Forum Replies Created
hahahaha mods! how do you do everything right? What does it go to when you click my name?
click on it and find out 😉 -29
p.s. it’s temporary
SiDi- It’s what all the cool kids are doing!! Welcome!!December 4, 2013 12:15 am at 12:15 am in reply to: Surprisingly, the more I hear about Obamacare, the more I like it. #993882
weve had “medicare” in our system forever
TOAM- im not sure who you told the first time, but try a Rabbi or Teacher. Someone older. An aunt is always someone good to confide in as they are in the family and aware of the situation. PLEASE PLEASE go talk to someone! And when you do spill everything, there will be NO MODS to cut you off lol. Just talk to someone you know is trustworthy. You can do it, we all have faith in you. I wish you ciould just wake up to happy days, but you need to do your Hishtadlus. At least try it ok? If it doesnt work at least you can say you tried and then we can come up with another plan, but I really think this will be helpful.
REMBER- HASHEM PUTS SPECIFIC PEOPLE WITH SPECIFIC CHALLENGES BECAUSE HE KNOWS!!!! THAT THEY CAN OVERCOME THEM AND COME OUT STRONGER! You must be very special and I could only wish I knew you in person because then I’d be a very lucky girl.
TAOM- hey pal, we don’t need details! we just want to hear that you are ok. I am so glad you got to see a few days of your father being happier and nicer. It should be that silver lining that your father can come to hopefully with help from someone, or even on his own realization. As for you, the cheapest therapy is venting. So please go find someone to confide in (if you havent already) maybe someone who knows you well like an aunt or teacher or rabbi (someone with your best intrest in mind) and spill all the burden that is building up on ur heart. You are such a sweet girl, you need to live your life! I hate knowing that one of Hashems precious children are suffering out there for an action that is not their own. Keep strong and PLEASE PLEASE go talk to someone TONIGHT!!!
streekgeek- you gotta get on the good side of the mods, aka me and 29 are already besties!
I was in E’Y in seminary. I acctualy only found out about this because my sem used YWN to keep us posted on the war of rockets with Hamas in Gaza. So I checked out the website and BAM the CR aka the best place!!
yea guys stop ripping on rebyidd!! hes here just to make a fuss like everyone else, so let him have his fun!
Rising sun- agreed buddy. But its unfortunate Cuz the high school I went to doesn’t event teach the halacha and girls dress however they want. I had to find out last year how I’m really supposed to be dressing irs unfortuante cuz many girls don’t feel beautiful they think they need to show themselves off. Our community must reconsider the way we teach tznious we must make it the most appealing rhing cuz we r loosing the intrest of curious girls
shopping look at you giving musser!!! so proud!
Woohoo!!! 29, I’m so glad I will always be remebered as ur debut subtitle 🙂 have a good shabbos 🙂
Love that!!!! Which mod can I give my hakaras hatov to??
So glad you like it! I’m actually new here so we’ve never met. This was my debut – 29
superme- Before you read this, put your defense mechanism down. I am talking about that voice inside your head that is saying NOTHIGNG WILL WORK. You must try something, so here are some ideas:
find yourself a mentor to speak with. Someone who may know you and you are comfertable opening yourself up to. This should unload the emotional burden on your shoulders. Next find a hobbie, whether it be going for a walk, playing piano, singing, listening to music. Something you can use when you get stressed as an escape and as a calming effect on you. I personally love playing piano. I teach myself songs and make up tunes or just play random keys. It is so important to find that escape. Finnaly start moving. Yes you probably feel like you cant move, but you can. Trust me, your body can do way more than you think it can. And if it is too hard, then do 5 minutes the first day. Then 6 the next and so on and so fourth.
hatzlocha!! I hope this is helpful.
some shopping!!! From the last time she posted, she sounded like things were going a bit better..do we should look at that! keep davening for her 🙂
streekgeek- THANK YOU for that wise and beautiful advice! I was really only looking for some chizuk, but that totally helped! I agree that parents do everything out of love, but in my situation, they are so in love with me that they are overlooking the things that will not harm me and make me happy by seeing them as harmful. Basically, they use their preconviceved notions of events that happned in their lives to base my chocies on. and it is very hard to get throguh. they also told me to stop talking to others because THEY are the people that raised me and invested everything in me. But I told them to think clearly for a minute. They want whats best for me, but their emotinal attachemnt is too high that the logical compnent has gone out the door. They themselves have mentors outside their own parents. Everyone needs!
jbaldy- I will definitly do that. THANK YOU soooo much for the advice and chizuk. I will keep pushing and it is nice to see that you were able to come out successful despite your parents opposing. That is most definitly inspiring to me 🙂
streekgeek- you have been awesome 🙂 hatzlacha in ur next stage in life!!! ill miss you!!
isnt there a problem with wearing a full body covering (like a burka) in Judaism? Isn’t that overly Tzanua? Becuase then your doing exactly the opposite of tzanua, drawing attention to onesself
Please don’t be sorry 🙂 BH Hashem instilled within me the ability to stay strong and keep smiling and for now that is very helpful. With my freinds in real life, My Rabbi and mentors, and of course YOU SPECIAL PEOPLE (I sure hope ur people lol) I have many reasons to keep smiling. I know that the Yetzer Hara usually tries to kill your goals before something amazing is supposed to happen so you give up. But I will not give up because I know something amazing will IyH come out of my decisions!
