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Thoughtful response: your explanation does not hold water for commodities that are shipped from elsewhere. All meat and most groceries and sold in Lakewood are not produced in Lakewood. The only difference would be the shipping costs to Lakewood which even if it is higher is minimal. It is the overall supply and demand on an INDUSTRY that will have that effect on prices.
I think prices are much more effected by attitudes and mindsets. If more people in Lakewood just buy items without concern for prices and don’t change spending habits, store owners will raise prices to what they can get away with. If Lakewood has become the Ir HaTorah Vehagashmius prices rise accordingly.
Check this out in a few weeks from now when people start buying arba minim. Compare the cheapest set (or average set) in Lakewood vs. Brooklyn. All of these goods are being shipped from elsewhere. I think that you will notice the prices are much higher in Lakewood than Brooklyn, Monsey, 5T, Passaic etc. You may say it is because people in Lakewood are more machshiv mitzvos or because the resident don’t think about it and just pay higher prices no matter what. The sellers will then adjust prices accordingly for the same exact sechora.
I do not live in Lakewood so I don’t know about all stores but I do occasionally visit. I have noticed that while I can often find some good deals on food in all the other major US east coast chariedi communities (Brooklyn, Monsey, 5 Towns etc.) it has been more rare to find good specials in Lakewood.
I assume babysitters is all based on a viscous cycle that as materialism goes up everyone needs to increase costs to keep up.August 28, 2023 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm in reply to: Who’s job is it to get the Shul involved in lecha dodi #2220700
Ahhh! Nishtday, you and are the only one who understood my words. You are truly worthy of becoming my talmid. Gadol Hadorah and Ah yid will need to spend more time in hisbodedus until you are ready. Either that or I should choose my words more carefully next time.
Legend has it that the first time someone sang Lecha Dodi in Ner Israel in Baltimore, the mashgiach R. Dovid Kronglass Z”TL (an Alter Mirer) walked out in protest. For those interested I may even hint to you who that baal tefila was.August 28, 2023 9:06 am at 9:06 am in reply to: Who’s job is it to get the Shul involved in lecha dodi #2220372
Back in slabodka we did not sing lecha dodi. This is an American invention in the litvishe kehilos and should be abolished
I had so much pleasure a few years when I called Geico to cancel my insurance because I found a better rate somewhere else. I told the operator “I have some great news! I just save over 15% by switching out of Geico!”
It could be that I was the only one in the conversation that was amused.
Avirah- Really? Learning camps have high expenses? Is it because kids who learn most of the day eat more? Maybe they need more supervision? Explain.
The short answer is because then can. Most are run as a for-profit business and they do that very well. The same for girl’s seminaries, matza and esrogim. If people did not pay it they would charge less.
An additional factor here is that each camp feels pressure to out do each other in lavishness of the trips. Remember when a trip outside of camp was a hike or at most a bus trip to Woodburn for pizza (bought at the camper expense)? Now if a traveling camp does not fly to exotic places like Alaska it is a nebach. This does not answer everything but it all comes back to the level of materialism that WE create puts pressure on the weakest.
When it comes to camps and seminaries it is worse. You try explaining to your kid why Mom and Dad think it is insane to pay for a month of camp close to what they pay for a years worth of tuition. Let me know how it goes.July 4, 2023 11:41 pm at 11:41 pm in reply to: It’s almost Rosh Chodesh Elul, does your daughter have a school yet?!? #2205670
Smaller schools also means bigger costs. In order to increase the available seats it would make sense to improve the economies of scale. Every small school would need it’s own administration, support staff, overhead costs, fundraising efforts etc. If we are having enough trouble finding $ for what we have wouldn’t it make sense to lower costs not increase them. Think about the cost per student in BMG vs. a yeshiva of 30 boys.
Girls schools also thrive on interaction with many friends and extra curricular activities. small schools would kill that.
No matter how we cut it, unless someone from the YWN CR is willing and able to step up and fund a solution we are not accomplishing much.July 4, 2023 12:29 pm at 12:29 pm in reply to: It’s almost Rosh Chodesh Elul, does your daughter have a school yet?!? #2205502
AAQ-It sounds like you are suggesting what we call today homeschooling. I challenge you to ask any of the girls rejected from all schools that they applied to and say “how would like to be homeschooled by Mrs. Greenberg down the block? She has a computer with real buttons that work and a cassette player with lots of good tapes”. See how that will fly.
