Forum Replies Created
Flowers – and so are other acts as well!
msseeker -Fabie, you’re confusing shalom bayis problems with abuse.
Yes, this is exactly my point. People tend to exaggerate, and miss the fine line.
BTW Twisted, I have quite a lot of experience in this field, and have seen plenty of true abuse. Unfortunately, many of the actual cases of true abuse never get taken care of since the person being abused becomes accustomed to it. I remeber in a class we had for foster parents, their was a case of a child who said, “they missed the iron, which the father used to iron their back with.”
Flowers – I’m quite certain if you take every relationship out of context you could get those results. Honestly, it takes two to tango, you really need to know what and why these things are happening.
Yes going too far is definitely a dangerous sign!
He promised to clean out the garage — week after week after week after week — and never came through?
Hay you’ve got me on this one, but no reason to rush to divorce for this alone.
Agree here as well, on both sides though. Abused women tend to be abusive as well, to both their spouses and to their children.
Here are some of steps in how to deal with most situations.
1. Speak openly to your spouse about your suffering and lack of satisfaction. Never expect immediate solutions or immediate agreement. Learning to solve problems together is the best solution. Don’t run away just because he/she may be annoyed by what you have to say. Don’t hold anger in. Try seeking simple advice from those both of you respect. Don’t play the get even game, or lets play fare game. You forget to say hello nicely, so I will do the same. Each person should concentrate on their own giving and rules. Communicate difficult issues when the times are the most favorable. Both are in a good mood. No children crying in the background, etc. If you feel you are being abused, try respond with favorable deeds. Look for positive feedback from your partner, and then go with it. Never get family members involved.
2. If 1 doesn’t work, ask your spouse if their is anyone he would suggest that might be able to solve the previous issues.
3. If he/she still refuses ask if he/she would be disturbed if they saw someone agreed upon for support.
4. Finally, if none of those work, seek help by yourself.
That’s my rant for now.
As I live in E”Y I’m unfamiliar with The Shalom Task Force, and as so I can in no way pass judgement about them. My comments regard those who listen to one side, and sometimes do more harm then good. I could give examples and write specifics, but I am also crystal clear that there are unfortunately numerous cases of actual abuse.
May I be a little rude. Are you 100% sure that this is the case? Different parties both male and female can play as if they are the poor innocent victim.
Question 2: Is abusive physical, mental, emotional, something else.
If there is physical abuse, then he should definitely be warned and stands to suffer severe potential damage.
If the others are the case, are there any potential possibilities of help, like therapy.
Beis Din nad/or a local rav may and should be able to help as well.
I do have a bit of experience in the field, so please don’t take my comments as “abusive”.
I have a few kneighbors there. Check out the school and other similar ones well before sending!
I don’t know what the crisis is in the USA, but in E”Y it’s money!
Feif Un – Very interesting statement of yours, since apparently you are more on the modern side then the Yeshiviish. I appreciate your statements about politics in general. Seems you are an independent thinker. Nice to see your flexibility!December 6, 2010 9:33 pm at 9:33 pm in reply to: Obama Just Doesn't Get It: It's the economy, stupid! #717252
Charlie – Double yawn. Sheli Shelcha – Shelcha Sheli, Am Haaretz. Try Adam Smith, Hayek, Milton Friedman, Thomas Sowell Walter E. Williams, et. al., to get a better understanding of Economics. That is the Torah approach if you try researching into it. BTW, Bibi saved Israel’s economy by moving right, cutting back heavily on welfare, good for him. Yes, I personally lost out, but it was the right thing to do.
I think you’re being naive. How do you expect to make a parnassah. Where do you plan on living? Do you know the cost of living. Do you have any friends and or acquaintances? Do you have any idea of how you will meet your future Kallah?December 3, 2010 8:45 am at 8:45 am in reply to: Who Composed The Song Tatte Tatte & Who Sang It First? #714867
I believe it was Abie Rottenberg from Dveykus. He was a high-School Rebbie of mine.
Charlie – There was no Shas party at that time, and the immigration from the former Soviet Bloc was 99% non-frum. The Ashkenazi frum have still been growing by the numbers.
If you can find good friends that he can relate to, that will help. Some LD children don’t make it in Yeshiva, so they look elsewhere for something fulfilling, a real tragedy. Getting them into a good chevre is the positive step.
