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Randomex – neither am I, but what was that comment in response to?
I do appreciate the fact that you phrased your opinions very carefully and politely. I am always happy to hear polite feedback on my comments, especially if someone felt there was a halachic or hashkafic problem with something I wrote. I definitely appreciate hearing why you took issue with my comment instead of just deleting it without an explanation.
by the way, payment for my comments is unnecessary. Although, considering how much time I spend on them, some payment would be nice, if you really insist đ
Please note that I did not say anything about halachic or hashkafic differences per se’. What I said is that the two are very different. My point is that when a 20 year old girl talks to a boy something very different is going on than when a girl in her 30’s talks to a boy (at least in most cases). You simply can’t compare a 20 year old girl to a girl in her 30’s.
There are other differences in this case, and perhaps it is those differences that are more important in this particular case, but I felt that emphasizing this difference would be understood better by the person to whom the comment was directed.
If you still feel it is hard to understand, consider the following points:
1. The Gedolim encourage girls in their 30’s to talk to boys. I know this for a fact. I may be wrong, but I am not sure they would do the same regarding a 20 year old girl.
2. Have you ever seen a 20 year old talking to a boy? Have you ever seen a girl in her 30’s talking to a boy? Can’t you see the difference? (again, there are exceptions, but I am talking about the majority). That is one of the reasons why I am assuming that most Gedolim would not say that 20 year old girls should talk to boys.
I like the way the clock is set up during “daylights saving time”. I don’t like the way they set it up during the winter. I prefer that sunset be called 6:00 and not 5:00.
And I know that it is. If you don’t think so, it is probably because you don’t understand why it is different.
But there are other factors as well, and some girls in their 30’s may be like a 20 year old.
In this particular case, there is definitely a big difference.
I posted an hour ago a post that is still awaiting moderation. It was a story about someone asking a well-known Gadol what to do with chalav stam chocolates they were given. He said they could give it away. To be more precise, he said “give it to me.”
L’maaseh, if someone is in this situation, they should ask a sheilah before assuming that it is okay to throw it out. That was my point.
If someone considers something assur it should certainly be okay to throw it out. But I am not sure that one could consider chalav stam to be in that category as Rav Moshe Feinstein zatsal permitted it. But I don’t know, so someone in that situation should ask.
I do like chocolate ones actually. And strawberry jelly ones are okay. That’s it that I can think of.
I don’t have a problem with daylight savings – I actually like it. In fact I like it so much, I wish they would keep it year-round. My problem is withe the switching back in the fall.
sauerkraut
anchovies
Rebshidduch, just want to point out that lightbrite is in a very different stage of life than you are (in many ways) and the fact that it may be okay for her to talk to a guy does not necessarily mean that it is okay for you.
Something can be assur for one person and muttar for another. From what I know of you and Lightbrite (including your ages, backgrounds, personalities, mindsets,etc.) I think that it was probably mutar for LB to talk to this guy and that it is assur for you to talk to guys.
The main difference is that a 20 year old girl talking to a guy is very different from a girl in her 30’s talking to a guy.
WTP – on the other hand, the bag by itself is useless, so I wonder if that would count halachically.
Rav Bodner is the author of one of the two well-known Hilchos Brachos Sefarim in english. I think he’s also the author of a well-know english sefer on Hilchos Muktzah.
WTP – true. Maybe people will start to value 10 agurot more now. I always feel guilty now when I’m a guest at someone’s house for Shabbos and I ask them for a plastic bag on Motzei Shabbos to help me pack my stuff in – something I never used to think about twice.
When I first saw the thread title, my reaction was, “no, we are all influenced (on some level) by everything we read whether we realize it or not.”
Once I read further, I was a bit less sure,… BUT,I still stand by my original statement, even though the impact is much smaller with some statements than with others.
Meon, when I saw your post, my first thought was that someone must have ignored the instructions in the op. Then I saw the post before yours and it made more sense.
LB – I’m super-impressed! You’re doing a much better job of answering than I could have! Shkoyach!!
Meno – never underestimate your influence on others! (Most people do and I have a feeling you might in particular).
Boruch Hashem! Im Yirtzeh Hashem by all of us!
GAW – well since there is nothing less than 10 agurot, I guess I have nothing to worry about đ It’s a good thing that 5 agurot no longer exists.
I didn’t say that at all. You are hearing what you want to hear.
Only if it was a k’zayis and if you had in mind that it was Shushan Purim and that you were eating it as a segula to be zoche to keep Shushan Purim next year in Yerushalayim Habenuya, and if you included that in the l’sheim yichud.
