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What kind of girl is she? I would say YU type does not go straight to hashgafa and life goals etc on the second date. Unless you plan to date for a few short weeks before getting engaged? Ask her about her job/school background. What she likes to do in the summers, camps etc.
Sometimes it can be very awkward, that is just a part of dating sometimes. Not always. But think about it you are sitting with someone you pretty much dont know from a hole in the wall, and expected to shmooze for 2 hours. It can be awkward!
B’hatzlacha!
Lots and lots of water.
I go every year to the zoo and I have never seen any yidden buying food for the animals. Interesting! I wonder how many CR people will bump into each other next week at the zoo:)
The fact that so many people did not realize the the OP misspelled know and right on purpose…boggles my mind!
The beis yaakov in kew gardens happens to be fantastic. They spend a great deal of time teaching math skills, grammar, spelling etc. Lets not generalize.
I agree though texting definitely has had an impact. My friend texted me yesterday saying, ” So in the end where your being for first days?” This is NOT English. Obviously i am not a fool and i can understand what she was asking, but every time she texts me something like this it drives me up a wall!
If only!
Why they cater to those who eat it or don’t?
I have a semi similar situation and I often feel at odds with what to do. I grew up pretty modern, always keeping shabbos and kashrus but you know, wearing pants and going to a coed yeshiva high school. When I becameore frum over the course of a few years my mother was thrilled and so proud, ( even though she still wears pants and does her own thing, she actually got a sheital for my wedding). Anyway my father, who btw learns everyday and never ever misses a minyan, is very (anti) charedi. I always say thank goodness I’m the girl because my father woul never have bought a sheital for my wife. My husband always tries to show respect for my father, they have a great relationship. But at times they are at odds, usually over shabbos table discussions and lately my husband finds it hard to bite his tongue. My father thinks that it is crazy the way bochurim and or charedim hold the gedolim to such a high level and that it is cult like. My husband gets very offended and has to literally cover his mouth so as not to speak out. They have wildly different views on israel. My father says it is better to not keep shabbos but to live in israel, then to live here and be charedi. Obviously my father would never break shabbos but you get my point. Sometimes I find myself arguing with my father and I know I am being distespectful but I just can’t handle it. I am trying though. I find that when I change the subject or leave the room for a minute all settles down. I would like to find a better solution.
I don’t think anyone said that behavior should be given a pass. Not sure if you were talking about my posts but I didn’t say it was a good thing that so many girls start wearing pants and “hanging” out with boys. My point was the opposite. But not all the girls come from very MO background which still are good people and frum people. There is such a negative attitude hear towards MO it makes me really sad.
Agree to disagree.
Every yeshiva has guys that are as you say off the beaten path. Of all the friends of my husband of my friends husbands that I know, I would way prefer shor yoshuv guys for the most part. They actually had a taste of the real world and in a sense chose this great path. Of the men j have met who are learning full time in Lakewood and I am not trying to say that isn’t a good thing, but they cannot carry an educated discussion or argument the way others can. I also find that since they are 100% supported as opposed to just helped, they are very entitled. My friend and her husband have a cleaning lady once a week my friend gets her sheital done every other, they shop all the time as do their friends who are on ther parents dollar. I don’t know any shor yoshuv families like that and I know many.
It definitely prepares you for independent life more than a school where you are living at home. This is just my opinion.
!! 6 flags great adventure! or the bronx zoo is great if its warm out.
Agree with zahavasdad. I bH have a job but am not making anything close to allowing me to pay off my loans anytime soon. Honestly though the majority of my friends and my husbands friends parents paid their tuition or loans, I have to pay mine so my case is not that of everyone. If I could do it again I would choose less debt.
On a different note.. I have a few friends from stern who went on to marry Lakewood boys who are currently living in Lakewood and had no issues with shidduch. The majority of girls I know/knew were not looking for that type of boy, and we’re looking for someone who was working at least part time. I know of girls who went to touro who marry lakewood type, or shor yoshuv boys I find that most stern girls like the YU type. (not me)
Nope it’s 42,000 a year. I have the loans to prove it!
Glad I could help!!
We didn’t sneak in! It was open it was not like that at all but I hear what you are saying. So as far as shidduchim go, I had no problems bH but I guess it depends on what type of boy she will be looking for. I don’t think it is as influential? As some may think. In the sense that if she grew up a relaxed but good bais yaakov girl she will make good friends and not follow some of the less religious trends. A lot of girls end up deciding to move to the upper west side, wear pants, befriend boys, just become very modern but you also have girls who do not change drastically and instead grow exponentially. I think it’s a great school with a higher standard of education that if anything should look great for shidduchim.
Stuck. Even 1 is too many. And it is not anti religious people spreading this anti Mbp business around. It did happen it is a huge tragedy. There just need to be safe guards in place. Not everyone knows apparently when they have an open sore, so does that mean oh well it only happens so infrequently lets not even give it a second glance? No. Not to the family of the baby/ies who lost their lives.
