AviraDeArah

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  • in reply to: Public menorah lightings and rooftop menorahs #2038858
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    As it happens to be, i was zocheh to build a relationship with 2 chasidishe rebbehs; I don’t consider myself chasidish, but i do spend time in that world both physically and in my learning – chasidus has had a very big influence on my hashkofos. I love genuine chasidishe Torah, and I have the utmost respect for all groups of chasidim who don’t believe their departed rebbe to be the messiah…even when i am at a loss for an explanation of some minhagim that seem to be at odds with halacha. But the “final say” to me is in the world of bais brisk when there’s any conflict between the two; that’s my personal mesorah and I don’t think it’s any more correct than chasidus; if things had gone a little different in my early 20s, i could have ended up a satmar chossid, but that’s not what hashgocha had in mind.

    in reply to: Public menorah lightings and rooftop menorahs #2038855
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Of course all chasidim refer to their rebbe as “der rebbeh”. I did too when i davened in a chasidishe place with its own rebbe. I didn’t refer to my rebbeh as “the rebbe” if i was talking to someone outside of my shul, because he’s not the rebbeh of everyone. When chabad writes about “the rebbe”, they can be talking to goyim, and he’s “the rebbe”, because he’s everyone’s rebbeh, the “nasi hador”, a messianic candidate, and some say more.

    in reply to: Public menorah lightings and rooftop menorahs #2038738
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Sorry commonsaychel, looks like i believed the quote from you without looking it up – as such i owe you a bracha!

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2038623
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    AAQ, I don’t think it’s circular at all; some rabbis have a mesorah and some have made a name for themselves while either leaving their mesorah or never having had one to begin with. Those who are pure in their beliefs and have spent their lives completely immersed in Torah without admixtures of foreign influence are worthy of having their opinions hallowed and revered as ayin ponim latorah even if average yodeah sefer individuals such as myself may have not been taught that way.

    When a rabbi has a view of Torah mixed with haskalah or any other non-torah influence, that view is not worthy of respect, nor is the person who maintains it viewed as an authority or someone I can’t judge as i would any other non-gadol jew – I’m not out to judge them unfavorably nor do i think that they are all apikorsim, reshoim or what have you. I don’t think rabbi yoshe ber Soloveitchik, or rabbi hershel shechter was/is either of those things. But they are f lawed torah scholars with some opinions based on foreign influences and as such have biases that prevent them from being termed gedolei yisroel to whom i must be machniah. I am machniah myself to many rabbis who were on a lower level of learning than rabbi yoshe ber, but i do so because of their pure Torah minds.

    in reply to: Kiddish/Chillul Hashem #2038619
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    He kept halacha, so it’s a kidush Hashem. Not answering during shemoneh esrei applies even to a king, except for a goyishe king kr other goy who might kill him if he’s mafsik. Being thrown off a olane isn’t pikuach nefesh, so answering to avoid the suffering is no better than if a snake is wrapped around one’s leg – what he did was the ratzon Hashem and is a bonafide kidush Hashem.

    in reply to: Public menorah lightings and rooftop menorahs #2038617
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Avram, I think when commonsaychel made the remarks about humility, he was thinking using his jewish sensitivity….many people who support trump and/or conservativism in general, have a certain cognitive dissonance when it comes to contradictions to Torah in that community.

    Yidden do chessed; that’s one of the 3 simanim. The problem is that chabad emphasizes it as part of their shlichus mission in an effort to spread neo-chabad ideology – they then use their chessed as an effective cajole to silence opposition, because how can you oppose people who do so much chessed? That’s one of their top 2 retorts to when someone even questions chabad or the lubavitcher rebbe.

    If anyone’s noticed, i always refrain from calling the lubavitcher rebbe “the rebbe”, because it’s a tool chabad uses to aggrandize his status above other rebbes and rabbonim who were either as big or greater than him.

    in reply to: Kiddish/Chillul Hashem #2038446
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    The Gaon or the ramchal (i forget which) writes that chilul Hashem derives from the word חלל, a void. By making a chilul Hashem,a person makes it look like Hashem chas veshalom isn’t in this particular place, because if he were, how can his mitzvah be disregarded?

    in reply to: Why Do People Knock Agudath Israel? #2038348
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Being “run” is a loaded term. On “big deal” issues tha agudah still represents daas torah from gedolei yisroel.

