Forum Replies Created
mw13 – that belongs in the joke thread.
mdd – so an unmarried woman cant have any hirhurim?
I recently visited LA and abesolutely fell in love with it! The community is huge! They have TONS of restaurants and plents of supermarkets. I have a cousin in Kollel there and from what I understand they have a great BY. I cant give advice on moving a family, but I’d move there in a heartbeat.
SRP – LOL! Halitosis! Definitely, because hygiene is just above and beyond in Israel.
mw13 – LOL, ok well these women seem to be taking issue with what you are saying at this point in time.
I actually like the idea of paying the shadchan for the date.
I am just confused, why would they get $$$ for each additional date? It’s you who is the dater doing the hard work now. Am I missing something? Yes, I know they call and say do you want to go out again but thats really not a hard job, its a bigger pain to convince them to go out in the first place.
Moq – thank you for youe post!
A while back there was a thread about shaking hands with men, I was having a hard time understanding how that could be Giloy Arayos so I asked my father, and he said it would fall under Lo Sikrevu.
If hirhur is an issur I would think that by the same logic watching a movie would fall under Lo Sikrevu.
I’m going to play mediator here.
I think maybe the reason most of the females where upset is because all they really wanted was tips for keeping on makeup for a 3 day Y”T. That being said maybe it wasnt the right place for you (mw13) to come in and quote that particular Gemara, as interesting as it was.
Filters people, filters.
WIY – what a sad story!
Thing is with RAP/Hip Hop, you hear the garbage lyrics, where every other word is a curse, talking about blowing peoples heads off, raping woman, and robbing banks. The general tone is aggressive.
I’m not validating (ok, maybe a little) what I do, but I think the its the tone/lyrics/attitude of the song more than the neshama of the person.
mdd – dont worry I’m not that far gone that actual giloy arayos is a problem 😉 PY – had mentioned that I could possibly be over on hirhur arayos which I can see how that is possible I mean its right in front of you, this is my main concern.
Thank you for so clearly portraying why we have a shidduch “crisis”.
You do what is good for you, not what is perceived as right by society.
pascha – Why should you be embarrassed to say that? You want a guy who has a stable job, its called reality. You cant live life on a hope and a prayer (altho it’d be nice if we all could)
I say I am looking for a professional. Nothing in life is guaranteed and a “professional” can lose his job just as fast as the next guy but at least he has plans for himself.
mdd – I’m a little confused here. Are we saying that hirhur is an aveira only for people she is erva to? (which if you are single thats everyone) Or are we undecided on hirhur?
oomis – not everyone acts like dogs, what movies are you watching? 😛
“Think about it, one song can make you happy, the next make you sad, another one relaxes you…”
That happens when I listen to Jewish Music as well, I think thats more tempo, than their neshama…
I agree that movies are a waste of time, but when I have nothing to do for 2.5 hours thats kinda what I want to do 😉
mdd – Who is erva for a woman, her brother, father…? I am not a pervert! LOL.
Mamash – Hmmm, I didnt realize that that was one of the questions Hash-m asks….
Someone – “Immaturity in leaving family and familiarity behind.”
I would not call that Immaturity. I’d call that valid.
I think its great to live on a hope and a prayer but bottom line is you need to do your hishtadlus (aka Job) and there is a severe lack of those in Israel. I’d say that is the primary reason.
PY – Is hirhur arayos an issur or is it one of those not-such-nice- things-that-you-should-refrain-from?
WIY – Thanks for the words of encouragement! To get a little personal, while I was in HS (Rocker yes, I went to a BY) I became super frum/yeshivish, and gave up everything movies/music/books even while “Yeshivish” it was always a struggle not to watch a movie, what can I say I’m a fan. The music wasnt as big a struggle but once I got out in the real world, and have been out of school for X amount of years inspiration kind of wears off.
Hakatan – “lo sikrivu ligalos erva” This actually makes more sense to me than actual Giluy Arayos. In HS we had a teacher that said that the persons Neshama goes into their music and when you hear it you are effected, in HS I guess I was less jaded and more accepting, I dont really see how that can happen…
emoticon – LOL, yea prob not what I wanted to hear. But it kind of sounds what my father would say. When I was in college we had a case that tied in to Organized Crime and I got on a whole Mafia kick. My father wasnt to pleased that I was bringing home books that he says I was being over on “Giloy Arayos, Shvichas Damim & Avodah Zara in one sitting” I have the best father! 😀
Personally, I dont think a bolt of lightening is going to strike you if you watch the occasional movie (who am I kidding its more than on occasion 😉 ) My bigger problem is that I think the movies are affecting my haskafos, and thats why I think I’m more motivated to stop, or try to.
