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I have to say that never have I noticed an uptick in shidduch suggestions or dates due to the freezer opening.
Also, for me, Lakewood boys have been my worst dates. Not that that’s a ra’aya for anything… but many people have told me they don’t see me with a Lakewood boy.
There are many boys who don’t go to E’Y for one reason or another. It does not usually affect their shidduchim.
I am 5’3″, and I dated one boy who was 5’10”. I wore heels on the first date, and I could tell he was uncomfortable with them. I was uncomfortable with the height difference without my heels.
I wear heels on dates because I feel more confident in my appearance when I’m wearing them. I would be very offended, though, if I didn’t wear heels on a date and the boy made a big deal about it. I’d dump the boy in a heartbeat, actually… total antithesis of what I’m looking for.
Bramo- those who do not believe in marrying a learning boy will view it as brainwash; those who do believe in marrying a learning boy will view it as being taught the right way. It all depends on your perspective.
Many, if not most girls my age did not grow up with this lifestyle. Even if our fathers started off learning, most likely they went out to work when we were very young or not born yet. However, just because a person did not grow up with something, does not mean they cannot choose it for themselves.
DY- the point being made is that the system is ridiculous. There is no reason that a 25-year-old boy who is ready to get married should be relying completely on his parents for shidduchim, and, once he is married, relying completely on his in-laws for support.
That’s why when I get married BE’H, there will be a keyboard player under strict instructions not to play that way. I like leibedik music, but not all that electronic-techno-rocky stuff they play nowadays. It’s not music, it’s noise.
squeak- pretty much agreed.
I had my cousin’s wedding tonight, and the music was out of control. I think I probably permanently damaged my hearing. (The wedding itself was also out of control, but that’s a different matter.)
Tehillim 121 is recited because it was originally recited by Yaakov Avinu when he was looking for his zivug- “meiayin yavo ezri?” – where will my ezer kenegdo come from?
It would have been helpful if the teacher who taught this to me would have provided a precise source, but I did learn this on my last day of seminary.
Baruch Levine
Joseph- many, many people have shared similar experiences. Obviously anecdotal evidence is weak, but many people in shidduchim have gone through “not enough money” or “not pretty/skinny enough” coming from the boy’s mother.
B’H nothing like that ever got back to me, but I’m sure it’s been said.
Thanks!
?? ?????? ?????? ??????, ??? ??? ????? ????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ??????, ?????? ?? ????? ?????? ???? ??????? ??, ??? ?????? ???? ??????
???? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ???? ????? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ????? ???? ?? ???? ??? ???? ????? ???
???? ???? ??? ???? ??’ ???? ?’ ?????
Money is a nisayon, but many people will say to Hashem (in theory) “Test me.”
I was actually thinking about this today when I saw the YWN article about the lottery. So, so many lottery winners see the money ruin their lives, through divorce, bankruptcy, tax trouble, etc. Several have committed suicide. We all think that we wouldn’t fall into these problems, but clearly there are many issues with becoming that rich overnight.
For all that it sounds wonderful to have so much money, I’ll go with our ????? every day- ??? ??????… ?? ???? ?????.
writersoul- I would think that the interviewer saw right through it… no? They usually know when you prepared answers in advance.
I’m actually one of those who gets really nervous and doesn’t interview well, so I was lucky to apply to only one seminary where I knew I was getting in. My sister B’H is much better with interviews than I am, and she seems to have gotten through her 3 interviews pretty well. She was asked several on-the-spot questions which would have caught me for a loop, but she was able to think on her feet and respond well.
I think one-man bands are so much more worthwhile, unless you have a lot of money to burn and/or you feel the need to impress those in attendance. Most people just want the music to be leibedik (but, honestly, not too crazy loud…).
The only thing about a one-man band that I would say is to make sure that he is leibedik.
I actually go to chasunahs and take note of one-man bands that I like, so I have an idea of who I would want to sing at my chasunah someday.