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2038295
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    AAQ, I’m not machnis roshi bein shnei harim – rav aharon held against it and he was against college in general; rav ruderman used to say that he “doesn’t have the plaitzes of rav aharon” to take achrayus for the yungerleit having parnosa. Rav ruderman was a huge gadol batorah, and he doesn’t need my haskama; ner yisroel is a yeshiva kedosha and has its mesorah with its line of very choshuv roshei yeshiva.

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2038292
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    I never said that the tzitz Eliezer was the least bit modern: chas veshalom! He was a big tzadik. There are many esteemed poskim who are very not modern who still are not rav moshe, including rav moshe shternbuch. Also, it’s not clear that rav moshe would argue on the psak you are attributing to rav shternbuch, since he’s matir in pikuach nefesh. As an aside, I’ve heard of such a suicide related psak, but do you know where rav shternbuch writes that? I have my doubts that he said so, but not for any modern/traditional issue, but I’m not dismissing it out of hand either.

    in reply to: Tel Aviv No. 1 #2037989
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Yabia, the land underneath it is holier and therefore much more disgraced and defiled than any other land in the world

    in reply to: Public menorah lightings and rooftop menorahs #2037987
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    AAQ, in eretz yisroel where the minhag was/is to light outside, no one ever had public lighting besides shul

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2037986
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Ctl; ner yisroel doesn’t have a section on campus where boys have collegw classes? I’m pretty sure it’s through john hopkins university, vetted by yeshiva staff

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2037779
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Ct, YU had a lot of influences before, during and after rabbi yoshe ber that were much more modern then he was. Rav elchanan visited it and torah vodaas, and remarked that YU is a bad Yeshiva with a good name, and that torah vodaas is a good Yeshiva with a bad name (the name implied that there’s something more than torah… It was given that name to make a board member happy who attended such a school in Europe..YU was named for rav yitzchok elchonon spekter).

    Rabbi yoshe ber was responsible for only some of the problems in YU, but that isn’t really relevant to the view that gedolim had of him personally. He was told by rav shraga feivel that he could actually be a rosh yeshiva in torah vodaas if his wife would cover her hair, he would stop going to operas, and a 3rs condition that is supposed to be kept secret

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2037782
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Also, while rav aharon did not approve of having college in the same building as a yeshiva, he definitely held of rav ruderman

    in reply to: Public menorah lightings and rooftop menorahs #2037778
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Shul is established in the rishonim, but you’re not yotzei through lighting there; it’s a minhag, but we can’t invent new minhagim based loosely on it

    in reply to: Public menorah lightings and rooftop menorahs #2037744
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Reb E, there’s also no wick, that’s l”ikuva. That’s why a kerosene lamp is not good either

    Commonsaychel is right; there’s no record of people lighting anywhere besides their home and shul..pirsumei nisa is a requirement of ner chanuka, but not something you are yotzei with anything other than the halacha of ner ish ubayso.

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2037735
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Ctl, ujm was being sarcastic, i think.

    A lot of people say that the YH for haskalah was something our zaydes had to fend off and the nowadays the YH is all about tayvah. I think this was true in the 90s and 2000s. I believe the haskalah virus, with the mass dissemination capacity of the internet, has found many new hosts and is raging silently. Gone are the inflammatory newspapers and youth groups, but quietly, even lomdei torah are being influenced by garbage online. Prior to slifkin and the bumbling bloggers, no one had heard of haskalah driven hashkofa questions, rishonim who held rejected viewpoints, achronim who were influenced by Bible criticism(or even just the Bible critics themselves). No one honestly cared.

    Just look at some of the posts online. I’m sure the posters who make claims like boruch above got ensnared by garbage online. They definitely didn’t hear it from their rebbeim.

