zogt_besser

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  • in reply to: Kumzitz on the Hudson – 2016 – Kosher or Disgusting? #1177187

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    which part bothers you the most?

    1. kumzitz

    2. gourmet food

    3. boat

    in reply to: Gan Eden or Gehenom? #1174145

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    “kol yisrael” is the first line of the first mishnah in perek cheilek of sanhedrin. look at the next line, where the mishnah immediately gives a whole bunch of exceptions to that rule. the rambam adds additional exceptions hil. teshuvah perek 3.

    in reply to: Dating question #1176482

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Joseph- it seems like you’re still bothered by this inyan, even after people have cited the Tzitz Eliezer who is matir in general and a shiur by Rav Frand who disagrees with you. Do you reject that there is another legitimate shitah out there? Or are you just encouraging people to be machmir, while still recognizing that others reject your premise “halacha says men first” ?

    in reply to: Gan Eden or Gehenom? #1174141

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Pirkei Avos says one hour in olam haba is more geshmak than all the pleasures of olam hazeh. presumably an hour in gehenom is more painful than all the tzaros of olam hazeh. Note though, that there is no physicality in that world (berachos 17a), so none of the punishments or rewards will be anything we can fully understand. Perhaps it’ll be an “awareness,” like certain posters are claiming.

    in reply to: Games not for Shabbos #1211591

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    “you are not allowed to play a game on Shabbos that normally involves writing”

    this is the view of the chayei adam. online, I read a rav who quoted R’ Scheinberg saying that it’s mutar if you’re really really careful. I like your approach a lot though; a very creative way to avoid the issue altogether.

    in reply to: Dating question #1176460

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    I think chivalry is deeply rooted in human nature and innate gender differences. It makes sense and it works, notwithstanding certain feminist protestations. chochma bagoyim taamin… Given all that, why shouldn’t frum Jews do the same?

    in reply to: Dating question #1176459

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Joseph: Chivalrous acts are meant to prove that a man has certain good middos that we wouldn’t necessary expect; they aren’t natural. Specifically, in being chivalrous, a man says to the woman that he’s not just going to bring home the bacon and provide for her financially, but also cares about more than just her survival, and will anticipate her needs (not just hand her a paycheck and go watch football). A man has to prove these middos thru chivalry, but a woman does not because she tends to have them more innately.

    in reply to: Dating question #1176453

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Given the sorry state of men and masculinity in today’s society, these acts of chivalry seem like a good idea. Opening a car door for a woman might not be mandated by halacha, but it’s a small way to show you care about them, and makes them feel taken care of (which is important because women tend to be more nurturing).

    in reply to: Are ther Bedouin who didn't wear hats during Davening #1176649

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    to the OP:

    In yeshiva I had a friend who did the same thing. He asked a shailah to a YU rosh yeshiva (who wears a hat) if he could wear his hat when he went home, since he lived in an MO community. The answer was that he could do it, as long as he didn’t show off and it didn’t make a big scene.

    in reply to: Being a vegetarian #1170387

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    “many great rabbis”

    How many do you know? The only ones I’m familiar with are R. Jonathan Sacks and a few random students of Rav Kook. It’s highly unusual and even the latter tend to eat meat on shabbos.

    in reply to: Being a vegetarian #1170383

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    It seems okay, though even Rav Kook saw it as an ideal and did not think vegetarianism should be the ideal until mashiach comes. l’maiseh, one issue you’d have is on yom tov, where many poskim (rambam, tur, etc) say you have to eat meat. Others say you don’t though (Tosafos, Ran, Magen Avraham). Ask your rav if you would be allowed to forgo meat on y”t, and it’s probably fine.

    in reply to: Survey – for men only #1170868

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    If you care about food quality, it should be very important. If you are working full time and coming home late but want to eat well and healthy (in addition to your kids), you’ll need your wife to cook. Even among goyim, women still do most of the cooking.

    in reply to: Do you think it's ok to bring your kids to the beach? #1177350

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    it’s assur, unless you can find a time and place where you’re absolutely sure no one else will be around. this is unlikely though, so just do something else.

