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What does the location of the seminary have to do with a shiduch??? If she can get the same or better chinuch at a seminary in the U.S. or UK, why would a prospective chosson care….in fact, that means the kalah’s family has more $$ to purchase a higher-end Rolex chosson watch.
pushatayid: And what baal simcha would knowingly schedule a simcha in a shtieblach with 40 seats that are full every shabbos if he know in advance that he has invited at least 25 additional guests who will be coming and there is no where to put them (other than in the kitchen, or the ezras nashim (and telling the latter to stand outside)
Can we all agree there is no “general” rule about saving seats…as CT lawyer correctly notes, its 100 percent local minhag. Having said that, there are certain non-legalistic concerns (for those whose property law 101 and 1L contract law credentials are dated or non-existant) that some feel should always apply relative to both the optics and common sense practices of “hoarding” seats, siddurim, food during Kiddush etc. Its not always what it appears so the advice to consult the gabbai or one of the daveners as to minhag ha’makom should guide your actions, and more importantly, your REACTIONS to the behavior of others.
“Never seen a camel on the NY Thruway”
In the category of “don’t always believe what you read on the internet”, the following comments were attributed to Rav Moishe’s son-in-law, Rav Tendler, on the occasions of Rav Moishe’s 25th yahrtzeit.Eating non-glatt kosher meat is not the only controversial stance Rav Moshe took. More famously, Rav Moshe ruled that all milk in the United States certified by the government as coming from a cow or other kosher animal is considered Chalav Yisrael. People still debate what Rav Moshe’s “true” opinion on the topic is, but, according to Ravi Tendler, “He meant exactly what he said. What he said was that we only drink Chalav Yisrael, but milk in America is Chalav Yisrael because the halacha says, ‘Im ein tamei b’edro’ – if the farmer does not have any non-kosher animals on his farm, then you don’t have to watch him. All you have to do is stay outside the farm to make sure no one comes in with a camel or a donkey.” , Rav Moshe argues that one may rely on government supervision to ensure that milk is kosher, but Rabbi Tendler said that in personal conversations, his father-in-law often stressed that dairy farmers in America simply do not have camels and other non-kosher animals on their premises. “He used to say to me, ‘We go to the Catskill Mountains on vacation; I never saw a camel. I never saw anybody milking a camel.’ We spoke about this very often and really in a kind of light mood. He didn’t understand what [his opponents] didn’t understand [and why they were attacking him].”
Everyone in Rav Moshe’s house drank regular milk, Rabbi Tendler said, and the only reason Rav Moshe himself did not do so is because he did not want “to be mattir neder” – to formally change his lifelong practice, dating to the first 40 years of his life in Europe, of drinking “traditional” Chalav Yisrael”
We have a limited number of “sit down” tables at Kiddush at our shul since most daveners gulp down a piece of kugel and fish while standing and then run home to have lunch with their families. There is one table “reserved” for a “study group” for about 30 minutes and then benches. The other two tables are typically “reserved” for the older daveners who cannot stand easily. When someone has a big simcha (with a correspondingly bigger lunch buffet) we typically have enough tables for sit down.
I’m still not sure I agree with CT Lawyer that a donation for a brass plaque on a bench and shtender gives one permanent chazakah when they are not there. In our shul, about half the benches have a brass plaque in memory of XYZ, but those seats are not treated as a makom kavuah.
I’m not sure I’ve ever been to a shul where they run out of siddurim but I’ve certainly seen the “seat saving” issue, especially around the yom tovim. The most popular “reservation” methodology is the old fashioned spreading of taalasim over the seats (which I find offensive for reasons other than the seat saving issue). As to saving seats at Kiddush, chazal bring down the inyan that a”makom kavuah” does not extend to fressing cholent after musaf.
Wasn’t there once a Chabad=affiliated museum in Brooklyn displaying replicas and photos of all the animals mentioned in the Torah where many yeshivos would schedule field trips for their Talmidim??
Most of the more contemporary psaks from leading rabbonim against using dairy products made from cholov stam take the opposite position from Reb Moshe’s heter. Reb Moshe was mattir cholov stam based on dairy processing plants being inspected by the government, and government inspection of dairy farms was a non-issue due to the concept of “bo l’yad Yisroel”. Under the current food safety rules, however, government inspections are primarily focused on dairy farms , and dairy plant inspection is no longer central for the heter.
