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I lifted this idea from the oilam hagashmi vs the oliam ha ruchni.
If you enjoy too much of the good things now, it often comes at the expense of your oliam haboh.
If you make due with less now, you sack away more for later.
Marriage is very similar in many ways. Build the foundation properly, and you are home free.
Since you did not specify, I’ll assume you are talking leases.
Honda gives you $1500 towards cosmetic repairs at lease end.
The Caravan has more toys to play with.
Both are good, and I’ve had both. Between the 2, if I had to choose now, I’d take the Caravan.
His choice; he can laugh now, and cry later, or vice-versa.
NObody rides for free.
You can get her a job babysitting, so she will learn what they will not teach her in seminary:
Lack of a good education will spell a lifetime of less-than-glamorous job opportunities. Ditto for choosing a husband with the same lack of education. (another thing they will not teach her in the classroom)
Great line, Goq!
But rather than worry about what the women do upstate, a better question would be, what to the guys do in the city all day?
Uh oh. Um, maybe that’s not such a good question to ask.
Too bad it all ends in a few weeks.
Close (too close) neighbors..
Oooh, did you hit a raw nerve, ZK. Wow, do I hear you on this one.
Haggen Daz and Entennmans. Its been a long time since I’ve had either, and I still miss them.
I believe that time away does all of us (each in our own way) a world of good. It fosters a true appreciation for the people you are away from, and gives you a chance to see how vital they are to you.
To end off on a happy note, wether we daven in Meron, Uman or the kitchen table, may our tefilos reach the kisay hakovod, and bring us the geulah shelaima NOW!
” I’ve been to rock concerts that were like that. “
Nu, so you do understand the premise. (even though, you surely meant this sarcastically).
Truth is, its really not that much different. If you get into the groove, you will enjoy yourself.
The major difference is, a rock concert tends to bring behavior of a decidedly non-Tishre type to the surface, where as going to a rebbe (living or otherwise) tends to bring out the better side of your soul.
And the songs are better!
There are several points to consider:
#1 – Going to a Rebbe is something you can only understand, if you’ve been to one yourself. And I don’t mean going as a sightseer; I mean going like you mean it.
#2 – Wives and kids manage quite well without us, for a short period of time. Most current example? The scene in Sullivan County. Besides, its believed (at least by chassidim) that going to a rebbe (or in this case, a kever) fuels your entire year, so going away for 5-10 days does not hurt the wife/kids… it helps.
#3 – As far as leaving EY, that I annot comment on, as I live in chutz.
#4 – Money to the local Uman economy, there I agree with you. That is sinful, but unavoidable. But no worse than buying a german car, or hiring a polish goyta. Sad, but a fact of life.
#5 – Aniyim – They get the $$ they need anyways, so the money spent going to a rebbe does not affect the aniyim. And, many “aniyim” make the trip to the rebbe themselves, so the $$ spent by working people going to the rebbe is well within their rights. (as if they need to obtain society’s permission, which they don’t).
Lastly, go one time and you will understand. I have yet to make the trip to Uman myself, but I have been to places where davening is on a different plane than it is in my hometown, and there is no comparision. The people, the place, the time, all these things add up to an experience that you need to be in it to understand it.
“any….movement ..the hemline to rise above the knee, …is a violation of the Torah’s standards. “
Granted. But the OP is talking about women who measure the hemline in CMs and wear clothing one size too small. Everything is covered, and the tichel is also (just) within the allowable limit.
Bottom line is, tznius is something that each family needs to address.
We need to stop thinking enforcment (which is impossible).
The new word is compliance. This works when you have people who want to be a part of your (and the greater community’s) ideal. If we present a picture that shows promise and happiness, people will flock to our ranks.
If we present a picture of hypocracy (I’ll not list particulars, but hamaven yovin) then why should someone want to join us?
If I had to use a guidline, the one Johnny Lingo used to choose his wife would be a good place to start.
==============================================
“I’m seeking a heavy wife.”
Fret not, OC.. heavy is just around the corner!
* as if she is in Vegas
* she can ask her sons not to look
* the torah says we have to look out for each other
* when a woman goes out improperly
* if she is NOT dressed as a Jewish woman should be
All good points, so let me adress each one, as they all boil down to the same answer:
By whose standards are we setting the bar? Did you know that many people feel that today’s fashion of shells over a long sleeve top are total pritzus? And there are people that feel if your wife does not wear honey colored # 70s, she is not dressed tzniusdig?
As far as looking out for one another, try this: Set an example, and have others follow you. But beware of a nasty side effect: If you dress like a rebbetzin, yet are less than 100% in your behavoir, you are possibly doing more damage than your flip-flop clad counterpart who is a real erlicheh person.
