technical21

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Viewing 50 posts - 151 through 200 (of 285 total)
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  • in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120587
    technical21
    Participant

    Any men who are on YWN should probably abstain from commenting on seminary in any way, shape, or form, since they don’t understand its purpose and never will.

    in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120585
    technical21
    Participant

    apushatayid- who says that most 18- or 19-year-old girls will listen to what their parents tell them about what their seminary says?

    Also, which parents of 18- or 19-year-old girls ask them what they learned in school every day? Seems to me that that’s a bit of micromanagement…

    I think that seminary girls need to be allowed to be seminary girls, and post-seminary girls need to be allowed to be post-seminary girls. They will often go way too far in believing every word their seminary teachers say. That’s why I waited a full year after seminary before I started shidduchim; I needed to come back to earth and balance what my teachers told me with who I am, and figure out what is healthy and balanced for me- independent of what anyone else wanted or expected me to be.

    in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120582
    technical21
    Participant

    Joseph- I meant that girls do sometimes take things that their seminaries tell them VERY literally, and they are likely to say no more quickly than they probably should have because of it. That’s why I said that this is more likely to be what the seminary told their girls, rather than actually telling them to say no if he’s not exactly what you’re looking for.

    By the same token, when I have said no after a date, it has almost always been mutual (even-or maybe especially-a first date). I’m not saying that I won’t give it a chance; I have had boys where I felt no particular connection, but went out a 2nd time if we were able to find things to talk about on the date. I’ve also had an experience where the 1st date wasn’t anything special, but I had a much better 2nd and 3rd date. This is only if there is something to talk about, though.

    All I’m saying is that there is such a thing as knowing after one date that the boy is not for you.

    in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120574
    technical21
    Participant

    Also, I’m sure that you’re hearing about that particular seminary (without knowing which one you’re referring to) from secondhand information, and it is probably grossly exaggerated. The seminary probably tells the girls not to date longer than necessary- which I don’t think is great advice, but it’s not as bad as what you wrote.

    in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120573
    technical21
    Participant

    A Woman Outside Brooklyn-

    As a girl in shidduchim, I have to disagree with you. There are times where I get into the car and after 5 minutes, I can tell that there is no connection whatsoever. I think that thousands of girls out there will agree with me. I have mentors/teachers whom I speak to when I date, and I have never been told that I was unjustified in saying no after the first date.

    Sometimes, everything looks good on paper, but two people just don’t click- and it could be immediately evident.

    in reply to: Skipping Winter This Year… #1133745
    technical21
    Participant

    coffee addict- that’s the argument; no one denies that there is climate change, just that it’s caused by human interference.

    in reply to: Shidduchim- trying them all? #1141756
    technical21
    Participant

    If what you’re trying to say is that he’s not “the man of your dreams,” most people don’t marry “the man of their dreams.” (I would’ve said that no one does, but I was afraid of getting some dispute from engaged people in the CR.)

    Everyone has this “image” in their head of what their “one” will look and be like. That image can be very destructive in shidduchim, since the real “one” is usually very different from that image. The question is, are we foolish enough to bypass our zivug because of that?

    If that is the problem you’re facing, I know it’s not an easy one to shake, but work on it as much as you can.

    in reply to: Things Kids Said/Did #1185409
    technical21
    Participant

    Keep the posts on this thread coming- I need more laughs!!:)

    in reply to: Who has more experience, the parents or their children? #1116480
    technical21
    Participant

    SDD- has Moshiach come in your world? That encapsulates a lot of what the Rambam says will happen with the arrival of Moshiach.

    Hashemisreading- agreed.

    In terms of whether parents or children know better, I’m biased, since I’m a child in shidduchim. I take care of my shidduchim pretty much exclusively. In my particular situation, I think my parents would agree with me that I understand how to handle shidduchim better than they do.

