Forum Replies Created
I just saw your first post, I wasn’t intending to insult anyone in any way, I should’ve written it clearer.
Yeah that was my assumption, that it’s permitted because there will never be any contact. I assume they asked Daas Torah before they created this, mods?
With some people it’s easy enough to tell that they’re not faking. My logic against it was that the general argument in favor of having a mixed chatroom is that no one will ever know who they’re talking to (although I do know who a few people here are), and this would corrode that, and ruin that potential heter.
I think the most significant problem with what he did was undermine the work the Jewish community is already doing on the issue. The proper people to take action are the askanim in our community who work day in and day out to ensure our safety and wellbeing. By asking an out of place, poorly phrased, insulting question, Turx made it much more difficult for those who can actually have an impact to take action.
I was under the impression both of you were women… It wouldn’t have crossed my mind otherwise.
I made the comment because I believe the two of you could be really good friends and have a positive influence on each other.
I’m not interested in opinions, as much as I am in the actual halacha. I’ve debated through it many times, and haven’t really gotten anywhere on it, because no one I was speaking to knew the hard text any more than I did.
It’s his style of talking. It’s not presidential, but neither is he.
I read through a bit more than half the thread, getting the important points on women learning gemara. It goes back and forth and there are arguments both ways, can someone post the actual text of the Shulchan Aruch or Rav Moshe’s Tshuvah in the original hebrew text?
I’m totally in favor of having the mods give you each other’s emails. Would that work/be halachically OK?
A picture is worth a thousand words.
lilmod ulelamaid: I just bought Daniel Goleman’s book called Emotional Intelligence. He outlays a theory like what you’re saying, and says that it’s emotional intelligence (EQ) that determines if people will get ahead in life, not IQ. I haven’t read it yet, so I don’t know the full theory, but I plan to have it finished in a week or two.February 2, 2017 12:04 am at 12:04 am in reply to: What does the closed comedian post have to do with me? #1213300
You guys are the #1 conspiracy people!
There was a researcher back in the early 1900s that conducted tests on millions of elementary students and made a list of the ones he considered geniuses. His goal was to prove that IQ was the single biggest predictor of success. He then followed them throughout their adult life and kept track of their achievements and successes in life. By his own hand, he wrote that his hypothesis was wrong. At first, if one opened any newspaper and looked at winners of science fairs and contests, there would always be at least one of his “geniuses” on the list. But as life went on, they did not become the biggest successes, and the higher the IQ went didn’t necessarily correlate to an increase in success. A theory proposed by a different researcher, and generally endorsed, said that there is an IQ threshold that is “good enough” and as long as one was above that threshold (which was 120, although it may have been 130), they had an equal chance of winning a Nobel Prize (the example given, and results of the study) as anyone else. So a person with an IQ of 180 had an equal chance of winning a Nobel Prize as one with an IQ of 140.
People can blast NCSY all they want, but I don’t see a Yeshiva Orthodox group reaching out to them and having a significant impact.
It’s actually kind of funny to see the same pattern repeat itself over and over: “Trump can’t win the primary!” He did it. “Trump can’t say that!” He said it. “Trump can’t win the election!” He won it. “Trump can’t make an immigration ban!” He did it. “Trump can’t build a wall!” ….. He’s interested in getting stuff done for the country, to benefit the country, even when people don’t see it. And he couldn’t care less what people think. The way it’s going, he will get one or two major things done by midterm elections, and then Republicans will win bigly (or big-league, depending on your geirsa) and he’ll be able to accomplish even more with less opposition.
However, he is the most liberal GOP President since Eisenhower (as evidenced by proposed stimulus packages, childcare support, among other things), and he is most of all, a dealmaker. If democrats were to work with him instead of merely being loud obstacles, his plans would have much more input from the left, would possibly be tamed down a little, and democrats would even be able to pass some of their own agenda. But if they continue to merely obstruct and make controversy over every little thing that he is going to do anyway, they are going to find themselves in a major crisis in two years.
mw13: To bring an example: ISIS is in Iraq, therefore it makes sense to place a temporary ban on the area until a more extensive solution is in place. Many, many of the people in those countries would like to kill every one of us, I don’t see how you can defend them. They yell “Death to America” in the streets, and would love to actualize that. In my opinion, this ban wasn’t nearly comprehensive enough, hopefully after this one ends, he’ll put a more effective solution in place. But this is certainly a step in the right direction.