    Re, zionism… As long as there is a shmad state, there will be a need to know that we must be separate from it and recognize the false ideology it represents.

    Re, other gedolim’s view of controversial rabbis…rabbi kook had a PR job done to him by both his supporters and detractors. His opponents tried to erase him from early 20th century Judaism. His supporters conjured up a fantasy world where the gedolim all held of him. The truth is that he was initially respected and held of, but was discovered to have had hashkofos that at the very least disqualified him from being an authority to rely on hashkofically. Rav zonnenfeld participated in the cherem. The chazon ish assered his seforim. Rav elchanan called him a rasha openly. That’s not talked about much, but it’s true.

    Re, rabbi yoshe ber. It’s complicated; post war America needed solidarity. If the gedolim had made a huge machaah over him, it would have made a schism and undermined our efforts to rebuild torah. Especially considering that rabbi yoshe ber was on the side of building judaism and had faults that did not disrupt that goal overall. If torah were rebuilt and some people held of torah umada and Zionism, it’s wront, but can be addressed once we fight conservatism, reform and orthodox indifference to education. He was also a brisker at heart who often thought closer to his roots, sometimes wavering into modernishe ideas, sometimes not – he also firmly opposed bible criticism and radical changes that his followers would later try to implement (i.e feminism)

    Yet in private, rav aharon definitely did not consider him to be one of the gedolei hador – go ask his talmidim; it’s not a secret.

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2037725
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    See rashi on yaft elokim leyefes; even a positive admixture causes the shechina to depart

    The maskilim try to have their cake and eat it too, by saying that they should be allowed to mix with goyim and change the mesorah…. And that they’re “really* the traditionalists, because only the chasam sofer started a new mahalach that you can’t change. That’s a stirah minay ubay. If it were true, why would suddenly all the people who just happen to be meticulous in halacha get up and make up a new religious model? Fear of losing their “control”? If that were true, that’s accusing the gedolei yisroel of falsifying Torah, something the maharshal says is yehereg velo yaavor.

    Chazal said torah bagoyim al taamin, and that includes all hashkofic issues, as they’re hilchos dayos. ואבדיל אתכם מן העמים להיות למ, i have separated you from the goyim to be mine.. Chazal say if you are separate, then you are mine.

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2037626
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Shimon, in chagigah 15a we see that acher adopted Zoroastrian dualism, “shtei reshuyos” in the lashon of chazal. He saw the malaach matat sitting, and he knew that no one sits in the presence of Hashem, so there must chas veshalom be two reshuyos. While we don’t have a record of him performing acts of idol worship, this belief system is completely avodah zara.

    in reply to: Public menorah lightings and rooftop menorahs #2037622
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Many jews find the over symbolizing of chanukah to be tawdry and even offensive, mimicing the symbols of other holidays.

    Neo-Chabad and its supporters seem to believe in utilitarianism. If something good comes out of it, it shows that the thing itself is right, and that any and all criticism in invalid and merely due to hatred or jealousy. This is not a Jewish attitude.

    By contrast, genuine daas torah can be seen from the satmar rov; he used to say “m’darf tuhn, m’darf nisht oftuhn”, we need to do, not accomplish”, meaning we do whatever halacha and mesorah dictate for us to do, and leave the results up to Hashem. Hashem is more than able to inspire jews to do teshuva. Every time a yid watches his eyes on the street, walks in jewish garb (how many times has an old russian man/lady stopped you to ask you when to say yizkor?), gives a passerby a smile, picks up a dollar that fell out of someone’s pocket…the list goes on. Just doing mitzvos and serving Hashem will inspire people.

    I think letting a driver pull out of a parking spot instead of whizzing by, letting someone change lanes, and other chessed driving will be a lot more inspiring to unobservant jews than a decoration on a car. The impact of a positive experience is very powerful. Far more people become religious by seeing what religion does to people, how Torah makes its folllwers compassionate, considerate, and sensitive to others’ needs and feelings. Being concerned more with making a” kidush chabad” than actually helping others is something that needs to be rooted out and acknowledged as a chisaron that’s being avoided.