Popa – Well hopefully he would feel that he is getting a “good deal” out of the marruage as well. You should always feel like you married up.
World Saver – so what your saying is that there is no reason for me as woman to get married, rather its for my (future) husband. And the fact that I happen to be the one he gets married to well, thats collaterl damage. I disagree.
You see that one of the Mitzvos of a woman are Niddah, I highly doubt this special mitzvah would be given to woman if they were just the “victims” of men having to get married.
I’m going to apologize for being condescending from the get go.
Yea that seems like a good idea. Let me marry someone who annoys the heck outta me, who has horrid middos, so that I can improve my own. Sounds like a fantastic plan bound for many years of happy marriage.
If you marry someone with BETTER middos than yourself, you can still improve yours and have a harmonious marriage and a pleasant life.
Popa – Are you then planning on keeping that conversation Rated G?
Really? do you think there are more Blacks or Woman in America?
Its fime with me tho, I didnt want either of them. Besides, I still have a shot of being the first female President 😉
Oh, and my Co-Workers aren’t sexist, they are awesome, especially since I am the only female at the firm.
My friend was once at a closing and the other attorney said to her “They sent the Secretary?” so she says “No, I’m the Attorney.” So he says, “You passed the Bar?!”
Popa – what would you like to hear?
I dont take issue with you calling her a witch.
The fact that she is brilliant is indesputable.
And she was very qualified.
Or maybe we should compare her to our current President. Got into College because of Affirmitive Action. “But he was the Harvard Law Review Editor” he never wrote a single article. He had no credentials.
Not a feeling.
We elected an extremely underqualified Afro-American before a brilliant extremely qualified woman.
Popa – What would you say is the reason for getting married?
To have kids – Middos isnt a priority so you will have rotten spoiled brats.
To have a life partner/bestfriend – Without Middos? Some partner…
Um, those are the two I can think of…
New2 – I’ll consider your offer 😉 And good luck, my Father (may he be gebenched) is not a college attendee, and he is B”H the Managing Partner of a successful company, so it can be done, it didnt happen overnight, so keep at it. Much Hatzloch!
Ulisis – Many? as in 2-5, or 49% of all of them in the U.S.? Please clarify your statement.
Nowadays, unfortunately for a lot of Law School graduates only the top 2% from Ivy League colleges are being hired.
To have kids that will continue doing Hash-ms will.
lkwdfellow – on the money!
Then again unless thats what she’s looking for…
“In what way do people imply women “are the lesser sex”? I’m not denying they do, seeing as I’m not in chinuch and I have no way of knowing”
Did you think I was in chinuch? L-rd have mercy on the children!
I’m not. I’m in the heavily male popolated profession known as Law.
I have a parent in Chinuch.October 6, 2010 12:21 am at 12:21 am in reply to: What does this mean, its a quote from the Kotzker. #699352
We had a teacher in HS who was the granddaughter of R’ A. Miller ztz”l and she had tied a current events issue into her lesson. So a girl in class said she didnt know about that because she doesnt follow the news (yes, super greasy BY) so my teacher said “It doesnt make you frum to have your head buried in the sand, you have to know whats going on.”
IDK, this kind of reminded me of that.
mw13 – oh dont get me wrong, I am the biggest anti-feminist/sexist around I just dont particularly enjoy being blamed for the worlds ills 😉
But come on, when was the last time there was an asifa lambasting men for coming late/talking in shul or bittul torah/zman or going places they shouldnt. Um, rarely. If ever.
Each time something happens its TZNIUS TZNIUS TZNIUS. Which is fine, a little annoying though. And thats prob why most girls just tune it out.
Personally I think this looks plus money issue should be in the what are BOYS looking for thread. From all the girls I know in shidduchim (a lot) not one of them says they want a good looking guy, and a couple of them prefer a guy that is not too good looking because yes, most good looking guys know it and are full of themselves.
Squeak – All graduates are having trouble finding jobs now, with little job creation coupled with job cuts we have a BIG problem. However, I dont think you can say that an MBAs value is questionable. Any and every degree you get makes you more valuable which puts you ahead. There are literally hundreds if not thousands of Lawyers out of jobs, the legal field got hit very hard (its only with great hashgacha that I not only have a job but actually just recently FOUND one) are going to now say a Law Degree has questionable value? We are in a bad economy, G-d willing it will pick up, and when it does those with degrees will not be sorry they have them.
