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@the happy one (User not found):
The max one is really funny! Its the kind of thing arwsf would do!
The inventor of the ballet skirt was
struggling for a name, until he finally put tu and tu together.
How long does it take to shoot an apple off someone’s head with a bow and arrow?
Time Will Tell.
I hooked the world’s biggest ever fish last night. I’m still reeling!
This annoying guy called Pinchos Gershon Stern told me I can call him GPS for short, so I told him where to go
I’m thinking about setting up a rival service to Twitter, which allows you to write 145 characters, instead of 140. All those in favour, say
But the talking fish actually happened. It was well documented and proven. It was in Pomegranate. They made a video of it…
Derided? Nobody is doing that. I was complementing you for honouring shabbos, though a “rasha”, even a self declared one, would treat that as an embarrassment…
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation — think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough —
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!
The fact that I was born.
The Wolf
I have a way more embarrassing story for Wolf:
“My Shabbos shoes are my only shoes. During the week, I wear black sneakers.
The Wolf”
Do you realize what that means? The Wolf admitting here on YWN to an audience of billions that he is ???? ??? by not wearing sneakers but instead has a separate pair of shoes only for ???!
How embarrassing for him!!! ☺
Two out of three ain’t bad.
The Wolf
LOL!
And please explain to everyone how you get “circus”. (I’m sure that sounds a little ghotiy to most people).
Who knows what this spells:
“psoloquoise”
Thats like saying what car do you drive? Ford.
HTC what?
?’ ???? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ????? ?’ ???
??? ????? ?’ ?????? ?’ ???
??? ????? ???? ??? – ?’ ???, ??? ?????
??? ?? ????? – ?’ ?????? ?’ ???
??? ???? ?? ????? ??? ????? ????
‘??? ??? ?
Dear Mod Goq. You ARE the cracker jack staff. If your Mod Goq mug is not in the staff quarters then my that IS mysterious and spaced out!
It loads fine on my phone. They used to focus on the story with a small picture. Now it’s fakert. They could split it as main site and mobile site. What phone do you have?
Oh and how could I forget… Now that you’ve had your mod mitzvah, you are definitely amply qualified to list or amend your Ten Crommandments!
what happens if the siyum hashas gets rained out?
really? what happens?
We will all be immersed in the sea of the talmud
Goq, that was the greatest mod mitzvah I ever attended! Great title and thread.
BTW if you already got a pen and pencil set from mod 42 then I have the best mod gift for you… an eraser for deleting unsuitable posts!
Mazeltov!
Thank you oh Great and Mysterious Mod for bestowing upon me my kesser shem tov.
MODS WOULD YOU *PLEASE* CHANGE MY CR SUBTITLE TO
Thank you! Go on mods, you know you can do it!
My little daughter came into the kitchen and wanted some small cookies. We told her she could take 3. A few minutes later we caught her taking another 3. Take 2 and that’s it we said.Ok she says, but instead of putting back a cookie she took more! What are you doing we asked her. You said take 2 cookies so I am, she said innocently (or not).
I hate mondays and fridays. Does that make me a double racist?
No wrong.
Tom’s shoes have Leather
Now which Tom are you talking about? Tom Sawyer? Cruise? Hanks? Brady? Watson? Baker? Oh I get it. Thanks for the warning!
Actually you convey an important message and I should not make light of it.
But I must end off with a Riddle: what was Voldemort’s real name? Tom Marvolo what? …..
who else is scheduled to speak?
I hope they invite the oldest Jew alive today and the only person who can give us a first hand account of what life was like on the days of the amoraim in bavel (though he does talk too much sometimes and often does not exactly say what you expected)… the one and only popa bar abba!!
Do you seriously think it is appropriate to post jokes a few days before tisha b’av?
Listen guys, in my opinion you gotta move with the times.
So I’ll refer to you ALL as guys. Each and every one of you guys are great posters and I will respect your right to call us all guys whatever anyone says.
As for the gals…
Be Happy I love your analogy! We should all be looking for moshiach in every day situations!
Sinas chinam? Since when is
disagreeing with someone sinas
chinam?
It may not be. But shaming someone in public certainly is. The beis hamikdash was destroyed because of sinas chinam in which episode? In the story of kamtza and bar kamtza, where many ask the obvious question that this was seemingly a private sinah and disagreement between 2 private individuals. Why should the entire klal yisrael be labelled in this way as having sinas chinam and suffering the loss of the beis hamikdash?
One of the answers goes as follows. Why did kamtza and bar kamtza hate each other? Because bar kamtza was a tzeduki! So of course kamtza threw him out of his house. But he shamed a fellow Jew. And it was a taaneh against all the rabbonim who were sitting there and allowed it to happen without interfering.
