FuturePOTUS

I just saw your first post, I wasn’t intending to insult anyone in any way, I should’ve written it clearer.

Yeah that was my assumption, that it’s permitted because there will never be any contact. I assume they asked Daas Torah before they created this, mods?

I think the most significant problem with what he did was undermine the work the Jewish community is already doing on the issue. The proper people to take action are the askanim in our community who work day in and day out to ensure our safety and wellbeing. By asking an out of place, poorly phrased, insulting question, Turx made it much more difficult for those who can actually have an impact to take action.

I made the comment because I believe the two of you could be really good friends and have a positive influence on each other.

It’s his style of talking. It’s not presidential, but neither is he.

I’m totally in favor of having the mods give you each other’s emails. Would that work/be halachically OK?

lilmod ulelamaid: I just bought Daniel Goleman’s book called Emotional Intelligence. He outlays a theory like what you’re saying, and says that it’s emotional intelligence (EQ) that determines if people will get ahead in life, not IQ. I haven’t read it yet, so I don’t know the full theory, but I plan to have it finished in a week or two.

There was a researcher back in the early 1900s that conducted tests on millions of elementary students and made a list of the ones he considered geniuses. His goal was to prove that IQ was the single biggest predictor of success. He then followed them throughout their adult life and kept track of their achievements and successes in life. By his own hand, he wrote that his hypothesis was wrong. At first, if one opened any newspaper and looked at winners of science fairs and contests, there would always be at least one of his “geniuses” on the list. But as life went on, they did not become the biggest successes, and the higher the IQ went didn’t necessarily correlate to an increase in success. A theory proposed by a different researcher, and generally endorsed, said that there is an IQ threshold that is “good enough” and as long as one was above that threshold (which was 120, although it may have been 130), they had an equal chance of winning a Nobel Prize (the example given, and results of the study) as anyone else. So a person with an IQ of 180 had an equal chance of winning a Nobel Prize as one with an IQ of 140.

It’s actually kind of funny to see the same pattern repeat itself over and over: “Trump can’t win the primary!” He did it. “Trump can’t say that!” He said it. “Trump can’t win the election!” He won it. “Trump can’t make an immigration ban!” He did it. “Trump can’t build a wall!” ….. He’s interested in getting stuff done for the country, to benefit the country, even when people don’t see it. And he couldn’t care less what people think. The way it’s going, he will get one or two major things done by midterm elections, and then Republicans will win bigly (or big-league, depending on your geirsa) and he’ll be able to accomplish even more with less opposition.

However, he is the most liberal GOP President since Eisenhower (as evidenced by proposed stimulus packages, childcare support, among other things), and he is most of all, a dealmaker. If democrats were to work with him instead of merely being loud obstacles, his plans would have much more input from the left, would possibly be tamed down a little, and democrats would even be able to pass some of their own agenda. But if they continue to merely obstruct and make controversy over every little thing that he is going to do anyway, they are going to find themselves in a major crisis in two years.

Maybe check out Sha’arei Arazim in Monsey, assuming it’s still around. It was built exactly for people like that.

huju: President Trump is aware of what it means. And in no way is he using it in the way it was used back in WWII. He redefined the phrase, and is using it in the way the phrase directly means. America before other countries. This is a statement that anyone vying to be our President should not have any qualms about saying.

lightbrite: What ground are you saying that on? As far as I can see, he simply made a campaign promise and intends on keeping it.

While there are specific acts and prayers that would certainly help with that, in Judaism we believe we are speaking directly to God in prayer, and in it we can ask whatever we want. So it might be best to simply ask for help for her at a point in Shemoneh Esrei.

B1g B0y: I’m not sure where you got that from.

Always speak in third person, always allow the Rabbi to take first anything (food, walking through a door, getting a sefer off a shelf, washing netilas yadayim etc.), when walking the Rabbi always walks in front of everyone (not always followed, but it is halacha and it should be), do anything the Rabbi makes a hint to or tries to do himself that one could do for him (if he gets up to get a sefer, get it for him), I’ll think of a few more.

Shoutout to the mods for a great caption!

Have you thought about taking your relationship with God outside of school? I was in a high school that didn’t work out for me, and I began to see that it was having a harmful effect on the rest of my life and my religion. I took it back by telling myself that my observance and life, is and will be, independant of my school. In school, I formed a kesher with the one Rabbi who understood me, and followed his guidance in what to do in many matters, and he made the politics going on in school much easier for me, and let me have my way over how everything was going to work with myself. Out of school, I attended local programs to build a better connection with God and reinforced into myself that my experience then was in no way proper Judaism and it does not reflect on the rest of the world. I did whatever I could to make the rest of my time there work, and then at the first opportunity, I got out of there.