Thanks again guys so much keep the chizuk coming 🙂
just wanted to let you know it didnt go super well. I feel btr now that its on the table tho, so for anyone who was planning on doing something like this, dont get your hopes down. It feels a lot better. Also now that its on the table, my parents r aware of what was bothering me and I can let it simmer. I have spoken to a Rabbi whom they sincerely respect who will help out if nesscairy!
thank you again for all your chizuk and tefilos! 🙂 KEep davening!!
Lost- I work with a lot of people with autism and they have so mcuh to offer the world. Their ideas just need to be expressed differently. Do not think you are worthless, or a sinner or any of that. You will get the help you need a recognie that you are worth a lot, because Hashem put you here. You are a very holy neshama trapped inside a body just like all of us, but you are holier.
Please keep smiling and get yourself some help!
fkelly- you arent alone pal! I wish that the CR had a way to make email conversations between two people so we cud give each other chizuk…then again we wud have never known we were in the same poisiton as each other if it wasnt written forum style 🙂
Stay strong, and keep yourself motivated in the way you are living now. As long as you are happy and feel like you are living meaninful life, IyH your parents should come around. If you need any other advice let me know (although right now im kind of panciking for this conversation)!!!!!
popa- so what? theres no such thing as going off, just continue learning and then do yoma, you are bound to meet back up with everyone else one day. just be proud of your learning dont do it for the purpose of “finishing” do it for the purpose of learning.
and dont insult people.
your doing a beautiufl thing by learning gemora everyday.
thank yo saysme- its not going to be easy at all. But I know this is nessicary for my abilities in life (parnassa, who I marry etc.)
shopping- agreed 🙂 thnks 🙂
so mods, how do you give me one??
I baked challah LKAVOD SHABBIS KODESH!
try ohel bais ezra, or go to your rabbi and ask him if he knows any other local charities that can help you out. you are not alone
shhhhh…dont tell anyone i put it there shopping….
shopping i can touch my tounge to my nosee …nananananan
What did I say wrong shnitzy???
mods how do I get a title under my name like eevryone else??
become an actuary!
hahahaha shopping I seriously admire you! your great 🙂 I was wondering over my Micha yesturday how Hashem could give man the brains to produce this coffee room so all of us from all over the world could come together and help out (or fight it out)
I watching this video and I am very confused. Can someone please explain to me the idea behind living a Torah lifestyle but not being able to afford food to feed themselves and their kids. IM EIN KEMACH EIN TORAH and vice versa. What is wrong with working a few days a week and learning at nights. Does Hashem really want us to live like this, in starvation? Can someone please help me I’m wuite troubled by this!!!
whats about me shopping!!!!
streekgeek- im taking a psychology course right now and we just learned about this topic! As much as tangible rewards seem great in the present, the excitement for them dissipate much quicker than the feeling one gets from knowing something like love from a parent or friend is always there. An intanigble reward is a much stronger reinforcer in any situation. But that should not disregard physcial rewards. There should be, but they should not dominate, otherwise you cannot be sure if a child will be doing something just for the reward or mainly because he loves it.
taom- same!!! lets start out own club!!!
looking forward to hearing from you!!! i can barley sit in lecture i wanna know how your doing!!! 🙂 YOU TOO SHOPPING!!!
36- liike TAOM said so beautifully, you were selected to be born into olam hazeh with a mission. DO NOT under any circumstance let anyone tell you your off target. Yes, school might not be your things, but that doesn’t mean being a mom/dad (not sure if ur a girl or guy) isn’t. Or doing something really speical with your life like open up a chessed. Just cuz your not so good at certain classes, find the things you are good with and stick with those. Life isn’t going to be perfect, bnut make it as happy as you can 🙂 Hatzlacha
i think shopping meant to say really 😉
shopping- what is this exactly???
LAB- HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA oy vey!!!!! Clearly I was in a rush before Shabbos and did not have a chance to fix up my post! I meant that he told me that no one is perfect and were only human. Hahaha thanks again for fixing it!
WIY- if this wasn’t stressed enough is everyones posts, HES HUMAN!
If anything, there is still silver lining in this story. Whatever he did, he did. That doesnt mean that your life has to come crumbling down. He didn’t do it to hurt you specifically. You sincerely looked up to him and aspired to be like him. But you must recognize that it’s not possible. You must be yourself. Sometimes Hashem will send us this harsh message when we aspire to be like another person TOO much. “Mi hu chocom? Halomed Mikol Adam!”- Pirkei Avos, Perek 4. Who is wise? One who LEARNS from everyone! take the lessons you learned from this man and apply them to your life, but LEARN where to stop yourself. Just cuz he made a mistake doesn’t mean you have to, and you can still attempt to acheive a beautiful trait he emultes.
this is quite general! what do you hate about school? Is the learning too hard, or are you just a lazy student? Are your teachers unfair, or are you talking alot in class?