New2 – Its nice to hear you are so full of ambition but unless Hash-m has pre-determined for you to become the next Reichman, I think its best to go about this in the most “natural” way.October 5, 2010 8:59 pm at 8:59 pm in reply to: What does this mean, its a quote from the Kotzker. #699348
WIY – Oh I like yours!
“I’m very business minded, and can see myself running a company, with my leadership skills and sharp business mind. I still cant see myself doing an MBA program”
I’m really not sure what company would hire you to run their company without an MBA. With todays Job Market so tight you really need any advantage you can get.
Than again, you can start your own company.October 5, 2010 7:58 pm at 7:58 pm in reply to: What does this mean, its a quote from the Kotzker. #699340
What was your take on it?
Hi, I’m a girl so I dont have a BTL. However, I know that a lot of guys who go to Law School use a BTL. In order to get accepted to Law School you need a BA and you need to pass the LSATs (obviously the better the mark the better the Law School) the BA really doesnt matter (you can even have a BA from one of those 1 year fly by night programs)The main focus is the scores on the LSATs, so if you are considering Law BTL is more than perfect.October 5, 2010 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm in reply to: What does this mean, its a quote from the Kotzker. #699338
I think it means when there is an issue you should take a side and have an opinion. There is no great chochma to say that you are neutral and not taking sides, any donkey can do that.
needideas- How can you be wrong? What you are saying is common sense. Unfortunately sense isnt so common.
A little nasal too…
It’s all wonderful what guys are ACTUALLY looking for.
What Popa posted are the ones who get the dates.
Yoish – I actually thought your name was hilarious. Every time I read it I do so with a chassidish accent.
I think there are more single girls on the boards than guys but, I would love to see this.
Midwest-Yidd – I agree with you and disagree with you.
Lets start with the positive 🙂
I think that the “shidduch system” needs a MAJOR overhaul. I dont want to elaborate because this is not what this thread is about, and I think that our current system is extremely flawed.
For the disagreement. I think you can definitely tell on a first date if someone has rotten middos. If someone stinks you can smell them a mile a way. Yes, sometimes they manage to behave themselves for a date or two but if they have never worked on themselves their ruse wont last long.
Moq – Whew! I’m glad you said it and not me. I think I would’ve been yelled at for being shallow and high maintenance.
Pascha – My pleasure!
oomis/mw13/whoever – I actually do remember that when that whole “sheitel scandal” happened with the Indian hair, it was right before the Torah U’mesorah Convention and since I have a parent in Chinuch, I heard that the majority of the speeches where about how this is happening due to the lack of tznius on the part of woman…. It happens to be whenever a tzara befalls Klal Yisroel IT IS blamed on women. Normally I dont have a problem with it, I have long accepted that we are the lesser sex (believe me in my profession, I hear it non-stop) just dont deny it when it is brought to ahead.
Kapusta – Maybe we went to the same Shadchan…. He said that the top 3 things on your list should be Middos, Middos & Middos.
I dont think vanity has to do with maturity, I have a lot of friends who are “older singles” who are extremely mature they are just a little…. vain.
As for me: (1,2 & 3 Middos 😉 ) Someone who is sincere about their Frumkeit. Someone who is positive, up-beat (sense of humor never killed anyone) Woldly, has short term & long term goals.
There is a hard candy called Cold Eeze, at the on set of a cold you suck on them throughout the day and its supposed to minimize the severity of the cold.
Pascha – Its funny that you mentioned the one for sensitive skin. The Model In A Bodel comes in a feew formulas, I bought for sensitive skin just because I always feel if you have that option it is always the best, but that is the one I typed it off of.
Only for you Pascha –
SD Alchahol 40B, Purified Water, Butylene Glycol, Methyl Perfluorobutyl Etllyl, Acrylates/Outacrylamide, Copolymer, Lavandula Angustifollia Lavender Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Gel (Aloe Vera) Biosaccheride Gum-1, Polysorbate 20, Propylapaarben, Methylaparaben.
Personally, I think the purified water makes all the difference 😉
mw13 – now that your playing nice no need for any other games 😉
mw13 – clearly Tikkun Hamiddos isn’t one of them.
Two can play this game.