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My son was also a Psych major, but ultimately made the decision that he had a wider and more diverse set of options going into Social Work, so he is doing his mAsters in that field.Prince Charming is right – it is more flexible, and one can be a therapist with an MSW, if that is the intent of having pursued a Psych degree.
One more thing – does the expression “Hakol doshin bo” mean the same thing as “everybody is doing it?” If so, that’s not a reason for it to be permitted. People do a lot of things that they shouldn’t, because “eveyone else” does it. We try to teach our kids that peer pressure to do bad things is WRONG! Please enlighten me, someone – I am unfamiliar with the term of doshin bo. Maybe I am in error here.
42, heheheheh
done. May she have a refuah shelaima b’soch sh’or cholei Yisroel.
People have babies, get new jobs, change schedules, have kids who need the computer, etc. I am only on-line when no one else in my family needs to be, or if I have some free time in-between things I am doing (i.e. babysitting my granddaughter, while she naps, or doing laundry, etc.). There are a myriad of reasons why people may or may not be posting these days. It’s their prerogative, either way.
“i ask you why is it so important that it be assur? you had some very good points. smoking should be stopped regardless of its halachaic status “
Why? Because there are many things that are taivos to us, and we WILL do them – unless we know that these things are assur. I don’t go through red lights or stop signs.
It is against the law. If it were not against the law, I might be tempted to do so. Many people will do the right thing ONLY when it is a law and they HAVE to. The reason we have a Torah and cannot rely on our own objective morality of what is right and wrong, is that objective morality changes with time and circumstance. Only the Torah is L’netzach, and only the Torah gives us the blueprint for living a true moral life in an unchanging, always relevant state.
The Ten Commandments were not the Ten Suggestions. Were they the latter, I guarantee you that many Jews would break most of them. When it comes to Kashrus, we don’t say that we can’t eat chazir because it tastes bad. We say efshar aval lo muttar. It may taste AWESOMELY good, but is not permitted to us, and I will not eat it, for that single reason. Smoking needs to be stated as assur, so that there will be a similar wall in front of it, to prevent people from lighting that very first cancer stick. And even more, if every dollar spent on cigarettes were instead to be given to tzedaka, we could help a whole lot of people. If one has that much money to set fire to, at least put it to good use for more people than just oneself. JMO.
Oomis is a pet name given to me by my son when he got married. It is a form of “Ema,” which is really what I am called by my children. The “oomis” was a joke that stuck. When I needed a Screen Name and couldn’t think of anything in the moment that had not already been taken by someone else, Oomis seemed like one that no one else had claimed as yet.
Think Big, as you are here on this blog and not doing those other things mentioned at the same time, apparently you find it to be enjoyable, entertaining, and a refreshing exchange of ideas. I do not consider those things to be a waste of time, because they are part of communicating with other people, something some of us need to learn how to do a little better. An anonymous forum is an ideal place to start.
I meant to add to Best Bubby – if you cannot get Tilex (brand) can you get a solution of Sodium Hypochlorite? That is what Tilex basically is. It is a MUCH stronger form of regular chlorine bleach. I have found it to be invaluable in removing really stubborn stains from fabric safe/color safe items. I have used it to spot clean a white tablecloth from wine stains that were already set-in. You have to be careful, as some “whites” really are not white, they are white-colored and the bleach actually discolors them. But if I tried to clean something and nothing helped, I would be inclined to get rid of it, so the Tilex is always a last-ditch effort on such an item, and I have saved many of my husbands shirts that way. (I once left an entire load of white shirts in the laundry, damp, because it was erev yom tov and I forgot to dry them before bensching licht. By the time I was doing another laundry MANY days later, and discovered the wet shirts, they were so full of mold and mildew I was going to throw them out. I tried regular clorox, but it didn’t remove the black spots. Then I got the brilliant idea to try the Tilex on them. If it worked on the tiles, why not on the shirts? I sprayed each spot individually and it was amazing, B”H.
As with any bleach product keep it separate from the ammonia bottles.
” am new on this website and I always find your advice very sound and helpful, especially with the shidduch scene. Be matzliach and may we continue to help each other! “
Wow, Best Bubby, you made my day. Thank you. And I can only echo your own last line with an amein.
Bottom line, many decades ago, most Rabbonim did not yet fully know of the absolute sakana of smoking, both to the smoker and to those exposed to the secondhand smoke. Now they do, and a p’sak sometimes DOES get modified as new information is discovered, and rabbonim realize that the original heter was based on incomplete evidence.