RBS Aleph and Bet are completely different, as is the Kiryah. Every shul their has it’s own slice. My daughter(s) was very happy with the high school there, but commuting was a real pain. Plenty of politics, and extremely diverse, too much so. MO and Meah Shearim just don’t blend. Yes, loads of Anglo dropouts, but not 50%. There is an underground spying agency that reports the sem girls not playing by the ryles, but we didn’t have that problem fortunately.
Without reading the entire thread. There is no such thing as an overeducated woman. If a woman is respectful to her husband regardless of his intellect, then we’re fine. If she abuses her intellect, then that’s another story.
Honestly, a smart Yeshiva Man is better off with an educated woman, not that that’s the only or main part of the relationship, but it surely helps, even when, and maybe better yet when her expertise is in another field as his is, e.g., a lawyer – Talmid Chacham.
Good healthy intelligent discussion!
That’s quite impressive!
Why hasn’t anyone mentioned the threat of Iran. They did actually threat to wipe us, i.e., in E”Y off the map, and we know what the two candidates said before the election, and what is going on now.
The OP was dealing with E”Y!
Well getting paid is quite simple, through PayPal or something similar, or bank transfer.
No, it wouldn’t be more beneficial for the child, except that he doesn’t have to leave home (if that’s a benfit), and hours may be a little more flexible. Or for a family living in an area with few choices.
Young children would probably be difficult if possible at all.
The main difference would be fees, which I would be charging far lower then the going rates, since at present I’m in E”Y where the pay is less anyway, added by the convenience as well.
Another possible advantage would be to learn with multiple students at a time in different locations.
Again, the main issues are:
1. the feasibility, like the issue that you mentioned,
2. as well as if the idea is sellable.
3. how to advertise.
Do to the encomic situation, I do see some potential, but that’s really the type of feedback I’m interested in.
Oh, didn’t notice there was a response. I think it’s quite simple. Lets say we both have Skype or something similar. We have video cameras. I get the child’s curriculum, whether through file or scanned. We then have an on-line meeting. Questions, comments and suggestions are sent by e-mail, and the rest is done live.
How about trying to get a job as a cashier in a market or store. Pay is generally around minimum wage, you may need to stand, but you can usually get a job quite easily, and the math is done automatically.
Very often people interpret life in different ways, therefore giving out hard fact blank statements is a bad idea. If one friend sees a girl as modern, unorganized, good looking, etc., that doesn’t mean that that is actually the case. After speaking to numerous sources, one should be able to get a good picture.
Darchei Noam – That is a myth. Try looking at the mekores that were mentioned!
In the US or E”Y?
I really love this thread. Definitely a good start learning how to save money. Tutoring on the side as was mentioned here is a nice supplement as well.
Rav Michael Yehuda Lefkowitz as well banned it.
Come over to my house and I will reward you with plenty of enriching deeds to do!
BP Totty – I feel you. A Ben Torah is a lifestyle dedicated to Torah. The definition of a Talmid Chocham who is putter from paying certain taxes is one who goes back to learning when he gets his purnussah. If someone in Kollel is not learning when he has the chance to, and someone is working, and when he finishes he goes straight to learn, then by the previous definition he’s a Tolmid Chachom. Simlarly taking treife gelt, or bad midos and/or haskofas is definitely not a Ben Torah.
The Gedolim who banned it apparently didn’t like some of the things mentioned about Reb Aharon specifically, which apparently they had been told about what it said. I believe there was another Gadol as well who had some comments, which weren’t appreciated. I believe they considered those maasim to show lack of kavod.
My personal suggestion is to ask one of the Rabbonim who make those statements in person to get a clear understanding of what their opinion is, and abide by it.
My brother specifically asked Rav Sheinberg about the Shteinsaltz Gemoras, and he told him what was inappropriate, and why he banned it.
There are great second hand suits on e-bay for $10.
I haven’t read through this thread so I hope I’m not restating something. As a side suggestion, why can’t large frum communities create their own library, purchase a basement or appropriate facility, buy a few thousand books, and get a librarian.
SJS – Try reading a little bit before reacting!
Minyan Gal – No there isn’t. Al Gore needs our money, laughing all the way to the bank!
In the e-mail it says sale period – 14-18 October, that’s today, travel period 01/11/10-31/03/11
Unfortunately this business of crooked askanim is very common. I don’t know the details of this specific case, but I know how things work here – E”Y. One should always try to clarify as many issues as possible for himself.
Maybe, but I would try this link anyway. I have compared previously starting from NY and got similar prices.
