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Hashem is reading: “hm. could be. but I’ve always found more bashment (made up word) than encouragement.”
Hashem is reading:”I don’t know. I feel like whenever I’m reading through threads I just feel like yelling at everyone to just chill out. relax! stop harping on everything, stop attacking everyone, be a little open minded!”
That’s exactly why I do the plussing thing. In order to counteract the bashing. When I’m upset about being bashed by CR people, I feel better if I try to make others feel good. I feel good if people plus me, so I assume that others feel the same. And I thought I saw an old thread encouraging posters to do so.
But if there is anyone who doesn’t want to be plussed, please let me know and I will happy to put you on my “Please Don’t Plus” list.
+ 1 google
Hashem is Reading – if you really want to do that, imho, the best way to do so is by getting rid of the internet before you get married.
But without a name of course.
“Though I can counter that those exceptions also have reasons for example I believe the past tense of bring is brought since it is of germanic origin past tense being bracht or someting like that which in Engligh became brought much like nacht became night.”
That really wouldn’t help someone learning to speak English, unless he already knows German.
I think that is actually the reason that English is so confusing – the fact that it is based on so many different languages.
As opposed to Lashon Hakodesh which came straight from Hashem.
I agree with you Golfer that Hebrew is much easier to learn than english is. I don’t remember from when I learned to read, but I have taught kids to read both languages and I found it much easier to teach hebrew.
Hashem is reading: “oh wow. I didn’t realize. I love how sheltered I am. I had no idea it was a facebook thing.”
lol, I was about to say the same thing! I thought it was a CR thing, invented by CR posters or moderators.
Litvos – +1 million! Oh sorry, I meant to say: I agree, great post. (sorry Meno, but that doesn’t sound so appropriate in this case 🙂 – I think that + 1 million says it the best. What do you think, Litvos?)
True.
I agree that people should be themselves. I was very disturbed by the OP, personally. If a girl uses certain terms, it’s going to be assumed that she is trying to impress the boy??!! That sounds so ridiculous and judgmental to me. Maybe those words are part of her vocabulary. And now if either she or someone similar read this thread, they will feel like they have to be careful to davka NOT use those words on a date.
And honestly, I find it hard to believe that she davka used those words to impress the boy. Girls don’t usually try to sound more intellectual than they are in order to impress boys. The problem is usually the opposite – that girls are sometimes made to feel like they have to pretend to be less intellectual than they are.
Obviously people have to be realistic and normal and socially appropriate, and sometimes this can mean not overly-stressing certain aspects of themselves. L’maaseh we all do that all the time even though we are not necessarily aware of it. That is what basic social skills are about – not just saying everything you are thinking, and knowing when it’s appropriate to talk about what.
But at the same time, there is a limit. And if a person normally uses certain terms in their conversation, they shouldn’t feel like they can’t do so on a date because they will sound too intellectual. A girl like that needs a guy who will appreciate an intellectual girl.
And I don’t get what’s wrong with reminding him to daven Mincha. I would think that most guys would appreciate such a reminder, assuming it was given in a nice way. And if he doesn’t, he probably is not worthy of a girl like her.
But then again, I wasn’t there. And maybe the problem with both things (the terminology and the Mincha) was the way they were done.
“Only if you’re thinking what Joseph is thinking”
I think you must have meant Meno – he’s the expert at figuring out everyone’s secret identities.
“????? ?????? ????? ????”
Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?
(I apologize if I didn’t get the quote exactly right).
LB – +1 (on the post from 6 hours ago).
btw, I think that next time you quote “someone”, it’s better if you give us an idea as to who the someone is (random person online vs. my LOR or a shiur on Torah Anytime,etc.) While these are all “someones” there is a difference between them.
LF: “You can ask someone on the CR to ask a Rebbitzen to ask her husband.
You can ask on the CR, and a Rav will see it and answer in class…”
LIQ (not quite funny enough for a LOLQ, sorry).
“A rebbitzen should at least know enough to know whether a rav should be asked, so for tznius a woman should talk to a rebbitzen first.”
