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“WTP – That is “Ones” (coercion), not forgetting.”
according to the halacha, that is forgetting. which is why she was told to light another candle.
and as an aside, your not being able to come up with a scenerio does not mean that many don’t exist. Perhaps asking, instead of writing long posts about how it couldn’t possibly happen, would be the appropriate courtesy to extend to readers.
no, one
seen it? yes. lived it. according to my rav it is a serious issue and if you miss it (as iacisrmma points out, not through being onus) you need to light an extra. know others who also have to light extra for various situations (of having missed) as well.
not a custom, it’s a pretty serious issue.
BG – I just read this thread and feel compelled to “warn” you that if you are dating chareidi style, I think giving any type of gift before being engaged (or having decided between yourselves that you will be doing so) is a very bad idea. From the people around me there is concensus that it might give the wrong message about you hashkofically. I would be careful giving any gifts to a girl without checking in with the shadchan or someone who knows her.
lightbright – after lighting candles is definitely a time to direct prayers to Hashem regarding anything in your heart. If you want to bless people, it would be appropriate to use that time to ask Hashem to Bless them. It is a time to speak to Hashem.
Regrading lighting a candle, the candles are Shabbos candles. There are halachos and minhagim about how many and for what reason but I am sure that lighting them randomly for different people or families to bring them blessing or feel connected is not an appropriate use for this time. I have strong doubts that lighting a candle for someone as a blessing or kind thought is a Jewish concept at all (excluding yahrtzeit). Furthermore, if you light a certain number of candles for shabbos, there may be a serious question on whether or not you can stop lighting that number.
mixing in “feel good” actions with halachos (lighting a candle to connect to someone) can be very serious and I think that is what the rebbetzin responded to. knowing it was not your intent and where you were holding may have made it difficult for her to digest and explain.
I have a cousin into the kabalah institute r”l. they leave water bottles out during torah reading of certain parshas to “absorb the holiness” of the torah reading and then use that to elevate themselves. It may sound spiritual and feel-good-ish but it is not dictated by Torah to do so and therefore is potentially dangerous.
the most striking point brought out on these discussions is what certain posters will be willing to agree with and defend just because popa said it.
and none of that has anything to do with the fact that she seems to have misread something, corrected someone and when it was pointed out, accused me of owing her an apology. And instead of actually resolving it, somehow you are bringing in a side issue.
whatever.
(by the way – that was the remaining reason for the hiatus)
then what was your point? why would you bring that post in to prove he was disrespectful if he wasn’t? (and wondering what brought you in either way. I specifically asked her to bring in a post and would have appreciated a response from her so there is a way to know that it was indeed what SHE was referring to)
on second thought- please don’t answer. I was hoping for a response, not a diversion
by the way – i was counting the seconds til you posted that. knew to expect it. that was the post where he was not disrespectful but it is not the post being referred to. That post led to another post which led to MY above post which is very clearly where she is quoting the offensive line and telling him it was wrong.
it’s not like that. it’s the equivalent going up to someone and saying, “wanna play/do something?”
“As you wrote:
“If you are going to make a statement about a business, at least know all the details”,
Don’t you think that a poseik would make sure to have all the information he needed before he issued a psak? And wouldn’t it be “chosheid b’kisheirim” to assume otherwise, especially if there is a viable explanation? “
here it is. I don’t think it is obvious that his comment was on the Rav and not you as he started it “LU” and wrote “you”. It is obvious that you are sure he is NOT speaking about you but it is not obvious he isn’t so maybe you should double check.
And no, I don’t owe you an apology. You cannot decide that every time someone asks you if you may have erred on something, or proves you might have erred, you turn around and accuse them of attacking you. It’s very manipulative if indeed it is what you are doing which by the looks of things it is but maybe it isn’t.
But that is pretty much the reason I put my 6 year membership on hiatus. The only thing i need to apologize for is giving it another try.
well then please post it because I think you may have inadvertently made a small error that resulted in zdad being corrected and i was hoping you would apologize or at least clarify.
