WolfishMusings

Right now make sure your Talis and Tefilin bags are labeled with your name and phone numbers.

Heh. Mine has all that — and my email address.

I even started putting my email address (along with my name) on the inside covers of new seforim that I buy.

The Wolf

I think we need to ask a sh’ailas chacham on this one… 🙂

The Wolf

BT’s can simply take on the minhagim of their rebbe.

Why would their rabbeim’s minhagim be any more “accurate” than ones they pick out themselves?

The Wolf

A person who isn’t fake.

Fake in what respect? Every person is “real” to some extent or other, if only by virtue of the fact that they actually exist.

Since you are the one asking the question, please define what you mean by “real” and “isn’t fake?”

The Wolf

SHAME ON YOU! Such apikorsus!!!

I agree. You allow this and the next thing you know, people are serving non-brown shabbos food and civilization is careening towards a fiery, apocalyptic end.

The Wolf

I posted this a while back. I guess it’s appropriate for this thread:

A few years ago, Eeees and I attended a Bar Mitzvah given by a family in our neighborhood. Over the previous two years, we had become friendly with the family, had them over to our house for meals, invited them to our son’s Bar Mitzvah and now attended the Bar Mitzvah of their oldest son.

This Bar Mitzvah was not like the Bar Mitzvah that we had for our son. We had separate seating, they had mixed seating. All of our music was Jewish, theirs had quite a few secular tunes. Ours had a mechitza for dancing, theirs didn’t. At theirs, the DJ gave away a giant blowup Simpson’s couch to the best dancers (thank God our kids didn’t come away with that – they were orange! 🙂 ). We didn’t have a DJ or prizes. But that’s fine… no one has to do things our way, or their way.

During the festivities, Eeees and I talked about how our Bar Mitzvah was different from this and concluded that this type of affair was not one that we would have. If we had Walter’s Bar Mitzvah to do over again, we would probably do it the same way again. Aside from the separate seating (which we did for other reasons), we preferred the way we did it to the way this Bar Mitzvah went. That’s not to say that this Bar Mitzvah wasn’t good… we had a great time, and loved being present to help celebrate our friend’s simcha. It’s just not the way we would do it… but that’s fine – as I said above, two people don’t have to celebrate the same simcha the same way.

One of the things that we talked about at the affair was how we seem to be somewhere in-between several different mehalchim (paths). We’re not Yeshivish, yet I wouldn’t say that we’re really Modern Orthodox either. This past Shabbos we ate with a family who could be described as Yeshivish, maybe even Chareidi-like… and we were comfortable and had a great time. At the same time, we are also comfortable with our friends who just had the Bar Mitzvah, and they are clearly Modern-Orthodox and have a good time with them as well. We daven in a shul that could be described as Yeshivish, but yet has many people who are not in the Yeshivish mold. I don’t wear a hat, nor do I cover my head with my tallis, and yet I am the regular ba’al kriah there and sometime ba’al tefillah as well. We hang around with people who are to the “right” of us and the “left” of us. So, where do we fit? What’s our “label?” With which community to we belong? That was the question that Eeees asked me yesterday.

I responded to her that you don’t have to buy the whole package from any one group. You can take some elements that you like from the Yeshivish mehalech, and some elements from the Modern Orthodox mehalech and some elements from other mehalchim and synthesize them into your own mehalech. There is no one, I told her (apart from some Chareidim) that say that you have to take the entire package of any one group and live by it. Feel free to borrow from here or from there. Sure, you may not end up fitting neatly into one of the “labels” but who cares? People don’t (or shouldn’t) live their lives to fit into a label — they should live their lives according to the values, ideals and mores that they hold dear and wish to live by. And that’s actually how we’ve been living our lives for the last sixteen years, taking a bit from here and a bit from there to form our own whole. Maybe we should start a new mehalech called “Wolfish?”

It’s very interesting living in-between the different communities. We have a television in our house (and yes, it’s in the living room — not hidden away in our bedroom or in a closet). We go out to movies. I’m a firm believer in higher education (read: college) and critical thinking. I’m a firm believer in encouraging children to ask questions, not stifling them. If you’re a regular reader of my blog, then you know my position on many matters regarding Judaism today. I’m very open about who I am and what I believe.