    in reply to: Dating question #1176449

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    It’s a bit more complicated than that. On this topic from the website ‘revach’ (which is operated by big talmidei chachamim):

    “Today, says the Tzitz Eliezer (and Rav Vosner ybc”l concurs), in a situation where you’d like to be respectful and courteous, you need not refrain from doing so because of this gemara, and we can rely on the Trumas HaDeshen.”

    in reply to: Stealing permitted in order to save ones life? #1153397

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Yes, it’s mutar to steal in order to save your life (or someone else’s)–befeirush din in choshen mishpat 359:4. You do have to pay back, though. I’ve never heard that you can steal to learn Torah. That sounds like mitzvah haba ba’aveirah.

    in reply to: men going to mikvah on shabbos #1152697

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    A man can go to the mikvah on shabbos morning. Just don’t use hot water (see mishnah berurah 326:7).

    in reply to: When Minhag Trumps Halacha #1180426

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    I think it’s important for people to realize the theological significance of what DY is saying about minhagim. The idea that “we assume that they must have had halachic justification” isn’t just some lame post-hoc excuse. Rather, it’s a very ancient feature of the system. Even in the gemara, we have amoraim saying “puk chazi” to decide halacha. Moreover, there is a concept of “im lo neviim hem, bnei neviim hem,” which establishes Bnei Yisroel’s credentials to create minhagim, and for rabbonim to assume that what they practice is right. Even the gezeiros of the sanhedrin have to be accepted by the am, and if most people find a gezeirah too hard, it is annulled! All of these principles (and more) clarify that being melamed zechus on minhagim isn’t just intellectual laziness, but a function of our kedushas yisrael and a very ancient feature of the system.

    in reply to: women wearing sweaters meant for men #1151578

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    there certainly are differences between the sweaters of each gender (size, shape, pattern, neckline, etc). The issue is that since a men’s sweater is actually more tznius than a women’s, perhaps the issur doesn’t apply. The gemara says the whole point of outlawing crossdressing is to promote tznius (“kedei shelo teilech bein ha’anashim”). Is it being darshinan taima d’kra to say that if you’re not breaking tznius (and fakert, strengthening it!), then it’s mutar to wear the clothing item?

    in reply to: When Minhag Trumps Halacha #1180419

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    The Pri Megadim (O.C. 690:21) says klapping for Haman is a hefsek, and discourages it for that reason. Interestingly, no other major acharonim agree. An online article I saw suggests that since klapping is a kiyum of timcheh es zeicher amalek/shem rishaim yirkav, the concern of hefsek is irrelevant.

    in reply to: Shidduchim for Jews of color #1150954

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    it’s a complicated question with lots of things to consider. For example, how amenable is the giyores’s family to her conversion and to Jews in general? There has historically (since the ’60s) been a lot of friction between Jews and blacks, for example. Another consideration is politics- most minorities are liberal and most frum Jews are conservative, so that could be a sticking point. Finally, the gap in knowledge could be problematic. The husband will need to step it up and take the bulk of responsibility for raising a talmidei chachomim, sharing divrei Torah at the shabbos table, helping kids with their limudei kodesh homework, etc. Those are big responsibilities that are best shared…

    So while I as a single would have no issues going on a date w/ a giyores, I’d be more skeptical of it working out.

    in reply to: Should frum children have a library card? ✡️👪📚💳 #1149631

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    it depends what section you’re in. libraries have plenty of innocuous (and very educational) books about history, politics, biographies, geography, sports, money management, language learning, etc. Red flags go up when you get to novels, modern poetry, dating advice, etc.