Yeah they were more strict about the guys going to/near the girls party. I was not trying to knock YU or stern I did very well there. Happens to be a great school.
Now one in the heights and one is in midtown. I’m not trying to say that is such a bad thing there are many modern people there but it’s not for everyone .
The actual dancing was in separate places but 2 years in a row all my girl Friends and myself went into the boys party and there was Nosh set up for everyone to take. Me and my roommate were dating two YU boys I remember it like it was yesterday. We’re u in stern with me? Did u go there for 4 years as well?
I went there and had a pretty good experience. There are all sorts of girls there for sure, it is a very modem scene though which at the time was ok for me. The majority of events well I shouldn’t say that, but many are mixed with YU boy and stern girls. They recently stopped havin a shared Purim chagiga now it is on separate campuses. Again for me it was fine I loved the classes, they are a bit small though but teachers were great. On the job going to a school like YU or stern fares better then let’s say touro or queens college. I did find however after being in yeshivas my whole life that i just wanted to do college and having to fulfill so many Jewish requirements was very time consuming. I also had to take a Gemara class which I’m sure many bais yaakov girls parents will not be on board with. Any other questions?
What makes you think the winner is Jewish? I saw his picture his last name is Horner.
I don’t do it for the thank you ever. It is just good midos to say thank you and it’s gross not I. Zehu.
I have noticed this as well, in monsey more than anywhere else. I dress I guess you would call it yeshivishe? I get stares like nobody’s business that upsets me more. When I hold the door at the clothing shops in Monsey and I don’t even get eye contact I give a loud you’re welcome! Usually gets me a shocked stare. What bothers me the MOST is that when I hold the door for goyim or my Hispanic maintenance worker at work I get thanks and gratitude and smiles. What is the deal? I almost make a point of smiling at anyone who looks at me an thank them that is how I will teach my kids atleast.
Interesting post op!
Whoops I meant he was convicted last week those murders happened last year.
How about the fact that last week or the week before a 17 year ok black boy/man shot and killed two homo sexual men when they were on vacation and stumbled into the wrong part of own. This is nowhere to be found I found a glimpse of it on Fox buried not front page. If the 2 men had been black and the 17 year old a white male oh boy. I’m so sick of this country and the way it has become so hostile.
He is NOT Jewish but agreed I’m sure MANY people are assumin he is. I don’t even think he is guilty of anything but still stinks that he sounds so Jewish.
Agreed.it is so frustrating watching the mainstream media crucify Zimmerman this way. If this was a hate crime which I do not believe it was, then he should be prosecuted to the full extent. But looking at the facts I just don’t buy it. The eye witness gave their statement the night of the shooting, it is not as though they came out last week and said what they saw. Zimmerman gave his statement that night as well and the police report said eye witness statement corroborated his statement. Yes Martin has on him only candy and a drink, that has nothing to do with it. Zimmerman had a legal gun. The eye witness saw him being beaten on the ground. Police report him having a bloodied face , broken nose, and contusion on the back of his head. If I had a legal gun on me for whatever reason and I felt I was face to face with danger and being hurt I would not hesitate to protect myself.
Any mohel doing Mbp needs to get checked by a doctor atleast bi annually and present a clean bill of health to his “clients”. This is the only way it is safe.
It is the husbands job to be extra sensitive and to know that even if his wife yells at him and overreacts about little things, she is chock full of hormones. When you are pregnant your body is not your own ( trust me). It is a beautiful thing. Many women however myself included, feel very self conscious about their changing bodies and the husband needs to make them feel beautiful and loved. Yes we do cook but that should not be your main concern.
In a few situations that I know of, the woman just got sick of her husband not providing. Not that I am pointing figures, I never knew more woman initiate divorce. But in a few situation, the man had said would learn X number of years and then work to provide for his family but would not leave yeshiva and got comfortable living life a certain way. They were no longer being supported and the whole thing was too strenuous for the woman and she/they resented the husband.
Joke or not.. Giving blood is such a mitzvah we should all be so lucky to give. I’m due to give its been too long. Has anyone ever given platelets? A friend of mine z’l was in need of blood and platelets, I was so scared because I ha never even heard of platelets at the time. ( in my defense I was in college) I went, I gave, I cringed, and bH didn’t even hurt me. Also I am o+ so I try to give blood when I can. We all should!
These “boys” are 18-19 years old. They are learning all year bH for that. They do deserve some time to chill as kfb put it. Whether it is Miami, NYC, Baltimore whatever, unless you plan to lock them inside of a beis medrish they are going to be exposed to the outside world. A few days/weeks in day light around (not mingling) with those who are not bochrim won’t ruin all that they have accomplished. Don’t let fear of failure as a parent suffocate your kids they are much more likely to go otd that way we all know that.
