RuffRuff

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Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 172 total)
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  • in reply to: The Coffee Oscars! #992219

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Mr.80,

    That’s why it’s hard to tell, usually. However, in that Chana and seven sons thread you out did anyone. But whoever blocked my previous screen name, should win as the most vicious blocker.

    I would vote Popa as funniest, and mosherose as least controversial — there’s nothing to discuss.

    in reply to: Face to Face- Not in the CR #725820

    RuffRuff
    Member

    In real life I don’t mix into conversations.

    in reply to: Bein Adam Lachaveiro in the coffee room #725180

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Very well. And all that goes into the categories of Ono’as Devarim, Ve’ohavta Leraiacha, Rachmanim, Bayshanim and so on. I don’t think Malbin Panim comes in, and I’m not sure about Lashon Hara.

    It’s more than just simply being anonymous, it’s not you. We have an alias to be able to refer to the same opinion source. When someone mocks your opinions or your style, that can hurt, but you won’t be shamed, and definitely not damaged.

    in reply to: Should We Start Up With This Again? #725162

    RuffRuff
    Member

    If they had developmental problems beforehand, that doesn’t negate the whole study. It would narrow it down to those with developmental problems.

    I once heard an interview on NPR about this. The guest was mocking the whole idea, until the host interjected. He said, “I won’t let you get away with this one. My daughter became autistic shortly after having the vaccine.” He really stumped the interviewee, who wasn’t expecting anything like that from the, usually impartial, host.

    It seems to me that there might be a lot more “anecdotal” evidence that is being ignored by those who didn’t observe it, but is being circulated

    amongst friends.

    The bottom line is that everyone here has an ax to grind.

    in reply to: Double dating #725512

    RuffRuff
    Member

    What if it clicks the wrong way, or if both decide on one, is it a fight? Will you “give in” and take the second choice, compromising the marriage from the beginning?

    in reply to: Visiting Kevarim in Israel #725036

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Ask a Bocher that learned in Eretz Yisrael. Odds are he was at any given place you’d be interested in going.

    in reply to: Bein Adam Lachaveiro in the coffee room #725174

    RuffRuff
    Member

    That’s true. Being an anonymous speaker doesn’t change anything.

    in reply to: Bein Adam Lachaveiro in the coffee room #725168

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Eclipse,

    You are describing Ono’as Devarim, where words can make someone upset. You can’t really shame someone in the CR. As for Lashon Hara, if you don’t know anyone in real life, what will you be able to reveal about them? If you do know them in real life then my question doesn’t apply, for someone else here might know them, too. What does still apply is creating a negative attitude about someone. The Chafetz Chaim considers that a branch of Lashon Hara.

    On the one hand, you aren’t attacking a real person, only a changeable alias. On the other hand, you are speaking bad about someone. In other words, if the problem is only the damage that it causes to someone else, it might be Muttar but if we care about what you are doing to yourself by becoming a Messaper Lashon Hara, then it is more reasonable to consider it Assur.

    in reply to: Correcting a misconception about parnassah #750476

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Or, more simply, just because you know that Hashem wrote you some money, that doesn’t tell you how much.

    in reply to: Top 5 websites? #726949

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Yeshivaworld

    Google

    The site that I’m working on

    Not the other news site

    in reply to: Best Modern invention/discovery by a Jew?? #725707

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Clever,

    Which Jew made the atom bomb, are you refering to Niels Bohr?

    in reply to: Best Modern invention/discovery by a Jew?? #725703

    RuffRuff
    Member

    The Chanuka set. How did our grandparents manage without the timer?

    in reply to: A real test for me:Your suggestions? #724265

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Shlomo Zalman,

    I think you’re a bit biased about that. I heard it about Reb Wozner’s mother.

    in reply to: My Voice Will Not Be Heard Any More… #724231

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Wolf,

    It doesn’t seem that there is any disagreement here other than which half of the glass to discuss.

    in reply to: Reading "Fairy Tale" books to our children! #1088591

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Wolf,

    That’s a very good approach, and original, too. In some books, the message is embedded. I once had a book about sharing that had wierd Hashkafa in it. My kids were too small to read on their own, so we were able to make up our own story line and use the pictures for our own version.

    in reply to: Sister's husband keeps her away from family #723968

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Whichever advice you are going to follow, do anything else before bringing it up openly, whether in a letter or plainly. Discussions like these can have long lasting ramifications.