    I’m not saying that this is the norm, or that this is a good thing (I don’t think it is), but just that this is my situation.

    in reply to: Skipping Winter This Year… #1133736
    technical21
    Participant

    Isn’t this a recurring theme the past few years? It’s warm later into fall/winter, and then it’s cold later into spring/summer? I seem to recall saying this a lot in recent years…

    in reply to: Rabbi Wallerstein's Shiur schedule? #1115191
    technical21
    Participant

    on Wednesday nights, sorry

    in reply to: Rabbi Wallerstein's Shiur schedule? #1115190
    technical21
    Participant

    Well, for women he has an 8:30 Chaburah in Ohr Naava.

    in reply to: Sems like Machon Raya? #1120308
    technical21
    Participant

    writersoul

    Let me clarify. My sister has nothing against Michlalah, and wouldn’t hesitate to go there if she thought it was the right place for her. She is the last one to worry about image. However, she’s a Bais Yaakov girl who has gone to right-wing schools her whole life, and in Michlalah, they learn Gemara. It’s a totally different world.

    My sister heard some things about different seminaries that made her rethink her choices. As things stand now, she is planning on applying to Machon Raya, Bnos Avigail, and Bnos Sarah.

    in reply to: Seminary Where the good girls go #1115061
    technical21
    Participant

    It’s true that many people go to seminary for shidduchim. That’s why BJJ has so many girls who don’t belong there:) Well, that and name-dropping.

    That being said, not everyone takes shidduchim into account when choosing a seminary. People do try to find a place where they will grow spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually (in that order-or at least that’s the point of sem, IMO), gain more independence, find new friends, and generally change for the better.

    in reply to: Scholarship for Seminary in Israel #1115039
    technical21
    Participant

    Really? I’m surprised… I think that the point of Masa is to attract new olim. Therefore, it would make sense that they would try to attract people from everywhere, not just America, no?

    in reply to: Scholarship for Seminary in Israel #1115037
    technical21
    Participant

    Just so you know, BJJ doesn’t take Masa, but they automatically shave a few thousand off the top of their tuition instead. (I think it’s because of a fundamental objection to taking money from an institution to which they object.)

    in reply to: Sems like Machon Raya? #1120305
    technical21
    Participant

    Thanks!

    What types of girls are there? Is it very yeshivish? More girls from Flatbush/Lakewood/BP, or out of town?

    in reply to: Sems like Machon Raya? #1120303
    technical21
    Participant

    My sister originally thought about Darchei Binah when she was in 11th grade, but has since decided that it’s not for her because of the girls who go there. She is looking for a Bais Yaakov seminary, just a more middle of the road one.

    in reply to: Sems like Machon Raya? #1120301
    technical21
    Participant

    Hi

    Does anyone know anything more about Bnos Avigail? My sister tried calling girls who are there, but she couldn’t get through…

    Is it considered very yeshivish, or more middle of the road? Is it academic? How strict are the rules there? (That’s one big knock against certain seminaries- their rules are very confining.)

    in reply to: Women and herring… #1115631
    technical21
    Participant

    Gross

    in reply to: The Geula Is Imminent! #1115892
    technical21
    Participant

    ???? ?? ??? ??? ?????

    “???? ??????”

    1,000 years are like a second in the eyes of Hashem… obviously we are experiencing the ????? ?????, but in terms of ????, there’s no way of knowing how long those ????? will last. So let’s daven for ??????!

    in reply to: BYA SEMINARY ACADEMIC LEVEL #1113921
    technical21
    Participant

    By the way, just for perspective, I was valedictorian of my high school class and probably would’ve gone to BJJ if money hadn’t been a concern. I didn’t have any trouble with the classes or work, but I still loved the seminary and gained more there than I might have anywhere else.

    in reply to: BYA SEMINARY ACADEMIC LEVEL #1113920
    technical21
    Participant

    BYA is an AMAZING sem. While its academic level is certainly not that of BJJ or Mesores Rochel, it is far from “not academic.” It’s somewhere in between. There’s plenty of work, and if you’re not good at reading ??????, it can be very overwhelming; if you have strong textual skills, though, it’ll pretty much be a breeze. Depends where you’re coming from.