Person1 –
“Please when you’re speculating about a country and a sociaty you don’t live in have the decency to add words like “seems like” and “probably”. “
Yup. I have been wanting to make that same disclaimer to a few other posters as well. And additionally this one:
“Please, when speculating about something that happens in New York can you please have the decency NOT to write words implying it applies to Jews in general or everyone (ie, it is accepted that…, the way it is done is…, in any shul you will find…)”
i know. and when he made the comment (to you), you responded that he shouldn’t say that about poskim. but he wasn’t.
he didn’t criticize any poskim, the comment you are referring to was on you, not the poskim.
People who know the person with this screen name might not know he is the father. Why is that hard to understand, and what did he do to deserve such negativity from you?
Everything related to your comments, you just don’t seem to understand what he is saying. Or how online businesses work.
because then he wouldn’t be anonymous to anyone who knows him. i think the point was respecting privacy/boundaries on personal issues.
The school district I work in has these. The kids were told it was a place to sit if you are looking for someone to spend recess with as there are often ‘closed games’ and it’s hard to match up two or more people who are looking for something to do. A kid could sit there if he’s lonely or in need of a friend, or he could just sit there if his friends are playing four square and he’s a fifth and bored. The bench is on the playground.
One of the schools, who is generally a bit more clueless in the social skills department, has the bench outside the office near the front door. It is used as a place to sit while you wait for your mom to pick you up or for adults waiting for a meeting. Talk about missing the point….
if he is, in fact, trying to remain anonymous, what benefit is there in making him admit he’s the dad?
My heart goes out to you. We buried a young father this week (youngest is 4) and it really hits home. Although many of my friends are blessed with a parent or two, ever since I lost mine I have perpetually been in the state you mention. I weigh almost everything I do against “will this matter after 120?” and “is this a way for me to give a (spiritual)yerusha to my kids?”
Hashem should give you strength.
and Velt, I thought it was a fascinating series of events, I love mysteries (although the unsolvable ones are highly annoying) and I am actually mildly curious about whether or not you are correct
🙁
saying the word Israel is not zionist propaganda.
Telling posters not to wish a country filled with Jews to be handed to a ruler who hates us is not zionist propaganda.
Think before you speak – if you want to comment on zionism, learn the difference between zionists and Jews. And be really careful.
what does that have to do with this conversation? You wanted to let us know how much you hate the state of israel so you said you wouldn’t be happy until Israel – and thereby all it’s inhabitants – is given to turkey. Which would put them all at risk of death. Do you really wish our gedolim to be living in turkey ch”v or under turkish rule? Do you really think our yeshivos should be moved to turkey ch”v? I don’t think you have any idea what the ramifications are of such a horrific thing. Be very careful who you hate and how you word things when you curse them.
stop with the dramatics? you have got to be kidding, Mr. Exclamation point. Who said anything about diplomatic relations. You said when Israel is given to turkey. Maybe you realize you overspoke and are trying to back pedal?
Because I don’t think we should alter “history”. I think it is sheker and can have the negative fall out you mentioned. But when it comes to covering skin on a woman, i just dont see that as altering history, i see that is being consistent with Torah laws. Just because they wore clothing that did not conform to halcha, that does not mean we are free to view it. Now if they changed t shirts to clooar shirts to make a political statement, that would be something else. So – in my opinion – history should not be altered, but women’s clothing needs to cover their skin l’halacha. so find a different picture, or use it in a context where it really is irrelevent.
ya know what health? I think that is a really dangerous thing to say. People are so busy trying to make their level of disgust obvious to all that they don’t watch their words. Don’t ever wish Israel to be given to turkey! what a horrific thing. to hand a country filled with jewish people to a government that wants them dead?! is that really what you wish for all the jews who are living in that country ch”v?
I think I agree with the reason for photoshopping, but in the spirit of emes, I wouldn’t have put it in.
golfer – that is 5% funny and 100% awful! I also received papers with the Tzaddikim wearing streimels but to put the eirev rav in hats is heartbreaking. I hope it was a really bad joke. Do we really need to hate each other that much? Maybe if there were talk bubbles you would have seen that they wore streimels but spoke lashon hakodesh? 😉
I think that maybe nobody (myself included) wants to acknowledge that the Yotz’ei Mitzrayim might have been in long hair with piercings.