    So if you have a good relationship with your kid, you’ll just talk about the books they got (ask for the receipt in case they’re hiding some) and see if anything is objectionable. If it is, explain why and return. Personally, I think the problem with libraries isn’t shmutz or apikorsus, but rather bitul zman. For smart kids who like to read but need more motivation, it’s easy to get lazy and read library books instead of learning Torah. And that’s one reason why yeshiva is so great and important, as Yekke said earlier.

    in reply to: talmud yerushalmi #1148389

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    neville- those sefardim you know seem to be mixing shitos (rambam and s”a). Rambam specifically says “bein basar beheima bein basar ohf” you have to wait “kimo sheish shaos.” And s”a specifically says 6 hours for all types of meat.

    in reply to: talmud yerushalmi #1148383

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    from “dose of halacha .com”:


    zogt_besser
    Participant

    that’s what the or hachaim says, but it’s a big peleh why he says that and what his source is.

    in reply to: Why do they teach girls to sound like Harrys? #1145006

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    for all who asked: harry is a term for guys that are yeshivish but its clear they grew up more modernish, fully MO, or maybe just out of town. So they try to fit into yeshivish culture but don’t always get it right or davka do their own thing. For example, wearing a gray hat. Touro is swarming with them.

    in reply to: Eating Humble Pie #1192279

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    exactly- people who trust the OU need to eat humble pie.

    in reply to: Looks in shidduchim #1141892

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    my point is that physical attraction isn’t just healthy and normal, but also often necessary to the success of a marriage. obviously it physical attraction is not sufficient and is not the ikar. But it is a critical tafel. Thus, the OP shouldn’t be ashamed that such a key factor is hindering his dating success.

    in reply to: It’s time to add more chumras #1141469

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    The anti-chumrah people would just say fakert–that because there are so many chumros already, people are misyaeish and give up on everything. It’s impossible to prove either way without talking to the people who are lax on these things.

    in reply to: Looks in shidduchim #1141889

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    there is nothing wrong about wanting to be physically attracted to your wife. that’s why the gemara says it’s imperative to meet the girl before marrying her (shema tisganeh alav) and why you’re allowed to look at a woman you’re dating, even when such histaklus would generally be out of bounds. This is also proven by science. A recent study showed that when asked what qualities matter in choosing a partner, men care about physical beauty a lot more than women do.

    in reply to: age for marriage #1141612

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Sam2: your argument makes intuitive sense, but doesn’t hold water until it is grounded in halachic sources. meheichi teisi that this is an “eitzah tovah,” and that one is not over an issur by being single after a certain age (when the gemara says otherwise)? That kind of logic reminds me of those who use kavod habrios to justify egalitarianism.

    I agree with Joseph here, even if that could make me a choteh down the line (iy’h that won’t happen!).

    in reply to: age for marriage #1141601

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Joseph- thanks. do any modern day poskim say explicitly that we pasken that way? I just find it hard to believe that we would follow a maharshal over a rambam and shulchan aruch/rama.

    in reply to: age for marriage #1141597

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    could someone point me to mareh mekomos that specifically say you can wait until 24 if you’re learning full time? Because I didn’t see that in the rishonim and want to know the sevaros used to justify it.

    in reply to: Best Yeshiva for Modern Boys #1140379

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    It depends what they want and what their skills are. in my own experience, I have found guys from KBY to be fairly shtark, makpid in halacha, and serious about learning. A number of guys I know attended shaalvim and then went on to Mir, so that’s an option Joseph would approve. For an MO kid who is disconnected from Judaism and ignorant of halacha/gemara (which is a significant chunk of kids!), I would personally recommend a kiruv yeshiva like Aish Hatorah. Such kids don’t have any foundation in basic emunah, and can’t learn gemara. so why not start from the beginning?


    zogt_besser
    Participant

    the ikar is that not saying misheberach for the IDF is not a chisaron in hakaras hatov but rather an aversion to creating new tefillos. it is not about zionism or politics; rav y.b. soloveitchik was also very machmir about not changing the matbeiah hatefillh and adding stuff in…

    in reply to: Only When Iran Annihilates The West Completely Will Moshiach Come #1139413

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    presumably because they think it is true. a better question is how Iran could ever get 6,000 bombs when even America only has 7,000.