I am not sure that I agree with this statement. There is nothing wrong with a girl asking a sheilah to a Rav, and you can never assume that if you ask a Rebbetzin and she is not qualified to answer, she will tell you so.
I have had some bad experiences when I was forced to ask a Rebbetzin as a go-between to her husband (since she was screening his calls), and she thought that she was qualified to answer even though she wasn’t.
As one of my Rabbeim told his daughter who thought that she was qualified to answer sheilahs on the basis of being his daughter: “Would you ask a medical question to the doctor’s wife or daughter?”
Even if the term “Rebbetzin” is being used here to refer to a woman who is learned and wise (as opposed to meaning “the wife of a Rabbi”), I would still try to avoid asking questions to someone who is not qualified to answer.
Most people (even very wise ones) do try to answer questions posed to them even if they are not qualified to do so. This is either because it is human nature to want to help and/or to find it hard to admit that you can’t, or because they are assuming that if you are asking them, you have no one better to ask.
So it is YOUR responsibility to try (to the best of your ability) to figure out who the best person is to ask this particular question to before you ask. And there may be a certain amount of trial and error involved.
LF – what if I was the only one in the house at the time? Or is this in the same category as being dressed tzniusly which you have to do even if you’re by yourself since Hashem is always there?
What if I LOLQed? Would that be okay? I really don’t think I laugh that loud. And your joke post really wasn’t THAT funny – just funny enough for a LOLQ.
LB, WTP, and Shopping: +1!
WTP: “So many people (me included) complain about parts of their lives and want to change it, but never actually do anything about it”
So true.
JA – so good to hear from you!! We hadn’t heard from you in a while, and I was starting to worry.
I’m so glad you started going to this therapist. Kol hakavod!! You are really courageous.
I can understand why it’s annoying that it’s through your parents. I would also find that difficult. But try to remind yourself that you are doing this for yourself and not for your parents.
It really takes a lot of guts to do this. I am very impressed and also very happy that you are going, and that it sounds like it went well.
Hatzlacha!
So guess who took her phone with her to Yerushalayim today and lost it on the way? Maybe it’s not such a good idea to take my phone with me everywhere after all.
Boruch Hashem, came home to find a note from my mother with the name and number of the person who found it. So all’s well, B”H!
I guess the person who found my phone was smart enough to look up “Ima” in my contact list.
Lesschumras – that is neither nice nor fair. There are many things that we do that have a basis in halacha or minhag that sound crazy. How should LB know which things are legitimate and which aren’t?
And I don’t think this had anything to do with superstition. My understanding was that it was meant as a practical suggestion for keeping shmiras ha’ayin. If you were going to make that comment, this was not the place for it.
I googled it, and it’s actually a real place!! It’s in Germany. Did you know that, RebYidd? I thought you were joking.
I couldn’t find anything about their music though. But I’m not sure if I searched for a full 64 seconds, as I didn’t actually time it.
LB – I wonder if they expected each person to check his own fruit? At my friend’s Seudah, she put out the fruit without checking it and expected each person to check his own. But it’s possible that a shul function is different. I don’t know.
LB – I was thinking of writing that suggestion as well, but I was concerned that it could make it sound like she is spacy. But if she changes the conversation right away, she may be able to pull it off. Whichever response she chooses, changing the conversation right away is a good idea.
LB – This post of mine took a long time to get moderated (and m/w many posts below it were moderated), so you may not have seen it. It actually was written before the post after it which was moderated first. (in this case I don’t think the order mattered so much, but sometimes, the meaning of my posts gets a little bit lost when the posts are out of order).
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/regression-to-past-life#post-646850
Golger – +1
NCB- I was referring to this:
lol.
DY – thanks for the vote of confidence. Yeah, that wouldn’t make too much sense.
Anyhow, I’m not actually teaching in a regular seminary at the moment. I just try to avoid giving too many details about what I’ve done when.
Anyone answering this question should be careful about loshon hara issues. Comparing schools can be loshon hora. Even though there is toeles, that is only the case for the specific person, and does not make it okay on such a public forum.