Maybe check out Sha’arei Arazim in Monsey, assuming it’s still around. It was built exactly for people like that.
Anyone with common sense back then was aware that Jews are none of that. Whereas anyone with common sense now, knows that Islamic terrorism is a danger. You place too much emphasis on emotional logic, rather than intellectual facts. We were no harm to the US, on the contrary, immigrant Jews worked hard for a living and contributed their part. Islamic refugees are paid for by you and me, and many of them (especially ISIS) would also quite enjoy seeing the death, if not killing, you and me. Before anyone responds that it isn’t ISIS, it has been seen again and again both in Europe and the US, that among the refugees are ISIS and other radical Islamic terrorists.
I don’t believe you are self-hating, I think it might be beneficial for you to think more with the facts, and less with emotional reaction.
huju: President Trump is aware of what it means. And in no way is he using it in the way it was used back in WWII. He redefined the phrase, and is using it in the way the phrase directly means. America before other countries. This is a statement that anyone vying to be our President should not have any qualms about saying.
The important part is that whatever side of the political spectrum one is on, for him/her to get a variety. There is bias on both sides of the media, and in order to make sense out of all the confusion, one must hear both sides of the issues. This is why the media figure I perhaps have the most respect for is Chris Wallace (he hosted the third Presidential Debate), who is a Democrat who works at Fox News. That way he hears both sides of everything, the liberal from his beliefs and sources, and the conservative from his workplace. This allowed him to run a fair, and unbiased debate, because he was able to ask from points of view held by opposite sides of the spectrum. The other important thing is awareness. News should rarely be taken as fact to be left unquestioned, it should be analyzed and run through one’s own mind for him/her to see if it makes sense, or is perhaps biased.
Personally, I read the Wall Street Journal every day, Apple News and Flipboard for variety, and Fox News and Drudge Report for casual getting the news.
lightbrite: What ground are you saying that on? As far as I can see, he simply made a campaign promise and intends on keeping it.
mw13: One of the primary differences between this and WWII was that there was no concern at all that Jews were terrorists and were interested in destroying America, as opposed to people in many of these countries that were blocked who want just that.
It’s true that this ban is not comprehensive, and will not stop determined terrorists and may provoke additional action and hate from Islamic groups. Personally, I think this should have been a much wider ban, and more specific towards Radical Islam in nature. But it’s a start. The impression I got from this was that it is a temporary halt in immigration from those areas to allow time for the creation of a broader policy that will be much more effective. The refugee program will be overhauled, placing a higher priority on those who were persecuted for their religion in those countries, primarily Christians and Jews. Anyone following the news in Germany and broader Europe now can see that they have a massive crisis on their hands. There are a million ‘refugees’ in Germany alone, and we are only beginning to see the extent of the damage they will cause. Trump is right in wanting America to be safe and secure, without people having to worry every time they walk down the street, without having to worry that ISIS is sending operatives here through our own refugee program. I don’t think this is an effective or efficient way to do things, but hopefully the plan he comes up with will keep us safe.
While there are specific acts and prayers that would certainly help with that, in Judaism we believe we are speaking directly to God in prayer, and in it we can ask whatever we want. So it might be best to simply ask for help for her at a point in Shemoneh Esrei.
I’ve found that in order to have an accurate picture of what’s going on with him, without an immense bias, it requires actively checking and reading the right places. When I see what’s actually going on, and read intellectual news, as opposed to emotional news, it is considerably more normal, to say the least.January 27, 2017 1:47 pm at 1:47 pm in reply to: What are the manners in Yeshiva between rabbi and student? #1212984
B1g B0y: I’m not sure where you got that from.
Always speak in third person, always allow the Rabbi to take first anything (food, walking through a door, getting a sefer off a shelf, washing netilas yadayim etc.), when walking the Rabbi always walks in front of everyone (not always followed, but it is halacha and it should be), do anything the Rabbi makes a hint to or tries to do himself that one could do for him (if he gets up to get a sefer, get it for him), I’ll think of a few more.
I think it would be better to weigh the potential shidduch on his own merit, and as his own person, than by applying generalizations from a group of thousands.
Shoutout to the mods for a great caption!
