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Viewing 47 posts - 1 through 47 (of 47 total)
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  • in reply to: Skokie Rosh Yeshiva stories #1639667

    reuventree555
    Participant

    1. Pretty sure that was Reb Aron Solovechick.

    2. Have never heard that story.

    in reply to: What do you think? #1441000

    reuventree555
    Participant

    These are good questions.

    in reply to: Shidduchim for those with a past #1220256

    reuventree555
    Participant

    Bachur 2.0, I hear what you’re saying, but can you explain why you won’t go out with a nice girl who is frum now and also has a past?

    If you are suggesting that people should just look at how you are now and not at your past- it’s not fair if you’re not willing to do that as well- by going out with a girl with a past…

    in reply to: marrying a good boy who might not be good enough for you #1220671

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “LB: this is a stall tactic + she can get schar if he actually learns so even if this might not be the best way to get rid of him for good she might actually be mekariv him…(there is a chance however small it may be)(mitoch shelo lishmah ba lishma)”

    No offense, but this is TERRIBLE advice! You are pretty much advising her to play with fire. Rebshidduch ignore this advise. Don’t worry about trying to mekariv him- mekariv yourself first. This plan is horrible and extremely risky. Just stay away from him.

    in reply to: marrying a good boy who might not be good enough for you #1220614

    reuventree555
    Participant

    I agree that using shadchanim can be tough. But don’t settle for less. Never think about marrying someone because they have potential. Because if they don’t reach it- then you’ll have big problems. Also, don’t marry someone as a chesed. Again- that’s a bad idea…

    in reply to: marrying a good boy who might not be good enough for you #1220601

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “Avram, he would become more religious for me. But I am curious why would he say he wants to become a rabbi and how all guys want me and how it should be easy for me to get a good shidduch when he knows I want someone learning full time?”

    Ummm. I think there’s several very plausible explanations for why he is willing to change for you:

    1) He finds you attractive

    2) He finds you attractive and he thinks that he only needs to temporarily change until you get married to him then he can do whatever he wants

    3) He finds you attractive so he’ll say anything to get you to go out with him

    Are you seeing a pattern? If you’re really looking for a full time kollel guy- then why are you wasting time dealing with People that don’t fit what you’re looking for?

    in reply to: Coming to shul without a jacket for davening Shachris #1219634

    reuventree555
    Participant

    LU,

    Sounds like you’re agreeing with me. Thanks for the support.

    Does it really?

    in reply to: Coming to shul without a jacket for davening Shachris #1219629

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “Avinu” comes before “Malkeinu”.

    in reply to: Coming to shul without a jacket for davening Shachris #1219626

    reuventree555
    Participant

    I thought that Hashem was our Father? I would think that my father would want me to be comfortable. Do you always wear a jacket when you speak to your father?

    in reply to: Stuff to do in Israel for a First Timer #1215305

    reuventree555
    Participant

    You should definitely go to the Blind Museum in Holon. It’s near Tel Aviv. Amazing experience. Also, you can go on a Segway tour. Google “ZuZu Segway Tour”. Have fun!

    in reply to: Do you recognize the 'State of Israel'? #1214140

    reuventree555
    Participant

    I’m very confused. What are you guys talking about? How do you not recognize the state?

    Does that mean that if the police was trying to pull you over in Israel–then you would just ignore him? What about border patrol? Are you just going to ignore them in Ben Gurion?

    The Israeli government is in charge of Israel. It’s very simple. How would you “not recognize” the government?

    in reply to: What's the parsha after shidduchim? #1207809

    reuventree555
    Participant

    It’s obvious. It’s ???? ???!!

    in reply to: Is Dating Tznius? #1212118

    reuventree555
    Participant

    For all of you who are advocating essentially only having beshows, did you have one? Or do you plan to have one when you start dating? If you didn’t and don’t plan to, then stop advocating for it. Very simple. You just sound delusional and hypocritical- if you are saying that the current dating system is wrong and yet you’re not willing to do what you think is right.

    Either follow through with what you’re saying is right or please stop talking.

    in reply to: Is "Haredism" a Movement? #1207160

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “Which minhagim? Which “chareidim”? The Sephardic chareidim? The Chasidic chareidim? Which “Big Rabbis”?”

    Please don’t play dumb… You are obviously aware of “The Gedolim.” Ever hear of Rav Kanievsky, Rav Shteinman… All Charedim will look to the Gedolim for guidance and leadership.

    in reply to: Is "Haredism" a Movement? #1207153

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “Telzers follow the teachings and Minhagim of the Telzer Yeshiva”

    How is it any different from saying Chareidim follow the teachings and minhagim of the Big Rabbis in Bnei Brak?

    in reply to: Halacha for the masses #1205879

    reuventree555
    Participant

    Does this approach bother anyone else? Essentially what we’re saying is that it’s perfectly normal for a Rabbi to say one thing- but when questioned 1 on 1- he might hold differently.

    How doesn’t this make him disingenuous at best and a liar at worst?

    in reply to: Kashrus in Israel #1205159

    reuventree555
    Participant

    Lu,

    What are you talking about?