There may also be people who stopped posting because something obnoxious was said to them, and they were not able to let it roll off. Many people are timid about posting, and when they finally get up the courage and are insulted, they go back into lurker mode.
I wonder if the objections that our Gedolim (if any feel this way) might have to sports, might possibly harken back to the time of the Greeks who spent inordinate amounts of time in the Gymnasium. Many hellenized Jews were doing so as well, so there is a truly bad association in their eyes with ANY type of sports activity that involves play. Maybe they fear it will result in a new “hellenization.” I still think that all legal and moral things including exercise, are good in moderation, and that is not MY hashkafa, it is fact.
Too many to list.
And do you not think it is high time that Yeshivahs started to recognize that ball-playing is NOT a bad thing? What makes a bachur more chashuv for not playing a healthy sports activity:? I am NOT suggesting they sit and WATCH sports, but rather actively PLAY, which is a terrific outlet, refreshes the mind and body, and burns off excess energy that might otherwise be channeled into less acceptable directions.
I would also prefer not to hear the word “chashuv” used at all in regards to boys in Yeshivah. Chashivus comes in all shapes and colors, so to speak, and the fact that a boy sits in the Beis M. all day, makes him no more chashuvv than the boy who earns a parnassah, learns, and yes, makes time to unwind by playing a few games of ball to blow off steam in a healthy way.
If boys need an outlet, a good game of basketball would be far healthier than smoking. They don’t get enough physical activity as it is, sitting in the Beis Medrash all day. It would not hurt them to get some exercise, which gives a natural “high.”
” I just wonder why “Dayenu” is being played in the month of Tevet? “
Well that’s a lot better than all the December holiday songs being played before November.
beinhasedorim, you were not harsh in any way, shape, or form. “Hocheach Tochiach es amitecha” means that we have to give this mussar, EVEN when someone perceives it as tochacha.
I have only one memory of my father Z”L’s father who was a Rov, and that is one of sitting on one lap, as my sister sat on the other one, on our couch, which was pushed out of the way because we were getting new carpeting. I could not have been more than three or four years old. My Zaidy O”H was a beautiful man with a long, long white beard (no cracks about this time of year), anda real twinkle in his eyes, and my mother loved her shver very much, especially as she lost her own father when she was 12. my paternal Bubby O”H was very sickly all the days I knew her, and I cannot recall ever being hugged or kissed by her, though I know she was a loving mother and grandmother.
My maternal Bubby O”H lived with us, as I said for the last thirty years of her life in her late 80s. She really took care of us, as my mom worked with my dad for all those years. She truly epitomized the words of Eishes Chayil, and though widowed at a very young age, raised two daughters on her own, never went on Welfare, and was mekabeles kol echad b’sever panim yafos. She had a hard life, but remained positive, happy, and hardworking without complaint. My happiest memories are of her teaching me how to make challah (which she did at dawn every Friday morning). She was also an amazing baalas chessed, who though poor herself, made up food baskets and challah, and before dawn,hand-delivered them to a newly-widowed woman and family in her neighborhood, so she would not be seen. On those days, she took my mother with her to help carry the food. It was a great lesson for my mother to see growing up. I love all my grandparents, but I miss her as much as I miss my parents. And Purim will never be the same for me, because I will always light a yartzeit licht for that day.
always 23 and also mimaamakim
If she really was serious, then I would make a donation to Tzedaka (one which SHE supports) in her name, with a nice note sent to her (the nice note should be sent as a thank you anyway). If your friend has young siblings, you could have brought something for them.
Yup, this one really GETS you in the kishkes, all right!!!!!! Thanks for ruining my artfully applied mascara. What a moving song!
A dog is not for everyone, but for those who love pets, you cannot ask for a more loyal, protective one. As I had said earlier, we would never have gotten a dog. I spent the first ten years of my life terrified of them, and neither of my parents wanted a chayeh in the house (other than a parakeet). But when that dog came into our yard as I described, he had such chein, and we were all emotionally vulnerable as it was, due to the loss we had suffered, that we were all hooked immediately. He was unbelievably protective of us – no burglar would have ever even tried to break in, and if a stranger came to the house, he was immediately on guard and ever-watchful until we told him to relax. He also always waited up for my parents to come home from work (they had very late hours), and never went to sleep until they walked in the door.
For a frum person who wants to have a dog in the home, there are ways to do so, without compromising halachic issues, Shabbos or otherwise.