I do that for the textbooks but how would you do that for an article?
sorry
zdad – i totally agree with that concept, i just dont know any other way to show a not tznius photograph.
golfer- how very optimistic of you. my thought was that nobody around these days would have such a recipe
😉
I agree about the distortion piece but I am not sure how i feel about this case. in an album that just came out about Telz Chicago there are tons of pictures of people in all types of clothes and head coverings. If the picture is of women, you can’t leave it with skin showing (I am actually in the process of coloring in textbooks so this was on my mind)
as an aside, Leslie ginsparg is from Chicago!
And they are not as “clear” to everyone. Perhaps the virtuous response is, “Oh, I had read it differently, let me read it again”.
Either way, I am not interested in arguing, obviously, which is why I don’t post. If you want to see things…it will be there for you.
And to clarify that last comment from the word “If” until the word “you” before it is hocked – it is a GENERAL STATEMENT to ALL of klal Yisroel in ALL areas of our lives.
I did EXACTLY that. I listened to you insist that someone is saying L”H in the face of someone else saying it isn’t. But you insist. I chose to be dan lkaf zchus.
And you’re the one who reprimands the posters for not being dan lkaf zchus over and over again. Here is an opportunity where someone else see’s the comments as NOT being L”H and you continuously INSIST that they are. Just sends all that Dan L’Kaf Zchus talk out the window. If you want other’s to follow your example, you need to set an example to follow.
” He was just the unlucky one. It could have happend to anyone of those other people and if you go to many shuls a similar situation occurs. People just stuff their tfillin somewhere in such a way something could happen, Im sure tiffiln falls on the floor regularly and the owner doesnt know and some good samaritan jsut picks it up, “
LU – the only thing obvious to me from here is your attitude and tunnel vision. Asking people to be more careful with their tefillin after this story is the lesson we should all carry and if you would like to shirk a message and point fingers that is your personal choice.
CTLAWYER – why someone hates trump is no mystery, but how someone of your caliber can support hilary, think she deserves support, and even be so oblivious to who she really is is beyond me. astounds me every time I read your posts.
so you are bothered that 11 years ago Trump was bragging about behavior that the clinton’s perfected at home and in the white house.
Got it.
I sold my whole life policy to pay for tutoring for my son. And no, I’m not joking.
Sparkly – if you don’t want to say it’s you, then just ignore the questions. But to be so adamant about not even knowing why we would connect the two is a bit silly. The writing and content are almost identical, sometimes are actually identical.
Finally – someone says it like it REALLY is. Thank you nisht. I can understand why hilary supporters hate trump and vice versa, but i cannot fathom why hillary supporters support hillary or trump supporters, trump. And when you ask it goes like this:
#1: How could you respect trump/hillary, that liar
#2: What? Do you know what lies Hilary/trump told!?
Never an answer why they possibly think their side is valuable, just why the other isn’t…because really the country is in huge trouble with either one at the helm!!!!
while I agree with what you are saying, this is the CR. if someone is ‘discovered’ or needs to start over for various reasons they may give the impression of being new. While it’s never good practice to lie, we’re talking about a persona, which for some posters may not even be real people at all but rather characters of the mind.
I can’t sign up now but have been saying whatever I know b’al peh at breaks
Wolf – I thought you were describing me but you don’t know me. I can only tell you that when you have those feelings, you are adding a layer to your purpose by staying constant. On those days I struggle hard to daven, I find it challenging to “give” wondering who wants damaged hand-outs.
You may feel that being rote is just a default mode but it isn’t. Not that someone else can convince you of anything that your heart is convincing you isn’t so, but just posting that you want things to be different is that proverbial needle’s eye and you can expect Hashem to help with the next step.
I love the fact that you have your own “people” but know where to turn when you need love and support 😉
gosh, it’s not just the style, even some of the content is the same. Forget twin, I’d bet gilgul.
wtp – he knew that, he just wanted to make sure it was pointed out.
gaw – have no fear, that is not what I thought you meant. I was just making the point that even when in the position of being a beggar, I will still be choosy for a school that is good for my kid even tho I might be more flexible otherwise.