If the parents with money don’t have their children rejected by schools and the only ones rejected are parents with average to below average incomes it is on the community as a whole to come up with a solution. That means a collective effort to develop a strategic plan to accommodate the constant growth (BH) that our community is known for. It is very nice that Roshei Yeshiva can get up in August and say that no school can open until every girl has a spot, but that is not a solution.
The community has enough money to support our growth. The proof is in the increased materialism which should be obvious to all. If we can appeal to people with the means to apply their money for good we can solve this problem way before the month before school starts.June 27, 2023 9:55 am at 9:55 am in reply to: It’s almost Rosh Chodesh Elul, does your daughter have a school yet?!? #2203329
It cost a lot of money and requires much effort to start your own school. It is easy to say “sure just buy a building, hire staff, market it and presto you have a school. Problem solved”.
The title has no real practical significance. At least not since the days of Yehoshua (?). Similar to the idea of Gadol Hador it is a honorary term. If some whosays who is Rabbi X? You can respond by saying He is soooooo great he is the Posek/gadol/tzadik Hador.
Let’s take Rabbi Akiva for example. I think most would say he achieved a very high title. Does that mean that we always pasken like Rabbi Akiva? No. Psak has a certain system and does not care about titles.
When it comes to the title Posek Hador IMHO it is more about who has contributed the most to psak halacha. Thirty years ago R. Moshe had few rivals in the Ashkenazi psak ( R. Sholomo Zalman?) and R. Ovadia had no rivals in Sfardi psak. This does not mean that we pasken like them. It just means that their word carries a lot of weight and we consider them heavily when considering how to pasken Lemaaseh.
Of course. It does not mean that there are not people who disagree with him or that we will often not pasken like him. However, the term generally means the one in the generation who commands the greatest level of respect in terms of psak over most others. For example a few who have attained such title : R. Yitchak Elchanan, R. Chaim Ozer & R. Moshe Feinstein. There are many times where the world is not noheig like a psak of R. Moshe. However, most would agree that in the last 20 years or so of his life there are few in the Ashkenazi world who contributed to modern day psak halacha like R. Moshe.
It is also worthhiel to note that not necessarily does every generation have someone to whom the world can point to as the posek hador. There is also a difference between a posek and a manhig.
Leave it to Square Root to dig up something irrelevant from the past in order stir up controversy. Perhaps you would like to tell us what R’ Chanaya Weissman had to say about this when it first cam out 27 years ago?
If they really need $ they may want to consider doing away with this unnecessary expense. My guess is that most of the people at the kiddush will go home and have a seudah. Not many people really need that extra food to help them make it home and probably even fewer people are relying on that kiddush for their shabbos seudah.
I am not at all familiar with this particular shul so please do not take this question the wrong way. I know of several shuls (outside of SI) which host a weekly kiddush using shul funds. If they have a sponsor, fine, but if not, they pay for it with communal funds. Although the officers of the shul are doing this to promote social interaction among members, I find it to be a wasteful use of communal funds. Does this shul on SI do the same, or is there only a kiddush if someone sponsors it?
I think that the neighbors have too much too.
I think a very worthy argument (which I have not heard on the news) is “What would you have done if you were on the train?” Would you allow neely to harm others? Do you know of a better way to restrain a violent man threatening others? If so, do you think your reflexes would have sprung into action and done that?
The concept of spinning an argument can be a very powerful one and should be used more often to defeat stupid points of view. For example, when Hamas Islamic Jihad etc , launches 1,000 rockets at Israeli citizens and Israel responds with airstrikes, they should ask the brain-dead liberal who complains “So what do recommend Israel should do?” then just sit quietly.
If you are seriously looking for input, you will need to give more information than “shtark young couples” or ” Tristate area”. In town or out of town? Cheap housing or is money no object? Chasidishe, MO, yeshivishe etc. Try to give more detail if you are looking for real answers. If you are just trolling then you will get some funny and some stupid answers.
For those of you who think that Aiva is not a real basis for a heter, ask anyone in Hatzala if they will answer a call on shabbos to help a non-Jew I think most would agree that chilul shabbos is a bigger issue than entering a church not for the purpose of A”Z
I just wanted to let everyone know that the Mesubin hand matzos that I had were delicious. $13 a pound and hechsher of of Badatz Eidah Hachareidis.
Of course, I did the oven trick. Works every time.
UJM- of course. OU is very straight about what they are maikil on and what they are machmir on. The are excellent at upholding the standards they have set. If you don’t like their standards go someone else at your own risk.