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2037587
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    So… We get to play god and decide who is better off alive, and who is better off dead. We can kill defenseless babies because they’re a financial strain or because they’ll end up becoming criminals.

    Wow.

    in reply to: Shelo Asani Isha #2037559
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Reb E, that’s a really nice pshat in kirtzono; that her existence is a shtik ratzon Hashem because she saves her husband from cheit. The cheit though is technically not adultery, it’s znus, but very good pshat nonetheless

    in reply to: Shelo Asani Isha #2037547
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Ymribiat; at first Hashem made adam with his feminine counterpart in one body; that was the ideal. Then she became corrupt, and separated. Hashem then made chava from adam.

    Sheasani kirtzono can be explained two ways; one is that they are closer to the perfect ideal of ratzon Hashem, and the other is that it’s a modest acceptance of their lot in life. The second pshat isn’t as popular.

    in reply to: Concert in Israel #2037476
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    A marriage built on such a foundation is unsteady at best

    in reply to: Denigrating Gedolim #2037413
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Gedolei hador cannot be influenced by the tides of outside, alien philosophy. They are the pure transmitters of the mesorah. Being very knowledgeable and intelligent does not alone make one a gadol batorah. One can also lose their status if they fall prey to the yatzer hora. Acher was a tanna who fell into greek avodah zara. rabbi kook and rabbi yoshe ber fell into European Nationalism and other foreign philosophies. The chazon ish forbade explicitly to read rabbi kook’s books. The shach and taz had a lot of machlokes, but never did they ban one another. Lest someone invoke the ban on the rambam, teshuvaso betzidah – as time went on, the rambam only gained in acceptance. With rabbi yoshe ber and rabbi kook it’s the total opposite; early on not many opposed them and they were afforded great honor (which they actually deserved for having been big in learning, I’m not going to take that away from them), however as time goes on they are becoming less and less accepted, with the torah world distancing itself ever more from them.

    in reply to: Shelo Asani Isha #2037475
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    וכי ברשיעי עסקינן?

    וכי בשוטפני עסקינן?

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2037425
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Reb E, comparing rav moshe to the chasam sofer is very reasonable; there the chidush is that rav Moshe could be compared to him, not the other way around. Also thank you for pointing out that it was rav yosef and not rav huna – my mistake

    in reply to: Shelo Asani Isha #2037406
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    The order of the brochos are all in the negative, shelo asani goy, eved, ishah – we could have said sheasani Yisroel (actually some nuschaos have such a bracha) and cover all three in one shot, but chazal (according to the accepted nusach) wanted us to thank Hashem individually for each advantage, much as they ordained for us to thank Hashem for every specific kind of food. That’s how we grow in hakaras hatov. The person making the bracha is going through all the alternatives in his head as he is increasing his hakaras hatov – thank you Hashem for not making me limited as a goy, limited as an eved, or as a woman… The main difference expressed here is the precious pursuit of Torah lishma. Women have to learn Torah more as a practical endeavor; to know what they can, have to, and are not allowed to do, to mold their minds according to Torah, to grow in yiras shomayim
    …for men it’s all that, plus torah lishma, Torah for its own sake, to know the dvar Hashem and learn the depths of His wisdom.

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2037363
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    The gaon also didn’t change the established minhagim of Lita for the most part, even though he was on the level of the rishonim – I’m not talking about minhag oilam, I’m talking about accepting the psak regarding a new issue that there’s no established practice. No community historically engaged in infanticide.

    I was saying both a rational and a halachik argument; goyim are supposed to keep mitzvos that are largely understandable through honest reasoning. You’re right that i meant chazakah dehashta btw….wrote the wrong one. Also, legally I’m no expert, but it doesn’t matter what American law in itself would have to say if we are compelled to advocate the halachikally ordained position, even if it would mean making otherwise weak legal arguments on behalf of that cause. As it happens to be, it seems to me that roe v wade was a very politically motivated issue, with no legal precedent.