    But beyond easy/hard, the classes are super-stimulating and very meaningful for your life. BYA’s teachers give you loads of life skills and ???? that you will carry with you forever. While it may be an amazing thing to have covered the entire ??”?, it seems to me that having covered ???? ?????, straight ?????, emotional skills, and the ????? of a woman are much more fundamental for us. Are you going to seminary to learn like a man, or to learn like a woman? I never found the classes to be dry and boring- quite the opposite.

    In terms of the girls, I can’t give you as accurate of an answer, since I went there three years ago. My year was pretty out-of-towny and more yeshivish, but I think it’s been more in-towny and less yeshivish since then. We had mostly girls who had also applied to Bnos Sara and/or Nachlas (Rebbetzin Jacobovits was still there when applications were due). We had an incredible group of girls, which made the year special.

    By the way, you should know that if you do go to BYA, you will have the most unbelievable, ????dik teacher in the world, Mrs. Rubinfeld. The only other sem that she teaches in is Meohr Shana Bet. She is BYA’s best-kept secret. Someone from BJJ recently compared her favorably to Rebbetzin David.

    Then there’s also the best madricha and person you will ever meet… but you’ll find about her if you go:)

    One other thing I love about BYA is the fact that I am still in touch with several teachers until today. Even those who I am not in touch with, I know that if I ever want or need to, they are a phone call away, and will not think that I’m weird for calling. I did have to work on establishing the ??? originally, but they are very receptive to girls who want to make a ???.

    in reply to: Tehillas vs Chemdas vs nachlas #1113922
    technical21
    Participant

    Are you planning to (a) apply to all three, (b) choose two to apply to, or (c) apply to one of the above plus one or two other places?

    My sister is in 12th grade and applying to seminary. From what she and I have heard, your assessment is pretty accurate. I think that Chemdas is also pretty academic, though- just based on the fact that so many girls who apply there also apply to BJJ. It’s definitely more yeshivish than the other two.

    (Tehillas is definitely not an academic Verizon, though:))

    in reply to: Women: Where do YOU buy tznius dresses? #1113844
    technical21
    Participant

    I have the same problem. While I will wear a shell underneath to make a neckline a little higher or for sleeves, I don’t buy dresses that have cutouts, dips in the back, v-necks or very low necklines in front, etc. It makes for an extremely difficult time.

    What I try to do is find a dress that’s workable- meaning, it has enough material in most places, but needs to be lengthened a little. Then I’ll buy material and add to the bottom. It’s expensive, but with my standards of tznius and also my desire to look nice (not trendy, but put together and attractive), it seems to me to be the only way.

    Lord and Taylor sometimes has good sales on dresses that are “less problematic.” Nordstrom is very popular among frum people, but I always wonder why, since most of their dresses have weird cutouts and are also extremely expensive. Some of the frum stores can have dresses without the cutouts that “only” need a hem down.

    in reply to: Israel's HaKaras HaTov for America #1112248
    technical21
    Participant

    I think that right now and always, Israel’s biggest priority is to defend itself from attacks. Any country that stands in the way of Israeli defense against Arab terror is a hindrance. While the U.S. is certainly better than some other countries in that arena, our government hasn’t exactly been looking out for the best interests of Israel, especially under the Obama administration.

    And by the way, the U.S. has a TON at stake with Israel’s existence. They are the only democracy in the Middle East, and the only reason that there isn’t complete anarchy and chaos there.

    So while Israel definitely owes America a measure of hakaras hatov, they do not owe more than they give. Netanyahu needs to put the immediate security interests of his country over his (somewhat debatable, degree-wise?) obligation towards the U.S.

    in reply to: "What's your favorite color?" is bad chinuch #1114152
    technical21
    Participant

    Hashemisreading- I meant give me a break on the thread, not on your choice of favorites. No comment on that one way or another. You’re entitled to have whatever favorites you want, and to ask your children, grandchildren, and all your doros what their favorite food/color/song/etc. is!

    in reply to: Flatbush traffic problem #1113714
    technical21
    Participant

    The subway can take just as long as driving.

    in reply to: Jewish music #1113025
    technical21
    Participant

    There are many times where it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the original song is non-Jewish.