    You said that “there is no toeles in asking or being answered by an anonymous poster.”

    Of course there is a toeles purpose here! Unless you’re trying to say that you don’t care if fellow Jews each kosher food? Are you assuming that the OP is just asking for fun? Maybe to cause trouble? He’s trying to keep kosher!

    If after 120, you meet Hashem and he says that because you ignored the OP he ended up eating trief- I hope you have some good explanations planned…

    in reply to: The LATEST shidduchim thread! #1206785

    reuventree555
    Participant

    C’mon people! Get into the Channukah spirit by making a shidduch! We must fight the assimilation of America!

    in reply to: The Sephardim's Relationship to Ashkenazim in Israel? #1205820

    reuventree555
    Participant

    I also want to clarify that I know that it’s a 2-way street. Sephardim don’t like ashkenzaim either.

    At the end of the day, why do we like to pretend that achdus is so important– but in reality- most people hate their neighbors who are not exactly like them.

    in reply to: Is Dating Tznius? #1212004

    reuventree555
    Participant

    DaMoshe and Person1,

    Though you guys are right, there is no point calling out Joseph. When he sees arguments that he can’t refute or are inconvient to the point he is making, he simply ignores them. Probably because he’s a bored 15 year old Yeshiva bachur. Don’t bother waiting for him to respond to your points.

    in reply to: Is Dating Tznius? #1211953

    reuventree555
    Participant

    You are the spiritual leader of the CR so we need to know exactly what you did- so we can emulate you.

    in reply to: Is Dating Tznius? #1211952

    reuventree555
    Participant

    Joseph,

    So did you go out on any dates? Did you have a beshow?

    in reply to: Is Dating Tznius? #1211947

    reuventree555
    Participant

    Just pointing out that Joseph has continued to ignore LU’s question about how Joseph met his wife… Hey Joseph, we need the chizuk. Please tell us how you met your wife. I’d hate to imagine that you’re someone that talks big on the forums, but in reality doesn’t actually practice what you preach.

    Please tell us how your arranged marriage took place. Chanukah is coming and we need your story to inspire us and help us fight the secular influences around us.

    in reply to: Is Dating Tznius? #1211924

    reuventree555
    Participant

    LU, you’re going to have to keep waiting… Joseph just ignores questions that he can’t answer…

    in reply to: Divorce in the jewish community #1204408

    reuventree555
    Participant

    People also probably have different expectations for marriage nowadays. After the Holocaust, a lot of people were just looking for someone Jewish and frum to settle down with and have a family. Whether they actually liked the person wasn’t as big of a consideration. The main goal was to have a Jewish family. These days, that concept isn’t enough. People want to enjoy being married.

    in reply to: Divorce in the jewish community #1204392

    reuventree555
    Participant

    ZD is right, but another main reason is that the stigma of getting a divorce has gone down. In the past, people would stay together even if things weren’t good because they were afraid of what their neighbors and community members would think.

    in reply to: Who's the Bigger Crybaby? #1194585

    reuventree555
    Participant

    It’s a tie. They both lose.

    in reply to: goyish music #1188341

    reuventree555
    Participant

    Shopping- I respect your decision.

    in reply to: goyish music #1188337

    reuventree555
    Participant

    36 posts in 4 days is plenty. Not really sure why the thread should be closed. People seem to have strong opinions on this topic- so I’d rather hear current thoughts instead of seeing posts on this topic from 4 years ago.

    in reply to: goyish music #1188333

    reuventree555
    Participant

    I agree with Meno. A spicy cholent can change your heart rate. An inspiring dvar Torah can change your heart rate. An amazing Simchas Torah hakafos can change your heart rate. Yet, I don’t see any calls to ban those things…

    in reply to: Using pejoratives #1188373

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “Negro” also simply means “black.” However, I wouldn’t suggest you go call someone that term…

    in reply to: survey on the Get experience #1188247

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “What if the “denied” spouse becomes intolerable?”

    Lenny. What do you think is going to happen? Do you think that the Beis Din will force your wife to be nice to you? Not going to happen. She will become intolerable and then your life will be miserable until you give her a Get.

    It’s time for you to join reality. You cannot force someone to love you and be happy with you. You have 2 options: 1) Give her a Get; or 2) FORCE her to stay in the marriage- and wait for her to try her best to ruin your life and make you hate waking up in the morning.

    Again, stop asking what the Beis Din can/cannot do–and start thinking about how real life works…

    in reply to: Chofetz Chaim boys #1187686

    reuventree555
    Participant

    ” don’t know if it’s a good idea to start comparing boys from one Yeshiva to another. That sounds like it could be a Hilchos L”H issue”

    Or people can speak in a nice manner for a toeles purpose–so there won’t be any L’H issues…

    in reply to: goyish music #1188318

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “What is The Final Countdown by Europe?”

    Europe is a band. The Final Countdown is a song. If you google the song–you should recognize the tune very quickly.

    in reply to: goyish music #1188310

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “I once listened to goyishe music and now I am a Christian missionary. I will never forgive the goyishe music I listened to for doing this to me.”