    Do you ever see active resistance to coming over, or do you just notice that they don’t initiate any get togethers. If the latter is the case, there is a lot you can do and initiate. But keep an eye out for their inner reaction. Never turn yourself into a pest or a tail.

    So, it narrows down to, whether him or her, a disassociation with your family, without actively making you an exception. It can be him only, being that he doesn’t feel a connection. Although, you might ask, isn’t that the chicken before the egg? It may be, either him or her feeling a disconnect, being that you mothered her. A sister is never a mother, she is a big sister. The first step in getting ahead is to rise above or away from the biggers than you. It’s hard to know what it is, but for the last choice, you can search within yourself and ask yourself if it is possible that she would feel that way about you.

    in reply to: My Voice Will Not Be Heard Any More… #724215

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Obviously, Wolf is also refering to others parts of Davening. He was using Shmone Esrei as a booster for quiet Teffilla.

    A person should bear in mind his surroundings. If people finished a piece and are waiting to hear the Baal Teffilla, you have to tone down. I think it is inconsiderate to Daven loudly very close to someone when you are a whole different part. However, don’t write off Davening loud, just be considerate.

    in reply to: Change of Pronunciation #798157

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Although we are at a disadvantage of being so long after the fact, and we cannot know the original pronunciation, there are many clues as to which one of the choices are correct. We know that the Ayin is supposed to be sounded along with the throat, the way the Taimanim do it. We know that there are five groups of letters, each group is sounded by a different area in the mouth. The Reish is grouped together with ZSShRTz, which means that it wasn’t pronounced the Israeli way. Also, Samach is together with Z and the whole group mention above, while Tav and Sav are listed together DTLNT. I think that the Taimanim pronounce it as “th”, which would concur with the rest of the group.

    In any case, this discussion doesn’t have anything to do with who has the right way.

    SJS, Your conversations can be in any dialect you wish. The issue is about Davening.

    in reply to: Sister's husband keeps her away from family #723962

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Are you saying you know that it comes from your brother-in-law because of the fact that they spend time with his family? That wouldn’t mean that he is deliberately pulling strings. Your sister might share his attitude. She might be trying (perhaps subconsciously) to get more and more swallowed into what she would call a typical family. When she feels more secure as a normal person, then she might finally be more comfortable coming around again. It may be him with a similar attitude. Do you try to arrange get togethers?

    in reply to: Change of Pronunciation #798143

    RuffRuff
    Member

    But never for fun. It took many years of being between certain nations to eventualy and slowly pick up their phonetics.

    in reply to: Change of Pronunciation #798139

    RuffRuff
    Member

    SJS,

    It has absolutely nothing to do with being Chasidish. It has everything to do with where they came from. That’s what prompted the OQ. These people are Ashkenazim, so why the new Havara?

    in reply to: Should a Yid own a Dog? Woof Woof! #1168829

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Yochie, we’ll discuss it on Shabbos, when you come over with your dog.

    in reply to: Reading "Fairy Tale" books to our children! #1088577

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Tam Mahu Omer,

    Are you sure about that?

    in reply to: How to write an easily readable post. #725652

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Popa,

    Do you

    mean

    something,

    like?

    this;

    in reply to: Riddle #723437

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Sam,

    Your East and West Shtickle doesn’t really come in, and neither does the river example. If you lie down or you turn around the paper to read it up down, it won’t reverse to be read upward.

    What you lead up to is the actual answer, though. In short, you are looking at a front view from the back. I wrote another example earlier, but the mods deleted it. I guess they found it offensive, somehow. Yeah, it’s hard to tell…

    in reply to: Falling in Love- a Jewish Concept? #724598

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Look at Rashi in the Pasuk of Vehayu Lebassar Echad.

    in reply to: Reading "Fairy Tale" books to our children! #1088558

    RuffRuff
    Member

    People do it, and it’s fun. Obviously, like everything else, it has an affect. On the one hand, they often broaden the imagination. On the other hand, an overdose causes them not to believe any stories of Gedolim, either.

    in reply to: A real test for me:Your suggestions? #724247

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Just a practical idea:

    You can find out what time of the day the direct neighbors aren’t home.

    Are you sure your voice is heard over the piano?

    in reply to: Falling in Love- a Jewish Concept? #724585

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Now, after all that, we all agree that there has to be a “clicking” beforehand. You don’t just take the next one on line. So, let’s rephrase the OQ. Is there such a thing as instant “clicking”? To which, I’d say, why not?

    in reply to: The Liberals' True Face #768576

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Dave,

    You mention Ma’aser Kesafim which is a Minhag, definitely not a De’oraisa. However, I think Charlie is refering to other Halachos, namely the Tamchuy that every town had to set up to feed the poor.