    Also, there is at least one group whose tunes are all taken straight from non-Jewish songs, and the words changed to mimic the non-Jewish one. I think it became particularly obvious when “Candlelight” came out…

    in reply to: Flatbush traffic problem #1113700
    technical21
    Participant

    scared driver delight- that’s true. Our mayor reminds me of Obama on this one- trying so hard to push his Vision Zero initiative that he fails to consider the repercussions (which, by the way, include more accidents on side streets as people try to speed down, according to Dov Hikind).

    in reply to: Hair Loss with Yeshiva Guys #1170625
    technical21
    Participant

    I was just commenting on the fact that Jewish men’s hair does thin early- or, at least it seems to me to be very early. Maybe I’m wrong statistically speaking.

    in reply to: Hair Loss with Yeshiva Guys #1170624
    technical21
    Participant

    scared driver delight- you’re right. I didn’t refer back to the original post before I posted (I had read it previously).

    Thankfully, I don’t notice the state of non-Jewish men’s hair enough to comment on it.

    in reply to: Hair Loss with Yeshiva Guys #1170620
    technical21
    Participant

    For those who say the OP’s point isn’t true, take it from someone who’s dating boys in their early to mid-20s, and has seen all of her friends get married to boys in that age range- it is most certainly true.

    Almost all the boys’ hair is starting to thin in front, at the very least. For a while I was kind of bothered by it, but since I realized it is so widespread, I decided that it’s just a fact of life to deal with. It’s out of the boy’s control.

    in reply to: jets thursday night game #1111644
    technical21
    Participant

    Hashemisreading- I agree- I don’t get what else the guy was supposed to have done. Maybe walked to the police station and reported it?? I mean, come on!

    in reply to: "What's your favorite color?" is bad chinuch #1114140
    technical21
    Participant

    Give me a break…

    in reply to: Flatbush traffic problem #1113694
    technical21
    Participant

    The point of the 25 mph speed limit is that it mostly prevents you from driving over 35 mph on Ocean Parkway, because of speed cameras.

    Even with people driving at 35 mph, there is still a lot more traffic on Ocean Parkway than there used to be- especially at night heading up the avenues from the Prospect Expressway/BQE.

    in reply to: Lying for the sake of Shalom #1111965
    technical21
    Participant

    Maybe it’s not outright ??? – I don’t know the halachic aspect of the matter – but in my opinion, it’s the wrong thing to do.

    Also, what if the person shows up and wants to park in his own driveway?

    in reply to: Lying for the sake of Shalom #1111961
    technical21
    Participant

    RebYidd23- I could see how there would be individual situations in which a person would know that you’re lying for the sake of shalom. Generally, if done right, the person will not know.

    This is one of the situations about which the ???? says “????? ???? ?????” – use your common sense to know if it’s the right thing to do or not.

    Unfortunately, there are always going to be people who use ????? and ????? to their own ends. That being said, there really are situations that come up in everyday life which require lying (or omitting some of the truth) for the sake of ????.

    in reply to: Music for Ahavas Hashem #1113248
    technical21
    Participant

    ???? ????

    ??? ?’ ?? ??? ????

    in reply to: jets thursday night game #1111630
    technical21
    Participant

    I don’t know, it seems to me that the bridge guy did what a lot of people would do in that situation.

    And by the way, ask anyone who knows me- I try to be as careful as possible when it comes to sheker, sometimes to a fault.

    (And since this thread referred to a football game- I once had a boy tell me on a date that he admires the Patriots because they’ll do anything to get an edge. Huge red flag for me.)

    in reply to: jets thursday night game #1111614
    technical21
    Participant

    Syag- I take offense at that. All I’m saying is that it’s not rishus! Saying that someone is a rasha is very extreme. We call Hitler and Stalin resha’im; we should be careful about who else we put into that category.