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2037247
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    “religion” as a separate entity from state has no place in a jewish hashkofa. The sanhedrin sat in the lishkas hagaziz next to the azara, because laws and mandates must be in congruence with and ultimately an expression of the ratzon Hashem. Goyim have a mitzvah to make dinin, laws that are good in the eyes of Hashem. They also have a mitzvah not to kill, and they are charged with enforcing the other 6 mitzvos.

    If we daven “lesaken olan benalchus shakai” and “vehaya Hashem lemelech al kol haaretz”, and wish for His name to not be disgraced, how can one say “it’s a civil rights issue, not a religious one”. I don’t understand how otherwise religious people can make these statements, banishing Torah to the keren zavis, relegating it to what we do in synagogue and rituals, and maybe our personal norals….if we believe fully that our religion is correct, not just “our Truth” but THE truth, binding on all mankind, how can we comfort ourselves in an attempt to save face with the liberals? Are we to be ashamed of our emunah? We don’t have to proselytize; we have a mesorah, but to feel apathetic or worse…to agree with the promoters of licentiousness that advocate for abortion…it makes me recoil in disgust.

    Reb E, why is the amount of seforin one posek writes determine his authority? He was a posek, one of 100 or so prominent figures in the mid 20th century. He wasn’t rav shlomo zalman in eretz yisroel, or rav Moshe in America – nobody in halacha circles will equate the two; rav moshe (as heard from rabbi leibel willliger) said that nobody is on the level in our time to argue with him, besides rav elyashiv. Of course if anyone else who wasn’t the quintessence of humility that was rav moshe had said that, we’d say it’s arrogant, but it’s along the lines of “haika ana” that rav huna said in response to the gemara that said that when rebbe was niftar, humility ceased to exist. It’s about being aware of one’s self, and attributing it all to Hashem, and not your own accomplishments or independent abilities.

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2037255
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Just to illustrate, imagine you’re in the 1980s, and you have a shailoh of pikuach nefesh. You want to know what to do, and either decision will be dangerous. Would you prefer to ask rav moshe or the tzitzis Eliezer?

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2037008
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Charlie, of course there are exceptions to murder, but you’re avoiding the point – those who defended abortion initially had this no man’s land stance that it’s not murder but it’s a little bit murderous, to the point where they said it should be rare, but that position isn’t logical, because if it’s murder, then it should be allowed only when murder is allowed, and if it’s not murder, then you might as well make tik tok dances celebrating it

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2037007
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Skrry reb E, the tzitz Eliezer was a posek, but not in the same league as rav moshe – not by a long shot. Rav Moshe was essentially an early achron caliber of gemara learning and psak. There’s a reason why almost everyone was machnia to him.

    Ubiq, where do i even start…a baby comes out, so now it’s alive – it has a chazakah dmi’ikara that has to be shown when it was not alive. We don’t say “kill kill kill until you know that it’s a baby”

    It’s not “what is this inside me” everyone knows that there’s a baby developing

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2036965
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Right, because omitting the daas yochid of the tzitz Eliezer is “not getting the halacha right”. He wasn’t rav Moshe, not anywhere close. Rav Moshe and everyone else in his league unanimously, unequivocally forbade abortion in circumstances when the mother’s life is not in danger.

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2036933
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    I don’t see how social considerations factor in to a discussion of murder – if something is murder, it is unequivocally forbidden, and jf it’s not, what’s wrong? This is why the 90s line of “safe, legal and rare” fell into women celebrating the murder of their children on tiktok dance videos, because it’s mima nafshach…if it’s not murder, then do it all you want! And if it is murder, then the only justification would be in situations where murder is acceptable.

    in reply to: Levush #2036938
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Rav shach once had a talmid who was from a chasidishe background, but had gravitated to the litvishe world. He was having a hard time in shidduchim, because he was too chasidish for the litvish and too litvishe for the chasidim. He asked the rosh yeshiva if he could put on a short jacket, to make the transition more noticeable and try to get rehdt to litvishe families. Rav Shach told him that a short jacket is not a chisaron, but there is a naalah to wearing a long one, as this is what jews wore for generations and it is more tznius. To change in any way that is lowering a madrega for Shidduchim, says rav shach, is not hishtadlus.