The hechsher for Shatzer were the same people who produced a smear campaign against another reputable hechsher for very unscrupulous reasons. About 20 years ago there was a meat-producing plant that did not give in to the strongarm tactics of this hechsher (call it hechsher A) so the plant dropped them. The other reputable hechsher (call it hechsher B) continued giving their hechsher and did not agree with the blackmail tactics. So Hechsher A ran a marketing campaign against hechsher B and said mozi shem ra against The Rav Hamchshir who is a major Tamid Chacham and posek.
I don’t see how anyone can trust a hechsher that uses blackmail and mozi shem ra as their modus operndi.
I know that Shatzer was around fr a long time but I questioned why they never got a normal reliable hechsher. Is it just because they felt they did not need it bec. people would buy from them anyway?
Questions regarding the care of STAM are best left to be answered by professional sofrim.
Questions regarding halacha are best left to be answered by bona fide poskim
Questions regarding phycological issues are best left to be answered by professional mental health professionals.
Questions regarding medical issues are best left are best left to be answered by professional doctors
All other major issues, like how to solve world peace, the shidach crisis, and any major issue regarding the Jewish community are best left to be answered in the YW coffee room.March 22, 2023 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm in reply to: Why did the Brisker Rav zt”l call giving brachos “shtusim”? #2175900
He was pushing back against the Chasidisization of Litvish Jewry. Since the time of the Brisker Rav more and more non chasidic Jews have adopted Chasidic practices and beliefs ( ex:reliance on segulahs). Classic Judaism says that if you want a bracha ask G-d and focus on becoming a better Jew. If asking for a bracha is a easy way out and an attempt to avoid the real work that is neccessary I understand why he pushed back.
On the other hand, think about the approach of R’ Chaim Kanievsky zt”l. He felt that even if people come to him with stupid requests (photo ops, dumb questions etc.) if it males people happy just do it. He saw it as an opportunity to do a chesed that no one else could do. There were plenty of things that R. Chaim would do that any sane person would agree are “shtuyot” but he did it because it made people happy.
I don’t remember the thin matza brand in Bingo. I just remember seeing two options and one had a box checked off on the side that said: “thin”. I think it was under the hashgacha of R’ Mordechai Gross shlita in EY. I bought the regular matzas from the same brand last year and they were great (after the oven trick of course). I believe that they went up $1 pound from last year ($11.50 to $12.50).
This year I splurged and bought some of the Badatz Eidah Hachareidis matza for $13/ pound. I can let you know after pesach how they were.
I did go shopping and yes you can get cheaper matzos. I bought for $13 a pound in brooklyn and I saw that Bingo had for $12.50 a pound. For those who need thin matzos they had those too for $20 a pound. Costco has skvere matzos for about $16.60 a pound. I checked out Monsey and they also had some reaosnably priced matzas with excellent hechsherim. They also had more expensive options, as Dr. E pointed out that the $30-40 per pound are for the “matza snobs” who insist on specific brands.
For those who have not tried the oven trick, it must be done right. Don’t put in a whole pound in one shot. only put in 1-2 matzos on each 9x 13 pan to be sure that the entire surface has exposure to the heat. set oven to 300 and take out after 5-6 minutes. Although it can take some time to freshen up a bunch, I gurantee they will taste better than the $40/pound matzos.
MB10- I think most in town kolleilm are expecting the wife is working to bring in at least one salary. Between that, government programs and the kollel check, you can live very comfortably if you spend on what you need. The kollel check is meant to be that last bit to help make ends meet, not to be full support.
It gets back to the question of which kollel years are we talking about? For the first 1-5 years this plan can work well. If you are talking about say years 5-10 that is a different parsha once things like tuition come into play.
If anyone has numbers to prove otherwise I would love to hear them.
I have not yet seen prices in regular supermarkets, but I did see them in Costco for $16-17 a pound. I am willing to bet that the other Israeli brand will be comparable prices. I agree with Dr. E. Rethink your matza habits and don’t go with brand x bec. that is what we used (and have overpaid) for generations.
Whatever you buy, stick it in the oven for 5 minutes on 300 and it will taste better than the $50/ pound stuff that was baked on chanuka. I am surprised how few people try this simple trick and just kvetch every year about the taste of their matza.
Square Root-What is with your obsession with Chananya Weissman? Is this a new form of trolling where you just post something written by someone else to get a rise in people?February 19, 2023 8:55 pm at 8:55 pm in reply to: An End to Shidduch Résumés by Rabbi Chananya Weissman #2167335
Avira : i don’t see your problem with his statement on “Daas Torah”
1. Many Bona fide gedolim have an issue with the freezer system and consider it against hashkafas HaTorah. He is arguing about the freezer system and its negative effect on the dating system.
