements to be President of the USA.
He was born in Canada to a formerly American mother (she had previously renounced her US citizenship) and a Cuban father.
Unlike lower offices, the Constitution requires that the President be born on US soil.
For more than 8 years we’ve heard the ‘birthers’ attack President Obama’s place of birth and qualifications to be President, why the great silence for this conservative Hispanic Presidential wannabe?
December 29, 2015 4:20 pm at 4:20 pm in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120662Ex-CTLawyerParticipantTechnical20
Yes, I am male.
I met with shadchanim more than 40 years ago when I was single.
I also met with them within the past dozen years as the parent of both boys and girls and rejected their services.
In the case of my daughters, they absolutely were making a sales pitch…it may have to do with my perceived income/status.
December 29, 2015 3:44 pm at 3:44 pm in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120660Ex-CTLawyerParticipant@Technical 20
“Do you know anyone who works for free?”
Yes, the losing attorneys who take contingency fee cases. It’s a common practice, the client only pays when you win.
BTW> I don’t practice that field of law.
As I’ve posted earlier, the initial meeting with the shadchan is you giving your time free to listen to the shadchan’s pitch as to why the shadchan should be engaged to perform a service. If you decide to use the service, then you pay.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantAbba_S
In Connecticut these small cemeteries owned by defunct congregations and organizations are usually taken over by the Jewish Federations.
Massachusetts has the Jewish Cemetery Association, which has assumed ownership and care for both abandoned cemeteries and those of functioning congregations. My BIL is Rav of small congregation in Massachusetts with a cemetery going back 100+ years. They turned it over to JCAM along with funds to endow the upkeep. Professional management and full time groundskeepers can really cut costs.
edited by mod to remove link
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantNeville ChaimBerlin……………..
You read words in my posts that never appear.
I did not post that I would not vote for Bernie. I wrote in a reply to Joseph that “I do not think America is ready for an Intermarried Jewish Socialist as President.”
If Sanders is the Democratic nominee and Trump the Republican, I’d vote Sanders.
I always vote, sometimes the choices are not great. I’m proud that I voted McGovern, NOT Nixon in 1972.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph………….
I’m glad you have a crystal ball.
While likely that the R nominee will be one of those already declared, it is not definite.
Hillary is leading but not guaranteed the nomination.
Politics makes strange bedfellows.
The first National Democratic Convention I attended was back in 1968 and I’ve been to 4 since. I am a delegate to the CT State convention next year. Don’t know if I’ll be a delegate to national. Only time and deals…as well as party members’ votes will determine the nominees.
All of the above is a consideration, also the choice of VP candidate. I could in no way vote for John McCain when he chose Sarah Palin as a running mate…it was an insult to my intelligence.
Ask me again after the nominating conventions.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph……..
No, all I wrote is that I would not vote for any of the declared candidates for the Republican nomination.
There are 6 months until the party conventions. Candidates have been known to crash and burn during similar time periods.
I admit to not being a Republican, so have no vote in their primary. That doesn’t mean that I automatically vote for whomever the Democrats nominate.
8 years ago Hillary was the Democratic front runner, but didn’t get the nomination. I have known her since she was a law student at Yale. She is a very accomplished and talented person, but has lots of political baggage.
I do not think America is ready for an Intermarried Jewish Socialist as President.
My mind is open and I’ll be watching to see what additional candidates appear before the election. I’ll make up my mind after the nominating process is complete.
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