And yet, Eeees covers her hair — not because of societal pressure, but because she believes that it’s the right thing to do. I learn every day, not because I think it’s an interesting intellectual pursuit or because I think that the learning police are going to catch me if I don’t — I do it because I think it’s the right thing to do. I don’t have secular music at a seudas mitzvah not because I don’t like secular music, but because I think that, for me, it doesn’t have a place at a seudas mitzvah. I monitor which television shows my kids watch, what movies they see and what internet sites they visit, because I think it’s the right thing to do. (As an aside, George won a Simpsons blow up doll by the Bar Mitzvah. The DJ asked him who he likes better, Bart or Homer. Eeees and I were laughing because we knew that he had no idea who either of them were — we don’t let our twelve year old watch The Simpsons.) We have some definite ideas about what is considered tznius and how a young girl should act. We have rules on how we feel that our sons, as B’nei Torah should act, both in the Bein Adam LaMakom and Bein Adam L’Chaveiro categories. We have standards of kashrus that the kids know that they can’t eat in certain places, even if they are labeled as kosher.

So, we’re neither here nor there. But you know what? I’m happy that way.

The Wolf

(And, no — my kids names aren’t George, Walter, et al… they actually only have Hebrew names.)

What do you mean by a “genuine, real” person? I really don’t know what you’re getting at.

The Wolf

maintaining ones mesorah

What if one has no mesorah or minhag avos?

The Wolf

I guess my negative trait is that I’m not in favor of killing the vast majority of humanity.

(reference: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/punishment-for-sodomy)

The Wolf

Tznius.

Except that Tznius (in the respect that MR is indicating) doesn’t apply between a husband and a wife. I’m *allowed* to look at my wife. I’m *allowed* to know that she’s beautiful.

The Wolf

So what IS the lesson from this maaisa of Avrohom not having looked at Sara?

I believe MR included that in the OP.

This is the ideal that the Torah wants. Avrohom and Sorah are the model for a yiddishe marrage. Just like Avrohom never looked at Sorah and certinly never socialized with her, so too we should strive to reach this goal with our own wifes. Halevai if any man could say that he didnt know his wife was pretty becuz he never looked at her.

The Wolf

if there is an ambulance in the restaurant, thats not a good sign

I was always ambivalent about the ambiance in an ambulance.

The Wlf

Long pants are needed for shul. Jackets are optional. As we watch societal standards for behavior and dress go lower and lower, the need for shall we say vigilance to maintain a reasonable standard is needed.

I’m curious… what would you say if you were in a society where *no one* wears long pants? I imagine that there might be some places where shorts are the norm and long pants the exception.

The Wolf

FWIW, in my house, Sunday night is almost always “Shabbos leftover night.” As a result, there are very few, if any, foods that are specifically reserved for Shabbos. Even the challah that Eeees bakes for Shabbos is eaten through the week.

The Wolf

He thinks hes better than everyone else.

If you’ve followed me on these boards long enough, you’d know that I most certainly do NOT think that.

The Wolf

And in certain parts of Africa formal wear can consist of practically nothing.

Laughing about the extreme poverty of others is in very poor taste. People in portions of Africa wear next to nothing because they *have* next to nothing.

Instead of mocking the poorest among us on Earth (talk about Loeg L’Rush), how about thanking God that (a) you have what to eat and wear and that (b) even if you didn’t, you live in a society where, thanks to the charity of Jews and non-Jews alike, almost no one is forced to go naked or hungry.

The Wolf

If you dont stop what is happening in you house then you are indirectly allowing it to continue.

I don’t have a policy against my kids jumping into the Grand Canyon. Does that mean that I allow it to happen?

real-brisker should be not allowed to post.

Just curious who you think you are that you think you should be the arbiter of who should be allowed to post and who not?

The Wolf

Mint.com (a personal finance website) had an excellent article on buying at warehouse clubs, titled “Buying in Bulk: When Do You Really Save at the Warehouse Club?”

http://www.mint.com/blog/how-to/warehouse-clubs-06282010/

Short answer: Maybe… but you have to be careful.

The Wolf

The keywords are ?????? ??????

So they are… I failed to notice that.

I guess I’m safe on that count (for what it’s worth).

The Wolf