    I would agree with you that things are being done irresponsibly, but why call it redistributing wealth? It is simply a tax, which a government is entitled to collect for its purposes, one of which is to feed the poor. I really do hear in your words Limbaugh’s voice. I think you are getting caught up with his arguments.

    in reply to: Falling in Love- a Jewish Concept? #724583

    RuffRuff
    Member

    There’s something between sensation and pursuit. How’s about, it gave them no pleasure. It just didn’t mean anything to them.

    in reply to: Yiddish #723836

    RuffRuff
    Member

    I heard that the Rambam’s Arabic Seforim were actually written in a Judao-Arabic language.

    Popa, that was genuinely very funny. I actually LedOL.

    in reply to: Sister's husband keeps her away from family #723958

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Very wise of you not to tell her your feelings. If indeed it is her husband that is doing this, why put a wedge between them?

    Perhaps, like others have said, she wants to identify with her new more wholesome family. Also, perhaps your brother-in-law put your whole family into one category, in his mind, and never thought of treating you differently. If the latter is the case then, like Aries said, work on the relationship of you and your husband towards your brother-in-law.

    Please don’t just show up on her doorstep. The fastest way to destroy a relationship is to discuss it. You certainly don’t want to tail her, but you can use subtle remarks about how you wish you can meet more often.

    As 565656 said, (perhaps it’s your sister) someone that received a lot of help may feel the need to back off. She might feel that you are mothering her. It would be an artfull task, but if you can, you should, by subtle statements, bring out the levelness and equality of the two of you. Try not to give advice, ask her opinion on many things, make small talk, and make sure you are not in any way imposing a view (like I am doing now).

    in reply to: Should a Yid own a Dog? Woof Woof! #1168822

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Are you confusing the dog with Cham?

    in reply to: My Voice Will Not Be Heard Any More… #724195

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Make sure you sing on tune, too.

    in reply to: Falling in Love- a Jewish Concept? #724578

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Popa, I know of plenty great Tzaddikim, not exactly on the level of Yitzchock who didn’t derive pleasure from the taste of food. You are right in that he wanted to exite himself to the degree that a Bracha should spill forth from his soul.

    in reply to: Should a Yid own a Dog? Woof Woof! #1168814

    RuffRuff
    Member

    That’s how many packs of sheep. One dog per pack, or two, one in front and one in back.

    in reply to: Should a Yid own a Dog? Woof Woof! #1168812

    RuffRuff
    Member

    If you’re talking about owning dogs for reasons other than partnership, well then, the Medrash says that Yaakov Avinu had 600,000 dogs or double that amount, to herd his sheep.

    in reply to: Kol Isha #723334

    RuffRuff
    Member

    The Gemara says, “another way”. The Gemara doesn’t differentiate between going to learn Torah or going to the zoo. The idea is not that if you don’t have any choice then we’ll just have to let you go there. If that were the case, we would say, are you sure that you have to go in the first place. The main problem is that you could have gone another way, and you chose this one.

    in reply to: Kol Isha #723332

    RuffRuff
    Member

    If it is cheaper in this place, that is still called Leka Darka Achrina. Remember, it doesn’t have to be Oness. The point is that you are there, and you know you there, for a purpose.

    If indeed, there is another choice, just as good, then this Hetter wouldn’t apply. However, instinctively I think that a Rov would be Mattir based on everything else brought up here by others and myself.

    in reply to: The Liberals' True Face #768568

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Popa, I’m glad to see you back. I’m not sure what practical difference you had in mind. I do however see that they confuse and overuse the term “right” and use it to mean entitled. It doesn’t make sense to say everyone has a right to a house or medical care. Just be honest and say that you want to give it to them. If that would be the stated drive, it would be done in moderation, and those fringe leftists wouldn’t be cooking up an anger toward successful people, saying that they stole from the poor.

    I do believe that a government may not allow its people to die from starvation or sickness. It is ridiculous to say that a country should depend on the kind hearted to take care of the needy, and just focus on prosperity and terrorism.

    The fact is that barely anyone actually evaluates the situation. If you set up a debate between a Republican and a Democrat, you can write out the arguments before they start the debate. I see the same thing here in the Coffee Room. Why can’t you seriously think about every issue from scratch, and leave the pundits out of your mind in the meanwhile.