Ah, Brooklyn.. My favorite topic!
But I fail to see the issue:
If its your wife / daughter.. fix the problem
If its my wife / daughter.. then its done of your business.
Here’s another 311 for you: my wife, by most guidlines, can be called a tznius’dik woman. But the people in Monroe think she’s dressed like a shiksa, and the folks in <enter the MO place of your choice> think she’s an extremist.
So the bottom line is, its YOUR business if its your household.
Its none of your business if its mine.
“you should check out the interview he did with Aish.com”
I just read it. Evasive of the core question (are you still frum?), but his answers are right up there with the “jews at heart”. Lots of “feeling and inspiration” but nothing to indicate true Orthodoxy.
Here’s the short list:
Are you shomer shabbos?
Do you daven 3 x a day (I ask this as / to a male)
Do you / your spouse obey the halacha that governs marriage?
I (and all orthodox men) can answer YES to all of the above.
Can he?
When the answer is yes, I’ll come back on board. Which is not to negate his past. But until he comes to his religios senses, we need to part ways.
Hope to see you soon Mattisyahu!
” weird/pointless battles “
Whaadya mean, pointless?!
The future of Klal Yisroel (ok, the future of Yeshivish Klal Yisroel) rests on the shoulders of these shiftless bums.
And with less than 30 days till the Spring / Summer freezer opens, we need to be putting all our efforts (and letzanus) on this topic.
“it’s baseless to assume that, “Its the expected side-effect”
That’s just my smart-aleck way of poking fun at the bochurim that are not doing the job they were sent here to do.
But look at it this way: If they had less carefree time on their hands, and were as focused on cementing a career as are their female counterparts, they’d have less time to spend preening.
“because its making me angry.”
If its any consolation, it is these very 2 months that I get a small idea of how tough it must be to be a single person.
People are truly not meant to live alone.
” You should have to do it before. “
Ok, good point. Prior to packing the wardrobe, all hem lines (and sleeves / collars) should be measured to be sure all is in accordance with the spirit of Yom Tov.
“But they cannot force non-adherents of theirs, whose Gedolim forbid enlistment”
Excellent point. And if the Charaidim want to opt out of serving their country, good for them. But they should go off grid totally and not use the public’s hospitals either.
Wanna be a taker? Be a giver as well. I’m not asking them to patrol Gaza. But anyone can help in the kitchen or stock a supply cabinet.
If there are so inclined.
“Are there more ladies’ clothing stores in BP, or men’s?”
Of course, there are more ladies stores in BP, and Flatbush, and presumably Lakewood as well (but that’s just a guess).
But what BHWB was refering to is the undeniable uptick in fashion on the mens side of the mechitza. Perhaps not in the shul you daven in, nor in the row you sit. But look around, and you will see ties in more colors than the rainbow, and eyeglasses that would make Lipa Schmeltzer proud.
Not that its a bad thing, per se, but it is a telling trend.
With all due respect to the gedolim that are against the draft, are there no gedolim that are in support of it?
And is it also possible that they will not be sending the bnei yeshiva to the front lines, but only asking them to do the training, and help out as support staff?
My guess is yes to both questions. But like most takers, the very thought of being asked to help out sends them screaming “shmadd!” so the status quo rolls on.
And we wonder why the chilonim think of us the way they do.
A ruler that will measure the shiur of the kezaisim, as well as the hemlines of the guests
(I don’t begrudge the hotel crowd either, but love to poke fun at them!)
“males in the greater society are much more into fashion than was true historically”
Perhaps. But not to the extent that they surpass the women. Unless you factor in a certain “subset” of males in the greater society).
For the most part, the greater society’s men are into pro sports. Not clothing.
Lets use mid-manhattan as an example. How many stores cater to women only? (Clothing, perfume, accessories). How many cater to men only? And in the stores that cater to both (like Gap, or Old Navy) how much of the floorspace is for men, and how much is for women?
Same goes for malls. Its a woman’s world when you’re talking fashion (in the greater society, that is).
BTW – I love that phrase; Greater society. Sounds so much more pc than “the goyishe velt”. I’m gonna try to use that going forward.
“very into fashion”
Oh that. Simple, really. Its the expected side-effect of allowing our boys to abdicate their true role, and allow our girls to assume the mantle of being the breadwinner.
Therefore, the natural outcome is, our boys turned into girls (pointy shoes and all).
Can someone please tell me what “boards” mean?