2. The concept of daas Torah is highly abused today. Just because someone has an issue with the way some people misuse it does not mean that such person is “blasting Rabbanim”
You can say that perhaps he could have used a more dignified language. However it looks to me like he speaks from the heart.
For all those who are knocking R’ Chananya bec. he is willing to speak up against societal norms, try arguing with his points, not ad hominem attacks on a person.February 18, 2023 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm in reply to: An End to Shidduch Résumés by Rabbi Chananya Weissman #2167055
Avira-That is a pretty harsh accusation. Do you have a quote from any of his writings that demonstrate that he “blasts daas torah and listening to rabbonim”?February 7, 2023 4:37 pm at 4:37 pm in reply to: Brainstorming an Alternate Term for Boyfriend/Chassan and Girlfriend/Kallah #2163423
In yeshiva we would refer to an unnamed girl as “Shprinza”. You could say “my Shprinza told ,me…” and people may understand what you mean. I don’t think there is a boy equivalent that has the same pizazz as Shrprinza (Shemerel?)
AAQ- Although I do not know the inner workings of the big tzedka organizations, it would actually seem easier in today’s day and age to research to true needs of a family. I agree that the ideal would be to give to family that I know personably and can attest to their genuine need. However, I would guess that most donors are not in that position. This would be especially true if you live in a wealthy neighborhood and most of your circle of friends are of the same ilk.
It should not be too difficult in many (not all cases) for an organization to contact a reputable Rav who knows the personally the most destitute and needy cases. Unfortunately it seems to me that there is not a shortage of genuine cases of need for families who got a raw deal on life.
Gadol Hadorah: I agree that we are living in an age of unprecedented wealth. But it seems to me that even so there are plenty of causes that we are obligated to give to that are desperate for $. Not every mosad is flush with cash. Although there may be an inyan to buy a Tesla for a guy who had his repossessed, it would seem that this should be put on the lower list of priorities. True everyone has a right to give to whomever they prefer but it would nice if people with $ would also use seichel in where they give.
Before we all weigh in on what Rav Yehuda Jacobs zt”l meant, perhaps we should ask people who were close to him. He may have meant a range of things that most people would agree to.
For example: Don’t make promises (of support) for a shiddach if you can’t realistically afford it.
or: When making a plan for how you will make an income in life, it should include realistic likely life expenses such as children’s weddings. Don’t avoid working for a living with a plan of “we will figure it out”.
UJM. I agree that the strict halacha does call for us giving people what they are accustomed to. However, as a community, we also need to prioritize who gets precedence. If Reuven is a victim of tragic circumstance (yasom, ill parent, lost job etc) and is looking for basic necessities and Shimon is not (chooses to not work & wants to buy a home for his child), who should get preference?
It would seem that the most efficient way to handle tzdeka giving for hachnosas kallah would be to have a larger tzedka organization weed out the Reuvens from the Shimons with investigations as to who is who. If they both walk around shul with the same letter and say “hachnosas kallah” it is the Shimons making the Reuvens look bad
Common saychel: They make very simple weddings but how many of them buy an apartment for their children? How common is it in America for people to go collecting from the public to buy a house for their children? Just because “everyone does it” does not make it a necessity. It seems to me it would be the same as a Jew from Beverly Hills to raise money to buy a new Lexus because that is the norm in his area.
I don’t think that most of the people collecting for hachnosas kallah are collecting for the seudas mitzva. The biggest expense in Israel is what happens after the party. i.e. getting the couple set up with an apartment, furniture etc. That is a whole other discussion…..
@CTL: I agree and disagree with you. I agree that making a lavish wedding is a waste. It would also be nice if our children would share our values with which we try to raise them. However that is not always the case.
Consider a family in which the main breadwinner decided to go into chinuch instead of a more lucrative career. The intentions were noble and idealistic. Sometimes children grow up with the same idealistic values and appreciate the life choice that their parents made but sometimes they grow up resenting it wishing they could be like their wealthy peers. It is not enough to say to them “but that is not how we raised you!”.
This does not mean that we need to spoil our children so that they don’t feel underprivileged. However it is a tricky balance.
One more thing. I know it has been discussed before, but can we please cut out out the idea of “if you can’t afford it don’t do it”. It is nice in theory but nothing to do with reality. Social pressure is is real. Very real. Anyone who creates it can just say “hey it’s not my problem. I am just doing it bec. I have the $”. If you make a simcha for $100k it puts pressure on the little guy to make a simcha for $50k. Mke one for $250k it just raises the bar for everyone.