    Do you make good money as a missionary? I could use a few dollars…

    in reply to: survey on the Get experience #1188241

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “What I can’t figure out is if one of the spouses absolutely wants out, and the Beis Din says they can’t have out, what happens to the marriage going forward? Thanks.”

    Lenny, you seem like a nice guy, I just have a few questions for you. What is wrong with you?? What do you think happens to the marriage? If your wife doesn’t want to be in the marriage and she is forced to stay in it, then she will probably make your life miserable until you give her a Get.

    Since you seem to need this spelled out for you… If she wanted to drive you crazy, she can 1) Stop doing housework; 2) Stop making food; 3) Embarrass you in public; 4) Constantly be screaming at you and making your life miserable…

    That is just a few things that can take place. Lenny. TAKE A HINT. Your wife doesn’t want to be with you–just give her a Get and move on. Stop trying to force her to be in a marriage because she will be miserable and will hate you. Unfortunately, you can meet with 1000 Rabbis, but even if they can force her to stay married to you, they cannot force her to love you or to even treat you respectfully.

    in reply to: #1 on your shidduch list #1187557

    reuventree555
    Participant

    Just try to find a kind and unselfish person. What difference does yichus make if your spouse is a terrible person? You are not marrying his/her grandfather!

    in reply to: Staying happy as an older single #1187928

    reuventree555
    Participant

    The way to stay happy when you’re single is just to live your life. Go on a trip, get a job, do whatever you want… Don’t be constantly thinking about shidduchim. Hashem will take care of you. Enjoy being single…It’s not a crime or disease…


    reuventree555
    Participant

    “Gofish – I don’t think that Joseph is as bad as he sounds. From what I “know” of him, he actually seems like a very nice person, and I don’t think he ever engages in personal insults (which is hard to avoid around here) even when he feels strongly about something.”

    “You have never spoken to me that way before and I was surprised by it.”

    lilmod ulelamaid, why are you surprised?? Like many people mentioned earlier, some people make Judaism look terrible because of the way they use the Torah. Joseph is one of those individuals. It’s not that hard to see that…

    in reply to: obtain a beis din's preliminary ruling without actually going to a beis din #1194950

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “You certainly have no right to judge the other people involved without hearing from them!”

    No one is judging him. We’re sharing our thoughts based on what he told us. You’re the one judging us.

    in reply to: obtain a beis din's preliminary ruling without actually going to a beis din #1194943

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “As an aside, my Rabbi & wife are super-friendly.”

    Maybe THAT is the real problem. If you know what I mean.

    in reply to: needs help. looking for sem #1184730

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “I think what i need is a husband and some shidduch advice! what kind of guy is this someone who doesnt talk to girls, doesnt wear jeans but not black suit black hatter, someone who goes to movies, listens to not jewish music, etc….?”

    “im very careful with tznius and dont talk to guys and dont watch movies or tv or any of that.”

    Wait so you’re looking for a guy who watches movies, but you don’t watch movies? Doesn’t seem to make sense…

    “I already know 2 guys who i want and they wont be learning full time”

    Haven’t you heard? There’s a shidduch crisis! Force them to learn and then force them to marry you. Then you’ll be set. Your welcome. I solved the problem. Gosh. I love helping people. Especially during Elul.

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1183663

    reuventree555
    Participant

    @lightbrite

    Ever hear of the concept of being Dan L’Kaf Zchus? Maybe you should try it sometime…Also, you’re the one who is being judgmental. I’m trying to help Sparkly.

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1183656

    reuventree555
    Participant

    @sparkly “zahavasdad – footsteps is HORRIBLE!!”

    Sparkly, I’m just trying to help you out, but you really should consider writing in a more mature fashion and using less exclamation points.

    It just makes you seem younger and more immature. You can feel really strongly about a point and get your point across without CAPITALIZING yours words and adding “!!!”. Just trying to help because it’s Elul–and I’m sure that you don’t want everyone to look at you as a young immature girl.

    in reply to: I know they are a great organization, but… #1213661

    reuventree555
    Participant

    “Unless they are very naive, why would they expect that? They know it’s a kiruv organization, so it makes sense that the people involved would be more encouraging than people in the real world.”

    I guess we’ll have to disagree. Because I have met people that were shocked at how different real life was compared to their support system in NCSY.

    in reply to: I know they are a great organization, but… #1213658

    reuventree555
    Participant

    @meno

    There is nothing wrong with people playing guitar at havdalah, but it’s silly to pretend that it is commonly done in the mainstream orthodox homes.

    in reply to: I know they are a great organization, but… #1213656

    reuventree555
    Participant

    You guys are making fair points, but isn’t it a problem that when someone is becoming frum through NCSY–they are constantly being told, “It’s amazing that you are keeping Shabbos! You are so great!…”

    However, once they become frum, they won’t have everyone hugging them and clapping them on the back for keeping shabbos. Shouldn’t we be careful to not mislead people?

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