Forum Replies Created
The inventor of autocorrect died today, may he restaurant inn pieces. His funfair will be held next monkey.
I wander in from time to time. Do not recognize many posters nowadays, anyone actually remember me? I used to be a regular
I just think that most of the old timers are such old timers that they can not remember their log in details
We just had Rosh Chodesh Adar
Which tells us that Purim’s not far
So let us restart
For those posters most smart
This limerick thread repertoire
Of costumes original and funny
Like Mr Bean or of Buggs Bunny
Or a shlach monos idea
You saw in Korea
Or good ways to bring in some money
Good Purim Torah we will appreciate
And the author of it you should indicate
(This important feedback
Brings Moshiach as payback)
If unsure then please could you estimate
Make your own Purim categories
Of humor or your Purim stories
We look forward indeed
To your limericks to read
But if you can not then no worries
Mishenichnas Adar marbim besimcha
We’re soon gonna lein the Megilla
Then please do not flunk
The best time to be drunk
As is brought down several times in Kabbalah
Will you dress as a Mexican wall
Or similar ideas of gall
But ensure there’s decorum
Within every quorum
While davening under your shawl
Cause Purim’s extremely Holy
So every Tefillah say it slowly
And you can achieve
More than you can believe
No Tzaddik has the Monopoly
Your davenning nissim you can tell us
Without risking making us jealous
How something you needed
Thru tefillah you succeeded
To avodas Hashem it will propel us
The best wines for purim (or seder night for that matter) are dry or semi dry wines. With sweet wines, the sugar goes to your head and makes you feel nauseous
“look, up in the sky, its a bird, its a plane, its…..Haman” – Superman reference.
Lol avram but maybe it was one of his siblings and not him. He is one of 57 you know and some of them look very similar.
My question is whether he will be sober enough for the trial. He is always ‘on the bottle’ when I see him and I have witnesses who would swear in court that it’s very difficult to separate him from his bottle, especially if it is a glass bottle
telephoneDecember 22, 2013 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm in reply to: Someone's Having Fun With YWN's New Simcha Section #995067
Hee hee. It was me! (mods feel free to confirm).
Could not resist. Did not actually believe it would go thru due to the concerns raised here by a mamin but the truth is you cannot expect any mod to know and be able to confirm every single simcha! But self-evidently innocent humorous ones like this should be ok
1. Yes it really is very annoying and inconsiderate
2. Yes welcome to Brooklyn
3. Whadayawant from these poor drivers (no pun intended)? What with their cell in one hand and steering wheel in the other, they do not have a hand free with which to signal
Good question but just translate ?? ?????: We are thanking for, among other things, ??? ??????? ????? ???????? – for the battles which you carried out on behalf of our forefathers, where ‘? fought for us and helped us win many battles like it says ?’ ???? ???.
For some reason which I do not know (can someone help me out here?) there seems to be an ???? on ????? to mention other battles and ???? that befell ??? ????? and not only in ?? ?????.
I mean, if you look at the famous ????? song of ???? ??? carefully, it has no special connection with ????? more than ???? ??? ?????/ ???? ????? / ??? / ??? / ???? who are all also mentioned. The ????? are just one in a list of various troubles that we have endured. Why we only say it on ????? I do not know! Do you know?
???? ?? ??? – .MiamiDecember 3, 2013 8:55 pm at 8:55 pm in reply to: Tal Umatar will never fall on Zos Chanuka ever again – by a drunken popa #991331
Popa you are wrong, you self confessed big fat jerk. It’s like this every 19 years. The next time is Sunday 5 Dec 2032 then Wednesday 5 Dec 2051 followed by Friday 5 Dec 2070, Monday 5 Dec 2089….
Oh and while I’m on about future cycles, let me be the first to warn you that in 7 yrs time they are doing ??? ???? before ???? in daf yomi!
we were in a pizza store when this loud American bunch came in and decided to order 3 pizzas with mushrooms. One of the group after assuring the rest that he speaks Hebrew well, marched up and announced:
????? ????? ??? ???? ?? ??????
What??? You seriously mean to tell us that you slept right thru the entire maseches rosh hashana??? You great big fat jerk!
Thanks everyone for your welcomes and kind words. FYI I did grasp the dough and pull the challa away from it because of ????.
I heard that a brisker told his rav that after shul on shabbos morning he always finds his wife engrossed in conversation with other women outside shul and she won’t leave unless he pulls her away. He asked the rav whether this is a problem of ????.
The rav replied that it depends whether he was taking ???? ???? ????? or ????? ???? ???? …
You don’t really have to be quick
To write out a short limerick
It’s as easy as can be
And really is not a big ‘shtick’
You’re a poster with great discerning
Show us how a limerick award you’re earning
You can be fantastic
With the grace of a gymnastic
Real soon some great limericks you’ll be churning!
You’re like the schoolboy who lives in Japan
His limericks they never would scan
And when they asked him but why
He would say with a sigh
“It’s because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can!”
It’s not fair to label all williamsburgers in such a poor light. Be ?? ??? ????.