Probably the first and last time I’ll agree on anything with Joseph but here he is 100 percent correct. The issue of arrogance and contempt for the rules others live by is not a function of income but reflects the midos of the individual. We have rich and poor who feel their time is more important than others’ or simply feel that rules that can be ignored or evaded with minimal consequences should be ignored. Its a pervasive issue in our society and made worse by social “progressives” who argue against enforcement of lower level violations of the law so as to not “tarnish” an individual for their lifetimes. Even simple daily activities are triggered such as the shopper with the 25 items in his/her cart getting on line at the “express” checkout line with a sign that says 10 items or less.
Apparently, you get “extra credit” for the mitvos of of marbin b’simcha and adsheloyadah if you do everything to excess…aka dress in costumes that insult as many people as possible, drink to the point you are a danger to yourself and others, and most importantly, ruffle the feathers of all the PC posters on every social media site in which you participate.
Furathone: I hear these advertisements on the radio for one or two X’tian health share programs but never realized there is a Jewish vesion of the program. Is this really just a form of cooperative “self-insurance” where the “members” pool their claims exposure and hire a company to administer the claims and payments with doctors and members. Do they underwrite on a “risk” basis or do the “socialize” risks so that there is a lot of cross-subsidization across age groups and people with pre-existing conditions??
frumshmurda718;
Yasher koach…..by far the best troll of the day and probably the week…..a gutten shabbos
To MKYLB: Sorry you have to deal with this but we have some really dumb resident trolls who constantly seek new threads or opportunities to assert that its “OK” to disparage, mock or disrespect women, blacks, Hispanics, muslims or whatever rant they think will get a rise from other CR readers. Responding generally energizes them to amp up their rants or start a new one. Its not just a question of being “politically incorrect” on controversial public policy issues since that would require invoking verifiable information or objective facts to support a position. That’s too much work for a troll not really interested in civil discourse. Instead, just make some moronic comment about other groups and move on. .
I don’t agree with these anti-Amazon efforts which will ultimately be seen as a big loss for NYC and the residents of the LIC area where the new HQ would have been located. However, if something good comes out of this whole fiasco, it will be a serious reconsideration of the whole cycle of major companies seeking to push cities and states into a fierce competition to grant tax rebates for location of new job-creating facilities.
LowerTutition:
You are fortunate to daven in a shul with such an ehrliche gabbai who systematically tracks all the daveners in terms of when they last received a kavod and when they have a known chiyuv with flexibility to accommodate an unforeseen chiyuv. You also note that your gabbai will even deviate from the normal she’nadar “auction” of aliyos on a yom tov to accommodate a chiyuv. What you describe is halevai, how it should work in all shuls but that has not been my experience. Its not all that unusual for their to be “cliques” in some smaller shuls and shtieblach such that aregular davener can be made to feel like an outsiders.Nine thousand dollars for 4 kids to attend a day camp for the entire summer is a bargain. Figure it out in terms of the number of work hours for camp counselors, food preparation, facility costs etc. I”m constantly amazed at those who scream gevalt about yiddeshe mosdos who are trying to pay living wages to their staff and comply with all the safety, health and workplace rules. That costs money and if you are not prepared to pay for a quality day camp, keep you kids at home and see how much that will cost in terms of your own work schedule and keeping the kids fully engaged.
Neville: If you ancestors came over on the Mayflower and settled in Crown Heights in the early 1700s, than you probably have a sound basis for your purim minhag and I’m certain its done with only the most noble and respectful intent, especially in those years when Purim comes reasonably close to Black History Month.
Neville: Really special that your zeydeh and elter zeydeh etc. came from Africa where they developed the minhag of putting on blackface on Purim to show kovod to their neighbors rather than having come from the Alte Heim where presumably there were few Blacks to emulate on Purim.
A gift of an annual subscription to YWN is more in line with the original theme of mishloach manos (perhaps along with a virtual prune hamantaschen)
Klugeryd: Absolutly correct. Throughout history yidden have kvelled when the local media and anti-semitiim published cartoons and posters depicting yidden with very long noses, dark unkempt clothing filling their pockets with coins or performing various horrific acts with local children which cannot be published here. We were flattered by the “imitations”. Please work on your trolling skillls before your next stupid post.
Avram in Maryland: Two options: Either make the gabbai rishon at the early minyan the gabbai sheini at the later minyan and vice verse OR move from the Baltimore area to Silver Spring or Potomac where you will find considerably more welcoming minyanim and gabaaim.