” But being judgmental towards smokers is thouhgtless and borders arrogance. no one appreciates it”
People are judgmental, as you put it, because the smoker is not only harming him/herself. We also have to breathe in the polluted environment that the smoker has filled with assorted toxins. In this equasion, the only thoughtless people tend to be those smokers who(bordering on arrogance) feel the sense of entitlement to smoke where and when they want, no matter whose lives are being affected by it. If one wishes to smoke, then perhaps he should get a helmet like the astronauts wear in space, and smoke while wearing it. At least he will be the only one breathing that foul stuff.
I didn’t know that a piece of clove would work. I do know that OIL of cloves calms a toothache.
Practical answers to some of Bombmaniac’s questions:
“Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?”
(Not true. Trust me.)
“Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?”
(Because when we need to focus one of our senses more fully, it helps to take away the distractions affecting our other senses.)
“Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?”
(Aren’t they the metatarsals?)
“Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?”
(I have often asked myself the same thing – :), but I would imagine that it may be because there are poor people who actually EAT cat food, and it would be really gross).
“Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?”
(Not if they want to keep their jobs, they don’t!)
“What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? “
(Probably “none” or “N/A” )
Hope this helps us all get some sleep tonight.
AGUG, my Rov HAS said it is assur to smoke. Clearly your rov holds a differing opinion. I suspect that is probably because smoking is such a powerful addiction, the rabbonim who say it is not assur are afraid that if they actually pasken that it IS assur, they will be responsible for the all-day-long aveiras that their bochurim will be committing by continuing to smoke in spite of the issur.
A600KB, throw in a pina colada and I am SO there!
“In regard to Social Work ethics, not every therapy has to be incorporated into your practice. People respect your religious opinions in most settings. Also, think about working in the frum community, you can help out so much!!”
While that may be true when you open a practice, it does not hold true for your field work and classroom sessions. You are expected to implement all types of therapy and that may include some things that run counter to Torah observance, so it may take a little footwork to avoid being put in compromising circumstances.
Maybe your mother is just a better cook?
Ok, now I think I have a better picture of what is being asked. Same gender relations fundamentally eat away at the core of the “Bayis Ne’eman” whether b’Yisroel or elsewhere. Noach’s sons also had to abide by this law. When we accept as “normal” any kind of lifestyle that is not based in a typical male/female marriage, it begins to erode the concept of what Hashem wants for us. That is NOT to say, chalilah, that a single parent (by divorce or widowed) cannot raise happy children, or that even same-gender households or parenting cannot constitute a good “family,” but it is not the ideal that Hashem wants us to live, and is forbidden by the Torah, so that is reason enough to decry it.
Since we already acknowledge that this is a toeiva in His eyes, we need to distance ourselves from the idea that this is normal. It is not normal, it is an aberration to man’s nature, though a tragic one, because many same gender couples are loving and caring to each other, and are very productive members of society at large. Nonetheless, the fact that gays can raise families in a loving environment, and can be very fine people in all respects, does not mean that we have to accept their behavior as normal. Hate the sin, but love the sinner.It may be normal for THEM, but it is still a toeiva.
What if someone wanted to marry his pet? Maybe he really LOVES his dog! It would still be unnatural, against the Torah, and all the political correctness in the world does not change that. Believe me, I FEEL for people in this situation. They may not view their lives as tragic, but it is. No one would deliberately choose to be this way, but given what they feel they are, they want to live their lives as the rest of us do. I would rather pass legislation to give them a specific designation that gives them all the same rights as a married couple, but I am unalterably opposed to it being called “marriage.” I am also tired of hearing this lifestyle being compared to black and white people being allowed to marry. One has nothing to do with the other. Even though miscegenation was against the law at one time (and still is, in some states, I believe), it was a law not based on G-d’s Law, and deserved to be changed. And that is how I am guided in my life.
I have ester C, I take it with the zinc. It definitely helped.
Doversh, I have no doubt this pharmacy is making great stuff for dandruff and other things. I just wanted to comment about the notion that people have that “natural” means safe to use. Raw milk from the cow is also natural, and people died from drinking it before it was pasteurized. Marijuana is also natural, as is opium, etc. etc. You get the idea. Just because something is natural does not = harmless. Just a caveat to all. We always need to check out product safety before use.
“youll find that many rosh yesheiva rabbanim that are well respected among our comunitty smoke. what do you say to that”
I would probably say that rabbonim are not infallible, sometimes they are not sufficiently up-to-date in certain areas, and they are subject to the same taivas as we all are. Unfortunately, as a result, they may sometimes be nichshal. That does not take away from their deserving to be respected, but a loving family member or respected peer should set them straight.