Farrocks that is just not so. I have a good relationship with my MIL bH, but in no way am I as close to her as my mom. My mom knows me she raised me there is no fakeneas, awkwardness, grudges it is more of a natural relationship. Granted I have not been married too long and I hope to buil my relationship with my MIL. It is a very comfortable relationship, I get frustrated sometimes with things my in laws do or say but we have never had an issue. On the other hand if I get in a fight with my mom and we yell and cry and and curse(Oy), NO damage has been done. We make up to 100%. With an in law c’v’s I ever do but it would not be the same and there would always be the memory of that fight.
I saw it a few weeks ago it is crazy. The man who narrated the movie /made it is questionable though, but still a great cause!
I turned 23 a few weeks before my wedding. I have some verrrry MO friends who got married before me or around 23,24. My more yeshivishe friends between 20-23. (girls) my husbands friends on the more yeshivishe side around age 25. Everyone is different. I have a lot of Lubavitcher female friends who get married usually 22. Literally a shanda if the girl turns 24 and isn’t married. Oy.
A father daughter relationship goes ways beyond the fact that he has input on who she marries. The person who said that implied besides when it comes to marriage he has no reason to have anything to do with his child. Parenting is a team effort. Atleast it is/was in my house . I think some of these answers must be jokes otherwise I’m scared.
My OB is not in favor of home births. He says that while yea in a perfect world and perfect situation everything can go 100% fine. But we know how many things could go wrong why take that chance? It IS a big risk no one can argue that.
??? Application?
Speed limit is 45 mph on the highway I travel most. BH I have never ever been pulled over, but I have been in the car with a friend being pulled over for 5mph over the limit. Getting in a crash going to speed limit as opposed to 15-20 miles over can mean the difference between life and death. It is not worth it. Please don’t speed.
Yes, I agree. I could never handle being a shadchan in times like this. I know wonderful boys coming out of this yeshiva but the shallowness is disturbing.
Are you going to be supported by your parents, or hers? That makes all The difference. If not then I say after you have finished college and have found a job.
Sorry about the typo he instead of she, I am on my phone.
That is not always true. I know many women who always had their hair perfect and eyes perfect when dating. And now they are comfortable or more comfortable to let their natural beauty show.
On a different note:
My friend is a shadchan for a well known yeshiva and she told me that the 3 things boy looks for/demand for her to find is, size 2-4 girls, blue eyes, longer then shoulder length hair. So… I ask, when did the length of a girls hair become more important than her midos? My friend told me that he has mothers of bachurim screaming at her over the phone ” this girl was bigger than you said he would be don’t you think my son can do better what are you setting him up with”! .
Found it very interesting. And a little disappointing.
Oomis I completely agree
I don’t know that I believe that. Not to say that everyone should do 1 thing and be done with it, but every person is different and something that works for one person may not work for another. All I know is this way worked better for me, and I don’t think it makes me any more likely to chas v’s get divorced than my friend who dated for 6 days. On the contrary one friend in particular who has been married about the same length of time as I have, STILL says she feels uncomfortable without makeup around her husband, can’t use the bathroom when he is home, won’t scarf down food infront of him etc. in my case by the time I was engaged I was past those insecurities. Well the first and third :). I also have a friends who dated in a few short weeks who are very happy and comfortable and content bH. There is too much judging and high horsing on this site. I’m tellin you the negativity toward “semi chilled” yeshivish and GFB Modern orthodox is scary. We are all a part of BY we should start acting like it.
I personally dated my husband for 10 months. Best decision of my life. Yes some aspects may have been difficult but it turned out amazing. The reason for this was that I had some awful experiences when shidduch dating, people held things back, a lot o Loshon hurrah and scheming. I needed to know WHO I was marrying. Yes ofcourse I didn’t really “know” my husband in the way I do now, but I knew him a heck of a lot better than my friends who mamish went on 4 dates before getting engaged. None of my friends did bshows as we are not chassidish so I can’t really speak on that. I do however know unfortunately many people under 24 years old who are divorced and only one that I can think of dated over a couple of months. I have found that in the shidduch world people are so worried about their child not finding a shiduch ( understandably) that they hold back what they may not deem important. I know many unfortunately girls who married boys everything was beautiful both sides were ecstatic and it turns out he boy had been to rehab for drug use and relapsed into he first year of marriage. Those of you saying shidduchim don’t properly vet a shiduch or research the way beshows do is false. They/we do. So many calls are made and rabbonim spoken to etc. every situation is different. I just don’t like sitting here reading about people basically saying beshows is the best way and that it makes no difference dating you don’t know them any better. That is just false. I can safely say I was in love with my husband before and on our wedding date. He is my best friend and I wish the same happiness that I have for EVERYONE. Btw I did not just get married so please don’t say it’s newly wedded bliss. It is how I feel an I know he feels the same. B’hatzlacha to everyone looking for their basheret!
Saying that MO people/couples/families lead empty lives and that you can’t be fulfilled if you are not chassidish or yeshivish is VERY ignorant and incorrect. It’s also mean considering how many MO read ywn.
What kind of herpes was it? I learned that a cold sore( one strain of herpes) is not transferable. So sad and tragic what happened. Glad I don’t hold by that custom!