You need to sepearate between your own actions and what is actualy a problem with the school!
if you are struggling with grades but you are trying really hard, then i’d suggest getting a tutor, or maybe if your in hgih school dropping a hard course.
WIY- this happened to me and I spoke to my Rabbi about it. He told me that no one is human and everyone is going to make mistakes. You can still admire that person for the specific trait that they had that you wanted to emulate, while recognizing that they aren’t perfect. It also comes to show us how important it is to be an individual. Hashem instills within us our own personal Kochos and Tzaros, and we must focus on them. Yes we should have people to look up to, but we cannot make our focus being them! So I’d say if something that person had was inspiring to you, maintain that inspiration, but recognize no one is perfect! and don’t loose hope that people in this world are all bad 🙂
how you doing today pal! I’m so glad my post helped 🙂 My friends at home tell me I’m always giving good adivce, and I LOVE helping them out! So anytime 🙂
I was really thinking about you today and davening for your situation! (i hope Hashem knows who “the art of moi from the CR” is 🙂 And I had an idea that may seem a bit radical to you, but if you take a step back from your sitation (like where each of us in the CR is) you might find this helpful. What if you tried acting like he isn’t ruining your life. ok ok, you might be laughing at your screen right now! But really. You are in a place of ability in this situation. Ability meaning you are able to be a mkae it or break it point for your father. Since you are his daughter, believe it or not, he loves you and hes a human and every human makes mistakes. He probably was unable to control his yetzer at the time of the mistake. Clearly the affects of his mistake have been affecting you too (and rightfully so you are allowed to be upset and angered by it). But think for a second, who is YOUR PERSONAL anger affecting? Really it is only you! your father has his own things he needs to deal with and doesn’t realize how he is affecting everyone around him.
so here is my advice! instead of resenting him, embrace him. Think of it as an OTD child to parents. Yes, the kid makes the family look bad and makes the parents upset and depressed and embarassed. But at the end of the day, it was not the parents fault (unless it was but were looking at a situation where it wasn’t). So to, your dads actions do not relfect who you are! an amazing inspiring, strong willed person! Anyone who does not recognize that, is not worth spending time explaing to! As for you, embrace your father. Show him that you love him for him and that you are ONE SHINING LIGHT, if not THE ONLY SHINING light in his life! He already is paternally attached to you, and I know hes hurt you and your family. I know it. And I’m so so sorry! But please try this other approach. Keep all your anger and direct it to an lolder person who will listen to your venting. And then come back to your father and tell him hes still your role model. And that you know that he has the ability to make teshuva. In this time for him, you have no idea how it can save him from doing even worse things. If he sees he has the support of someone so close to him, and that he hasnt let EVERYONE down! You can be the changing factor in his life!
I know this is going to be extremly challenging for you! But Hashem always makes things harder when something even more amazing will come out of it! (Like Avrohom inviting the guests into his tent even though he’d have a bris! Look how challenging it must have been, but he pushed through and Yitzchak was born because of it!)
TAOM- first of all, we are all here for you!! 🙂 I happen to think you are very sweet and if I met you one day I’m sure we’d be besties!!
while I cannot understand the position you are in, here is my humble opinion and advice for you.
Sometimes in life, we humans who clearly do not know half of what Hashem’s greater plan is, things go awry. At one second we see clear blue skies and the next it is stormy and scary and you seem like you are not in control. And frankly, as scary as it sounds, you aren’t. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu is that comfort and that is the ultimate comfort in hard times like this!
That is not to say that you cannot control other things in your life like the people who aren’t sure how to respond, and in turn do not do so appropriatly. My advice on this part is to keep quiet to the people who you are not really close with, because they do not need to know what is happening, it is none of their buisness. furthermore, I STRONGLY (and streegeek too) encourage you to find someone in your community that understands what is happening, or even someone that doesn’t but someone older you know you can trust and confide to. I am now aware of the clear hardship you are going through, and trust me, we all have our own challenges, but you can only do so much becuase the rest is in Hashem’s hands. So I say your hishtadlus in this case should be to not share it with people you wouldn’t normally. And if they heard it from the news, say kindly “I would rather not talk about it but thank you for your concern. Let’s talk about something else.”
Remeber TAOM- you are a special person that Hashem created just right- ALL the details in your life were created just right! So do everything you can to seperate your fathers problems from your personal life. Find the friends who are willing to skip over the topic because those will be the ones you want to hold close. And remeber to enjoy your 120 shana here on olam hazeh! make sure your soaking up every waking minute with positive things 🙂 I know you can do it! you were created with tzelem elikom! you have Godly powers within you! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!
streekgeek- if your post sem/yeshiva you are most definatly an after teen 🙂
shopping- find someone to talk to aswell!! and i suggest you find someone in person!
little froggie- whats the story behind your name?