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  • in reply to: Women Driving #1161867

    i think it shouldn’t be allowed at all, I mean how many women do you know that actually can drive?

    and if we ban them, we can say for sure that men are the better and safer drivers

    in reply to: Continuous storyólet's see how far we get! #952429

    and has he slowly woke up, washed nadel vasser and got dressed,Chaim thought to himself, was it all a dream? Or is there some element of navoa to all this?

    in reply to: Number of Participants in the Coffee Room #921848

    Me

    I read more than I post, but having been posting more lately.

    What number am I 117? 118?

    And isn’t an issur d’oriassa to count CR participants?

    in reply to: How to say no to a date #882437

    I had the same situation once. I had been made to promise two dates and so I did. The first date was dire. I just couldn’t face another couple of hours with this girl, not so good looking and really boring personality. I felt a little mis-sold. There was absouletly no way I would ever marry her, even though she was a nice person.

    The shadchan put a lot of pressure for the second date, I said no no no and eventually when I had run out of excuses I said I just don’t find her attractive he relented. I am sure from what he said he had an eye on the shadduchnus gelt. Oh well!

    in reply to: Kashrus in Nahariyah #881758

    i don’t know about the kashrus but go and see Rebbe David Aabuchatzeira shlita, if you don’t your time in Nahariya is wasted, though you do have to push him for answers

    in reply to: Frum Jews and animals: why can't they get along together? #1014814

    The problem seems fairly clear to me, no dogs = no comptetion as to who is having the leftover chulent for supper.

    in reply to: products of germany??? #867240

    when i was a kid veryone g-d fearing jew in london would never drive a german car, only volvo this was halacha moshe m’sinai. now everyone drives anything particulary japanese cars even though they were with the nazi’s against the allies during ww2. althougb everyone has german washers and fridges e.t.c

    germany paid millions in repatriations to israel during the 50’s which obviously built a lot of the infastructure in israel.

    recently i wanted to go to germany for a trip, but didnt because my mother doesnt allow it and says her mother would turn in her grave if i ever went to germany and so i didn`t go. despite the fact my grandmother’s parents were from russia and she was born in london, and never even went to germany.

    sof ma’aseh it’s a mixed bag and depends who you ask

    in reply to: What Non-Toradik activies are acceptable? #867716

    ItcheSrulik: My Rosh Yeshiva used to play football (soccer for you yanks) with the Amshinover Rebbe when they were kids. Whilst neither play nowdays my Rosh Yeshiva encourages the guys to play whatever sports they enjoy, it is important to exercise and take a break.

    in reply to: More shidduch advice #907965

    Also any advice on how to deal with those akward silent moments, when you change conversation topic. I’m sure you all know what I mean

    in reply to: Selichos….ooooh NOOO #896436

    if anyone needs a boost to help wakr up in the morning you can try this very yeshivish trock my friend does.

    before he goes to bed at night he makes a thermos flask of coffee and leaves it by his bed for th morning with a straw, the first he does when he is sitting in bed is drink the coffee, he says he is then able to fly out of bed, and his wife has got used to it!!!

    in reply to: Depressed-I need help! #749299

    just refreshing this thread

    paradoxescliches – are you there.

    Given that this the coffee room is anonymous, maybe you could post your advice for me on this thread?

    Or Mods if your reading this please put us in contact.

    in reply to: talking about personal things aloud on cell phone in public #749420

    when i’m on the phone in public e.g the train, if i am speaking about something personal i do so in hebrew if the person i’m speaking to also speaks hebrew

    in reply to: car trunks. what do you keep in there? #749651

    jump leads (why doesn’t everyone have these), de-icer, a bit of food and some plastic bags

    in reply to: Depressed-I need help! #749286

    paradoxescliches – are you there.

    Given that this the coffee room is anonymous, maybe you could post your advice for me on this thread?