I don’t drink, and don’t plan to start.
Torah613Torah- they’re the ones who don’t usually care to cover up; they outright say that they want a skinny girl.
Happy 21st to me… please change my username to technical21:)
to me:)
Hashemisreading- my seminary spoke to us about not going to young couples, especially shana rishona. It’s a breach of tznius.
writersoul- fair enough.
Okay. Sorry for engaging.
Was just getting on my nerves.
Shopping613- that’s part of the difficulty of peer pressure; many of us want to do things differently than the crowd, but we feel stifled by others’ judgment. Some people react with reverse judgment- basically judging their judgers- but I don’t think that’s right, either.
The best way is to work on being confident and comfortable with who you are, and to try not to care so much what other people think. It’s extremely difficult, but it’s doable.
I personally do not buy a whole new wardrobe every season. I buy to fill in the gaps of what is unusable from last season, or the season before that, or 5-10 seasons before. Sometimes that could mean buying nothing new, if my clothing remained intact. My main objective is that my clothing looks nice on me and I feel good in it. It doesn’t have to be at the height of fashion.
MsPrincess- there you go again; “I barely study for psychology.” And you never say you’re better than anyone else???
Psychology as a subject may be easy on paper, but it’s much more complex in real life. If you fail to understand that, then you fail to understand human psychology.
Touro has a math program that is geared towards actuarial science majors. It’s actually very good for that purpose- and oh, yes, there is analysis. The difference is that since I went for math ed, I could’ve used other classes more geared toward that, but they don’t have too many.
MsPrincess- my parents didn’t want me to go to seminary. The way I convinced them was by having good grades and being able to convince a seminary to give me a very reduced rate:)
I’m not being entirely fair, though, since I went from BYA HS to BYA seminary, and they are owned by the same person. Made it a lot easier for me to get a scholarship.
writersoul- about your friend from Lakewood, it’s very different when you’re not dorming in Stern.
And you ignored what I said about Moses Mendelssohn… probably because you don’t know what I’m talking about.
and I have a total of ONE other frum person in my class.
MsPrincess- Touro grad school is not Jewish. Most of my classmates are Arab or African American.
Most of my friends who stayed here for seminary did not get any shidduch suggestions during the year. It’s hard for people to take an 18-year-old girl seriously.
With regard to seminary, I don’t know where I would be without it. I feel that if utilized properly, the seminary year can be a year of tremendous emotional, spiritual, and intellectual growth. That growth could not have necessarily been achieved here, when girls are still connected to their families. Seminary is a time to step out of preconceived notions about yourself, which is hard to do when you’re living at home.
As for the partying- well, know your girls. Yes, some girls do go to E’Y to party, and I would tend to agree that for them, seminary is a waste of time and money. Most girls don’t go for that, though. In my seminary, it was a very small minority of girls who were partying in Geula and Ben Yehuda; the rest of us took the year seriously. Yes, we had a ton of fun, but that wasn’t the sole focus.
writersoul- not a bad idea, actually…. kind of bridges the gap between the two mindsets.
Who said I’m perfect at math? I certainly didn’t. I love math and I think I’m pretty good at it, but I’m by no means a math genius. I’m going for my master’s in math education right now, and hoping to continue to a PhD. No, I didn’t go for the prestige, I went for the practicality and the all-girl undergrad; therefore, I went to Touro Flatbush for my bachelor’s, and Touro for my master’s.
Calc 2 and 3 are really entities unto themselves, independent of Precalc or Calc 1. I guess they’re more similar to Calc 1. (I could be wrong, though, since I never had to take PreCalc.)
Psychology classes are very different than fields in psychology. Understanding human psychology doesn’t come from taking a few classes; it comes from a combination of a high EQ (which is much more important than IQ in the long run), natural insight into human nature, experience, and also intense study.
bk613- I’m not sure that MsPrincess knows what znus is, or understands what male taavos are- at least based on her previous posts.
