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ooks are not a factor- since the chassidish boys haven’t been looking at girls since they are 13 (or earlier) so as long as a girl is not ugly – she has a big chance since she is not being compared to a rock star…
Color me skeptical… but I somehow doubt the biological urge that plagues males the world over is somehow magically missing in chassidic teens.
They may not admit it, but if you really believe that Chassidic boys don’t think (and at least sneak peeks at) girls, then I might have a bridge to sell you.
The Wolf
Why? Are Litvish people made from a different kind of blood than Chasidish people?
No, but they might have a different cultural background, upbringing and expectations.
The Wolf
The fundamental difference between an older single and an agunah is that an older single could, if she were so inclined, marry the first halachically eligible man she comes across. An agunah, OTOH, cannot marry anyone (except, possibly to return to her “husband”). Equating the two is clearly wrong.
The Wolf
Just wondering which circle of the netherworld I’m going to for marrying a younger girl.
The Wolf
“Slow down; you move too fast.”
anybody have any idea why???
Because you’ve got to make the moment last.
Apparently the administrators of the CR are Simon & Garfunkel fans…
The Wolf (who is Feelin’ Groovy)
Blogger? What’s a blogger? 🙂
The Wolf
OK, let’s do this.
So, volvie, why is it that exchanging phone numbers, which might lead to indecency is bad, but driving, which can lead to worse, is okay?
The Wolf
So you’ve already written off a certain number of Bas Yisroel as having no potential to ever get married – even with the age gap being addressed!?
Realistically speaking, there will *always* be a certain percentage of the population that does not marry.
The Wolf
I know this may sound like a revolutionary and shocking idea, but…
… how about letting the parents decide if it’s appropriate for their minor children to have a Blackberry?
The Wolf
To bring this thread back to its original topic:
I only set up a single couple in my life. In short, a good friend of mine married a good friend of Eeees’s. We didn’t want to accept anything for shadchanus (as their happiness was reward in and of itself). Nonetheless, they insisted and gave me a gift certificate to a seforim shop (neither of them were particularly well off). Eeees also got something from her friend, but I don’t remember what.
Consider the fact that they got divorced a number of years later, I suppose I’m lucky that they haven’t come back and asked for a refund. 🙂
The Wolf
The danger of boy/girl indecency is far greater and far more serious with far more tragic consequences and a potentially far greater sin than the potential for loshon hara via telephone.
OK, so let’s up the stakes…
If you start allowing girls and guys to drive, it will lead to injuries and fatalities. No, not in every case; maybe not even in most cases. But it will happen, and that is why the rabbonim shlita are resolutely and vigorously opposed to it.
Wait, what… they’re not? 🙂
The Wolf
If you start allowing girls to exchange their phone numbers with guys, it will lead to indecency. No, not in every case; maybe not even in most cases. But it will happen, and that is why the rabbonim shlita are resolutely and vigorously opposed to it.
And if you allow people to talk on the telephone, it will lead to lashon hara. No, not in every case; maybe not even in most cases. But it will happen, and that is why the rabbonim shlita are resolutely and vigorously opposed to it.
Wait, what… they’re not? 🙂
The Wolf (who had the audacity to look up the phone number of a girl he was interested in.)
Yes, I know all about the “heteirim” to do so, but how does a person expect to begin a healthy relationship based on a lie?
It’s a tough call.
I know of a single who was looking for someone “from 25 to 35.” I then asked her what if someone who was 36 came along but would otherwise make you happy, would you turn him down?” The answer I got was no, which shows that while people specify age, it’s not always a red line issue. If all other things are good, they may be willing to move a year or two in the other direction. However, when searching a database, the single would have chosen 25 to 35 and would never have seen the 36 year old who might have made her happy. As a result, I can understand why people lie about their ages on line by a year or two.
That being said, while I understand it, I don’t condone it. I agree with you, Yanky, that a marriage is based on trust and lying about one’s age is a lousy way to start a marriage. I would probably have a real difficulty marrying someone who lied to me about something as elemental as their age. I’d also question their intelligence for lying about something that in the end will have to come out in the open anyway — it’s not like she can really keep her true age hidden (in the U.S.).
The Wolf
I said before deciding to marry someone.
Fair enough. I misunderstood you. My apologies.
The Wolf
Volvie,
So, you consulted a rav about every girl you dated?
The Wolf
That wouldn’t be a bad idea. Though failing that, I would certainly strongly suggest getting Daas Torah prior to going through with any particular shidduch.
Really? You would ask a rav before each and every shidduch attempt?
The Wolf
Thank you squeak.
The Wolf
Signifcant things need haskama
Ok, what’s significant?
Or, more specifically, why is Frumster “significant?”