You trying telling your kid-I am sorry but these are our values and you will need to suffer for being different than everyone else. I am not saying this specifically for a diamond engagement ring, I say this for everything.
Gvirim should even lower the costs for selfish reasons if nothing else works. Do you really want your neighbor or relative to knock on your door asking for tzedka bec. they can’t afford to make a wedding?
I am all for reducing costs for simchas but this will be a real tough one to overcome. Girls dream about this from when they are young. There are more practical ways to cut costs that would add up to a much bigger savings than a diamond. For example
1. shave down the vort to a simple lcahim in the chason or kallahs house. No catered event
2. Limit number of guests for aufruf and shabbos sheva brachos. No need need for whole extended family, friends etc. Both of these have gotten out of hand
3. Cut out the ridiculous idea of kallah telling everybody what color they need to wear. No one beyond immediate family needs a gown
4. push the idea of simchas choson vekallah for everyone outside of family.
Just some ideas. Open to hear more
Our response in galus is to shut up. If a Jew (religious or not) asks what Judaism says about it then bring Torah sources to the best of your ability. If you don’t know any go to Aish.com or any reputable website that gives sources.
Apparently, Gadol Hadorah is the Levi Yitzchok Mebirdichtev of our generation. He knows that the true intention of wealthy Jews is to provide parnosa for their Jewish servants. Everything is done leshem shomayim! Mi ke’amcha Yisrael!
If someone would like to disagree with Chanaya Weissman the correct way to do it would be to quote his shitos and then give a cogent argument why they are incorrect. Just calling him a blockhead says a lot about you.
The answer to your questions is yes.
Now how do you propose to change it?
Give practical solutions, not a kvetch. We have heard many of those before.
Then after you give a practical solution, be part of the movement to actively make a difference.
It really depends on many factors.
B. ability to bring in an income
C. Is he learning in yeshiva and being productive? Is he working?
D. societal norms (chasidishe, litvishe, amish etc.)
E. How meddling will his parents be in the process and drag it out
It is almost like asking at what age a person should retire.
The high-end food and musicians is just a sign of the times. A lot of frum Jews have more money than they know what to do with. Nebach. As long as they don’t fool themselves into thinking that spending $ on this type of thing falls into the category of a mitzvah.
I would guess that most of the guys going to these things are not missing out on their regular sedarim if you know what I mean. From a positive angle, look at as guys looking for an outlet that has a bit of a more positive bend than what they would have been involved in 20 years ago. In the past, they would have been getting together for sports games and beer parties. Now they switched the MVP for a Rebbe. It may not demonstrate a genuine strive for ruchniyus but is better than the alternative.December 8, 2022 4:37 pm at 4:37 pm in reply to: The Haredim are the most voluntary sector in the State of Israel! #2146026
Also, try to keep in mind the perception of a chiloni. This study may give a little bit of a nicer spin on chareidim for them, but not much. If you are chiloni and don’t have an appreciation for the spiritual benefit of limud haTorah I can understand why they are resentful of the chareidi community. They may read this and say “Ok, I guess a significant minority do contribute to society, but 60% do not.”
I think we need more discussions on bringing the two sectors together.December 8, 2022 4:29 pm at 4:29 pm in reply to: The Haredim are the most voluntary sector in the State of Israel! #2146017
ToShma- What is your point and the point of the OP? I assume it was that we should be makir tov to those who are involved in the chesed done by Chareirim. I agree. I am adding that we should also be makir tov to those who lay down their lives in other forms of chesed.
If the point is that everything chareidim do is great and all chareidim are great because of the 40% who do chesed, and all other sectors are bad because they do less chesed….. I have a problem with that shita.December 7, 2022 10:55 pm at 10:55 pm in reply to: The Haredim are the most voluntary sector in the State of Israel! #2145827
Ok I agree that my analogy of gadol hametzuveh is not perfect. However, I still thunk it can be used somewhat to demonstrate the hakaras hatov we all need to feel towards those that are serving their fellow Jews, so much so that they put their lives on the line for them.
Those who serve in the army are still doing a mitzvah of Hashem by helping protect other Jews . This is true whether they volunteered for the army or are doing it to avoid going to jail. The reason why chareidim don’t is a mixture of many different reason;the army became a toxic environment for ruchnius, dangers of shmad in early days of Zionism, the greatest of learning Torah and the role it plays in spiritual protection etc.
The point of the OP was to say how great chreidim are for all the volunteer chesed they do for the community and we should be makir tov. We should have no less hakaras hatov to those who serve in the army even though it is compulsory. Don’t let stupid politics mess up our middos.