Perhaps the reason why nobody greeted you was that they were all depressed cause due to NYC marathon security concerns, NYPD advised all Williamsburg residents that they were not allowed to use their crockpots over Shabbos
Purim Costumes Very Cheap Now
Lulavim and esrogim are even cheaper
A man came home from shul on ??? ????? ????? and found his son still asleep in the ????.
“Get up” he shouted at him, “what’s with davening?”
So his son replied “Sorry dad but I’m being ????? the ???? of ???? now and ????? ????? ???? ?? ?????”.
So the father pushed the son hard till he fell out of bed with a bump. “Why did you do that” complained the son. “Why, did it hurt you?” asked his father. “Yes” replied the son. Said the father “Ah so now you are ????? and a ????? is ???? from ????! So now you can go to Shul!”
?? ???? ?? ????!
You’ll never believe this but last night we went shopping and guess what – she decided to try writing a shopping list. I was shocked but she said she’ll see how it goes. So off we went.
And at the store she put her hand in her pocket to get the list and her face dropped. She had left it behind! I’m serious. Can you believe it? She did not even remember to bring it! You simply cannot rely on women for anything! So we had to do it all from memory.
And later when we checked the list, how many things do you think we had forgotten?
None. Zero. Nill. Gurnisht. Nikto.
(ps @notasheep since I had my kids, my memory is also not what it used to be… and I’m a guy!)
Wishing all posters, readers, floaters, trolls and of course mods a fantastic ??? ???!!!
Don’t rely on me for your ????? ??????? reminder!
Leave your watch/clock at home. It works!
This is similar to my well tried and tested method.
The more you watch the time, the slower time moves. But if you haven’t looked at a clock for a while then oh wow another 2 hours have passed.
My tip is to virtually not look at the clock the entire day BECAUSE THERE IS NO NEED TO!
My time schedule on yom kippur does not consist of hours and minutes but stages of davenning. I say to myself the time now is eg early part of shacharis or middle of musaf or towards the end of mincha etc. This way I find the day moves much quicker.
If this tip helps anyone else then it was worth the time to post it.
Wishing everyone a ??? ????? ???? and an easy fast!
We didn’t get to ????? on ??? ???? so we decided to go today. As we were about to go, my little one said “where are my aveiros? I need to take them with and feed them to the fishies”
Our gemara Rebbe always told us: “your yarmulka should cover your brain so it depends how clever you are!”
…I thought the sun set behind my neighbor’s
house, and was very proud to live nearby.
When I was younger I thought my parents were SO ancient. Now I realize that “young” me is now even older than they were then…
BH for BH! What a great thread. Pls do one for each ??? ???
Excuse me 42. You keep out of this. You’re only
(about) half of what 80 is…
POSTED 2 YEARS AGO #
This name is already taken
I have 2 subtitles both of which aren’t listed.
shticky- are you mod 42?
POSTED 1 DAY AGO #
No I am not, but boy you’re a fast reader!
Hi Eclipse I love your threads and posts. Thanks for the entertainment! (though I hardly visit the coffeeroom any more. Haven’t been here for decades!)
I agree. Many of the guys I dated made me lose my apetite.
and have been known to say Good Shabbos to people of the opposite gender, whether I knew them or not
If only we would at least even greet people of the SAME gender instead of ignoring them and walking by!July 12, 2013 1:10 pm at 1:10 pm in reply to: How many grammatical and spelling errors have I made here? (Shudder, Shudder!) #965091
Think you very mush two: golpher, sez me, Dee why, chewish femnist, and of coarse to the fownder, precedent, weiss precedent, end the sea eh ow of the see aargh welcum wagun.
Where is haifagirl when you knead her? Seams ewe can spell with her butt ewe can knot count on her… ðŸ™‚July 12, 2013 6:45 am at 6:45 am in reply to: How many grammatical and spelling errors have I made here? (Shudder, Shudder!) #965089
I had to stop after 2 lines because it is too painful to read this
Why is this thread different to any other?
Cant believe my eyes! Hello and shalom alecha! How you doin’? Dont know if to say welcome back or not cos it doesnt sound as if you are back.
And can you believe it! The 1st time she’s back on she’s already opening threads… :o)
yekke2 thank you that’s a wonderful ???? that I did not know and would explain that example well.
What about the other examples that I gave?
I agree. YWN has adverts for womens clothing on mannequins that clearly display the female form. Totally inappropriate for a yeshiva site.
Also, when YWN radio plays a song that I do not like I flick over to one of several similar sites. One of them, Jewish Hits, had an ad advertising the Mormons! It said Click here to improve… I immediately emailed them approx a month ago questioning this and said if I do not receive a reply I will delete their bookmark, spread the word and bln never visit them again. And guess what – I am still waiting for a reply. Makes me wonder…
While I wait for an answer to my question above, I’ll share with you a question that I had while learning ??? last week. ??? says on ?? ??? that although the ??? flattened all mountains in front of them, but 3 mountains remained: ?? ???? ?????, ??? ??? ?????? ???, ??? ??? ?????? ???? (these are not in chronological order).
What about other mountains that we know remained?