I don’t know anything about the Tallis issue. And who is Duvid Chaim? I heard of Chaim Dovid and Chaim Yisroel, but not Duvid Chaim.
I’m assuming the issue is that the nurse may not be dressed tzniusly.
My feeling is that the issue is not so much about whether or not he will have a hard time guarding his eyes later on, but about the fact that everything one sees even as a baby is stored in his mind on some level.
It sounds like a good idea to me in theory IF the person in question is really holding by this. You would only be holding by this if you thought of it yourself because the idea of your baby seeing someone untzniusly dressed repelled you and because you yourself are super-careful about tznius.
If neither of those things are the case, I would be concerned that this comes from an unhealthy place.
LF -lol, literally.
Halacha sheilas should generally go to a Rav. There are almost no women who are qualifed to answer halacha sheilas, since there are very few women in the world who have even studied halacha from the sources. And it is doubtful if any of the Rebbetzins you know have.
For personal issues, it’s generally better to speak to a Rebbetzin.
For hashkafa – either one. If it’s a question that’s more personal and requires someone with intution and sensitivity, a Rebbetzin might be better. If it’s a question that’s more intellectual and non-personal, a Rav might be better. But both of those last statements are generalizations, and it would depend on the Rav and Rebbetzin in question.
Joseph – that was during the time of Haskala. I’m not sure what point you are trying to make?
You sound really Jewish already! And quite knowledgeable about Frum lingo. Which is actually pretty important in terms of fitting into the community.
I’m impressed.
Hi there! I was wondering. I thought you said once that you’re single (am I remembering correctly?) – so I was trying to figure out why you would bump a thread about protecting your kids from the internet.
+1,000
Her teacher probably told her that she has to look into it (i.e. ask her husband).
+ 1,000!
Once you reach a certain age, you get to decide which rules you want to keep and which ones you don’t.
+1,000
Geordie -lol.
“curious as to why you always ask me why I bump specific threads?:) does it always have to be for a reason??”
Something like this?? Yes, it does!!!
I’m wondering what your thoughts are on this topic – I’m assuming you must have some, if you bumped this.
“An aversion to secular studies is one of the defining practical characteristics of charedi Jewry today. IT is not something that always existed.”
My point is that an aversion to secular studies is not one of the “defining characteristics of chareidi Jewry today.”
I don’t even think it’s a characteristic of Chareidi Judaism at all. A desire to remain unaffected by secular influence is a defining characteristic of Chareidi Judaism. Likewise, a desire that boys not be mevatel Torah is a defining characteristic of Chareidi Judaism.
Someone can be very into secular learning and consider himself Chareidi and be part of the Chareidi world and no one would say, “He’s not Chareidi because he is into secular learning”.
“what I meant was that you were right in identifying a change in charedi Judaism (kudos to you, many will insist it was always this way)”
I should just qualify my original post by saying that my knowledge of history is lacking, and I was making an assumption based on various things I’ve heard, but I really don’t know what was going on in pre-haskala times.
I also didn’t necessarily mean to compare to pre-haskala times per se’ – I just meant that during the haskala and then later, during zionist times, some of the attitudes were based on trying to stay away from haskala or zionistic influence. But I can’t really compare to the attitudes towards secular learning in prior times, since I know nothing about what was going on then.
If you are talking about college education, I don’t think that Frum Jews were attending college 500 years ago. And if you are talking about informal secular education, most Chareidim are not against that. I went to Chareidi schools and lived in Chareidi communities, and I was always taught to value secular education, and most people I know think that knowledge is a very valuable thing. Of course, it shouldn’t be at the expense of Torah or Torah hashkafa, but that is something else.
“He wasn’t against Michlalah because of the secular studies.”
“Have you read it? I’ll be happy to provide quotes later.”
Not recently, and I may not have read the same ones that you read. I think he has several. It certainly wasn’t the only reason he was against Michlalah. For one thing, you can go to Michlalah and not study secular studies. Also, what I think I remember was something about the way they teach Limudei Kodesh. In any case, I’d be happy to see it.
Litvos – lol. Are you you sure you aren’t Jewish yet?