    Or Mods if your reading this please put us in contact.

    in reply to: collecting vort #942585

    Tell them the yeshiva sent you because it will cause the least bitul torah, because your a bum at learning and therefore have nothing to say. If they want a vort, invite them to go visit your yeshiva’s beis hamedrash during seder

    in reply to: Depressed-I need help! #749282

    Aries

    Thanks for your thoughts. I do genuinely appreciate yours and everyone elses comments, even if it doesnt always sound like it. I just am writing what I feel/think obout each particular point. I may be wrong about certain things, and writing up opnions in the coffee room gives me the opportunity to hear what others think about that pint/idea/topic.

    Your last line about things not being unmoveable is certainly a line that offers chizuk, so thank you.

    in reply to: Being makpid on looks #1210017

    Obviously has the Gemara in Kiddushin says you need to be physically attracted to yor wife.

    But has a wise person once said to me you dont want to mary someone who looks like a supermodel because do you really what every guy walking down the street to LOOK at YOUR wife?

    in reply to: where in the world? #746129

    hanging out with waldo

    in reply to: Socks. #746336

    there is nothing wrong with wearing a ‘holy’ sock. has long has it is not too cold outside

    in reply to: Depressed-I need help! #749278

    Thanks for all your thoughts on my initial posting.

    For those who say life is great, how can you be depressed e.t.c you no offence but you have obviously never been affected by depression, or not what I suffer from at least.

    Whatrutalkingabt –

    I do have a Rebbe but often feel embarrassed talking too much about my problems to him, because I feel so bad about them. Also talking over the phone is not the same has in person, which is the only possibility.

    Lightitup –

    Bpt-

    I do believe in myself and abilities that is not the issue for me, it is more an issue of making use of them to accomplish my aims and goals.

    Aries –

    ditto re bpt. Also see above. It is not about a race to the chupah for me, if that was true I would have been off the blocks a long time ago. Has I put in my original post I have many reasons that I want to get married and these are all legitimate reasons, it is just certain things are holding me back from fulfilling this desire to get married.

    Parasoxescliches –

    if you can help me please do so. That would be amazing. Mods please see if you can arrange for a swap of contact info between us. Thanks.

    Observanteen –

    your second post is spot on, how we feel is not always within our power of choice and it vital that people understand this rather than writing things like just smile. If only life was so simple

    in reply to: How many mishloach monos do you send? #747067

    m th point is very basic economics. if you have e.g $10 and you spend $5 on shloach manos and then you can only spend $5 on matnos levyonim. If you only spend $2 on shloach manos then you can spend $8 on matnos evyonim. It is called opportunity cost.

    The point is spend a smalller amount on doing enough to fufil shloach manos and then you will have more matnos evyonim, and in almost all cases those recieving the matnos evyonim will need and appreciate the $ spent on them more than thos who recieve the ‘extra’ shloach manos.

    The $10 can be $1000 or $1 mil, th point is the same. Shloach manos can be fufilled for a few $, then more can be given to those who need it.

    in reply to: How many mishloach monos do you send? #747054

    brsker that is entirely m point. for your real friends it is a chance to show some hakoros hatov to them. If they are not your real friends then why bother, and if they are not your cloest friends and get offended that you didnt send them, then why would you want to be friends with someone like that?

    in reply to: How many mishloach monos do you send? #747051

    If chazal wanted us to give so many mishloach manos then they why would they not decree that we give so many. Be yotze the mitzvah and then some, not too much.

    If you still feel a need to spend loads more money use it for extra matanos l’evyonim. We all know that in all our communitites there are people who struggle to feed their kids, and if you cant find them use your money to support the poor and hungry in eretz yisroel rather than to keep your friends kids dentist in business.

    in reply to: Dating topics #746503

    Girls do you have any more suggestions of what to talk about on first few dates?