1: So give anonymously at the Melavah Malkah and check the box say “don’t share my information” with all the other schneurers on your mailing list
“In a Litvish Yeshiva, a lot of the bochrim flail around like crazy when they’re davening”
For many of these “bochrim” this may be the only cardio they get during their typical day when they are otherwise shteiging
In most shuls, the hierarchy of awarding kibbudim is almost always an unwritten hybrid policy of the chiyuv of individuals per halacha, the “status” of the individual in the shul’s/minyan’s informal ranking of daveners that often goes beyond just member/non-member and in many cases, the mood of the gabbai at a particular point in time. The rules for an aliyah on shabbos/yom tov often vary from who is asked to daven for the amud on a weekday shachris/mincha minyan and the old minhagim on the significance of shlishi/shishi etc.
“Many Americans don’t want to be in the same waiting room with unvaccinated people thereby denying tax paying Americans access to medical treatment”
Abba S: Maybe we should simply send all the anti-vaxers and their kids south of the border as an act of charity and self-preservation for those REAL Americans whose parents didn’t have the flu and successfully made it here from the Alte Heim and weren’t turned back at Governor’s Island. You really do manage to channel the most hateful and false racist tropes of the trumpkopf.
Depends on who you ask and their mesorah. Some will explain that it is a manifestation of the trembling one would experience of standing before a king. Some have attributed the movement to the R’ Akiva about whom it was said that when davening b’yachid he would start in one corner of a room and gradually kneel/bow/shake his way to the other side. There is a chasideshe vort that shuckeling is the result of the desire of the neshama inside of every yid to escape the physical body and reunite itself with its source. The least esoteric explanation I’ve ever heard (and the most intuitive) was that in the 13th and 14th century, the practice began as a result of a shortage of Printed sedurim meaning that daveners were forced to share a large printed scroll on the ground alternatively bending over to read and moving along so the next davener could read.
If we want to expand the boundaries of the country, why not offer EY statehood first. Lots of Israelis already have U.S. citizenship and we could double the number of yidden overnight. I think the Brits would find more in common with our neighbors to the North (who want to build their own wall along the Northern Border to keep us out).
In the smaller shuls, generally limited to a “seat” with varying supplemental benefits (ex-officio member of the Kiddush club) but mainly some degree of freedom from having the dead silence when you get an aliyah in the middle of the me shebarach when the gabbai gets to the “ba’avur she’nadar……”. Many yidden were simply tired of being constantly she’nadarded every time they went to the amud. A modest annual dues payment offsets but doesn’t eliminate the need for discretionary donations during the year to pay the rav, the utility bills.
Generally, one should consult the gabbai from the kiddush club as to what would be an “appropriate” level of inebriation to be mekayem the obligation of “adsheloyadah”.
Avi K brings up a good point which is problematic across all racial groups but especially in recent years for the Black community. Many black rap and hip hop artists and songwriters claim its perfectly OK for THEM to use offensive racial slurs (aka “N word” etc) but its entirely racist for Whites and others to use the same term. Its a slippery slope when yidden claim its OK for us to engage in our own forms of borderline humor “within the family” but scream “antisemitism” when similar terminology or visuals are appropriated by those we know have hateful intent.
“Gadolhadorah probably thinks wearing an offensive costume should be a punishable crime”.
Absolutely correct. Anyone dressing in a costume such as the Joseph costume depicted in Zahavasdad’s posting which makes him appear like a normal troll that you would be proud if your daughter brought home as a shidduch should be severely punished for imposing such shame and humiliation on all trolls. While the judge should have some discretion in sentencing, a minimum term of 6 months working as a social media intern in Nancy Pelosi’s office would be appropriate starting point.
There are 613 shades of grey when it comes to the exercise of common sense in relation to how a Yid should act and relate to others, both other yiddin and goyim. In performing every mitzvah there are opportunities to perform that mitzvah in a quiet and respectful way that is mehader mitzvah and in some cases make a real kiddush hashem (not to devalue the term). However, it seems that a small minority here feel that acting in ways that insult, devalue or demean certain segments of society, in some cases just to troll the “snowflakes” is itself a mitzvah of sorts since the groups they upset in many cases are “leftists”, “kofrim”, “self-hating jews”, “anti-semites”, “Toevahniks” (to coin a term) or various derogatory terms for certain ethnic groups. Some costumes may be funny but still not cross the line. Common sense should be enough but clearly some relish in crossing the line to upset or impose hurt and pain on others. All they do is dig their hole deeper v’hamayvin yavin.
There are several books/videos claiming to know exactly where matan torah took place, including many from Christian evangelical “scholars” selling those books and videos or linking online through paid banner ads with depictions of the fire, lightning and what they think the egel looked like. Unfortunately, most use vague references to “Arabia”, the “Arabian Empire” etc. which could be anywhere within 800-1200 miles.