“I had a bad experience with part two, when not used as directed.
So I loook out for my peoples. 😉 OUCH! NOT AGAIN!!! “
Did you perhaps mean look out for your PUPILS????
St. Moritz, like EASY-OFF or Mr. Muscle, is dangerous when mishandled. Children should never be allowed anywhere near it, of course. That goes without saying. Lock it up in a cabinet WITH A KEY and only have access to it yourself. What do you do with your bleach and ammonia? Kids can get into anything, including their grandparents’ or parents’ medication, so a bisseleh seichel is called-for. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, just be very careful. I never tried St. Moritz (Well Done, is the actual name of the product) on clothing, but I HAVE successfully used Tilex on white shirt mildew stains, when regular bleach did not work sufficiently well, and it saved those shirts which I was ready to cut up for rags, plus it also works great in coffee cups.
I pushed off a bad cold in situ, three times so far, by taking extra zinc and vitamin c. C alone did not do it.
As to the bad dandruff – iff it is so bad that it looks like cradle cap, there is more than mere dandruff going on and I would check with a dermatologist.
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway? WHY, why why, please tell me, SOMEONE?????????????????
The ones you didn’t get were:
#5 the number of planets (the former number I should say, as Pluto has been demoted) in our solar system.
24. and expression – It takes two to tango.
25. 76 trombones… is a song in the Music Man
26. I think the 8 great tomatoes is a line form a Hunt’s Tomato Sauce commercial.
28. 23 skiddoo is an old expression from the flapper days
29. For he’s a Jolly Good Fellow – Which nobody can deny (another old song)
32. 7 Deadly Sins – are things like Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Pride. etc.
33. 2.5 children in a typical American family – an expression reflective of the “average” American family. Obviously no one has half a child. it is merely a statistic.
Hope this cleared things up for you.
I did not mean to imply criticism of the moderators, so please do not take it as such. I merely wondered why some threads were closed, because there did not appear (at least in some) to be anything going on that was problematic. You have given the answer to that question and I am 100% forsquare for Derech Eretz in all things. And I certainly do not intend to form my opinions based on speculation, misinformed or otherwise.
“My position is rational, intelligent, and holy, and yours is that of a simple-minded, irrational, hypocritical and fundamentalist fool”
And that line that you use an example, is a perfect example of an abrasive comment that you are correct, should never be allowed to see the light of day. It’s calling someone a fool. The mods can put a stop to that by warning the poster privately that his or her post was rejected for that reason. I guess I was brought up to be a little more sensitive to people’s feelings, even when posting anonymously, and hnopefully I always do post respectfully. I just find it hard to believe it when I see some people who feel anything goes because it’s the internet. I find onaas devarim to be very offensive personally, and it is a great contributor to sinas chinam.
oomis
You have no idea why certain actions are taken.
We are unable to explain the reasons for many actions so as to not embarrass certain people.
We are not willing to make public, posts and edited comments that you do not see.
Go ahead and form your opinions based on misinformed speculation.
We will continue to try and preserve a Torah outlook and derech eretz as much as possible.
No more comments on this subject will be posted here
“Let’s all wear colorful shirts and redt shidduchs. “
Can they be redt shirts?
Great idea. Mod-77 “
I just saw your response tonight, Mod 77. Well, I actually think it’sd a PUNderful idea!!!!
Beinhasdorim – LOL!!!!!
Thank you, happyOOTer.
Why go to the Gemarah or Medrash? The Torah shebichsav specifically assers ANY intimate relationship of a physical nature between two men, and it implies the same about women when it warns us not to follow the practices of Canaan (whose people were notorious for their abominable immoral practices, including same gender relations). There is no question it is assur.
BTW, virtually every smoker I have ever met uses that same old , tired argument about obesity. It is apples and oranges, my friend, and you are trying to deflect when you mention other issues when the real issue is the harm that SMOKING causes to the smoker and the unfortunate rest of the world. If you want to start a thread about obesity, bring it on, but on another thread.
“oomis: That’s really a beautiful story. My mother used to hallucinate about pigs. I’m really glad one of those didn’t show up. 🙂 “
I just had my first real laugh of the day, getting a visual from your post! As to the pigs, well, I have had a few people at my Shabbos tish who might have fit that description!!!! 🙂
I am here, ready or not ;