This is why all klal yisrael had to suffer. It was not just a private fight between 2 individuals but leading gedolim were held culpable too.
And all because they shamed who? A tzeduki! That was enough “sinas chinam” to destroy the beis hamikdash!
So if anyone were to shame Rabbi Lau by withdrawing his invitation, what would be the difference between the 2 stories?
I am not chas vshalom calling Rabbi Lau shlita a tzeduki, nor am I fit to question the holy monsey viznitzer rebbe. But I am calling on the organizers not to let this outstanding, unparalleled and sacred kiddush hashem descend into machlokes!
Unfortunately, sickness comes in many forms R”L. Not just
Colorado, but in Bulgaria…
You are correct up to a point to draw parallels between the 2 atrocities.
But always remember: one was committed by an individual with psychological or depressive tendencies while the other is a whole worldwide program of thousands of people set up to talk other people into killing others on as large a scale as possible because they are non muslims, or should I say because be they are not of the same extreme brand of Islam as they are, and nothing deters them, even the possibility or high probability that they will be killing their own co religionists, and despite the fact that the very religion they claim to be acting on behalf of clearly says that killing anyone is clearly forbidden!
This said, the 2 tragedies are worlds apart.
I didn’t understand why any of you ever responded on this thread. I mean, there has to be something real fake when a mermaid says to you ” See everyone in real life “
The men in the shul went round and round,
Round and round,
Round and round.
The men in the shul went round and round,
All Simchas Torah long.
The chavrusas were learning two by two, hurray
The chavrusas were learning two by two, hurray
The chavrusas were learning two by two
They all looked alike, couldn’t tell who was who
The chavrusas were learning all thru the night
As I was going to Citifield,
I met a man with seven laptops,
Every laptop had seven modems,
Every modem had seven mice,
Every mouse had seven lights,
Laptops, modems, mice, and lights.
How many were going to Citifield?
(not an appropriate one for the coffeeroom…)
Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf ?
The big bad wolf
The big bad wolf
Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf ?
Tra-la-la-la-la-la
Never smile at a Ben Gurion Immigration Officer!
No, you can’t get friendly with a Ben Gurion Immigration Officer;
Don’t be taken in by his welcome grin;
He’s imagining how well you’d fit within his army unit with your tzitzis tucked in!
Never smile at a Ben Gurion Immigration Officer !
Oh, the grand old leader of neturei karta,
He had ten crazy men;
He marched them up to the anti Israel demonstration last Shabbos,
And he marched them down again.
When they were shouting, they shouted,
And when they pouting, they pouted,
And when they were only halfway thru,
They saw that their doctrine was highly doubted.
CAD welcome back! Haven’t seen your name for centuries!
Can you drink a whole bottle of Gefen?
Come on, 42. Thats not fair. A whole bottle of Gefen? That’s one goal even yummy cupcake would find difficult…
btw for the poster you are referring to, maybe the mods can change her subtitle to
az lonng az peepil kann reed yoor postt, itt shudent matterr howw yoo spel .
Miss Spell was my English teacher in school! (jk)
I have the most amazing colorful and unique drawing you ever saw. But you can’t have it for any money in the world. It’s on the wall in my house and there it will stay. Because it’s the one my dear daughter added to our wall…
While we are on the topic of brochos, I have been questioning people asking what the brocha on avocado is? Most say haadama, but I believe haeitz.
What makes you think that “most” say haadama? And why do you “believe” haeitz and not check for sure?
The real name for avocado is avocado pear. Think of this and you’ll know it’s a haeitz! Check any of many english brachos sefarim, though not all have the same bracha for everything!
A Sunmaid mini box of raisins :~}
Chavrusa thanx tonz! Perfect answer with ?????? also! Amazing!
This thread is without a doubt the cream of the coffeeroom. The whole coffeeroom is kidai only for this thread.
Maybe someone can help me here. The ???? does not give the name of the man that ???? killed. ??? says it was ???? ???? ?? ??? ?????. Some say it was ??????? ?? ???????. But the ???? of ??? ????? was ??? ?? ???? as brought in the beginning of ???? ??? ??. So when did this change or when did his name change?
The chofetz chaim zatzal has a beautiful vort on this that does not explain why they said their father was not involved with korach but does explain why moshe had to ask hashem and did not answer himself.
He says that the reason he asked hashem is not because it was too difficult for him to answer, but that once they had said ???? ?? ??? ???? ???? ??????? ?? ? ???? ???, then ??? felt he can no longer judge their case as that could be considered a bribe, ????. Our father was not with ??? ‘s group against you but was on your side.
So he had to go ask hashem got a teshuva!
But the question is a great question and SaysMe I like your answer!
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