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cb1, you got some good ones there!!!
By the way, the Toyota jokes are dedicated to my dear Uncle CR, who loves his car!
80, now I really feel for you!!!
To make sure Bill Clinton’s heart doesn’t stop, doctors put in a special pacemaker made by Toyota.
Toyota is recalling over 500,000 cars due to faulty parts that could cause drivers to lose control of the steering wheel. Among the recalled cars is Toyota’s super-efficient hybrid, the Prius. That’s how environmentally friendly the Prius is: It actually tries to run you off the road so you’ll take public transportation.
Superman now has competition for the epithet “faster than a speeding bullet”–a runaway Toyota.
Toyota’s troubles have gone from bad to worse.
Yesterday, a crash-test dummy refused to get in one.
Congress may require all cars to have an override system in case the brakes fail. Toyota already has an override system in case their brakes fail:
It’s called a tree.
Congratulations to Toyota! They’ve introduced their brand new electrified car!
Technically, though, it doesn’t actually become electrified until after it hits the light pole.
After the healthcare vote, Republicans have grown increasingly nasty toward Democrats…even making death threats against them.
Just yesterday, a Democratic senator found a Toyota in his driveway.
Toyota recalled about 50,000 Sequoia sports utility vehicles from the 2003 model year to fix an unexpected slowing of the vehicle. The good news for Toyota is now they just need to create a new hybrid that combines the sudden acceleration of the Lexus with the unexpected slowing of the Sequoia and they will have a model that runs perfectly.
Toyota is recalling 600,000 Sienna minivans over safety concerns from rusting spare tire holders. Of course, accelerator, braking, and steering problems will cause the minivans to crash long before the spare tire holders rust.
Toyota announced that it is developing a car that shuts down if the driver is drunk. Immediately, rival Ford announced that “Ford drivers do not need to be drunk for their cars to shut down.”
Toyota has recalled another 1.5 million cars. The company issued an apology: “We’re sorry that you haven’t heard from us lately. We hope that this recall reestablishes Toyota as the undisputed world leader in defective vehicles and poor management. Oh,what a feeling!”
GM says it would like to thank those who made it’s recovery possible: Toyota’s brakes, Toyota’s steering, Toyota’s accelerator…
why can’t i be both?
actually i come to the CR whenever i need a break and i always have a joke to share
Well, it seems like you need a break very often!!!
kapusta, and don’t forget the big colorful lolly pop for desert!!!
Yes, please tell us!
kapusta, my meals consist of:
Brown chocolate
Red twizzlers
Blue twerps
Orange and Yellow candy canes
Purple mike and ikes
Black and Whites
Green sour sticks
Is that enough colors?!
cb1, are you a “Music Producer” or a jokster?!
bychick, how did the hand wave?
(As a BY girl, I think you should reconsider your screen name.)
ICOT, I like that “alternate definition”!
Hashem’s Son, thanks for the mention!
backinaction: Great song! Can I forward it?
YBC5-Chanuka
To be released very soon!
myfriend, I didn’t know that! Thanks!
To make things look like this:
Hi!
type < and then blockquote and then > and then your words (ex. Hi!) and then < and then /blockquote and then >
When your post is yellow, it means that it wasn’t posted yet. Only you can see it. (If you log out of your account, you wont see it either)
The EDIT button goes away once a post is posted.
And don’t complain that 25 minutes is too shorrt, cause it used to only be 5 minutes…
President Clinton couldn’t say the truth.
President Bush couldn’t say a lie.
President Obama doesn’t know the difference.
phrum, I said above:
“I didnt realize you were talking about the Shiurim. Sorry!”
I see we are both reading each other’s posts wrong! Cute!
d a
… get annoyoing sometimes, but hey, so do!!!)
It was supposed to say “but hey, so do I!!!)”
phrum, when you wrote “I think even just user posted and edited is a good place to start.”, I thought you meant that the CR should be self moderated. I didnt realize you were talking about the Shiurim. Sorry!
d a:
the d stands for EDITED and the a stands for EDITED
Biden is known for saying crazy things.
Is it possible that he or one of his staff is doing or saying something stupid which is causing these accidents?
If that’s the case, the White House should put someone competent in charge of Biden’s motercade and hopefully these problems will stop.
Biden is VP. If you like him or you don’t like him. He still needs protection.
If you sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on your oatmeal every year for 103 years, you will live a long life…
Talking about Hashem, there is a big store where I live that has a bunch of Muslims/Arabs working there. All the time, over the PA system, you here: Hashem please come to the front/back etc. Kind of funny…
Phrum, at one point everything people posted went directly onto the CR and people were taking advantage and posting inapproprite stuff.
And editing would also be the same problem. Because once a moderater posts a post, if you can edit it, you can post anything you want. Unless the mods mod the edited post. But that would be a lot more work. Not worth it.
I think now you can edit your post until it gets posted. (When your post is yellow).
The system we have now is very good. (It does get annoyoing sometimes, but hey, so do!!!)
On a side note, is it time for the Elections 2010 banner to come down?
We had the flag hanging all year round. But our flag got ruined partially when kids used it as a Tallis…
Homeowner, did you hear about the guy who got a speeding ticket? He placed a video of himself speeding on the internet. And the police ticketed him! I am not making this up! It was on a news site (I think YW)
I read a few of Riva’s books. They are very good. Is this story going to be published? I don’t like reading ongoing stories from magazines. I like books…
oomis, if she has any siblings who wear contacts, it would make sense.
My sister was singing “tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow…” And my younger sister said “but why don’t you love me today?”
ATTENTION:
This really works!
When peeling/cutting onions, put your cutting board on top of the FRONT gas on top of your stove. Then, turn on the BACK burner. Cut your onions on top of your cutting board. The fire pulls the stinging away to the back. Try it. Its very cool! (Saw this idea from “Clueless In The Kitchen”)
Or, how about tonight? Monsey Hatzolah had a problem with their phone system. Messages went out to call other numbers. Then the problem was fixed.
Over an hour after the problem was fixed, I got an “URGENT MESSAGE” about it, and it didn’t specify that it was only Monsey…
It was my mother’s birthday. My father told me to secretly buy a ice cream cake after Yeshiva. I come home with the box in my hand and standing in front of the driveway is my mother with a shovel shoveling. I felt so bad. I quickly walked past her, said hello, ran inside and put the cake in the freezer and then ran back out and took the shovel away from her.
(I was reminded of this story because of women shoveling…)
Your totally right.
phrum, I don’t think that can be done as an “improvement”. I think you’d need a whole new site…
tunabeigel123, don’t try it. Its not worth it!!!
cb1
…music, helping people, music…
How did that get thrown in middle?!
Just a joke…
…Cos i heard them say they want to blow it up!
That reminds me of a joke I just heard.
By a photography store, they shoot you, blow you up and then tell you to hang yourself on the wall…
vnishmartemmeod, thats like we say Nisht Off Shabbos Geret, and then continue talking…
And, when I go on the table, I say I’m a Kohen and a Kohen is allowed to go on the Mizbeach…