Forum Replies Created
@Lior I’m sorry, First I was contemplating if I should reply to your post or not. And I decided I will.
I do not accept your post as a reply to mine. And I’ll explain why.
“Because” I sadly don’t need anyone welcoming me to golus. And I don’t want to speak for anyone else but I don’t think anyone needs it either. Sadly we all live plenty in golus. Some feel it more and some less. Some remember it more and some less, and some even more. My question wasn’t why it’s happening, my question is if anyone else had a personnel situation where they felt that some one verbally attacked in the street more now than in recent years?
And your 1000% correct we are in Golus.
@Letakein Girl I agree. I should of reread it before I posted. If there is anyway to correct it please let me know.
I’m glad you brought it up. Actually, I’d like to thank you for bringing it up.
#1 For your self, it’s great that you are expressing your self. So at least you can “maybe” get an idea from some of the replies why neighbors might not offer to help or take your boys to shul.
#2 I would just like to give you my opinion or rather feeling below. And maybe it could help someone. First I’d like to ask you to please, please do not hold it against anyone. People just don’t know what to say or do. Not everyone has the Z’chus to have the knowledge and the courage to help others. The bottom line is most people are good and they afraid they will hurt your feelings. So, I know this might be a hard one for you. But if you really feel you need the help don’t be afraid to ask. And even then some might jump to help and some might not for personnel reasons that you’ll never know. Example: I’d love to bring home a shabbos guest every week. But I know it would be to stressful for my wife or kids etc.. So I don’t even bring it up. I look for other Chesed Mitzvas to do.
So please don’t hold it against them, and if you feel you can ask them try. And for all you know they might be thanking you.
Why am I writing all this? (Sorry I can’t write details, not to give it all away.)
I have two divorced people living on my block.
I always see things that make me feel so bad, that I wish I just had the courage to walk over to them and ask them if I could help.
(And that is exactly why I thank you for bringing it up.)
But on the other hand, I am always worried for two things, #1 what if I defend anyone. (Even though I know that as long as I don’t say anything hurtful I shouldn’t worry) #2 I’m afraid, that will start asking for to much or for things I can not help them with. And by nature if I start helping someone I can’t just do it half way.
The main point what is bothering me and I always think I should help but then think it’s not my business.
I’ll bring this out and I’ll leave it at that even tough I have more examples.
One divorcee is a father who has a handsome young boy old enough that he looks like he will be Bar Mitzvah in a year or two. But he dose not bring his son to shul. I have a strong feeling that one reason he doesn’t come is because he has a complex or who knows what. He stays home with his sibling from the opposite gender who is way way older and nebech nebech “looks like she would be a very bad influence on his neshomah. But she looks like a very caring sister. believe me I’m not judging her. But the way she dresses I almost resent living on the block with my children. But on the other hand. I keep on thinking. What can I do or say to these people to make them feel liked and part of “US”. The father works hard all day. The son comes home to an empty house, the sis I think has a job. I more then once wanted to ask the pops where his son is in shul and get in to a conversation. But held my self back. Not to say the wrong thing. Obviously the dad knows where the child should be, or maybe not. Or maybe he just can’t help it. He’s a nice guy, I always greet him and say how are you and that’s about it.
Then, recently, we have another divorcee on the block. And this is a women we are talking about. I have no clue who they are. And the history. But she ended up with a few boys. What can I tell you. My heart go’s out for them. They come in to Shul on their own take a Siddur and do not leave their seats until we finish Davening. I Do greet them. Even though I’m not sure if they know where I live. But I know it doesn’t matter. I do it because I want them to feel like they are noticed. They are not a fly on the wall. But I wish I could do more for them. The answr is maybe yes and maybe no. But a good word. A hello, good morning, good shabbos. will not insult anyone.
You can try Mrs.K in Borough Park. on 45th Street corner New Utrecht Ave. They have a very good reputation for selling things that are modest since its owned and run buy a frum lady.
Honestly, no one can decide on another persons Paycheck if it’s a big hit or not. I don’t get paid a lot and I’m not a book keeper so I couldn’t tell you other peoples numbers.
From my check a whole $13 was deducted.
I thought you would be a ger up to Ten generations if your mother is a real Geyoris. am I wrong? So doing the Hatafa just confirms it. I would think. I would not take a Halachic advice from here. I’m sure this must be hard for you, please take the strength and go over to a Rabbi’s house and have a talk with him.
Some use, a head set in stead of Bluetooth. Its the thing that goes around your head almost like head phones but only half way with mic. I think many of those work with blur tooth as well. Its not the first option, but if you keep on loosing them then you might want to try those.
If you are referring to Crocks then I’ll tell you how feel about it.
I think not only is it disgusting your going in to “Baal Tishaktzu”
People are just lazy to go get their shoes and walk in to shul with crocks.
And I’m not talking about someone with foot problems.
This is my opinion: Hope its not too long.