    Also how long do people think that dates should last, should they get longer, the longer you are going out for?

    in reply to: The Pun Thread #1098842

    what do you call a guy who sells shoes all by himself? A sole trader

    in reply to: Playing Monopoly On Shabbos #745061

    Many people seem to like doing thing like playing board games on shabbos. Whilst I can understand that this is relaxing and a way to sit with family and or friends over shabbos, it is really not what shabbos is for. However frum you are or are not, if you are shomer shabbos you should appreciate shabbos for its kedusha and spend time on shabbos doing things that will helpn you with your avodas hashem. This may mean learning, reading an inspiring book, or davening e,t,c. Also talking without some non-shabbosdik board game to your family.

    in reply to: Depressed-I need help! #749249

    I am also depressed. I had a hard family life as a teenager and am now still struggling many years later. I dont feel like I make any progress in life and am just living for the sake of it with no real purpose. I am hugely capable and get frustrated that I dont use my abilities (I am very clever and capable of doing pretty much anything if I want to and put my mind to it) to accomplish anything this makes me even more depressed. I am now well passed the age I should have been married and this is diffucult because all my firends are married and seem so happy and I want this but dont seem to be able to put myself in a position where I feel ready to start dating, even though I want to for many reasons including spiritually, phyiscal desires, loneliness and I know it will help me and make me happier. I dont feel that I can go on a date and look a girl in the eye unless I know what I am doing with my life and where I am going, – goals in life. Girls what is pshat in this? What are you specifically taking about when you say goals in life? Where you want to live? How many kids? Kollel/work? e.t.c

    I have taken on part time work and this is good because it gives me a fair amount of money and some kind of purpose but it is not a job I want to do. I am just doing it for something to do and because my fanily kind of made me get a job. My friends and family dont really get how I feel. I hide it from them because I am embaressed about my problems, and so they just think I am fine and put pressure on my to go on shidduchim and get on with life and I cant tell them I dont feel in a position to do so.

    Without being to not humble I have good middos, and am good looking, smart funny and a normal guy so on the outside everyone sees this and thinks that I am fine, and only I know I am not so I have to keep putting people of with all sorts nonsense reasons when they suggest this girl and that girl, all of whom may be great. So despite my desire for the intimacy and closeness that a person has with his wife, I feel uncomfortable about sharing my true feelings with a potential kallah until I would be so close with her that we would be engaged but obviously I have a duty to tell any girl about my depression and true feelings well before we would reach this stage, maybe after a few dates. So I am in a catch 22. Espically seeing I am sure that having a kallah would greatly help me to overcome my problems because I would have a soul mate, best firend, confident and someone to share absloutely everything with all rolled into one. Just thinking about this it seems so great kol v’chomer actually having it.

    Please help with any advice, particulary girls, how would you feel about going out with a guy like me/ in my position?

    And shaddachnim/ people with experince in shidduchim what advice can you give me?

    Thanks

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Questions Asked About a Boy/Girl/Family #914042

    This isn`t a question but a ma’aseh that happened to me recently.

    I learn every night in a certain beis hamedrash. Now many people turn up in our beis hamedrash just to chap a late mariv, fine. So there is this one particular ba’al habas who turns up every night for mariv. He always seems to sit near me, ok fine. After a few months we have schmoozed a few times and know each other to say hi. After several months he knows the basics about me, that I`m in college and my career plans. So one night he turns to me and says can we have a chat , I say sure no problem, but could just tell it was about shidduchim.

    So a few nights latter we have this chat, it seems he had been asking around for suitable boys in my beis hamedrash. he asks me all sorts of questions and I try to give away has little has possible whilst finding out has much has I can.

    I live out of town and so he asks me how often I am in town and how often I`m at home for shabbos? I mean who cares I keep shabbos the same wherever I am!

    He then tells me actually he is looking for his neice who has all sorts of problems, he basically sas she’s not that bright or pretty and then that she has an almost opposite backround from mine. Do I want to go out with her?

    I blew him of, and since then it looks like he has found a new minyan for mariv.

    A whole scheme just to find out about me!!!

    At least you have to admire his efforts!

Viewing 28 posts - 1 through 28 (of 28 total)


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