    in reply to: Abortion Case #2036812
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Reb E, halacha considers abortion murder for yidden. There is talk if there’s a difference before 40 days(the time chazal say the neshoma enters the body), and for goyim it would be at any age. But even for goyim, an uber has to be called an uber, which is somewhat subjective and therefore conception is a good place to stop. Goyim often use the line of “it’s not a baby, it looks like a fish”, and they say that the burden of proof of what’s considered alive falls on us who wish to forbid. That argument is not only evil, vut very unintelligent – they’re saying you can kill as long as it’s not proven if something is alive, instead of not killing as long as you cannot prove that it’s not alive. It’s like if someone tells you that there’s a sleeping person aside 10 dead bodies, but you have no idea who’s alive and who’s dead. Abortion logic would be you can stab any of them because “who says this one is alive?”. No. You need to prove that the subject is NOT alive to allow anything.

    in reply to: How to end a first date when there’s no shadchan #2036805
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    That’s if you’re not interested, if you are, then do the same thing on a phone call – it’s not usually a good idea to give an answer on a date itself, because it’s putting her on the spot… Even if there’s a lot of chemistry and you have a strong feeling that she is interested… Mature daters take time to assess after a date. A date is purposeful and time should be spent appropriately. Even if she likes you, she may want to think overnight if there are any issues that are immediate deal breakers for her(or you!)

    in reply to: How to end a first date when there’s no shadchan #2036804
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Ujm, there were and are people who are shomrei Torah who for whatever reason have made Shidduchim themselves. Many met in Brooklyn college in the 80s. That doesn’t mean it’s the standard of tznius in the Yeshiva world, or that bnei Torah would do it, but if one observes a woman who he is interested in marrying, it’s not assur to approach her, as long as it’s clear that he’s intended on marriage and nothing else. There needs to be a clear distinction between what’s assur gamur, what’s the proper decorum for a yid, and what is the standard of bnei torah. There’s a difference.

    As to the OP, i doubt it’s her first time going out, so all you have to do is make a phone call saying what shadchonim usually say… You had a great time but you don’t feel the shiduch is for you, hatzlocha rabba and have a wonderful day. It doesn’t have to be with any details(that can be more hurtful). I don’t suggest texting. While she might not pry for more info on a phone call, on text people say things they normally wouldn’t say, and the confidence and assertiveness that one can employ on a phone call is missing in a text. I also don’t feel it’s tznius to text women in general.

    in reply to: “Jews” In Government #2036799
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Akuperma; there’s a reason why frei people are more drawn to chanukah than other yomim tovim. Chanukah is a time when the kedushah goes to the lowest levels. It’s seen in the halacha that you’re supposed to light the menorah less than 10 tefachim off the ground, while the gemara says the the shechina never goes that low, because on chanuka the ha’aros go down to the lowest depths. It’s also the reason why chanukah is in the darkest time of winter, in a month that’s assigned to eisav, and it’s the only yom tov which is in the latter half of a month(which has bad mazel). Chanukah lifts up a person with isarusa deli’ayla, a divine boon that happens automatically with the zman; all one must do is let himself tap into it. That’s the famous bnei yisaschar on dreidel; on chanuka, we spin from the top down, representing isasrusa deli’ayla, but on Purim we spin a grager from the bottom, signifying isarusa delitata, awakening from the bottom up…when we have to motivate ourselves more to access the ha’aros of the day

    in reply to: Speed davening. #2036528
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    There are only so many words that can be formed fully in one minute. Many people never learn how to pronounce and read words when they’re in elementary school, and while they might read English on a college level, their Hebrew skills are at the point where they have to sit and sound out every vowel and consonant.

    in reply to: Levush #2036496
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    I heard from rav moshe wolfson once that chabad doesn’t grow payos because of a concern of mixing the hair from the beard with the payos for a kabalah reason, and this is a reason why some litvishe put it behind their ears(of course there’s the historical reason that it was due to anti semitism, but both can be true)

