oneoutofthree

Wolf show us what you’ve got!

(Would it be any less scary, the other way around?!)

Mazel Tov!

Writing in hebrew should be even simpler than speaking it.

For instance when we took the hebrew regent there was at least the time to think and then write, but when it comes to speaking the language you need to think before you speak and then think again it’s double the effort and annoying when you end up breaking up like that after each word. Tough, but cool when you get the lingo flowing

The bigger ‘q’ is why baby salmon is called so, it’s just a trout that swims in colored water to give it that pinkish hue

Since many Hasidische Rebbes are also concerned about everyday life in their communities, they may ban biking in their community for safety reasons.

If that is the case then driving cars should be banned

aha they used to be and that is why… but the ones we see today are as close to eggs as purple onions are to the color red or as baby salmon is to (ocean/wild) salmon

Guys, maybe your next song should be on all those so called “segulahs” that people believe in…

Mods can you please correct the spelling in the title…

Rule #1

The boss is ALWAYS right

Rule #2

When the boss is wrong, see rule #1

I just stepped on a cornflake. Now, I am officially a cereal killer

I would guess that those people ignoring you probably didn’t mean it out of rudeness but rather they are of the same people who wouldn’t socialize with opposite gender and then go extreme by not having any contact at all ie greeting… (with) those of opposite gender (as a “geder” kinda thing)

Well, could be it appears rude and weird but they see it as like totally “lshem shmayim” (cmon benefit of the doubt… will ya’)

in that case those who cross the street are actually telling you, you do exist and therefor they’re avoiding you. 😉

From reading the title I was at first like huh? they’re not doing it in the end… But ye, it’s good stuff listened to it on youtube, the video is awesome

Thanks Lev Aryeh and chevra! Keep it up!

JF02 that got me laughing, we have this ongoing argument that lasts from sefira until after the 9 days year after year

Argument is: if the secular music is considered music at all. So duno if that counts…

Ye no one should take it as a personal offense if they’re not answered right away, there can be a gazillion reasons to take offense and then again not to.

Oh and perhaps its someone else using the account at the moment… a snoopy sibling or parent… (errr…)

Got it 🙂 guess I’m not that literature savvy… oh well

Just my happence: +1000000

Justin Bieber (snort)

Someone’s selling their Gehinom on ebay ( My Place In Hell My Portion In Gehinom )

What crazy people:

I eat a gid hanasheh every bite,

I put on my left shoe before my right,

You think I don’t do aveiros? Don’t even wonder,

I never make a brucheh when I hear the thunder,

My wife wears a sheitel, not a tichel,

I eat the herring without the kichel,

I drink every night ad delo yudeh,

I never sing zemiros at the shabbos sudeh,

I hang around with a goyishe oilem,

I never do bikur cholim,

Yeah I hang out with goyim vus iz nisht gemalet,

I don’t put on my paper, beis samech daled.

I go to shul and I’m just chillin,

I only put on one pair of tefillin,

I never cry when I go to levayos,

I eat the matzah, less than a kezayis,

I don’t even care about chulev stam,

I don’t even like be’er mayim chayim,

I go to the games with Derek Jeter,

I always get married during sefira,

I do aveiros, oid ve’oid,

I never go on trips on chol hamo’ed,

I never daven tefillah be’tzibur,

I listen to the tapes, from Justin Bieber.

I’m such a goy, vus hut du getracht,

I learn the gantzeh nittel nacht,

Chassidim and rebbes are not my types,

I wear the tzitzis without the stripes,

I always say lashon hara,

All my friends do avodah zara,

I’m such a tzioni, I sing Hatikva,

I don’t even pay when I use the mikva,

I changed my name to Sam, from Shmuel,

I don’t even like Eretz Yisrooel,

I don’t ask for a shidduch when I go to Amukah,

I give more than a choimesh to tzedukeh,

I use the Internet for the news,

I do birkas kohanim with my shoes.

I do shnayim mikra without the targum,

When I see an Amaleiki I would never harg him,

I’m the biggest ba’al aveiros in the velt,

I never give my kids any chanuka gelt,

My esrog is always full of black dots,

I always make a brucheh when I wash urchatz,

I eat in the sukkah on Sh’mini Atzeres,

I toivel in the mikvah holding a sheretz,

By Haman’s name I always cheer,

By shulem zuchers I only drink root beer,

By the Purim shpiel I never laugh,

For afikomen I use the smaller half,

I only drink gimmel koises,

I eat tons of marror without charoises,

Rosh Hashana by simanim I eat the shvantz,

By my chasunah I had an aveirah tantz!

Make sure to blend the cheese cake ingredients really well until its smooth and all lumps wiskadoo!

…she met Baruch….

Oh Shrek!:

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/tfillas-hashla-erev-rosh-chodesh-sivan-yom-kippur-katan

Me: You look pretty today!

You: Was I ugly yesterday?

Don’t bother….