    It does seem to me that the Democrats are spend oriented, and the Republicans are hung up on not spending. You hardly hear of either side saying, without being pressed to the wall, that in this case we wholeheartedly agree with you guys on the other side.

    While I don’t give much thought to there money arguments, my main issue with the ever bending left, is their anti moral stance, and their unrealistic loving thy enemy.

    in reply to: Kol Isha #723328

    RuffRuff
    Member

    As for your first question, the Gemara says that if you had another way to go and you chose to travel that way, you are a Rasha. Obviously, we are talking about what is Assur to see.

    And, to your second point, if you have to go there, then it would apply there, too. If, however, you had other places or options and you chose this one, that would be the Issur that the Gemara was talking about.

    You differentiate between a view on the side and an inevitable sound. The distinction is true, but we don’t find such an Issur. Keep in mind that the original Din of Kol Isha is found by Brachos and Krias Shma. The point of having another way is that you specificaly chose this way, and you are conscious about the fact that you went down such a road. If you had no other way, than the problem doesn’t exist, it is not an Oness. The Gemara does not say that you have to be going there for a very important reason. The main issue is the fact that you know that you chose to go purposely that way.

    I was only trying to differentiate beween your magnanimous example of a terribly inappropriately dressed someone, there to catch your attention. To that I responded that it doesn’t compare to the classic Hetter of Leka Darka Achrina, being that it is an aggressive, rather than passive, Erva.

    This is all in pure Svara. In actual Psak, a Rov would most likely be Metzaref the fact that it is only a recording and you don’t know the person and it is usually low enough that if you’re not paying attention to it you won’t even notice it.

    in reply to: Kol Isha #723326

    RuffRuff
    Member

    What if someone is running around with their hair (gasp) uncovered? Did you ever consider leaving? Good. You didn’t have to. The Gemara specifically says that if there isn’t another route, you can pass by the spot where women are washing their laundry, although they roll up their sleeves in the process. In fact, how do you know that you cannot pass by if the scene is worse than that, when there is no other way? The only answer is that you know yourself that it would be unavoidable for you to pay attention to the bizarre scene, whereas in the first case you don’t have to pay attention, and when you are not going there for fun you aren’t entertaining the concept in your mind.

    in reply to: Should a Yid own a Dog? Woof Woof! #1168783

    RuffRuff
    Member

    You don’t owe money to Tzeddaka, and you don’t empty your coffers to Tzeddaka. It is always simply the cheapest and quickest way to criticize. People even use this silly argument to criticize someone for donating a nice Aron Hakodesh, that they could have given the money to poor people.

    in reply to: Pets & Halacha #1152808

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Mr. 80,

    In that case, they would have had the animal regardless. So he is obviously talking about getting an animal even for no technical usage, just for the purpose of feeding it. Once that is the case, he could be talking about a dog, cat, goat, raccoon or baboon.

    in reply to: Pets & Halacha #1152801

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Actually, a grandson of the Rosh writes in his Sefer that it is a Minhag Chasidim to have a pet so that one can be Mekayem the Mitzva of feeding your animals before yourself. I think CharlieHall alluded to this concept, earlier.

    One thing to keep in mind, is what the Gemara says, not to have a dog that scares people.

    in reply to: Kol Isha #723307

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Just to clear one point: The main difference between live singing and a recording is the fact that you don’t know the person and don’t see them. According to the Gemara in Sota that says that there is no Taava to anyone not alive, perhaps a bigger Hetter would be to listen to old recordings.

    in reply to: Pets & Halacha #1152786

    RuffRuff
    Member

    TMB, no problem or no pet?

    in reply to: Pets & Halacha #1152785

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Mike,

    Are you sure about the stroking part? The Gemara says that Rabba slid his child on the sides of his donkey, for play. He explained that as long as he’s not sitting on it, the prohibition of using an animal on Shabbos doesn’t apply. Obviously it wasn’t a problem of Muktza, either. The only thing is that in that case, you are not actually moving any part of the animal, while by stroking you are picking up and moving its hair.

    in reply to: Pets & Halacha #1152783

    RuffRuff
    Member

    Blueberrymuffin,

    Did the donkey of Rabbi Pinchos ben Ya’ir scratch itself on Shabbos? Is it Muktza to itself, too? On the one hand, I would say that not, but on the other hand, I don’t think the Chachamim made a special exception for donkeys. I must know the answer.

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