    Tuna, do you have a source for those reasons re streimelich? I’ll admit that i was restating what i had heard from chabad people years ago without a textual source

    in reply to: Keeping my last name when married #2036490
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Shimon, that was really insensitive and also baseless…where do you see that her parents are breathing down his neck?

    in reply to: Keeping my last name when married #2036489
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Of course, someone has to turn a sensible discussion into a rant about misogyny dressed up as halacha…women were often referred to as “eshes” “mrs” so and so, but I’m really not interested in discussing that topic again. The OP wrote from the heart and deserves an answer not based on personal politics. Feminism is a danger to frumkeit for anyone who’s not open orthodox; the movement for women to bedavka not take their husband’s name was started by feminists. There can be circumstances where it’s practical not to adopt the husbands name legally, and i know many people who didn’t due to it being too complicated, but socially they are known as mrs whatever-husbands-last-name-is.

    The Gaon writes that when there is a pervasive yatzer hora for a particular inyan, we’re supposed to go to extreme lengths to distance ourselves from it. What normally is innocent (like this case) becomes something we avoid when it smacks of goyishe hashkofos.

    Again, my heart goes out to the OP; i understand where she’s coming from and I wish we lived in a sane world where such things wouldn’t be making a political statement.

    in reply to: Levush #2036405
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Philosopher; yeah that was a miscommunication. I’m referring to how some gedolim, like rav chatzkel, cut their payos according to the shiur in halacha, but did not grow them larger than the rest of their hair. It is possible that the litvishe payos were shorter than the chassidishe ones, but they all used to be noticeable

    in reply to: Keeping my last name when married #2036395
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    These are real, valid concerns, and i hear where you’re coming from. The daughters of tzelofchod felt the same way when they said that they didn’t want to lose their father’s ancestral right upon marriage. Last names might be from goyim, but the idea of maintaining the dignity and remembrance of “bais abba” is most certainly not. And since we all use last names, it’s natural to associate them with your father’s house and your family in general.

    I wish I could say that these concerns justify keeping your last name. If we lived in a world without feminism and the encroaching influences of the outside world that threaten us from within and without on a daily basis, then by all means! There are some countries where this is the norm, especially most south american and latin countries. But in our country, keeping the last bame or even hyphenating it is a statement that one communicates as a follower of feminist attitudes. Feminism objected to taking the man’s name because they felt it diminished their individualism and that it implied that husband and wife were not equal partners. The first part….yes, in many places in America, women would look at themselves as just extensions of their husbands. In the south, women would (and still) refer to themselves by saying “hi, my name is Mrs adam smith”. This was bot the Torah’s viewpoint. However neither is it Torah to believe that men and women are equal partners in a marriage. Feminism, as I’m sure you’re aware, is very anti Torah, anti family, and anti social.

    So to distance our community – which is on the brink of influence from feminism – from alien attacks on our beliefs, it is the necessary choice to forego the last name. Let your family’s remembrance be in the ehrliche children you raise and your own personal avodas Hashem. Kein yehu ratzon

    in reply to: Concert in Israel #2036351
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    It’s a chov gamur on any entertainer to make sure that such things don’t happen. We know that there are people who would behave this way anyway, but if it happens under our watch, we are held accountable for facilitating it

    in reply to: Levush #2036229
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Chabad used to wear some sort of streimel; the last lubavitcher rebbe dropped it because it made kiruv difficult.

    in reply to: Levush #2036225
    AviraDeArah
    Participant

    Philosopher, I’m sorry but that’s not historically accurate. Before the government banned payos, litvishe yidden mostly had payos – st the time, there was a machlokes between the divrei chaim and the litvishe poskim. The Divrei chaim held that payos were yehereg velo yaavor as per arkasana demasani, shoelaces, which we are moser nefesh for during a shaas hashmad…the litvishe held differently, except for the netziv who was indeed moser nefesh, as you can see from his pictures. Subsequently it became popular to either not have payos, or put them behind one’s ears

    I know plenty of taimani yidden who still have “simanim” even though they’re not chasidish at all

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