LF – lol.
I think it’s also important to point out that not everything is clear-cut in Judaism. There is room for different opinions. Of course sometimes, there is not. But other times there is. So it can be very confusing.
That’s why it’s good to find Rabbanim whom you can basically trust. Although outside of the Gedolei Hador, you shouldn’t blindly trust and accept every single thing that someone says. Unless it’s a clear-cut halachic matter.
But it will take time until you figure out who you can basically trust.
I still recommend that you check out Rav Leff’s website and listen to his shiurim if you haven’t already.
LB – I think you once asked for reliable websites for Torah shiurim, and I listed a bunch, and it’s possible that this website was on the list.
I don’t remember if I qualified my recommendations or not, but just in case , I will do so now.
I can’t guarantee that every shiur on every website I listed is 100% fine (hey, I can’t even guarantee that everything I say in every shiur I give is 100% fine!). I am not even personally familiar with all the websites I listed.
But I think they were all websites that I had reasonable reason to believe were basically fine. And they seemed to be amongst the best ones out there (from my somewhat limited knowledge).
But that doesn’t mean that everything that every Rav or Rebbetzin says in every shiur on any of those websites is necessarily 100% emes.
“Just to let everyone here know-I hate cholent”
That’s fine – Hashem loves you just as much. And you can still become the Gadol Hador even without eating cholent. Or the wife of the Gadol Hador or the mother of the Gadol Hador.
Shopping – It’s possible that there could be something to it (no idea- never heard such a thing before), but IF there is, it’s some kind of kabbalistic concept with a much deeper meaning, and not meant to be taken in any kind of literal way. And not something that we should be concerning ourselves with, especially if we have no idea what the deeper meaning is and are unlikely to ever understand it. AND we don’t even have a source and have no clue if there’s even any truth to it.
At least that’s how it seems to me, but I could be wrong.
Daas Yochid: “I think some people think that means only one username per post.”
And here I always thought it was one username per thread. Lesschumras is right – it’s not kidai to be extra machmir.
“Or invest your money with someone who says he’s… a prince from Nigeria?”
Daas Yochid: “I don’t recommend that. I had a bad experience once…”
lol. literally.
Well you were complaining that your voice isn’t heard enough around here, so we wanted to give you an opportunity…
Sheesh, SOME people (or frogs) are never happy…….
“Read Rav Shach’s Michtavim Umamarim (for example regarding Michlala)”
He wasn’t against Michlalah because of the secular studies.
“that is an understatement. The charedi world in EY has been militantly (at times literally) opposed to secular studies.”
That’s not completely true. The boys have secular studies in elementary school, and the girls have throughout elementary and high school and three years of post-high-school. Nowadays, even the most Chareidi Bais Yaakov high school in Yerushalayim gives some bogrut (yeah, I was also surprised when I found that out recently). This would seem to show that the main issue with secular studies is bitul Torah (since that is the only good explanation as to why it is not considered a problem for the girls).
Also, it is not SO different in EY than in the US. In the US, the more Yeshivish Yeshivas usually do not have limudei chol either (at least in Lakewood), and in elementary school, the limudei chol is also limited to 2 hours a day (fairly similar to most Chadarim in EY).
“you kind of hit the nail on the head, but then dont follow through.”
Not sure what you mean by that. My whole point was that these types of things do not define Chareidiism any more than whether one drives a car or rides a horse to get to Shul.
That’s strange – why did Ubiquitin’s last post disappear – I wanted to respond to it! Is he editing it?
Hey, we have something in common – I skipped first also. And I also made up what I missed by learning with my mother over the summer. But I only skipped hebrew, not english for First Grade. The english teacher refused to skip me because of my handwriting. I had to skip Third Grade english to even things out.
I would qualify for neither of the above jobs, but I don’t think it has too much to do with my skipping Third Grade.
This:
“A rabbi in a Torah Anytime shiur did it and said that we should try it”
does not necessarily mean this:
“There must be some way that it’s kosher and that’s why I asked because I want to understand”
Not everything that every Rabbi in every shiur says is Toras Moshe.