What caught my eye in this thread is the term “hipsters” which in its ususal sense, is used to describe some of the sloppiest dressed people you can possibly imagine. Ask anyone from Willy, and they will verify this.
So here I though this was a thread about frum guys dressing down when in reality, its about guys dressing up. Go figure.
“kishka in the peklach”
Nor is there at the kiddushim at our shul. So they are on equal footing there.
Now, herring / kugel on the other hand…
Until he comes to his senses, he’s off my chart.
Once he comes back, all is forgiven.
I was surprised (but ok with) his decision to shave. But the yarmulkah was the last straw.
Without one, he’s just another secular musican, and I left those behind in the 80s
Yes.
Unless I’m hangin’ out in the parking lot with all the other CR thugs / thugg-ets. Then, I’ll just be scowling at the rest of you as you give us the once-over.
” setting my kids up with yours? “
Laugh all you want, Syag, but odds are, our families WILL cross paths with one another (if they have’nt already).
The yeshiva world (in all its sizes and colors) is not that big, and since we are all vying for the “best” catch, its pretty much a slam dunk we are gonna be one big happy family or at least attending each other’s simchas.
Dental floss and all.
DY – Great point!
business cards.
At a Bar Mitzvah or kiddush, they have the same rights as adults do.
But at an oif ruf, the kids have already gotten peklach, so the adults should get first dibs on the kiddush.
The explanation is really very simple. You are putting the cart before the horse:
The mediocre boy BECOMES the cream of crop by marrying the BEST girl.
I know, I know, that’s not fair, but it is the SYSTEM, so best just deal with it and not make waves.
Sorry, but them is the rules.
Simple. You do what I do. Sit back and watch the new crop of posters (or old ones that have not yet had their fill of the CR) and see how they re-hash the same topics you fought about 2 years ago.
Case in point: Beth el. For a split second, I was reliving the biting and scratching I and Soleik went trhu over this topic.
Did I want to go thru this again? Nah.
But those were good times, though.
I don’t see it closing, but I do think that:
1 – a lot of the old-timers (like myself) have simply come to the conclusion that much of what needs to be said and discussed, has already posted in so many ways, that its just getting repetetive
2 – Like any new toy, after a while, you just get bored of it. When YouTube was invented, I could spend a hour clicking away. Now? I have’nt watched a clip in ages.
Make no mistake, I really enjoyed my time in the CR. And sincerly hope that those among us, take what has been learnt here, and put it to good use in the real world.
But there is too much fun to be had outside, to be glued to a screen, so for many of us, its time to move outside.
The CR is not closing; just getting a a turnover of membership
Very happy for you Ms. F.. mazel tov!
(and I got the joke CA… very funny!)
Sorry, I’ve been taking a “blog break”, in deference to the Citifield Afisa, so I did not see this until today.
I have not heard that word in particular, but if I had to guess, I would think the word was possibly “Shaferei” (as opposed to Shfanerei.
If thats the word, it might be a derivative of shaf, which would imply a pantry or cabinet (hence the use to denote a whole potpourri of goods).
I cannot imagine an existence without the CR, so its pikuach nefesh!
If you are really serious about your “wanna be” ambitions, head over to Krauz Hatters on Lee Avenue.
If you’re ready to jump in, do so like you mean it!
(Hey.. maybe we should revive the Yiddish thread?)
” like the tznius in Flatbush in the E. 20’s. “
Yeah. Too bad that thread was squashed.
Its a chiyuv gamur. Unless its a taanis, in which case its a nidcha. But the minute the zman arrives, bottoms up!
We’ve had this conversation before, but its worth having again.
If drafted to fight in a war against a threat to our safety (or those of other yidden) I would serve. And I think most of us would, in the capacity they could.
But if the war was one of conquest? I’d dodge it.
“Jewish men never wore rings througout history”
Are you sure about this? Because I was told that MB states that if a man forgot to take off his ring for netilas yodaim, it is not considered a chatzitza (so apparently, men did wear rings at some point)
Thrilled. In fact, once a week, (sometimes as many as 3)I’m already living an off-line life.
As do all of us. Its called Shabbos.
“freedom”?
Its a joke among married men. Its the idea that if we had not gotten tied down, we could have…
But like I said, its a joke. I’m not sure if women joke this way as well (come to think of it, they probably don’t) but I assure you, ring or not, the way you act (and react) in public should tell people loud and clear if you are married or not.
Much the way your actions should tell people if you a frum jew or not
Yo mamma shops at Marshalls
Yo mamma buys her kishka at Meal Mart
Yo mamma scrapes the sides of the peanut butter jar.. and then uses it as a storage container.