Syag Lchochma: If you ever want to help someone who isn’t, or wasn’t, happy, criticism is never the way to go, acceptance and love does ten times more. If someone shares something personal, blasting them about something you find wrong is not the way to go.
Have you thought about taking your relationship with God outside of school? I was in a high school that didn’t work out for me, and I began to see that it was having a harmful effect on the rest of my life and my religion. I took it back by telling myself that my observance and life, is and will be, independant of my school. In school, I formed a kesher with the one Rabbi who understood me, and followed his guidance in what to do in many matters, and he made the politics going on in school much easier for me, and let me have my way over how everything was going to work with myself. Out of school, I attended local programs to build a better connection with God and reinforced into myself that my experience then was in no way proper Judaism and it does not reflect on the rest of the world. I did whatever I could to make the rest of my time there work, and then at the first opportunity, I got out of there.
It appears to me that you feel misunderstood and judged by your school and home. You get criticized for the smaller things in life, such as open buttons and hairstyles, and the bigger issue that you’re not happy where you are (and the like) are completely ignored by your school, your parents and others. It also sounds like you don’t feel like yourself at Bais Yaakov, and you put on a facade of a “Bais Yaakov Maidel,” just to get by and have friends. So it may be time to do what you can to carve out a proper life for yourself with appropriate (appropriate being relative) influences outside the Bais Yaakov “community.” Find a mentor that understands you, and you feel can guide you in the right direction. Surround yourself with friends that care for who you really are, and will help you create a proper life for yourself. Make sure you’re able to have your own world that will allow you to move on. Once you’re there, it will be much easier, and you’ll be able to take the next steps of going to a better place.
There was a known molester that moved into our community, and the psak was that it was 100% permitted to tell people, not only that, but it was spread with signs and emails to the whole community. The end scenario was that someone bought his house at a premium and told him to get out, which he did.January 26, 2017 1:37 am at 1:37 am in reply to: Gemach of background music for aspiring Jewish musicians #1211206
Or just make a quick search on YouTube for backing tracks.
If you’re at a point in life where you’re holding of not talking to guys, there is no difference if he’s your neighbor or not. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but challenges help grow us as people. Do you consider yourself at the point in life where you’re holding by doing this?
lilmod ulelamaid: I hear your point, but I’d like to the following: Me back in high school would have said, and have said as follows: Why would I want to listen to this song (referring to an average Jewish song), which is merely a fake shadow of the original song, when it has a message I don’t really care to hear or relate to, and it’s ripoff of a song that was better overall, more skillfully produced, and sung with someone with a more beautiful voice, and the original has a meaning that I actually find relevant to my everyday life? The answer I found is that there really is no reason that on my level, I should. I may have been immature back then, but I still find it a valid question.
Nevermind whether it’s permissible, is it hashkafically appropriate?
Here it makes a difference, if one district voted overwhelmingly for one candidate, they are very likely to help them in the future. Monsey will surely be rewarded for voting 90% for Trump, and I feel bad for Satmar.
In Mordechai Shapiro’s new song Schar Mitzvah, almost everything but the high part is copied from a kol isha non-Jewish song, but I doubt the mods want me naming it.January 16, 2017 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm in reply to: The #1 tragedy facing the Frum world in America is: #1209527
lilmod ulelamaid: I believe there’s a difference here between in-town and out-of-town areas. In the tri-state area, it isn’t much accepted anywhere, and they don’t have as wide a backing. But in other areas of the country they have their Rabbis in almost every city where Jews are, and are widely recognized and followed. To better put it: in Yeshiva Orthodox, no one recognizes them, but outside of that Avi Weiss is very highly regarded, and people regard it as acceptable (at the least). The real danger lies in that people don’t see it as a problem.
Shmiras Haloshon: I believe so, yes.
rebshidduch: Was there a teacher in seminary (assuming you went) or in high school that you were close to?
I think making a halachic permission of nursing in shul goes beyond simply looking the other way. Same with recommending donations to rebuild a church and other ‘heterim.’ Also, by looking the other way, they are more or less condoning an action. ‘Celebrating’ toevah marriage isn’t far from endorsing it, but that is more difficult for them to permit because it is explicitly banned in the Torah.
I’m not sure if it’s halachically different than financial crimes, but I don’t see why it should be.