The Wolf
It is rude. But when people are harried and hectic, they sometimes say things they otherwise wouldn’t. It sounds like your neighbor is in that situation.
Just let it go. It’s not worth bearing a grudge over.
The Wolf
Please stop making laytzanus
I’m not. I’m seriously asking you to clarify for me what things need a gadol’s haskama and what don’t.
The Wolf
OK, so I suppose you don’t want to hear about my vacation to the Hoover Big Wall That Holds Back Water. Nor, I suppose, do you want to hear about a horse’s mother. 🙂
You really don’t use the word “dam” for the wall?
The Wolf
So then, HIE, please clarify…
What sort of things need a gadol’s haskama and what don’t?
The Wolf
And you missed it completely. What ever happened to dan l’kaf z’chus?
The Wolf
Ah, okay, so I suppose you object to the word that represents a wall holding back a large body of water because the homophone of it can used in a bad way as well?
The Wolf
Everything in life needs a haskama from a gadol?
Thesedays yes
So, I should call a gadol before I decide whether to paint my kitchen white or blue?
Did you consult with a gadol before posting your last post?
The Wolf
So the objection is for a woman making a formal bracha over a kos. Thank you for the clarification.
The Wolf
It is geneivah to get payed for working while ur blogging
Sigh.
So quick to call me a ganav! You don’t know if I’m on lunch or not? Or taking an allowed break? Or even if I can do this as long as I get my work done.
Why so quick to condemn?
The Wolf
HIE,
I will respect your wishes, but I’m still curious as to *why* you think that way. You obviously don’t find the English language offensive, so why do you find that word offensive* but not the Hebrew equivalent.
The Wolf
* Again, talking in a case where it’s not being used as a swear word. When it is, I understand your objection.
Volvie,
It’s a simple question — do you mean that women shouldn’t make a bracha on a kos or they shouldn’t drink at all? Or did you mean something else.
Why won’t you answer it?
The Wolf
Sigh. I have two in my house. Some of us go to work during the day.
The Wolf
Yes it does
Why?
The Wolf
As I said… we’ll just agree to disagree. 🙂
The Wolf
I’ve never heard a rav use the term HyperText Transfer Protocol either.
Please answer the question I asked — in a situation where it’s not used as a swear word, why do you not object to “gehenim” but you do object to the English equivalent.
The Wolf
Because I don’t have a MB handy. And you’re the one who made the statement.
The Wolf
Any Gedolim give an haskama on this?
Does using a dating website require a rabbinic haskama?
The Wolf
Volvie,
Why not clarify your statement?
The Wolf
Odd. You don’t have a problem with the term “gehenim,” do you?
It would be one thing if I was using the word as a swear word, but if I was using it as a metaphysical/spiritual place (as I was), how is it any different than using “gehenim?”
The Wolf
But if you’re using terms like “mareh mkomos,” I suspect you knew that already.
The Wolf
I don’t find that word offensive — but if you do, I shall refrain from doing so in the future. My apologies.
The Wolf
I think you’re wrong… as you were on the eruv issue – but okay. So we agree to disagree.
The Wolf
In short:
After defending themselves on 13 Adar, Esther asked the king for permission for the Jews in Shushan to do the same on 14 Adar. As a result, the Jews all over the world rested from fighting their enemies on 14 Adar, while the Jews in Shushan did so on the 15th.
The Wolf
I’ve determined that we were going to shidduch hell because we used a blue tablecloth (with a plastic) this past Shabbos. 🙂
The Wolf
What is the meaning of this dAy
See Esther, chapter 9.
The Wolf
rma says that those who don’t eat hot food are apikursim…
Yes, but that’s because they are showing with their actions* that they don’t hold of TSBP. I don’t think the same applies here with fish.
The Wolf
* Of course, that only applies if you do so purposely because you believe it’s the halacha. I’ve had cold-only meals on Shabbos (for taste/convenience reasons, especially in the summertime) and that doesn’t make me an apikorus.
I’ve never used Frumster, so I can’t answer anything about it anyway.
However, I think you’ll have much better luck with results if you ask *specific* questions.
The Wolf
unseemly for a woman to do this
Volvie,
Can you please elaborate what the “this” is in your sentence. Is it make a bracha on a kos? Is it drink wine at all? Or is there some other meaning?
The Wolf
Google is your friend.
Kovno, 1943, R. Ephraim Oshry.
Google “Esrog ghetto” It’s the first link.
The Wolf
My opinion on women drinking is no different than my opinion on men drinking. If you can do so responsibly, then by all means do so.
The Wolf
Whose opinion?
Nor, I should point out, did he allow any of his kids (who are all over Bar/Bat Mitzvah) to get drunk either.
The Wolf