The best thing to have done would have been to have eaten a second k’zayis of hamantashen after tzeis hakochavim and to have had in mind that if the first one was eaten b’zman, then the first one should count for the first day of Purim and the second one for Shushan Purim, but if it was really already Shushan Purim, then the first one should count for Shushan Purim and the second one should be tashlumim for the first day.
I’ve had challah with chocolate chips. It was yum!
First of all, exchanging mishloach manos and being friends are two separate issues. There is a specific halacha regarding mishloach manos.
There is also a separate halachic issue regarding being friends. If the friendship is for the purpose of seeing if this is someone you want to marry (in otherwords you are really dating the person but you are calling it “being friends”) then I would imagine that it MIGHT be permitted, but you would have to really be sure that it is for “toeles” purposes and that this is a guy who makes sense for you and whom you are SERIOUSLY considering marrying.
Often, girls will fool themselves into thinking it’s for “toeles” when they really know that they are not seriously considering marrying the guy and/or that he is not a good match for her.
Shopping – my mother knows the song from her childhood, and I think her mother a”h did before her. My friend told me that it’s an old black slave song. It’s definitely very old.
DY: “Gavra, ????? always means a ??? ?????.’
That’s interesting. I hadn’t realized that. L’maaseh, I don’t think I gave anyone less, but it’s good to know. I wonder how much that is in shekalim.
cotton candy
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Wow – you’ve been working on it a long time!
Thanks WTP for satisfying my curiousity!
lol. that is funny. What was the end of the story? Did she really learn a lot and did the article make sense in the end, or was it the opposite?
lesschumras – thanks so much for rephrasing in a way that gets the point across without being insulting!
“Thank you for clarifying which post.”
I think it might also have been this:
“If this is not Purim Torah you clearly have too much time on your hands”
It does look like you deleted something (I think it must have been the main problematic comment) so thank you for that! Much appreciated!
And thanks, YYTZ!
Lesschumras: “LU, LB is obviously sincere but also quite naive. You can’t accept and and treat every minhag and old wives tale the same. From what I’ve seen, to her every word of every Rav must be believed as halacha mSenai. Somewhere and somehow she has to develop the ability to separate the wheat from the chaff. Utter naivete can be as ultimately problematic as utter cynicism”
True, and I don’t think anyone would disagree with you on what you wrote in this post. The problem was the way it was phrased in the original post. This is much better, I think (although we can let LB be the judge of that).
At the same time though, try to keep in mind that it’s not so simple l’maaseh. She is a beginner and she is trying to figure things out and Judaism is confusing. And while everyone keeps telling her she needs a Rav or that she shouldn’t believe what everyone tells her, she has to first figure out who that Rav should be and what hashkafa he should have, and she can only do that by investigating and exploring and questioning and trying to figure things out. That is exactly what she is trying to do with her questions!
If she is asking questions, it is precisely BECAUSE she is not simply accepting everything but is in fact trying to figure things out.
It’s a process and she is doing a good job of proceeding.
I agree. I think it’s very strange.
I never heard of that halacha before, but I am wondering if an enemy whom you are trying to befriend by sending mishloach manos would be different.
But he bumpd the thread! So I thought maybe that means that he really does love us. That is what I am trying to figure out.
Anyhow, he must love us or why would he always be giving us mussar?
raisins
apples
Are there people who actually like hamantashen?
Sorry, but that’s ridiculous! I have never heard such a thing. All the Chareidi people I know think these things are very important and part of one’s Avodas Hashem.
If that is what you have been hearing, I suspect that you either have the wrong impression or else the people you know are the Mitchareid type (people who grew up modern and became Chareidi as opposed to people who were always Chareidi). Often, people who are mitchareid develop Baal teshuva syndrome which is a tendency to go to extremes that are not reflective of normal mainstream Chareidi society.
In any case, it sounds like you know the wrong people. I think you need to find a way to meet other types of Chareidim than the ones you know now. The daughters of one of my most Chareidi friends (they go to the Snif) take all sorts of classes. At least one of them is extremely artistic and took art classes.
So KJ do you really love everyone or not? I’m confused.
Why not just eat an ice cream sandwich or an ice cream cone (with a sugar cone of course).
Feivel +1 That was really nice!
Why not just eat ice cream? That’s even yummier!
melon
eggs
lox
omelet
nutella
upside-down cake (that took a long time to come up with, and I’m quite proud!)