The question is what is the lock for? Is it for when they are inside the room? or when they leave the room/house?So no one can enter even Totty or Mommy? Some people no matter what age they are like things to be private, have things a certain way, nice and neat not moved around things borrowed and not returned etc.. especially teenagers I think. Let’s say if you live in a house with a bunch of kids and some have a tendency to take with out asking etc.. Or if they say they want to study/homework and the 10 year old needs to nudge at that time.
Now if it is for something like that you need to know who your dealing with, you need to have some trust, if you live in a smaller apartment or in a house where there is no place for some one to hide for some privacy to rest, read a book, study, then some consideration needs to be given.
One example I know a family that had to buy a little case with a lock for one child because the other had a eating disorder and they couldn’t keep any nosh, snack for the next day laying around, it was either the the lock or nothing at all and that’s not fear.
But the healthy adults are able to get in and put in nosh and clean the box etc..
Now if it’s for when they leave the house the question is how old they are? If they are children that depend on your care no matter how old they are you should have access to that room at all times. And not because you don’t want to trust them, you tell them its because you do want to trust them, Totty and Mommy also share the same room and there is a difference between hiding things and not touching someones things with out permission. It’s ok to lock a door, but not to let anyone in is not right.
Now, if its an adult child living in your house I thing it depends on the condition’s and terms you have worked out. It depends on the situation and if you feel you need to have access to that room then discuss it respectfully with them. Everyone is entitled to respect and privacy.
By the way I knock before entering my Second Graders room as well, if the door is not open. You teach them respect by giving it.
My daughter likes.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi,
Health, This thread is getting more absurd by the post. I can tell from some posts on here that they never had a therapy session in their life. And they are stam hocking a cheinik.
I am just wondering how many of you have actually had the opportunity to see a therapist. I started reading some of your posts and I stopped. Not all of them, some of you are so irresponsible. I don’t think the person asking the question asked an halachic question. And even if yes, the answer should always be. “Ask a Rav, A Rabbi, or Dean, Rosh Yeshivah, etc.. some one you would ask other shailos. Its not so simple, as a yes or no answer. Sometimes their might be reasons to permit and sometimes not. And to answer the question like it is. Only someone that was/is in the situation should and could answer this.
Now if I may I will try to answer the question,
Again Personally please find a Rav to talk to as well. But don’t assume its enough they are busy and they are not therapists. Make a kesher with one to ask all your question, if you don’t know one we can try to help you find one.
Now about the therapy, I think it all depends on why you need to go, and if your going for your self or for your self because of some one else. Sometimes you can feel more comfortable with a person of the opposite gender that will have more understanding to your concerns and you will speak more. Example: Josh go’s to a man therapist, he feels very funny talking to a man about how his wife dresses or treats him or doesn’t bathe or things that are worse. He feels that a women will understand better, he might open up and talk more. Not that I’m saying that the man doesn’t understand its just that some might feel that way. Same with a women, She might feel uncomfortable talking to someone in the same gender about issues Example: my husband dose this wierd thing or that, etc… That’s why it really depends on the situation and why you need to go.
How early? In which part are you staying? So we can save you time.
What are you looking at?November 11, 2012 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm in reply to: I want to share my feeling about somthing. Derech Eretz Kudmu L'Torah #1072997
This what I’m talking about. And if you think no ones watching, think again.
I agree with everything posted above. But I wan to add one thing. Don’t be a lawyer between the grand children and thier parents if not asked too. It will make the adults hate you and the children will pick up on it.
If I may chime in.
When I was growing up, we were told somthing that sounds very simliar and it could well be that it’s true and you don’t get the concept. And by the way becuase I was brought up this way I can’t stand when my son dose it so I will ask him to wear slippers. Some children & even grown ups have a habbit of kicking there shoes off under the table. We were told that it’s not Shabbosdig to go around with out shoes because an Avul go’s with out shoes during the week. That is still true today, So basicly you can understand the concept. Now for you to get the kids to not kick there shoes off is a chalange and for her to get that is even harder because she had kids a long time ago. And I think you can tell her I understand about the not wearing shoes on shobbos, but for kids its hard and you will work on it at home.
About her having different opinons is like this. If it’s in her house she can have her rules but if they affect you? what ever they are you need to decide if you can live with them or not. If not, then try not to go there. Trust me, It took me a while. I got very nervous every time my father inlaw bud in everytime I had somthing to tell my young children. Every time I sang a song he told me how it go’s different, and some other things. I didn’t argue with him. I just stopped going there for Shabbos at one point. I have all different excuses, not to go there and they are all true. That’s what he accomplished. My biggest excuse is the best. It’s Shabbos and I need my own bed. I’m a little older than I was ten years a go.
In your house? you are the boss. Yes, every one gets respect, but the rules are yours. If you say plastic plates then its plastic. no arguments needed. I think the problem is, and corect me if I’m wrong. You start feeling put down, if everything is not the way she wants. But you know what it dosnt matter a bit. What you could do is, next time she comes serve everyone on plastic and serve her on china if she asks you why say respectfuly. We usally use plastic to make it easier for us on motzie Shabbos but I know you like China so L’Chovod You I took out china. If she has brains sh’ll say you dont have to.