Not every “fact” (which is, in fact, an opinion) needs to be shoved in other people’s faces.
That is so passive-aggressive…
So you ascribe to Moses Mendelssohn, ??? ??? ????? ?????? ??????
I’m in college, too, and I also have a lot of goyim around me. I don’t change my standards around them.
R’ Wosner’s psak has nothing to do with what happens in your college. Also, did you ignore the other two parts of my post?
If you want to paint your nails red, maybe you don’t want to go to such a yeshivish seminary. It’s quite a contradiction.
The fact that you listen to non-Jewish music and watch movies doesn’t fit with your description of yourself as yeshivish. To say that you want to become more frum is fair, though… there is a question of which BY seminary would take you from your background. BJJ almost sounds like a good idea, since Rebbetzin David apparently likes intellectual girls that aren’t exactly on the beaten track.
First of all, can you please punctuate “he’ll” properly? It’s getting to me.
As for your comments, there’s some Yiddish quote that I’m sure other CR people can supply: if you don’t understand now, explaining it won’t help matters.
But suffice it to say that you’re playing with fire, and unaware that you’re about to get burned.
Well, isn’t that the whole purpose of a Jew- to overcome (and BE’H change) his instincts?
We all have taavos, we all have thoughts and emotions that we probably shouldn’t, we all struggle with nisyonos. The question is if we’re just going to say “it’s not my fault, that’s just who I am” or if we’re going to work on it.
The need to “fit in” is natural and normal, and in many ways, it keeps society running. ????? ????? ??? ?? ???? ???? ????- that’s what it says in ???? ????. At the same time, it causes a lot of difficulty. People of all ages struggle with peer pressure, especially when it is in conflict with their values. The question is if we give in or stand up to it. ????? ???? ????? ????? ????? ???
Now, I’m not saying that buying a new wardrobe every season is necessarily the wrong thing to do. For me personally, it goes against my hashkafa and personal values. Each person has to evaluate what the price of fitting in is, and decide whether or not it fits in with his/her hashkafa.
How about ” ive always been very good at hebrew subjects i would have no issue studying hebrew subjects at the same level if not higher back in school i was in all honor hebrew subject classes for me hebrew is VERY easy and learning chumash and navi is not a problem. i love them and their MUCH easier than any class i am taking right now.”
MsPrincess- “mammele – older does not mean wiser. it just means more life experience. when it comes to academics ive done better than people who have children my own age in my class.”
No implication?
Apparently, South African girls do one of two things: either they graduate in December and wait until September to go to seminary, or they graduate 12th grade in June in order to be able to go to seminary in September.
MsPrincess- before you go for pharmacy, just check into Obamacare and how it affected the field. My sister is thinking of going for pharmacy, but she was told that under Obamacare, it has become impossible to get a job as a pharmacist.
Nurse-practitioner actually sounds like quite a good field… a hard one, as well, but good. My friend’s sister got a job at NYU as a nurse straight out of college, and they will pay for her to go back and become an NP after a couple of years of work.
From the bit of Googling I just did, R’ Wosner zt’l held that it’s under the category of chukos akum, based on the Rama. (Please don’t kill me for that- I literally Googled it in 2 seconds.)
From what I was taught in seminary, it’s a flashy color that stands out and attracts attention.
From what I was taught in high school, it’s a color that was and is worn by “women of the night,” and it evokes certain taavos.
MMY is Modern Orthodox all the way. My cousins went there, and they are pretty modern. They learn Gemara there, so maybe that would appeal to you. I think that Michlalah is considered more academic, though.
My mother took the pill form of marijuana for medical purposes, as prescribed by her doctor. She said that it made her jittery and nervous, and she couldn’t function normally. That being said, I do believe that medical marijuana should be legal. For other uses? Not so much.
MsPrincess- as stated by other users, there is a vast difference between humility and self-deprecation. Not that you’ve been trying to use self-deprecation too much here, unless you’re called out for being full of yourself.