“It’s not a kulah just because it’s not your minhag”
Perhaps the most important statement here in the CR since it was postulated that daveners at vasikim miyanim are likely to yawn more frequently during a consolidated mincha/maariv minyan than those who slept through z’man kriyas shema.Reb Yid: U’mein VaU’mein. Iits just that some of our resident trolls get off on trying to emulate certain vulgar, politically incorrect (and occasionally blatantly racist) political leaders on both ends of the political spectrum.
Neville….I thought a “real shul” is one where they say vayatzmach purkanei in kaddish and where the tzibur listens to the kariyah rather than making lachayim in the hallway closet used for the kiddush club.
Neville”: I did……and today is definitely NOT the yahrtzeit of Avram Yoelson ben Moshe Reuven Yoelson and Nechama Yoelson (aka Al Jolson).
If you saw a video on YouTube asserting that Har Sanai was really a mountain the Catskills and bnai yisroel spent 40 years in the “midbar” because they were waiting for a minyan along the NYS Thruway and no one told them about the Mincha Area at the Sloatsburg Rest Stop, would you take it literally??? A video about Har Sinai being somewhere in Saudi Arabia has about equal credibility.
Dovid….if you are unable to make the distinctions in you question then no reason to respond further. Think of it in terms of whether dressing your kids for purim in a costume that ridiculed the appearence of a chashuvah rav whose skin pigmentation is very white because of a disease. or the lvush of a particular chassidus that dressed in very unusual ways.. If you think thats appropriate than nothing else to say.
Neville: Just to confirm. So if a guy is Litvish by his mother and Chassidish by his father but davens nusach ari and only eats treifus with a plumba from Rav Weiss’ “Hashgacha Tzedek”, he is considered to be a tinok sh’nishba??
To “1”. Actually, you degrade yourself and are insulting and disparaging “all people” when you make a fool of yourself and dress up in racially derogatory lvush or makeup. But go ahead since such self-humiliation seems to give you great nachas.
I’ve traveled all over the country and have actually found sephardeshe minyanim in unexpected places and always with a warm welcome. Obviously, there are fewer sephardim but what they lack in numbers, they certainly make up for warmth and welcoming.
When some parents allowed their kids to dress in concentration camp uniforms mocking the kadoshim from the shoah, there was near-universal horror and condemnation. While the two issues are not comparable, its important to remember that each ethnic group has its own visuals that evoke pain and emotional distress. There is a big difference between being politically incorrect in a humorous, satirical way and and outright and deliberate provocation where you know the painful consequences. If you cannot decipher that line, then go back and learn why.
Health: I’ve you’ve been smoking something, its really good stuff. If you’ve started your Purim adsheloyada,early its obviously working. If you are just spouting off, then less funny. There is NO underground 300 sq. mile city (approx. size of NYC) being built in Saudi Arabia or anywhere else on the planet for that matter. As far as “gold dust”, the area has been home to traders for thousands of years so you’d probably have to look hard to find some area w/o traces of gold dust.
A freileche (early) Purim to you
I never heard of “free apartments”…..is that the new normal for shiduchim along with the “Kallah packages”, 2 goats and 3 chickens?
I plan to dress up as Joseph for Purim…..any thoughts on what such a costume would look like would be greatly appreciated
Avi: Is there any similar formal national “appellate” tribunal in the U.S. where a dissatisfied party can challenge a psak din from a local beis din. I’m not aware of such a process. I imagine a litigant in local beis din in NYC might appeal to a group of more senior rabbonim but that is very case specific. Also, in EY does a litigant need to present evidence of fraud or new facts or can he just complain that he/she disagrees with how the lower beis din reach their decision.
The gemorah in Sanhedrin discusses a hierarchy of batei din when the local beis din is divided or unable/unwilling to paskin on a particular matter. I’m certainly not an expert but I don’t believe there is any formal “appellate process” for a ruling that was already issued by a beis din as there would be in a secular court decision. Thus, a psak din is final unless a clear error is found in the ruling or if new information comes to light. In the latter case, the initial ruling of beis din can be revoked by the originall beis din that issued the psak or by another bies din of greater authority.
Great Neck is on of the safest areas on the Island (and the violent crime rate is one of the lowes tin NYS. It has lots of shuls, kosher restaurant and fast food places within a short drive, and lots of parks, golf courses and recreational areas. I’m assuming that the yeshiva will have some mashgiach ruchani for the bochurim in the dorm but otherwise, its up to the parents to provide “supervision”.
Is this the new “fill in” the thread title….”Is it healthy for Yeshiva Bochurim to {XXXX] aka do anything but be chained to their shtenders and shteig 24×7.