What you don’t realize is, is the fact that no one is interested in allowing two roommates to file their taxes together, it’s only if they are engaged in sinful acts are they interested in equating their deeds to a holy marrital bind.
By all means propose a law allowing any two individuals to file joint taxes, whether they’re two roomamtes, mother and son, brother and sister, etc., but don’t create special rules for individuals doing sinful acts.
BTW, what were Ayn Rand’s policies regarding religion, and Israel?
Is this what you’re referring to:
1. In 1627 Heller was called to the chief rabbinate of Prague. On account of the Thirty Years’ war the government imposed heavy taxes on the Jewish communities of Bohemia, including that of Prague,which had to pay a yearly tax of 40,000 thalers. As Heller was the chief rabbi he was compelled, against his will, to preside over the commission which had the task of apportioning that sum among the members of his communities. Although he acted with the greatest conscientiousness, some complained of unfair allotment. They accused Heller and the elders of the commission before the civil authorities of having spared the rich and laid the burden of the tax on the poorer people.
2. Several factors account for Heller’s imprisonment. His arrest marked the beginning of a brief Habsburg anti-Jewish campaign, encouraged by the Papacy. Heller also had enemies within the Prague Jewish community. On account of the Thirty Years’ War, the government had imposed heavy taxes on the Jewish communities of Bohemia, including that of Prague, which had to pay a yearly tax of 40,000 thalers. A commission headed by Chief Rabbi Heller unanimously voted to tax each Jewish family in Prague. The richer the family, the higher the tax. The burden fell mostly upon the rich merchants who could well afford to pay their assessments. However, they complained and demanded a reexamination of the decision. R’ Heller and his committee reviewed the problem and concluded that this approach was fair. The committee met with representatives of the merchants’ association to explain the sensitive situation facing the Jewish community of Prague. The irate merchants refused to deal with the Kahal which was responsible for delivering the money to the government. Instead, they decided to appeal to the government. In their petition they charged the Chief Rabbi with being an enemy of Christianity. Their proof: “His writings are filled with allegations against the religion of the country. R’ Heller was associated with the wealthy leader of the Prague community at that time, Jacob Bassevi, and bore the brunt of anger against him. Meanwhile, Bassevi, who was an ally of the great general Albrecht von Wallenstein, also had enemies at the Habsburg court, and the arrest of Heller played a part in larger political machinations there.
Three different historical accounts, but none of them relate in any way to the discussion here!
I honestly can’t believe some of the things being written here:
SJSinNYC – Betty Friedan!!!, care to explain your opinion of her, and how that may compare with Rosa Parks.
Gay marriage – please read above post!
Charlie – Ron Paul explained the newsletters. Ayn Rand over the Tosefos Yom Tov, WoW!!!!! No, the Tosefos Yom Tov was not a Socialist, and definitely not a Fascist! The present administration is. The US government as well is not Rav Yom Tov Heller, and never will be!
How many corrupt bureaucrats did Rav YT Heller have on his pay roll?
When did the US not have a progressive tax, and when did any fiscal Conservative ever suggest that the poor and wealthy pay identical taxes?
OK, getting hot in the CR.
SJS – Marriage is a religious concept that we take for granted, just like a week a month (moon) – in the Jewish-Islamic calendar, and burial. Refer to the Kuzari about these.
If two males or females can wed, why can’t two females to a male or vice-versa, and why can’t any two individuals make a covenant together.
Creating a legal agreement is one thing, binding that to traditional marriage is another.
Thanks LAGuy for clearing that up. I saw Ner Aryeh mentioned on VTC’s web-site, but when I asked my brother about it he said they closed it down. My brother worked for VTC last year.
Since I’ve been living in E’Y for quite along time, and we have enough of our own politics here, I am unfamiliar with him.
May I ask a simple question. Does he have support from any prominent Rabbonim-Gedolim, and does he have opposition from any prominent Rabbonim-Gedolim?
I thought Ner Aryeh closed as well.
Thanks for your support!
Hey, I’ll chime in. As Walter E Williams points out. Conservatives donate more money to charity then Liberals, and Capitalist countries donate more money then Socialist.
Try reading, watching and listening to the works of Milton Friedman, Thomas Sowell and Walter E Williams.
I was a Democrat for almost 30 years before I completely saw the light.
With BHO as president, I found it hard to believe that anyone can vote for a Democrat to Congress.
Riddle: Who sent the Flotillas to Israel. Hint – There is a link to the president.