It appears to me that you feel misunderstood and judged by your school and home. You get criticized for the smaller things in life, such as open buttons and hairstyles, and the bigger issue that you’re not happy where you are (and the like) are completely ignored by your school, your parents and others. It also sounds like you don’t feel like yourself at Bais Yaakov, and you put on a facade of a “Bais Yaakov Maidel,” just to get by and have friends. So it may be time to do what you can to carve out a proper life for yourself with appropriate (appropriate being relative) influences outside the Bais Yaakov “community.” Find a mentor that understands you, and you feel can guide you in the right direction. Surround yourself with friends that care for who you really are, and will help you create a proper life for yourself. Make sure you’re able to have your own world that will allow you to move on. Once you’re there, it will be much easier, and you’ll be able to take the next steps of going to a better place.

Or just make a quick search on YouTube for backing tracks.

lilmod ulelamaid: I hear your point, but I’d like to the following: Me back in high school would have said, and have said as follows: Why would I want to listen to this song (referring to an average Jewish song), which is merely a fake shadow of the original song, when it has a message I don’t really care to hear or relate to, and it’s ripoff of a song that was better overall, more skillfully produced, and sung with someone with a more beautiful voice, and the original has a meaning that I actually find relevant to my everyday life? The answer I found is that there really is no reason that on my level, I should. I may have been immature back then, but I still find it a valid question.

Here it makes a difference, if one district voted overwhelmingly for one candidate, they are very likely to help them in the future. Monsey will surely be rewarded for voting 90% for Trump, and I feel bad for Satmar.

lilmod ulelamaid: I believe there’s a difference here between in-town and out-of-town areas. In the tri-state area, it isn’t much accepted anywhere, and they don’t have as wide a backing. But in other areas of the country they have their Rabbis in almost every city where Jews are, and are widely recognized and followed. To better put it: in Yeshiva Orthodox, no one recognizes them, but outside of that Avi Weiss is very highly regarded, and people regard it as acceptable (at the least). The real danger lies in that people don’t see it as a problem.

I think making a halachic permission of nursing in shul goes beyond simply looking the other way. Same with recommending donations to rebuild a church and other ‘heterim.’ Also, by looking the other way, they are more or less condoning an action. ‘Celebrating’ toevah marriage isn’t far from endorsing it, but that is more difficult for them to permit because it is explicitly banned in the Torah.

I’m not sure if it’s halachically different than financial crimes, but I don’t see why it should be.

I thought it was that when someone becomes bar/bat mitzvah they get the Yetzer Tov, not the neshama. I’m pretty sure the Neshama comes at birth, that’s how we function.

Not to mix threads, but I heard today that the Novaminsker Rebbe said that Open Orthodoxy is the number one threat today.

lightbrite, I think I understand what you mean. It’s hard to understand how God could create such a challenge in a person that could never be actualized. But there’s an important difference between Open Orthodoxy and Orthodoxy. We ask what God wants out of us, they seem to say the opposite. Where they change halacha to suit themselves, we change ourselves to fit the Torah. Part of how we’re still around is because we never changed our religion to fit the world around us, the lesson not to do that is what we can take out of Chanukah. The other sects of Judaism (Reform, Conservative, etc.) that changed the religion are declining in numbers drastically, and a secular study shows that years in the future, Orthodoxy will be the only remaining functioning Jewish sect in America. To look elsewhere, l’havdil, the pope changed Catholicism to fit “modern times” and numbers are declining there, parishes are closing, and I heard from a Christian man just yesterday, that he’s destroying the religion. We cannot change religion to suit modern times, we must change our attitude towards it. I believe the question of homosexuality in Judaism to be a different discussion.

Shavua Tov!!

OK update: He was apparently only staying in the place where we were, although he will be at the shul I was at in two weeks or so. I did speak to him for five or ten minutes and I noticed as follows: He seems to be incredibly sincere about what he does, and really believes what he’s doing is correct. He is a very soft spoken individual, and he has a calming affect on people and really draws people in. He’s so soft spoken and easy going, it’s hard to have any strong emotions against him in person, which I have no doubt plays out to his advantage. We didn’t speak of anything to do with Open Orthodoxy or any hashkafa at all. It was kind of funny how after the conversation he used the elevator and had a non-Jew press the buttons.

I heard the following story from a Rosh Yeshiva and I think it accurately sums up a position on this:

There was a bochur in yeshiva who was rigid on that he would only marry/date an extremely attractive girl. He went on and on about this and it was becoming a big issue for him. All the rabbeim in his yeshiva were criticizing him and blasting him for it. Eventually it got to the point where he decided he would go to a Gadol, ask him the question, and follow whatever he said, convinced that he was right. The Rav I heard this from overheard the bochur telling his story & question to the gadol (I don’t fully remember which Gadol this was, although I’m 90% sure it was Rav Kamenetsky, possibly his father) from the next room. Rav Kamenetsky responded that it is important to marry someone he’s attracted to, and expounded on this, building the guy up to think he’s right, and all his rabbeim were wrong on it, at which point Rav Kamenetsky slammed his hand on the table, and said in a rather loud voice “…but you’re sick!!! And you’re going to be miserable!!”