    in reply to: How do you address people of the opposite sex? #1138095

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Sam2- The actual halacha for not talking to women is not a diyuk from “meod meod” as Joseph said, but rather explicitly from the SA itself (EH 21:6): ??? ?????? ????? ??? ???. The issue of she’eilas shalom is brought up in a number of gemaras; in eiruvin 53, Beruriah criticizes R’ Yosi for saying just a few words too much, on the basis of “al tarbeh sicha im ha’isha.”

    in reply to: How do you address people of the opposite sex? #1138072

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Joseph- Rav Neiman does not answer my question. That’s why I asked it to you.

    in reply to: How do you address people of the opposite sex? #1138068

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Joseph- just wondering, how do you respond when a female co-worker starts making small talk with you?

    in reply to: Sending Shidduch Pictures? #1136010

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    I don’t see the problem with it. physical attraction is, like it or not, an important component of dating. incidentally, halacha is actually very clear that a guy should indeed look (not leer) at the girl to see if he’s attracted to her physically. and if he’s not, then the date will probably be a waste of time.

    in reply to: anniversary outing #1174173

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    since there is no halachic significance to anniversaries, the date you observe it can be the secular date if you so please.

    in reply to: gedolim pictures #1134808

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    that surprises me, since there is a video on youtube with many video clips/photographs of the Satmar Rebbe, shot at close range. And additionally, could you give me some mareh mekomos to modern poskim that state photography is a form of avodah zorah?

    in reply to: gedolim pictures #1134806

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    if a gadol felt it was avodah zorah, why would he ever let someone photograph him just to make the guy “feel good?” There is no justification for that halachically, especially gabei something as chamur as a”z. thus the only objection those gedolim had was al pi kabbalah, nirah li.

    in reply to: gedolim pictures #1134804

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Just like many people post pictures of their spouses and children on their fridges, since those people matter to them, so too they keep pictures of gedolim, since gedolim matter to them.

    in reply to: gedolim pictures #1134799

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    just to be clear, the discomfort with pictures is mainly al pi kabbalah, not halacha. we have plenty of pictures and videos of gedolim taken all the time with their reshus (for example, all the agudah conventions).

    in reply to: 15yo Israeli sees vision of Gog and Magog war #1134437

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    It is ridiculous to believe that a man who refused to give his son a bris milah is mashiach ben yosef.

    in reply to: gedolim pictures #1134797

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    from another ywn thread on this topic (I can’t vouch for the story myself): “R’ Moshe Feinstein used to tell people not to stop kids from taking pictures of gedolim. He said, “Better they should have my picture on the wall instead of a baseball player!”

    in reply to: Time to leave US #1136050

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Mod 29- true, but I respect Joseph’s opinion enough to want to hear it. Even though I disagree with him, I nearly always learn something from hearing his perspective.

    in reply to: Time to leave US #1136049

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    1. we are talking about sakanas nefashos. since september, 23 Jews have died, 19 in the West Bank. So yes, Yerushalayim is very safe, and Tel Aviv (your example) is certainly safe.

    2. your numbers about black on black crime are also off. Roughly half of all murders are by whites and half are by blacks, according to BJS stats for the past 30 years.

    And just so you know, 57% of all religious hate crimes in america are targeted at Jews. for example, I know a girl whose brother got beat up by a black gang on the street just a few months ago, for being Jewish.

    in reply to: Time to leave US #1136044

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    who cares that Jews in Israel are more likely to be killed for being Jews than anywhere else? When evaluating sakanas nefashos we look at statistics (like the murder rate I cited), not kavanos. Additionally, I’ll note that almost all Jews killed for being Jews are murdered in the West Bank. So the streets of Tel Aviv (per your example) are fine.

    in reply to: Time to leave US #1136037

    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Per 1 million people, there are 20 murders in Israel, and 42 in America. Moreover, nearly all the recent murders in Israel have been in the West Bank so walking in Tel Aviv is not any more dangerous.

    Golfer- there is no universal agreement that yishuv e”y applies bizman hazeh. and I’m also unimpresssed by an unnamed great rabbi.

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 180 total)


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