Give me a few years 😛
I thought it was that when someone becomes bar/bat mitzvah they get the Yetzer Tov, not the neshama. I’m pretty sure the Neshama comes at birth, that’s how we function.
It’s interesting how it’s 70 nations exactly. Hmmmm.January 16, 2017 1:54 am at 1:54 am in reply to: The #1 tragedy facing the Frum world in America is: #1209521
Not to mix threads, but I heard today that the Novaminsker Rebbe said that Open Orthodoxy is the number one threat today.
rebshidduch: That’s why it’s important for everyone to have a Rav or a mentor they can turn to for these types of questions.
lightbrite, I think I understand what you mean. It’s hard to understand how God could create such a challenge in a person that could never be actualized. But there’s an important difference between Open Orthodoxy and Orthodoxy. We ask what God wants out of us, they seem to say the opposite. Where they change halacha to suit themselves, we change ourselves to fit the Torah. Part of how we’re still around is because we never changed our religion to fit the world around us, the lesson not to do that is what we can take out of Chanukah. The other sects of Judaism (Reform, Conservative, etc.) that changed the religion are declining in numbers drastically, and a secular study shows that years in the future, Orthodoxy will be the only remaining functioning Jewish sect in America. To look elsewhere, l’havdil, the pope changed Catholicism to fit “modern times” and numbers are declining there, parishes are closing, and I heard from a Christian man just yesterday, that he’s destroying the religion. We cannot change religion to suit modern times, we must change our attitude towards it. I believe the question of homosexuality in Judaism to be a different discussion.
Thank you, lightbrite! 🙂
The non-Jew was the receptionist at the condominium complex we were staying at. I’m unaware how Avi Weiss asked him, or hinted to him to open it, so I can’t say. I simply turned around and saw him press the button for him. Regardless of pressing the buttons, there are two other major problems with going in the elevator: the first is that the extra weight in the elevator makes the machinery work harder, and the second is the automatic sensor on the elevator door. Besides that, there’s probably a problem of muktzah. I saw a noted sfardi posek (I don’t remember who, but he’s a household name) however, that said going on an escalator on shabbos is permitted.
OK update: He was apparently only staying in the place where we were, although he will be at the shul I was at in two weeks or so. I did speak to him for five or ten minutes and I noticed as follows: He seems to be incredibly sincere about what he does, and really believes what he’s doing is correct. He is a very soft spoken individual, and he has a calming affect on people and really draws people in. He’s so soft spoken and easy going, it’s hard to have any strong emotions against him in person, which I have no doubt plays out to his advantage. We didn’t speak of anything to do with Open Orthodoxy or any hashkafa at all. It was kind of funny how after the conversation he used the elevator and had a non-Jew press the buttons.
I’m in a Modern Orthodox (my definition here is that they self-identify as such) shul in the Boca Raton/Palm Beach area for Shabbos this week, and Avi Weiss is here for shabbos (note this is not his shul, I learn in a Yeshiva and would never go to such a place). We asked a shaila to the Yeshiva Mashgiach as to what to what to do here, and he said to treat him as the average person there treats him. We were told not to go out of our way to respect him, or (importantly) to disrespect him. He will most probably be giving a speech sometime over Shabbos. (For those of you who are wondering, he is at this shul because the person who pays for the full operation is a huge supporter of his, and money is the key to everything. It’s complicated.) I’ll update everyone as to what happens, or what he says after Shabbos. Have a Good Shabbos everyone!!
I heard the following story from a Rosh Yeshiva and I think it accurately sums up a position on this:
There was a bochur in yeshiva who was rigid on that he would only marry/date an extremely attractive girl. He went on and on about this and it was becoming a big issue for him. All the rabbeim in his yeshiva were criticizing him and blasting him for it. Eventually it got to the point where he decided he would go to a Gadol, ask him the question, and follow whatever he said, convinced that he was right. The Rav I heard this from overheard the bochur telling his story & question to the gadol (I don’t fully remember which Gadol this was, although I’m 90% sure it was Rav Kamenetsky, possibly his father) from the next room. Rav Kamenetsky responded that it is important to marry someone he’s attracted to, and expounded on this, building the guy up to think he’s right, and all his rabbeim were wrong on it, at which point Rav Kamenetsky slammed his hand on the table, and said in a rather loud voice “…but you’re sick!!! And you’re going to be miserable!!”