For example the mountains surrounding ?? ???? that we know were arguing over which of them should be the one the ???? would be given on? (Perhaps we can suggest that once ??? ????? arrived there the others were flattened?).
And what about the mountains that ??? himself brings later that the ??????? were hiding in to attack ??? ????? and both mountains squashed together and killed them as ??? ????? passed thru? (Can we maybe say that they were kept to protect ??? ????? and even parted after so that ??? ????? would see what had happened and this is why they remained?)
But why did ??? not mention that these also remained standing? He says only 3 stayed.
And what about ?? ?????? + ?? ???? ?
A California pest exterminator service:
A Disposal Company:
On a Fence:
At a Car Dealership:
At the Electric Company:
I know this is a little late but I forgot to post this a couple of weeks ago.
At the end of ??? ?? is the ???? of ???. Many ?????? for example the ??? ?????? say that ????? has the ?????? of ???? cuz ????? is 600, plus the 8 threads and 5 knots equals 613.
The problem is that all 3 times that ????? is mentioned, it is spelled ???? which only comes to 603.
Can anyone provide a good explanation? I heard a pshetl, but I’m looking for a real answer.
I cannot believe that nobody has mentioned being vulture-pecked by the shvigger!
(not that I am against all shviggers chas v’shalom; I think my wife has an amazing shvigger).June 5, 2013 2:55 pm at 2:55 pm in reply to: How often do you read the "Nightly D'Var Torah" thread? #957073
the most amazing ???? ???? on that thread, mainly from the same few posters. Come on everyone (incl myself!)
Read each sentence in sequence. Please don’t skip any steps or the mathematics will be thrown off.*****************************
Take the following test mentally. Don’t write down answers and don’t shout them out. *****************************
1. Pick a number from 2 to 9. It can be 2 or 9, or any number in-between. *****************************
2. Take your number and multiply it by 9. *****************************
3. That should give you a 2 digit number. Take these 2 digits and add them together. *****************************
4. Take the resulting number and subtract 5 from it. *****************************
5. Take that number and correspond it to the alphabet, numbering the letters. A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4 and so on. *****************************
6. Take your letter, and think of a country that begins with that letter. *****************************
7. Take the last letter in the name of that country, and think of an animal that starts with this letter. *****************************
8. Now, take the last letter in the name of that animal, and think of a color that starts with this letter. *****************************
That’s it. You have finished the test. Now before you reveal your final answer, . . . . . * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It is assur, and against the Torah
Both of those things? Maybe only one?
@WIY Why Puerto Rico? These bikes do not have hub caps… ðŸ™‚
Goq lol !
You can easily move the cr back to the left. Simply adjust the margins on your computer…
As pointed out, ShtickyGuy has not disappeared but took upon himself to surf/post less. But nobody besides a mod can award single user names and even mods cannot be certain. But thanks everyone for the shoutouts anyway!
and any other username I may have forgotten
the troll hador
Lol. However, threads about the troll hador, especially those mentioning him by name in the thread name, surely encourage him to continue in his sick endeavours.
Incidentally, OOC could also mean:
Out of Character – but he does not have one
Operations Control Center – yes, definitely for control freaks who love to control conversations and threads
Original/Obscure Character Creator – he’s the #1 character creator
Ontario Chamber of Clowns – he could well be the founding member
Orange County Criminals – self explanatory
Office of Citizen Complaints – set up in response to constant trolling
Order of the Caribbean Community – who knows where he comes from?
Officially Certified Cychopath – oh no, my spelling has let me down again
ICOT, I understand that some threads are deemed inappropriate and not approved.
I also (usually) understand why threads sometimes need closing after they go down a certain path.
But I never understood threads where the OP is approved but the thread is then immediately closed. Especially ones litoeles harabim such as the one you mention.
Would the esteemed, beloved and respected Mod reading this post, or any others drinking coffee with him in the Mods staff room care to enlighten us? Thank you.
not sure why it was closed. I will reopen it, and if the mod who closed it decides it should be closed they can reclose it.
Yaakov Avinu and Moshe Rabbeinu didn’t wear hats and jackets, either…
Of course they didnt. That could have led to machlokes, with future doros being medayek exactly what they wore: bent up or bent down hat, borsalino, brandalino, stetson or roche, black, grey or navy, wide or narrow brim, high or low ribbon, with or without the brand name on the bow, gekneitched, sameter, beaver, turban, fez, beret, sombrero, bowler hat, perhaps Moshe wore a bush hat?
As to their suits, was it a langer rekel, a frak, with buttons on the back or not, a beketcher, a saville row suit, right over left, left over right, a robe etc. etc.
So instead they left us in no doubt at all as to their true affiliation, and as my kids school picture precisely and accurately showed a couple of years ago, Moshe Rabbeinu proudly and decisively led us out of Mitzraim… wearing a Streimel!!May 12, 2013 6:43 pm at 6:43 pm in reply to: May one eat milky and meaty during the same meal without bentching in between? #1017643
I think that all you need to transition from milchigs to fleishigs is kinuach and hadacha, no?
And a change of tablecloth (says mishnah berurah quoted in the OP).