    I think that it’s very passive-aggressive to use this to cast doubt on the way people here live their lives. All this thread is saying is that people have a little bit more of an ability to see shades of gray in people, instead of labeling them as all bad because of one action.

    in reply to: jets thursday night game #1111599
    technical21
    Participant

    You’re right, it’s very technical… I could give you a technical answer, too, but then we’d just argue over it nonstop.

    Point is, it is too harsh to call someone a ??? for that particular action. If every person who does something self-centered is a ???, then we’ve got an awful lot of ????? running around!

    in reply to: jets thursday night game #1111596
    technical21
    Participant

    I think that we have a very different definition of “rishus.”

    Someone who has bad midos is not automatically categorized as a rasha. Being self-centered is a very bad midah, but it doesn’t make a person a rasha!

    in reply to: jets thursday night game #1111592
    technical21
    Participant

    It sounds like a believable story… but the conclusion drawn seems erroneous to me.

    What was the guy supposed to have done?

    in reply to: jets thursday night game #1111589
    technical21
    Participant

    zahavasdad- that’s a crazy story.

    The fact is, calling someone a rasha for doing something like that is completely uncalled for. It might be a very selfish thing to do, and stem from bad midos, but a rasha? Give me a break.

    Let’s save the word rasha for people who really deserve it.

    in reply to: Flatbush traffic problem #1113689
    technical21
    Participant

    It’s not just a problem by that particular intersection; it’s a problem in the whole Flatbush. The 25 mph speed limit has made things even worse, if possible.

    Worse still, they have deliberately made the lights out of sync so that you miss a minimum of 3 lights for every 1 light you make.

    Did you check out Ave P between Coney and Ocean Parkway?

    How about the new traffic light on East 24th and M, preventing you from getting straight to Bedford? That adds another 2-3 lights, minimum.

    Driving in Flatbush is just not worth it.

    in reply to: Has anyone taken the NYU language test? #1112229
    technical21
    Participant

    I didn’t take it in English, but I took it in Hebrew and it’s probably pretty similar.

    In the first part, you listen to a paragraph in the language once with the opportunity to write notes, and then you answer somewhere around 10 questions. It’s pretty basic.

    The next section is a 150-word composition in the language. They give you 3 choices of topic.

    The third section is to translate from English to the language, and the 4th is to translate from the language to English.

    With my American background in Hebrew (though admittedly, I am pretty good with dikduk), I got a 12 out of 12. I didn’t prepare for the test at all.

    in reply to: Did anyone take the GRE? #1110901
    technical21
    Participant

    charliehall- don’t you think that the GRE may have changed just a little bit since you took it, especially given the fact that they have been changing all the standardized tests?

    Also, it is not so easy to get into graduate school in certain fields. OT seems to be pretty competitive; pharmacy certainly is; med school and law school are extremely difficult. Also, keep in mind that in many fields, which school you attend makes a big difference.

    For me, getting into graduate school wasn’t an issue, since I’m in a field that’s not so competitive. Also, the GRE wasn’t required last year (although it is now).

    in reply to: Did anyone take the GRE? #1110899
    technical21
    Participant

    I did not take the GRE, so I can’t answer that. It is important to get a good grade if you want to get into graduate school; exactly how important it is depends on how competitive graduate school is in your field of choice.

    in reply to: Chofetz Chaim guys #1108462
    technical21
    Participant

    A girl can have many reasons for not wanting to go out with a Chofetz Chaim boy. For one thing, it’s a very close-knit community (not just a yeshiva), and if you don’t want to be part of that community, it’s not a good idea to marry a Chofetz Chaim boy!

    Also, while Chofetz Chaim teaches middos and mussar in a way that has seemingly been forgotten by many other yeshivos, they allow certain things that girls in the mainstream yeshivish community probably won’t like.

    There are very valid, non-external reasons for not wanting to marry a Chofetz Chaim boy, just as there are valid reasons for not wanting to marry boys from other yeshivos.

Viewing 50 posts - 151 through 200 (of 285 total)