But then on the other hand. It could well be that your MIL was brought up in a home where they stressed issues on Chovod Shabbos, that’s what it sounds like. About the shoes, and here about China. My grandparents hardly took out a plastic plate and buying a dishwasher was never a thought. So that gos back to the your house her house rules.
Is she from Eroupe by any chance? over there they are very in to China ðŸ™‚
In Boro Park I think I voted in between the first and second plane hit. I came out and caught a paper with burn marks on it. I didn’t know how serious it was. I would of kept it.September 10, 2012 9:58 pm at 9:58 pm in reply to: Boro Park Residents – Urgent Kashrus Alert awarrness #896129
Lesschumras: I agree with you 150%September 9, 2012 5:58 pm at 5:58 pm in reply to: Boro Park Residents – Urgent Kashrus Alert awarrness #896126
How interesting I Googled the name of the Rabbi and look what came up. I’m not trying to connect the two.
Just sharing that post.September 9, 2012 2:50 pm at 2:50 pm in reply to: Boro Park Residents – Urgent Kashrus Alert awarrness #896124
Who cares if I’m bias or not. It’s not the point here.
The Point of my post is an awarenes to the BP comunity that this Store is not the Kosher you think it is. It’s a diffrent Kosher that we do not hold from. That’s how I explain it to my 10 year old. It is Cholov Akim and Pas Akim. I don’t tell my children. Look he’s eating treif. I tell them just because he/she eats there dosn’t mean we should. We try our best to control our selfs what we put in our mouths. His Rav says he could eat there, because he’s Maikil on certain Halacha’s. That dosnt make him a goy.
I didn’t come out here to make arguments. Or to attack any Non Cholov Yisroel Hechsher. If that’s what your custom is then this Post is not for you.
Unless if it’s getting you all worked up. Then maybe you need to look in to why.September 9, 2012 1:25 pm at 1:25 pm in reply to: Boro Park Residents – Urgent Kashrus Alert awarrness #896123
2qerty: my point is one person says its Rav Gornish’s hechsher, and with out even checking they just assume its true. The sign with the kashruth certificate is right in from of the store.
WIY: That is correct the donuts most likley have milk. Plus its is NOT pas Yisroel.
BigGolem: who gave you that name? That’s how reform judisam started. Everyone minding thier own business is not a yiddishe concept. If you see people do somthing they might not know that its not right you shouldn’t have to think its not politicaly correct if you make them aware.
And to the rest. It’s seems that most of you get my point.
And Yes, its not the first DD with this Rabbis Hechsher, but its the first one in Boro Park and unfortunately some people do before they Think, they see one person go on and every one thinks its ok.
And this post was for 99.90% of yidden in BP that do not and don’t want to eat pas akin and cholov akim
Mark levin: Was your Rabbis Husband at slichos last night?
Chaverim did not start in Wiliamsburg, it was in Boro Park first.
And the directors have nothing with Satmar.
Let’s be fear.August 27, 2012 2:31 pm at 2:31 pm in reply to: inexpensive way to provide $$$ to student in Seminary #893173
Did you hear of a gift card? That would be the easiest. If you dont want to bother with a bank account etc..
It’s usally a visa or master card etc… You buy it in the bank or I was told its even easier to get one at CVS Pharmacy. But I’m not sure you can add money to those. Walk in to a chase bank, thats where I got one last week, or ask at a cvs. TD also has it. A credit card account is enough to get the card in bank.
What they do is, they ad the cash to the card on the spot and you have a visa for as long as thier is cash in the card. when it becomes empty the card is garbage.
I don’t have a child learning over seas yet. But I can tell you that’s not the only saftey concern I would have and probably the smallest. If I was this concernd as you are and rightfuly you are. Go in to any hardware homeware store in your area and buy a smoke/carbon dedector for less then twenty dollars. One set of Batteries will get you through atleast one Zman.
I wish you a lot of nachas.
B”H he was found,
How did they know it was him maybe the other one was missing and said it was him missing? J/K
These two brothers are a probably so close, they do shows togeather all summer & all winter long.
I could just imagine him wanting a break and spliting from his brother for couple hours.
Think of it he’s 23, what if he want’s to start looking for a shiduch. Is the other twin going to follow him? or call the police that one of them are missing?
Interesting pair, do they know a word english yet? if not you can really get lost.
If you want to be a Machmer and be m’chabud/Honor the Holy Shabbos it would for sure be nice to have a special pair. If it looks not shabbosdig then it is probably not an honor. But your not a mechlul shabbos if thats all you can afford.
I knew a person from Pre war Eroupe who even war a different Yarmeluka and and made sure never to wear pure black pant on shabbos. So it should be sepecial for Shabbos.
That’s why many Rebbe’s wear White pants on shabbos. That you should see it’s different from a whole week.
In some villages in Poland they ate stuffed pigeon on Shabbos in the Cholent. Can you imagine you serving that to your guest in 2012.
It’s a true Story that happened many years a go. When smoking at Chasunah’s was more popular. A Rebbe was sitting at the head table of a wedding of the Daizsha family. the Rebbe said Daizsha Rebbe “Ir kent mir geben a Cigeretel?” Five hands with cigerets come flying his way.